Chapter 2: Heart to Heart
"What do you mean, you can't find him?" Lucifer snapped.
"Not my fault. The bloody little wanker decided to sod off when I went to give him his bit of nosh! I thought he was happing a kip!" Balthazar defended. "I admit that I cocked-up but this was a one off! I gave you a bell the moment I realized that the daft cow was gone!"
"It's not that bad Lucifer. We know he hasn't left." Michael said, trying to placate his mate. "Sam most likely just went for a walk around the bunker. He might have found something to read or do."
"For four hours?" The Second Born snapped. "I'm going to go find him."
"There's no need for that." Chuck said coming into the room, followed by Dean, the hunter's arm tightly wrapped in a sling. "I know exactly where he is."
Lucifer rushed over to Dean, running his Grace over the hunter gently. "Dean what happened?"
The eldest Winchester let out a huff and pulled away, moving to hid on the other side of Chuck and away from the hovering archangel. "Damn werewolf. It threw me into a dumpster and broke my arm. Someone from the bar heard the commotion and came to see what happened. Cas went after the wolf and took care of it while I had to go to the hospital for being 'mugged'. That left me with no choice but to call Uncle Chuck."
Michael frowned. "Uncle Chuck?"
Dean nodded. "Yeah. I didn't think they'd take to well to me saying he was my father. So he became Uncle Chuck. So what happened to Sam?"
"Wanker ran off on me." Balthazar said. "Then Lucifer got mad cause I can't find him!"
"Why can't you find him?" The hunter asked curiously.
Michael sighed. "For some reason it seems that the protections that...that Gabriel had active when he was a-alive are still active. They should have ended when...The point is for some reason that we can't figure out those protections are still active when they shouldn't be."
"So what? Is he like reaching from beyond to protect Sam?" Dean asked. "Don't tell me he haunting the bunker!"
"There has never been a report of an angel turning into a ghost." Lucifer said. "It shouldn't be physically possible. We're made of Grace, we don't have a soul like you do."
Dean frowned then began muttering under his breath.
"That's a great idea. Why don't you go do that if it makes you feel better?" Chuck said with a smile, being the only one close enough to the human to hear what he was saying.
The brunette nodded and turned and walked out. Chuck waited until he was out of earshot before turning to his sons. Lucifer seemed torn between wanting to go after Dean and wanting to go look for Sam. Michael seemed tired and run down; he never smiled anymore. Balthazar let out an angry noise and turned back to whatever he was cooking, looking quite out of place in the bright yellow apron with lime green words reading 'Kiss me, you fool!' and a pair of bright red lips that were placed right at waist height. Shaking his head Chuck grabbed Lucifer just as he was about to go after Dean.
"Dean is fine. Sam is fine. Castiel will be here shortly, he is making sure to dispose of the werewolf." He said to his second son. "Lucifer I know this is going to sound ridiculous but you need to stop hovering over them. Dean has Castiel to take care of him and Cas is doing a very good job, just like Cas has Dean to take care of him. They are fine."
"Dad I just want to-"
"I know what you want to do Lucifer but trust me when I say that they are fine. As for Sam, why don't you come with me?" Chuck said softly. "It might make you feel better if you see for yourself that Sam is fine."
Chuck led his son, followed closely by Michael, out of the kitchen. He lead them through the bunker, going lower and lower until they reached a level that was slightly dust filled. He lead them along the only clean path there was to a thick door. He knocked twice before pushing it open. To the two eldest archangel's shock the room was filled with piles of old tomes and was lit by candle light. Sitting in the middle of the room was Raphael, who had looked up when they came in. He was holding a book in one hand while the other was buried in Sam's hair. Sam was using the angel's lap as a pillow and he was laying on what looked like a twin mattress and covered by a one of the angel's large bronze wings.
"Father? Is something wrong?" Raphael asked quietly.
"Why are you sitting in the dark?" Michael asked before their dad could reply.
Raphael swallowed hard. "It's not dark. I have my candles."
"You know we have lights right?" Lucifer asked. "You don't have to use candles."
The younger angel shrugged, not answering his older brother. Chuck didn't say anything but just stepped back to let them talk. This was over do. Lucifer turned to look at Michael, wondering if his mate thought the same thing he was. Raphael was acting strangely. From the look the First Born returned, he was realizing too.
"Okay then. Want to tell us why you're all the way down here? Surely you didn't picked this room just for the exercise." Michael said.
Raphael blinked and a nervous look passed over his face, almost as if he was worried. "You...You told me that I could have a room. Did...Do you need me to find a different one? This room was empty, just like you said."
Michael felt his blood run a bit cold at the hesitant words; Raphael had never been shy or hesitating. "No. You can have this one but why didn't you just take one of the bedrooms upstairs?"
