Chapter Four
"And that's how it all happened," Leo finished.
He had told Arella everything. The way he and his brothers came into being, their long struggle against the Foot Clan and Shredder. Everything.
They were sitting with their backs resting against the wall beneath the row of windows. The light peeking between the slats of the blinds had turned from pale white to golden yellow, signaling that it was somewhere around noon. Arella absently reached up and twisted a wand, closing the slats.
"So," she suddenly said. It was the first word she'd spoke in quite some time. "All four of you really started life as regular old pet turtles?"
"Uh-huh."
Leo flicked a glance at her. "You don't think that's strange, do you?"
Now that was a stupid question. Of course it was strange. All of it was strange.
But Arella's smile was soft as she turned her head and looked at him. "I think it's amazing. I think you are amazing. You've been through so much, yet you've managed to hold on to a certain sense of..."
Her smile deepened as her fingers slipped between his. "Innocence," she finished.
Leo wasn't sure if he would describe himself as innocent, but when she looked at him like that, he felt innocent. He felt a lot of things when she was this close to him, some of them he couldn't quite name. But he knew that being this close to her made him feel peaceful. As if everything that was going on in his life right now didn't matter.
Smiling, he tightened his grip on her hand, though not by much. She felt so delicate to him, so fragile. Like a living porcelain doll, and if he held her too tightly she might break.
And yet she seemed content in her current environment. Leo had to admit that if he didn't know how bad it looked out in the hallway or outside, he would probably feel content here too. Arella kept the place nice and clean; the hardwood floor was smooth and polished, the dingy walls were hidden by her finished works of art. A small shelf next to the bed had a row of scented candles lined up along the top, though their pleasant odor didn't quite mask that odd smell coming from the hall.
Arella's grip on his hand tightened, and thoughts about the smell, the tiny apartment, and everything else faded from his mind as he looked at her. "I'm glad I have you, Rey," he said softly.
He was glad now that he'd let his mind wander and he let himself be seen. They had only just met, but he already knew that Arella was going to be an important part of his life - maybe the most important part, the most important thing that ever happened to him. He wasn't sure how he knew; he just did.
Arella's eyes were half-closed and dreamy, her long lashes obscuring her green orbs. Leo absently wished that she would open them wide; he was starting to like how he felt like he could drown if he stared into them too closely.
And then she closed them completely as she leaned closer and brushed her lips against his. Leo felt a shock-wave.
"Sorry," Arella murmured, bringing her fingertips to her pink lips as she pulled away. "That was too sudden."
"No," Leo said quickly. "I-I mean, yes, it was, but..."
Realizing he was stammering like a child, he flushed and closed his mouth. Arella continued to finger her mouth, her eyes lowered from his. It was a sight too endearing, too tempting to pass up. Moving slowly, Leo reached out and rested a hand on her creamy shoulder. He brought his other hand up and tilted her chin. Her eyes lifted and locked with his.
He had been planning to kiss her, but with that intense gaze searing into his own, he felt frozen, mesmerized. A tiny smile touched her lips; her fingers drifted from her mouth and down to the hand still resting on her jaw, her fingers closing around his. She lifted her face and her mouth touched his.
It was indescribable. On a physical level it was easy enough; her lips were soft and like the rest of her skin - not warm and not cold. They grew moist as they moved over his, her breath tickling his face as it quickened.
On an emotional level it was something else, something he couldn't begin to name. He felt excited. Ecstatic. His heart soared like it never had before. At the same time it was frightening, strange and completely unknown. It was thrilling and terrifying in ways he couldn't even begin to understand. It was wonderful.
A thumping sound made him jump; Arella pulled from his mouth with a frustrated grunt. Leo's entire body ached with disappointment of having that precious contact broken.
The thumping sounded again; it dawned on him that someone was knocking on the door. Arella pulled her arms from his neck, and he unwound his fingers from her curls. He didn't even remember putting them there.
"What?" Arella called sharply as she stood. "I'm busy in here, Jim."
"Don't get flippant with me, Grant," came a gruff voice from out in the hall. "Your rent is due."
"I left it on your desk this morning," Arella said testily. "You know, that brown thing that's in your office?"
"Fine. You're a real pain in the butt, you know that, Tanya? But you're cute, so I put up with it."
Heavy footsteps retreated. "Tanya?" Leo echoed when they were gone.
Arella scoffed and turned from the door. "He's a drunk," she muttered, twisting the blinds back open. "He doesn't know me from Eve."
