Shepard awoke in a bed in the med bay, a dull headache throbbing behind her eyes, but otherwise none the worse for the wear. Her injuries had been patched up by Dr. Chakwas, her armor removed and likely stowed back in her cabin, though she still wore the ripped clothing she'd been in on Therum.
She sat up and rubbed her forehead. It had been stupid of her to keep carrying the krogan. She should have let Garrus help her back to the ship and left Wrex for Kaidan and Ash to handle, but sometimes she just couldn't let things go. Something had gotten into her as she lugged the massive krogan through the cave and she couldn't give up until she'd completed her task. It had been her responsibility to make sure everyone got back to the ship, she didn't want to put that burden in someone else's hands, even for a minute.
She still wasn't sure how she'd gotten Wrex as far as she did before Garrus stepped in to help; pure adrenaline, she guessed.
"Commander, you're awake," Dr. Chakwas stood up from her desk and rushed over to Shepard's side.
"How long was I out?"
"Just a few hours. You over-exerted yourself," the doctor brought up her omni-tool and began scanning Shepard. "Your vitals look good. How do you feel?"
"I've got a headache, but I'm fine otherwise."
"Forgive the insubordination, commander, but I suggest that next time you have to carry an unconscious krogan through an earthquake, you take any help you can get."
"How is Wrex?" Shepard asked, scanning the room for his presence.
"He's fine. He didn't even suffer a concussion. We stitched his head up and he's resting now. There weren't any beds large enough for him up here and it would have been too difficult to move him, so he's down in the cargo bay."
"Thanks, doc." Shepard gave a fleeting smile. She stood up and spoke into her omni-tool. "Joker, rally the troops in the comm room. Everyone who was with me on Therum."
"Man, not even a krogan and an earthquake can keep you down, huh, commander?" Joker replied.
"It'll take a lot more than that," she laughed.
"I'll send out the message."
"Thanks, Joker."
"You're sure you're all right?" Dr. Chakwas asked as Shepard headed for the door.
"I'm all right. Thanks for patching me up."
She left the med bay to find the small table at the center of the crew quarters crowded with officers. Kaidan and Ash were at the center of the group, regaling the crew with the story of their fight with the geth at the Alliance compound, and the escape from the collapsing Prothean ruins. The officers listened in with rapt attention. Kaidan, the straight-laced lieutenant that he was, kept fairly true to what had happened, but Ash was taking some liberties with the story. Nothing untrue necessarily, just a bit of a dramatization. She had a penchant for story-telling though; even Shepard found herself stopping to listen in, and she had been there.
"So then the krogan and geth rushed us and Garrus, man he took one out before it could even move, BLAM, right in the chest and it exploded in a million pieces. The shrapnel caught the krogan…"
"Sounds like the aliens are growing on you, Williams," one of the officers said.
Ash, who Shepard had noticed was somewhat tense around the aliens, especially Garrus, slammed her fist on the table. "HEY. The turian and the quarian are the only reason Commander Shepard and Kaidan didn't get destroyed by the geth in that compound. I'm not sure about turians, but Garrus is a damn good shot. He earned my respect on Therum and he deserves yours too."
A few of the officers muttered something, and that's when Shepard stepped in.
"Kaidan, Ash, come with me. We're meeting in the com room to discuss the mission."
"Commander, we didn't see you there." The officers stood at attention.
Shepard rolled her eyes. "At ease. Come on," she motioned for the lieutenant and the gunnery chief to follow her.
"Uh, how long were you standing there, commander?" Ash asked.
"Long enough," Shepard grinned. "I'm glad to see you're warming up to the aliens."
"I don't know," Ash shrugged. "They fight better than half the Alliance officers I've worked with. That's all that really matters, that they can fight well alongside us."
They stopped at the top of the stairs, just before the door to the command control center. Shepard looked at Ash, but Ash averted her eyes. There was something she was missing. She didn't think Ash was xenophobic, she'd never said anything overtly cruel or reductive about any of the aliens, but she thought there must be a reason for her hesitance to trust them fully.
"I heard what you said about Garrus, but you don't trust turians. Is it because of the First Contact war?"
Ash shifted uncomfortably. "My grandfather was the general who surrendered to the turians at Shanxi. It's…a shadow over my family. Members of this family have to work twice as hard to get half as far in the Alliance because of that surrender. And the turians…" she clenched her fist. "I guess some of my issue is with the Council too. They do nothing for humanity. They turn their backs on us at every step…I'm surprised they didn't side with the turians after the war."
Shepard squeezed Ash's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me. I understand where you're coming from. But you're not your grandfather and you've proven to me that you're a capable officer, one I'm proud to have on my team. I hope that the aliens on board can prove to you that they aren't their grandfathers either. They all have individual personalities and interests. Hell, Wrex wants to be a biotic! I'm not worried about your ability to work alongside them, but I think if you give them a chance, you could be friends with them too. God knows we could all use friendship at a time like this."
Ash smiled and nodded, "Thanks for understanding commander. I…maybe I could talk to Garrus about shooting technique. His rifle is really state of the art and I know he calibrates the upgrades on it himself…"
"You should do that. I'm sure Garrus would love to discuss it with you. Now come on, let's get to that meeting."
They headed into the command control center and toward the comm room. Ash moved ahead and Kaidan hung back next to Shepard.
"You're amazing, Shepard," he said softly. "I'm sorry…commander."
Shepard waved her hand dismissively, "Please. You don't need to call me commander all the time. It's exhausting. And we've known each other too long for that." She didn't address the praise, hoping to avoid it altogether so she wouldn't withdraw into her awkward deflective state as she tended to under threat of compliments.