Raphael looked back down at his book. "You said that if I was going to stay the I had to make sure to find an empty room far away. This was the furtherest empty room I could find. All the others have something in them."
"What about a bed? For sleeping?" Michael asked; surely Raphael hadn't taken his words so literally, he was smarter then that.
Raphael frowned. "We're angels. We don't need to sleep or eat."
Michael pointed to the tray in front of him that was scattered with the remains of food.
"I managed to get Sam to eat after his breakdown. He didn't want to leave so I made a bed for him. He's only been asleep for a couple hours. You can take him if you-"
The Third Born let out a hiss as Sam shifted in his sleep. It took them a moment but they realized why. The hunter's fingers were buried into the feathers of his bronze wings. Raphael rubbed at the hunter's scalp and he began to calm once more. The angel let out a sigh and then turned back to his brothers and father.
"Sorry. He keeps having bad dreams and pulling on my feathers. I've been keeping him calm. If you want to take him back to his room you can. It's probably more comfortable for him there anyway." Raphael said, giving them a weak smile.
"Why was Sam down here in the first place?" Lucifer asked coming closer only to stop and tilt his head in confusion as he realized that, in his sleep, Sam was clutching one of the Third Born's tomes. "Why is Sam sleeping with a book?"
"He didn't say why he came down here. He knocked and came in with the food. He gave it too me and began cleaning up." Raphael explained. "I gave it back and told him I didn't need to eat. He picked up a book and began looking in it. So I started showing him the pictures."
"Would that be the book he's holding now?" Lucifer asked.
Raphael gave a brief nod. "Yes. I let him have it."
Michael blinked. "Why would you give a human one of the angelic tomes?"
"I gave it to him because when I started showing him the pictures in it he spoke to me!" The dark skinned angel said. "The first words I heard him speak since we left Ireland. If me giving him that book helps him then he can have it."
"Why that one? What's so special about that book?" Lucifer asked. "What kind of spells does it have in it?"
"There aren't any spells in that book. Mainly it's a collection of artwork that depicts us acting in our roles as archangels. I was showing him the pictures of Gabriel in it. I was teaching him more about his mate and what Gabriel was like before he left heaven. Back when he was younger."
"Is that wise?"
"It's his right. He's the mate of an archangel."
"You mean was. Gabriel is..." Michael trailed off.
"Is he really?" Raphael whispered staring at the empty air that was next to Sam. "I mean what proof do we have that Gabriel is really gone?"
Michael and Lucifer both looked at each other with worry. What did he mean by that? He was there when they pulled the plug and Gabriel had slipped away from them. Had the stress finally gotten to him? Or was he clinging to the hope that maybe their baby brother had somehow managed to fake his death and trick them once more?
"Raphael...He's gone. You were there with us when he...He's really gone." Michael gently reminded him.
"I know. I saw the machines. I saw Suriel confirm it but..." Raphael looked down at Sam, who was sleeping peacefully in his lap.
"But what? You think he managed to fake his death again?" Lucifer asked, trying to figure out where his younger brother was going with this train of thought.
"I was just thinking...The protections on Sam haven't faded. That's never happened before." Raphael said. "What if there was something we missed? What if there was something else we could have done for Gabriel? Something I could have done?"
"You mean other then create a demon that was hell bent on raping and torturing him?" Lucifer spat, making the Third Born flinch.
"Lucifer I can't even-"
"Then don't!" Lucifer snapped. "Gabriel's blood is on your hands! And if Sam dies because he is mourning for his mate then his death will fall on your head as well!"
Raphael flinched and ducked his head. Lucifer let out an angry noise and stormed out. Michael seemed torn but in the end he followed his mate, leaving his younger brother sitting on the floor with Sam still in his lap. Chuck sighed; that did not go at all how he wanted it to go. Yes Raphael had created the demon but he had done so under the influence of outside forces and it was easy to see that guilt that was eating away at the Third Born over his actions.
"I'll talk to them Raphael." Chuck said.
"There's no need for that Father. They have every right to hate me for what I did. I already hate myself for it." The dark skinned angel admitted.
"There is also no need for them to treat you like this for something that you had no control over. What happened to you completely warped everything that you are. You have no right to feel bad about what happened." Chuck said.
"Don't I? Do you even know what I did to Gabby? Did he tell you how I treated him?" Raphael asked, glaring at his father.
The deity nodded. "He told me some of it but not all. The only person who knows everything beside yourself is Sam. Gabriel refused to hide what happened from him."
The dark skinned angel looked down at the sleeping human in his lap. "Gabby told Sam everything that I did to him and...Why is Sam here if he knows what I did to his mate? He should hate me worse then Lucifer does."
"I think Sam forgave you the minute you saved him and Gabriel." Chuck assured him. "I think that might be why he came to see you."
