The news that Sirius Orion Black and Artemis Isabella Di Angelo were dating took, maybe, 5 minutes to get the entire way around the school. I'm not even sure how anyone found out- no scrap that, I know exactly how.
While Sirius and I were...Otherwise occupied in our Fourth floor broom cupboard the door had swung open and Sarah Briggs had walked in, yanking the boyfriend of today behind her. The name sound familiar? Course it does. Everybody I'd like to introduce you to Charles Briggs little sister. And I mean little in the loosest sense of the word. Apart from here brain, (which you need a microscope to see) she's big, big hair, big chest, big ego, big mouth. It's not that I don't like her or that she's a bitch or anything, she just has the loosest hinged mouth ever.
She stared at us for about 30 seconds before saying, "You, " she pointed at me, "And you" now at Sirius, "Together?"
"No, " I snapped sarcastically, "We just decided to make out in some random broom cupboard for a potions experiment!"
Behind me Sirius snorted and pulled his shirt back on.
Sarah looked discombobulated, "I didn't realise we had potion homework."
The boy she was with tugged at her arm and said, "Sar, Sar, You don't do potions."
Her confused expression lifted and she smiled, " Oh yeah, I don't. Anyway, don't worry guys. You're secrets safe with me!"
Yeah right, safe to spread it around the entire school in less than 10 minutes.
I almost admired her, she was fast. I'd ended up losing 5 galleons to Sirius (serves me right for gambling) because I'd bet that we would have made it at least up to the common room before being ambushed.
I was wrong
We barely made it up two more floors.
We'd both been dragged off to our respecting dormitories for interrogation.
*Bangs head repeatedly against the wall at the mere memory*
You can just picture the scene, me tied to my bed, lamp shining brightly in my eyes, Jazz, armed with every torture item known to women, including hair curlers and mascara, threatening to give me a makeover if I didn't tell her exactly what I'd been doing, Lily just staring at me dumbfounded from here bed, so shocked that she couldn't even pick up a book, etcetera etcetera.
And as their screaming was long, loud and very painful I shall abridge it slightly to save your ears.
Jazz: How DARE you not tell us you were dating!
(I try to speak but Max just shouts over the top)
Max: We're SUPPOSTED to be your FRIENDS!
(I try to speak again but this time it's Lily who interrupts)
Lily: I'm your BEST friends, you DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SAY YOU WERE SHAGGING SIRIUS FLAMING BLACK IN A BROOM CUPBOARD!
Me (finally managing to get a word in edgeways): WE WEREN'T SHAGGING!
Jazz: It DAMN WELL LOOKED LIKE IT!
Me: YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE!
Jazz: And?
Me: It wasn't exactly shagging, it was more like...second base.
Lily: How long have you been dating?
Me: Erm, about 40 minutes?
Jazz: And you got to second base in 40 minutes, that's fast.
Me: it wasn't like that. He didn't... (I trailed off and gestured towards my chest)
Lily: Oh, that's okay then.
Max: OKAY? HE HAD HIS SHIRT OFF!
Lily: But she didn't.
Me: Lily, you know I love you and everything, but you're not making this any better.
Lily: MY BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN CAUGHT SHAGGING IN A BROOM CUPBOARD WITH THE ENEMY-
Me: FOR THE LAST FRICKING TIME, WE. WEREN'T. SHAGGING!
Alice: If she says they weren't shagging, then they weren't shagging.
Me: thank you Alice, finally someone on my side.
Alice: But I do think you're going way too fast, me and Frank didn't get to second base for at least a month.
Me: WE WEREN'T AT SECOND BASE!
(random voice from the common room drifted up the stairs)
"Will you SHUT THE HELL UP in there, some of us are trying to make out in peace and quiet and I DO NOT need to know about your SEX LIFE!"
Me: thanks a bunch you guys.
EITD: (Everybody In The Dorm) Your welcome.
Me: I meant that sarcastically.
EITD: we know.