Leo got to his feet and watched as she went back to her canvas. "I have to finish this," she said, an apologetic note in her voice as she picked up her brush again. "I've already lost a lot of light."
When he realized she was asking him to leave, Leo's heart dropped to the soles of his feet. "All right," he agreed, though leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.
"Don't be gloomy," she said, smiling as she swept the brush across the painting. "You can come back any time you want. You're always welcome."
Leo already knew this - she'd told him last night - but he was still reluctant to leave. He wanted to stay and talk some more. He wanted her to hold him in her arms. He wanted her to kiss him.
Instead, her eyes were focused on the canvas, plump lips pursed as she concentrated. Leo took another look around the tiny apartment and frowned. "Isn't there somewhere else you could stay?" he asked, before he could stop himself.
"What's wrong with this?" Arella wondered, not taking her eyes off the canvas.
It's beneath you, Leo wanted to say, but decided against it.
She glanced at him. "I don't mind Jim. He's a jerk, but he's a landlord. He can't help it."
She glanced at him again and smiled. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."
"Yeah, but..."
He still didn't think she should live in a place like this. But maybe, he thought with a sinking feeling, she really couldn't afford anything better. "You're not one of those starving artist types, are you?"
The brush stilled on the canvas, and the eyes that jerked to him were blazing. Leo flinched, but he didn't look away. "I'm an artist," Arella said coolly, "but I'm never starving."
She jabbed the brush across the canvas, then turned away and swirled it in a jar of water. "How could I ever starve when this world is practically bursting at the seams with food?"
Leo was tempted to point out that it didn't matter how much food you were surrounded with if you didn't have money to pay for it. But he could sense that he was treading in forbidden territory and let it drop. "I'll see you later," he murmured, reaching for the door.
Arella nodded absently and continued to clean her brush.
When he made it safely back outside, Leo was startled to see just how much time had passed. Most of the afternoon was gone, and even though it was still early, the October sun would be setting soon. It hadn't felt like he had been out that long. But when he was talking to Arella, it was like he stopped being aware of the passage of time.
It's strange, Leo mused as he started for home. But maybe it's normal.
Maybe everybody felt like this when they were falling in love.
They had only met yesterday, but what else could this burning ache inside him mean? He wanted to get lost in this feeling, to let her very presence consume him. He didn't just want, he needed to see her again, and as soon as possible.
At home, his brothers were sparring in their makeshift living room. Mikey glanced at him as he came in. "Where've you been all day, dude?" he wondered.
"Like you care," Leo muttered.
Mikey frowned, then yelped a second later as Raph's foot grazed his shoulder. "You need to concentrate, dude," Raph chided.
"Ooh, that's it," Mikey growled.
He dove and tried to tackle Raph; Raph dodged easily and flipped over the couch. He took off running and Mikey picked himself up and chased after.
Sitting in the nearby easy chair was Splinter. He had been reading a newspaper, but he set it aside as Leo walked by. "I was worried about you, my son."
"Why? I can take care of myself."
Leo was surprised with himself, and judging by the look that crossed his face, Splinter was too. He was never that short with his master. He was always the calm one, the respectful one. If he had been Raph, he would probably have been smacked with something and scolded; instead, Splinter looked puzzled, and a little hurt. "You were gone for many hours, and you were alone," he ventured, as if to explain his concern.
"I was training. I train better alone these days."
He headed to the car before Splinter could respond, closed the door and flopped onto his bed. He felt terrible. He had never lied to Splinter before. Exaggerated? Sure. Bent, stretched, and warped the truth? You bet. But outright lie right to his face...?
I had to, he reminded himself. Arella was his secret. His. And keeping her that way was more important than ever. He wanted to explore what was growing between them - something that was clearly more than friendship - and he couldn't do that with his brothers hovering around. And if Splinter knew, Leo had no doubt that he would disapprove completely.
He could just imagine how Splinter - not to mention his brothers - would react if he knew what had happened today.
Hey, guess what? he imagined himself saying. I kissed a girl. I kissed her and she kissed me back. It was incredible.
He didn't even want to think about how many flips he would end up having to do for that.
Splinter would probably tell him that what they were doing was wrong - that they were a different species and had no chance of ever having a normal life together. Leo knew that was probably true, but he didn't care. Arella was too special to just give up; somehow they would make it work.
But that was probably getting a little ahead of himself; they had only shared one kiss, after all. Leo sat up and tried to push his wandering thoughts from his mind. He tried to meditate, but all he could seem to picture was Arella's face.
