Chapter 8: A Failed Attempt Part 2

Sam double checked what he needed. He had researched everything till he was nearly blue in the face. He had piles of notes that he had gathered not to mention what his mate had on the subject. He'd been researching this for the past week and a half. Tonight was finally going to be the night. It was time he was going to see if his husband was still around. He picked tonight because it was the first time in a long time that everyone was together in the bunker again.

Sam checked his laptop which was connected to his phone. Once he started the timer he'd have five minutes. He'd wait until the last possible minute before he'd hit the space bar. One he did the timer would start counting down. Once five minutes were up his phone, which was connected to his laptop, would send out a mass text message to everyone telling them exactly what he did.

Making sure that his laptop was plugged in along with his phone he double checked what he had. He wasn't sure how much adrenaline would be needed to bring him back so he'd brought the whole bottle and a sterile needle for it as well. He had the exact dose of what he was taking written out in bold letters on the sticky note next to the adrenaline and the defibrillator. He didn't know if they'd actually need the defib machine but it never hurt to be too prepared for anything.

Taking a deep breath Sam grabbed the second bottle that was on the table. Just to be safe he check Gabriel's notes one more time before doing anything. It hadn't taken him long to find drug he was looking for locked away in his husband's things. It was just a matter of finding which locked cabinet contained what he was looking for. Gabriel never labeled where anything went in his lab, he just grouped things together and seemed to memorize where everything was. Like the drug he had been looking for was with a bunch of other heart related drugs that were hidden away near the back of the lab.

Grabbing the second needle he had, Sam filled the syringe with the diltiazem. It was a a drug designed to slow the heart. He was going to give himself a double dose. The double dose would stop his heart. He knew that it wouldn't take long for the medication to take effect with the dose he was going to be giving himself. That was why he had the computer set up the way it was; one simple press of a button and his plan would be set into motion.

Deciding the best thing to do for this was to lay down, he moved his laptop to the table next to his bed. He double checked everything one final time. His phone and laptop were set. The timer was up and ready to start. He had the counter medication. Laying down on the bed Sam gripped the needle tight. Taking a deep breath Sam glanced at the picture of Gabriel on the table; the whole reason he was doing this. Without another thought he found a vein and quickly slid the needle in. He pressed the plunger and dispensed the contents and pulled the metal from his arm; he didn't want to give himself time to second guess what he was doing.

The effect was immediate. He began to feel strange, his chest felt tight and his breathing began to slow. Sam glanced over at his laptop and to his dismay the display began to blur. Not knowing how much time he had left, he hit the space bar on his computer. He was just in time too because his vision began to darken and then he blinked and found himself staring at his own body. Sam glanced around, surprised that it actually worked before remembering why he did this.

"GABRIEL!" Sam yelled, before he began running through the halls, looking for his mate. "GABRIEL ANSWER ME!"

After a few moments of panic he figured that it would be safe bet to check Lucifer's room since the two had been so close. He lucked out however but did find out, much to his horror, just how flexible Michael really was in bed. He left the room almost as soon as he entered it. Pausing he thought, trying to figure out exactly where the youngest archangel could be. It hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Raphael..."

Of course. He had first seen the signs in the Third Born. Raphael staring at nothing, talking to himself, it all made sense. The archangel must have known that Gabriel was still around. Perhaps...Maybe the dark skinned angel had known all along. He even said it! He'd hinted at it several times that maybe the blonde was still around. Dean even pointed out that Raphael was searching spells to bring Gabriel back. Hell, Lucifer himself was casting spells looking for the angel! If anyone was bound to know anything it had to be Raphael.

Turning he rushed down the hall. He had to get to Raphael's room! He didn't even know how much time he had left! He rushed down the stairs and towards the room the Raphael had first picked. He rushed in through the door and stopped dead. There in all his glory, was his husband, watching as Raphael read over something in a book.

"Gabriel..." Sam breathed out.

Gabriel's head whipped up, his gold eyes wide. "Sam?"