Raphael was silent, staring down at Sam with a forlorn expression. The diety frowned, watching his son as the angel looked down at his brother in law. Chuck was curious as to what was going through his mind but he didn't press. He was sure that if Raphael wanted to talk about what was bothering him then he would. Until then he would just be there for as long as he need him to be.
He walked over and touched two fingers to Sam's brow and the hunter vanished. He had put Sam back in his room so the hunter could rest. Chuck reached out and pulled his son into a hug, holding him close and making sure that he knew that he still loved him. It took a few minutes but Raphael's arms slowly came up and returned the hug.
Pulling back he moved Raphael so that he was laying down on the mattress that he had summoned for Sam. Chuck summoned and pillow and blanket. He put the pillow under his son's head and covered him with the blanket before dropping a kiss on the top of his head. Raphael was frowning and looked quite confused.
"I know you don't need sleep but it would make me feel better if you at least try to get a few hours of sleep okay? Promise me that?" Chuck said.
Raphael gave his dad a sad smile and snuggled down into the blankets. "I promise that I'll try to get some rest. I might just spend the whole time having nightmares. If I do have one...Can I call you?"
Chuck smiled and kissed him again. "Of course you can. Now get some rest."
Raphael sighed and closed his eyes to make his father happy. He laid there with his eyes closed for a several minutes until he felt his father get up and leave. Raphael sighed and opened his eyes to find Gabriel, sitting in the same spot he had been since Sam had his breakdown. The blonde was giving him a soft smile and watching him carefully.
"I told you they wouldn't believe me." Raphael said softly. "They thought I was crazy for even considering that you might still be alive."
^Thanks for trying. I knew they wouldn't buy it but it was worth a shot.^ Gabriel said with a shrug. ^I wanted to thank you too.^
Raphael closed his eyes again. "The last thing you should be doing is thanking me. I've done nothing that you need to thank me for."
^How about taking care of my mate for me? I think that deserves my thanks doesn't it?^ Gabriel asked, his voice sounding both grateful and smug. ^Or did I just dream that you sat here and showed my Sam pictures of me and held him while he cried and napped?^
"I'm just trying to make up for all the pain I caused you. If me taking care of Sam for the rest of his existence helps to erase even one thing I did to you then I will take that chance." The Third Born replied. "I do it for you. My apology."
^I don't need an apology. I need you to forgive yourself.^ Gabriel said and Raphael could almost hear the smile in his voice.
"Forgive myself? How can I? I almost destroyed you on more then one occasion Gabby. Things like that aren't easily forgiven."
^Then how come I've forgiven you for it? Shouldn't it be harder for me to forgive you because I was the victim?^ Gabriel teased.
Raphael was slient.
^You know I was teasing you right?^
"I...I still don't understand. I don't know why you're forgiving me. I don't know why you've attached yourself to me."
^I don't know either.^ Gabriel admitted. ^Maybe it's because we've had so much happen between us that I felt like I couldn't leave without us finishing it. Either that or I really wanted to play some more pranks on you guys.^
"So you're saying that out of all the things you could be doing, that you stayed behind to annoy me?" Raphael asked in disbelief.
^Well it certainly wasn't for your charming personality.^ The blonde retorted. ^You have all the personality of a lump of slime with the emotional range and face to go with it.^
Raphael's eyes snapped open to stare at his younger brother. "Did you just call me boring, stupid and ugly all in one sentence?"
Gabriel smirked down at him. ^Maybe I did. Why? What are you going to do about it? It's not like you can tell on me. Michael won't believe you and there's nothing Dad can do about it. At least I don't think there is.^
Raphael shook his head. "Only you Gabby."
^Seriously though Raph. I meant what I said. You really do need to forgive yourself. It's the only way you'll find peace again.^ Gabriel said turning serious.
"What if I don't want to find peace?" Came the whispered admission.
Gabriel frowned. ^Why would you not want to find peace?^
"I don't want you to go away."
^You think if you find peace that I'll go away?^ The blonde asked, confusion lacing his voice.
"What if the only reason you're here with me right now is because I can't let go of what I did to you? What if that is the only reason you're here."
^So I'm a manifestation of your guilt?^
"Maybe. I don't know. I just know that if I let go of my guilt that you might go away too and I don't want you to go away Gabby." Raphael said softly. "I want you in my life again even if it means that I am stuck with you haunting me for the rest of my existence."
Gabriel seemed to think for a mintue before looked at his brother once more. ^So why are you telling me all this?^
"Because I know you won't tell anyone else."
Gabriel let out a sudden grin and Raphael knew he made a mistake the minute he saw it. ^Dear Gabby, Today I sat all alone in my room reading my books again and-^
"So help me Gabriel if you don't shut up I will exorcize you!" Raphael napped before rolling over and trying to get to sleep, the sound of Gabriel's laughter ringing in his ears like music.