Someone was breathing. Shallow and uneven, like they were trying not to cry.
"She'll be okay," I heard a soothing voice say. Then, "Come on, it's late. Let's get you back to the Tower."
I recognized that voice, the soothing one, as James's which meant the uneven breathing belonged to Lily.
"You coming Pads? Moony?"
I heard a scrape of a chair and footsteps but also Sirius's voice, "No, I think I'll stay here for a bit," and then Remus's, "She'll be okay."
Sirius didn't say anything and I could almost imagine James laying a comforting hand on his shoulder for a few seconds before there was a scrape of a chair and three sets of footsteps echoing away.
A few beats, then he picked up one of her sweaty palms, folding it in her own.
"Why aren't you waking up Arty?" He sighed, then reached up, trailing his fingers over my face, "What have I done to you. The book said you should have woken up days ago. Madam Pomphrey says you're completely fine but you don't hear me or see me or move, like you're in a really deep sleep or petrified. But I think she's wrong- I think you can hear me. So why don't you wake up?
" I feel so bad because this is all my fault isn't it. Because I tried to set my friends up only to lose another one."
It felt so strange, almost like flying through complete darkness. Hearing Sirius's words felt like they came from over a great distance, beyond the horizon so I could just make out his words but not see his face.
"If this was a Muggle fairy tale all I'd have to do would be kiss you and you'd wake up and we'd soar off into the sunset of my bike. Happy Ever After. The End. But life isn't like that is it? The bike would crash and you'd be sick because of your vertigo and there's always what happens after the 'The End'. No-one seems to think about that bit do they?"
"You-Know-Who's in the Daily Prophet every day now. Muggles being tortured, whole families just disappearing, inferi attacks. It makes me feel so shallow, here, just worrying about schoolwork and friends and homework but the truth is I'm scared. I'm scared someone I care about is going to be next to disappear, I'm scared for my stupid brother and I'm scared I'm going to lose you through my own stupidity."
He tucked a stray strand of my hair behind one ear, "I've never seen you close up with your hair down, it's so long isn't it. You know for a total tomboy I figured you'd have really short hair. I mean, doesn't it get caught round stuff?"
Yes you idiot, I thought, you tied it around a chair in class didn't you?
" I love you Arty. It's crazy isn't it? I don't even want to sleep with you. That's a good thing by the way," He added quickly, "I mean not yet. I know we fight the whole time and I am probably incapable of having kids now but...I guess you don't know what you have until you lose it."
I tried to move my fingers, to touch his lips but it felt like my fingers were held by the Petrificus Totalus charm. He dropped my fingers onto the bed and I waited for the scrape of chair legs to mark his departure that didn't come.
"It was pointless you know, all this. James still hasn't got up the nerve to ask Lily out. I left them together like five times and all he managed was, and I quote: "Arrrggghhh!" before changing the subject." He laughed, "He's been acting so weird for him, more weird than normal I mean, he never used to have a problem, Merlin knows he's had enough practise."
From the other side of the room I could hear movement and the scraping of what I assumed was the Matron closing the curtains.
Sirius bent down and I felt his lips on mine for a few fleeting seconds. Then, "I'll be back tomorrow okay?"
He paused and I could almost feel his pitiable hope that I might actually answer.
I tried, I really did, but my lips refused to move and then he was gone.