Only he found he had trouble holding the image, just like this morning. Just when he thought he had it, it would slip away from him. It was strange, and it made him ache to see her again, to hold her face in his hands and gaze at it with his own eyes.
He probably wouldn't get away with sneaking out again tonight, so he kept to himself for the rest of the evening. It wasn't like he was invited to join in whatever his brothers were doing.
As he listened to them, talking and laughing as they watched the evening news, he thought back to what he and Arella had talked about earlier that day. She was right - they didn't appreciate him, at least not the way he deserved. Out of everyone, he had worked the hardest and sacrificed the most around here.
He was the one who kept Mikey out of trouble when he got too curious for his own good. He was the one who fought to keep Raph under control when his temper flared. He would have liked to say that at least he didn't have to worry about Don, but he had been acting weird lately, too.
And why was all this his responsibility anyway? It wasn't like he had ever asked to be leader. Splinter had chosen him because he was the most level-headed, the most centered, the most reliable. Didn't that warrant a little more respect?
The more he thought about it, the angrier he grew. A small part of him spoke up, telling him that he could probably make all these unpleasant feelings go away if he just talked to his brothers, but he ignored it. He had always been the rational one. It was time to be irrational for a change.
"Aw," Mikey suddenly cooed, "they announced April and Casey's wedding, with little silver ribbons and bells and everything."
"Swell," said Raph. "Can we watch wrestling now?"
"Uh, no. I just ate, so I'd rather not watch a bunch of grown men in skin-tight panties groping each other."
"Dufus. I only watch the girls."
"Oh. That's different, then."
"I've got a better idea," said Don. "Let's go pay the happy couple a visit."
Good, thought Leo. He wanted them to leave so he could be alone to think.
Which was the exact opposite of what he had been wanting lately, but he was mad at his brothers right now. He wasn't ready to make up with them just yet.
Mikey came to one of the windows and stuck his head in. "Hey, Leo," he said, "we're heading to April's to see if they need any help picking out decorations or something."
Behind him, Raph snorted. "That's sissy stuff," he muttered.
"Hear that? Raph just volunteered to pick out the floral arrangements."
"Now that I'm not going to ignore."
Before Mikey could react, Raph had pulled him into a headlock and dragged him away from the window.
"No thanks," Leo called. "I'm going to stay here and meditate."
They left, arguing playfully the entire time. But when they were gone and silence fell, Leo felt restless. He didn't want to be with his brothers, but he didn't want to be alone, either. He wanted to be with Arella.
He debated internally for a while, then quietly slipped out and tiptoed to Splinter's room. His sensei was seated quietly on a cushion, a book in his hands.
"I changed my mind," Leo said when Splinter looked up at him. "I think I'll go with after all."
Splinter was quiet for a moment, and Leo tried not to squirm under his probing gaze. "Are you all right, my son?" he asked softly.
"Fine," Leo said, not looking him in the eye. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately."
"If you ever want to talk about it..."
"I'm fine," Leo repeated. "But when I need to talk you're always the first one I go to."
Another lie. The first one he wanted to talk to now was Arella. He turned and hurried out of the den before Splinter could say anything else.
When he reached the grate that led up into the alley beside the movie theater, someone was walking overhead. They belched loudly and reeked of beer, so it was probably Jim the landlord. Either that or any of Arella's neighbors.
When all was quiet, Leo pushed the grate aside and climbed up onto the street. He almost fell back down again in surprise; someone was standing near the Dumpster at the side of the next building. Her back was turned, but enough light shown from a nearby dingy streetlamp to set her curls ablaze.
Leo let out a sigh of relief. "You're awfully quiet. I didn't hear you there."
Or sense her in the least. But as Arella turned to face him, she looked as though she had known he was coming.
Only to his disappointment, she wasn't smiling. She almost looked unhappy to see him. "It's not a good time," she said. "My apartment is kind of a mess right now."
Leo tried to mask his intense disappointment. "That's okay. I bet those paints are a pain to clean up."
Arella studied him for a moment, her eyes glittering like green jewels. She glanced up in the direction of her apartment for a second. "You know what? It can keep."
Smiling now, she reached to take his hand; Leo's heart soared at the contact. Her touch felt a little different; her grip was strong and firm, and her palm radiated warmth.
"Come on," she coaxed. "I know a place where we can go."
Leo felt himself beam as he gazed into the endless green ocean of her eyes. "I'd follow you anywhere."