Sam barely registered that Raphael's head shot up as well, but the only thing that really registered was his husband, who was standing there looking just as he had before Xaphanel had gotten his claws into him. "Gabriel. I knew it. I knew you had to still be here. I knew you weren't gone."

Gabriel rushed forward grabbing Sam and pulling him close. "No! Sam what the fuck did you do? Are you insane?!"

Sam fell to his knees, holding his husband close; he had been waiting for this for six long months and now that it was finally here it all seemed like a dream. "I've missed you so much Gabe. I did what I had to do! I had to see you! I had to know for certain! I knew you couldn't be dead! I knew it!"

Gabriel began raining kisses all along his mate's face. "You stupid fool! You killed yourself just for another chance to see me? I can't believe you!"

"I didn't kill myself. Not really. I promise." Sam said, before returning the kisses. "I used your medicine and your notes. I even tripled checked. I wouldn't risk myself. Not when I can get you back."

"You reckless fool! You are so lucky I love you, you idiot." Gabriel said. "You have no idea how bad it hurts that I'm able to see and hear you and you don't even know that I'm there."

"I feel the same pain Gabe. It's worse for me thought because I can't even see or hear you." Sam whispered. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you. It feels like you've been gone forever."

"I've been here this whole time Sam. I kept my promise. I haven't left you and I'm not going to leave you." Gabriel said, pulling back to stare at his mate.

"I'm sorry I gave up on you Gabe. I knew we shouldn't have taken you off the life support." Sam said, taking in the sight of his mate. "I knew it was a mistake but I was so upset that I couldn't make the call. Michael made it and-"

"I know Sam. I know everything. Raphael explained everything. He told everything that happened after I succumbed to the internal bleeding. Believe me. I know you would never let me go without a fight. I think this stupid idea you had proves it!" Gabriel said kissing him once more. "You should never have done this Sam."

Sam shook his head. "I'd do it again as long as it means seeing you Gabriel. I love you. I love you and I can't lose you. I'm not ready to give you up."

Those gold eyes turned soft and Gabriel couldn't help but smile at his mate. "You're not going to lose me Sam. I promise. Lucifer and Raphael are working on trying to find a way to bring me back for you. They're making me a vessel right now. We're trying to find a way to get me back into the vessel so I can get back to you."

Sam clung to his mate. "What can I do to help? Please Gabe. I want to do what I can to help. Please don't shut me out."

The blonde let his husband cling to him; he didn't know how much time they would have. "I won't shut you out Sam. I'd never shut you out. I love you too much."

Sam let out a broken sob and buried his face in Gabriel's shirt.

"Gabriel? What's going on?" Raphael asked, coming over and seeing the odd sight of his younger brother holding onto nothing.

"Sam is here Raph. He did something stupid. He used my lab to get something to cross over. You need to go let everyone know Raph." Gabriel said softly.

"NO!" Sam shouted, pulling back. "I have it taken care of. There is a timer set to send out a message explaining everything. Please don't take this time from me Gabe. I don't want to leave you yet. I can't leave you. Not when I've waited this long to see you again."

"It's okay Sam. I promise I won't take this from you. I just need to make sure you don't actually die okay?" Gabriel said before muttering something in Enochian to Raphael, who disappeared. "I just need to make sure your body is safe. The last thing I want is for you to actually die and then end up stuck like me or worse."

"What could be worse? I'd be with you. Nothing would make me happier Gabe." The hunter said, his eyes filled with tears. "If I didn't want this then I never would have done it."

"I know Sam but you aren't like me. I'm trapped between two places right now and we don't know why." Gabriel explained, trying to calm his frantic mate. "If your body dies and a Reaper doesn't claim your soul then you'll become an angry, vengeful spirit. I don't want that to happen because then I'll lose you for good."

The hunter nodded his acceptance. He was a hunter and he should have known better. He had laid countless spirits to rest doing his job and the last thing he wanted was to become one. Sam took a moment to calm himself before looking back up at Gabriel. The angel was watching him with a smile. Sam leaned up and kissed him once more, savoring the sweet flavor of his angel that he missed so much. When he pulled back Gabriel's smile had grown but then it turned sad.

"I'm sorry I put you through this Sam." Gabriel said softly. "This was never my intention. It seems like I broke the promise I made."

"What promise?" Sam asked, a bit confused. "You've never made me a promise."

The archangel shook his head. "It wasn't a promise I made to you. It was a promise I made to myself. I promised never to hurt you again. It seems like I've gone and done it anyway. So I'm sorry that I hurt you and made you cry."

The human shook his head. "I don't blame you. I don't even blame Raphael. I blame Xaphanel. He's the reason you d-d-died."

"He might be the reason my physical form died but he's not the reason I'm trapped." Gabriel said. "Once Lucifer and Raphael finish building my new vessel I should be right as rain. It won't be too much longer now."

"I need you now though." Sam begged. "I can't do this without you Gabriel. I'm trying but I just wake up everyday and you aren't here and nothing seems to matter anymore. I feel like the color and laughter in my world left when you did. I want you back in my life."

"Sam, trust me when I say that we are working on it. I want nothing more then to be back at your side where I belong." Gabriel said. "I miss you."

Sam curled into Gabriel's chest. "I miss you too. Are Raphael and Lucifer the only ones that know you're here?"

Gabriel nodded. "Yeah. As far as I know. Raphael has seen me since the plug was pulled. Lucifer only figured it out a few weeks ago."

"Why didn't they tell me?" The human asked. "Did they not think I could handle it?"

"Raphael was too afraid to say anything. He thought everyone would think he was crazy. Once Lucifer found out I asked him not to say anything." The blonde explained.

Sam stiffened. "Why didn't you want him to tell me you were still here? Don't you think I deserve to know? Or did you not think I think I could handle it?"

The archangel let out a chuckle and his hand went into those long, brown locks he loved so much. "It wasn't that at all Sam. I know that you deserve to know. I know you could have handled it. Sam the only reason that I told Lucifer not to say anything was because I did want you to suffer anymore."

The hunter blinked. "You didn't want me to suffer? I don't understand."

Gabriel sighed and kissed his mate. "I've already put you through hell Sam. First with our strenuous relationship at the beginning, then our break up, not to mention my drug addiction. Add in to that the whole thing with us trying to repair our relationship along with Xaphanel hunting me, me losing my kids, followed by the time spent with him and having you see everything he did to me, along with my death. You were there for all of that Sam. Believe me when I say I didn't want you to suffer anymore."

"How would me knowing you were alive make me suffer?" Sam asked in disbelief. "If anything I think knowing your are here wouldn't have given me hope."

"And if I can't be brought back?" Gabriel asked softly.

Sam sat up straighter. "What do you mean? Of course we can bring you back Gabe. You said yourself that Lucifer and Raphael were working on it."

"Yes they are but like I said, I'm trapped. I can't get into another body. Believe me I have tried. My brothers are making me a vessel like I had before but there is no guarantee that I'll be able to enter it." Gabriel revealed. "I really am trapped. I'm not dead but I'm not alive either. Just stuck somewhere in between the two."

"We'll find a way. We'll find a way to get you out. To bring you home. Dean and I can summon a Reaper or even summon Death. I'm not giving up on us Gabe. I can't." Sam said. "I've lost you twice already and I'm not going to lose you again. Not this time."

The archangel chuckled. "Ever my knight in a shining black Impala huh? Riding in to save the day for me? What would I do without you Sam?"

"You'd have found someone else to who you could torment." The hunter said with a smile.

"You and I both know that you're my favorite target." Gabriel said softly. "My favorite target, my favorite lover, my favorite human, my favorite person who let's me lick melted chocolate off his-"

Sam kissed the angel hard, effectively silencing him. "Gabe you talk to much sometimes."

"Don't be a spoil sport Sam. It's not like anyone can hear us anyway." Gabriel said, his face lighting up with a blinding smile.

"Didn't you say that Raphael can hear you?" The hunter asked flatly, a glare decorating his face.

The blonde flushed. "Yeah I did but he isn't here right now. He's making sure nothing goes wrong with your body. Like I said I don't want to take any chances with you. I love you too much to lose you. Angels never take losing mates well. We either barely hang on or we die. Most of us choose death over living without the person who completes us. Michael and Balthazar or two of the rare few who have actually survived losing a mate. Michael's even rarer because he lost both a mate and child at the same time and still got past it."

"I know. He told me. He also gave me his gun that you made him. I love it. It's beautiful." The hunter said softly.

"It's about time he did something with it." Gabriel said. "I'm glad he gave it to you."

"I might have to keep fighting Dean over it. He fell right in love with it." The human revealed. "I didn't think I was going to get it back when I first showed it to him."

"I guess I know what I'll be making Dean-o for his birthday then if I can come back." Gabriel said with a smile.

Sam shook his head. "When you come back you mean. I will get you back."

Gabriel smiled and kissed him once more. Sam kissed him back then let out a sharp cry. He felt strange, as if something were pulling on him. He clutched at his chest in fear, his green eyes seeking Gabriel's gold. Gabriel was watching him with both a smile and tears, even as the angel held on tight to him, as if afraid to let go.

"Gabe?" Sam asked shakily, unsure as to what was happening and it was beginning to sccare him. "What's happening? Why is my chest hurting?"

"Time's up Sam." Gabriel said brokenly. "What you feel is someone trying to revive your body. You have to go back to your body or else you'll die. I know it hurts and I know it's a bit scary but please just let it happen. Don't fight it. Everything will be okay. I promise."

Sam grit his teeth against the pain; willing himself to hang on just a few moments longer with his husband. "I will bring you back Gabe! I will! I swear it! I won't stop trying until we're together again! I won't lose you again!"

Gabriel nodded, his tears coming faster. "I know you won't Sam. I know you'll do everything you can for me. You won't stop until I'm back with you."

Sam leaned up and grabbed Gabriel and pulled him close kissing him once more. Gabriel fell against Sam, savoring the feeling of being close to his mate once more. There was a strange tingling sensation all along where they were touching and then Gabriel fond himself laying on the floor alone, his body still tingling from where him and Sam had been touching. Gabriel tried to be strong, to get up and go upstairs to where they were no doubt reviving his mate but he couldn't do it. Instead all he could do was curl up and cry having been ripped away from his mate once more.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"GABRIEL!" Sam screamed his body jolting up as he reached for his husband once more.

Hands grabbed him and gently pushing him down on the bed once more. "Easy Sam. Easy okay? Your body has just been put through hell. You need to rest okay?"

Sam looked around and found that everyone was in his room. Raphael was next to the head of his bed on one side while Suriel was on the other checking him over. Dean was next to Raphael and Castiel was, as always, at his side. Lucifer, Michael and Crowley were on the other side of his bed, looking on with relief and Chuck was at the foot of his bed looking at him.

"What the hell Sammy?" Dean asked. "I knew you missed him but this is-"

"I found him." Sam said. "I crossed over and found Gabriel."

Dean blinked. "Sammy look I know you miss him but-"

"I'm not crazy Dean! I can prove it! Raphael and Lucifer have seen Gabriel too! He's still here and he's trapped! He's not dead but he isn't alive either. I need to save him Dean." Sam said. "Please believe me."

Dean turned to look at Raphael. "Is he telling the truth? Have you seen Gabriel?"

Raphael turned to look at Dean. "Why do you think I was already in here when you showed up? Gabriel told me what Sam did and sent me to watch over him."

"I can prove it." Lucifer said. "I can summon Gabriel."

Dean glared at the Second Born for a minute before nodding. "Do it. I want to see him. And call those two that were here before Chuck. The ones that brought Raphael back. They might be able to find a way to get him unstuck with that book."