"Well, I just think you handled that situation with Ash really well. You were forward with her, you addressed the problem, but you also took the time to figure out what the problem was. Some commanders would have just told her to shape up and learn to deal with the situation."
"That's not my style," Shepard shrugged. "You can't have a cohesive battle unit if you don't take the time to get to know your crew and who they are as people."
She looked at Kaidan and their eyes locked for a moment; those big stupid 'love me' puppy-dog eyes. For a second she thought she saw it, what Garrus had noted before. Some sort of attraction, more than just admiration in his gaze. She looked away quickly to avoid it.
Kaidan was a handsome man, his physical appearance and his personality: a strong and capable biotic with a tender and emotional viewpoint on life. She trusted him a great deal and had been taking him on missions with her since she'd been promoted to commander. By all accounts she should feel the attraction toward him that he might be feeling toward her, but she didn't. It wasn't just rules against Alliance fraternization either: troops skirted around those rules all the time. She'd even slept with fellow officers before in the past. There was just something missing. Part of her felt like she should discuss it with him, but a greater part of her wanted to pretend it wasn't happening.
She pushed ahead of Kaidan into the com room to find Tali and Garrus had already arrived. They were just waiting on Liara now.
"Shepard, I'm surprised you're already awake," Garrus said.
"What? It was only a thousand pound krogan and an earthquake. Is that a lot for a turian?" She asked with a grin.
Garrus laughed. "Stupid of me to assume anything less than a meteor crashing directly into you would keep you down."
"Based on the display on Therum, I'm not convinced even that would stop her," Tali chimed in.
"Speaking of bull-headed battle machines," Garrus said, "Wrex is coming up. He woke up a few minutes ago and when he heard Joker calling us to meet he said he would be there. We told him he could rest, but as you can imagine it's difficult to talk a krogan out of anything."
Shepard shook her head, but she couldn't complain. She understood the krogan's inability to sit still. She probably should have just showered and gone to lay down in her cabin, but she wouldn't have been content doing that.
The door to the comm room opened and Liara walked in, flanked by Wrex. He had a new scar across his forehead, but otherwise looked no worse for the wear. Considering the number of scars already running across his face and neck, it was hardly noticeable.
Wrex hunkered over to the seat next to Garrus and plopped down.
"Shepard," he rumbled. "Thanks for carrying my ass out of that cave. Better not spread it around that a human and a turian had to save me. Other krogan would think I was weak."
"I'll make sure not to tell any krogan I meet," Shepard said. "How about you Liara? Are you okay?"
Liara sat down unsurely next to Kaidan. "I am a little tired, but I wanted to be here for the meeting."
"When's the last time you ate or slept?" Kaidan asked.
"Dr. Chakwas provided me with some food, but I admit it's been some time since I last slept. Perhaps I'll go lie down when we're done talking here."
Shepard leaned against the railing dividing the room from the hologram display where calls were made. She folded her arms over her chest.
"Well, now that you're all here, I just wanted to debrief about Therum and talk about our next move. Liara, the rogue Spectre, Saren, is after something called the conduit. You know a lot about Prothean technology. Do you know what it could be?"
Liara shook her head. "I've heard of it before. I believe it may have something to do with the mass disappearance of the Protheans. I've been studying them for the past fifty years, but I've learned remarkably little in that time. And my youth means that few other asari scholars will take my theories seriously."
"Youth?" Ash laughed. "How old are you?"
"I may seem young to a species as short-lived as humans," Liara spoke softly, "but I'm only 106. That's barely an adult by asari standards. Regardless, as I said, I've spent fifty years studying the Protheans. We all know they were wiped out 50,000 years ago, but the interesting thing is I believe there were other civilizations before them who met the same fate. No one will take me seriously, but…there seems to be some evidence that these cultures rise up, build their civilization on the feats of those before them, then simply…disappear."
Shepard thought of the image seared into her brain by the Prothean beacon. Horrible machines ripping through space annihilating everything in their path, whole planets decimated. She closed her eyes and sighed. The thought of those images still sent chills down her spine. She knew, deep in her gut, that the images showed what had happened to the Protheans.
"I have some theories about the Prothean extinction," she said simply.
"With all due respect, commander, I've heard every theory there is, but I'm not any closer to understanding the truth. You said you encountered a live Prothean beacon," Liara seemed to suddenly remember, "What happened when you touched it?"
"It burned an image into my brain: reapers came and destroyed everything. I don't understand all of it still, but I know that much. These...sentient machines…obliterated the Protheans."
Liara's eyes lit up, despite the grim nature of Shepard's tale. "Amazing. Yes, the Prothean beacon technology was built to transmit information through images. But it's incredible that you survived it, even more so that you could make sense of anything in its data. A lesser mind would have been destroyed by such an encounter. You must be incredibly strong-willed, commander."
Garrus made a snorting noise. "You did see her carrying Wrex on Therum, didn't you? I'm not sure strong-willed is a strong enough adjective."
Shepard ignored him and turned to the asari. "Liara, would you be willing to stay on board with us? You may have to fight, I can't promise you won't, but I think your knowledge of the Protheans could really help us in solving this puzzle of what the conduit is and why Saren is after it."
Liara smiled and it made her entire face light up, "I could think of no safer place than on board your ship. I'm sure if my mother is working with Saren and he's interested in the Protheans, then they'll continue to try and find me. The geth on Therum…I fear they were my fault. I know that some of the Alliance officers there died because of that…"
"Don't blame yourself for Saren's evil," Shepard said sharply. "You didn't send those geth there. You couldn't have known. If you want to respect the memory of those dead soldiers, fight with us and help us stop Saren."
"I would gladly do so," Liara nodded.
"Her biotics will be a real asset," Wrex said. He turned to face Liara, "You worked well with Kaidan. That kind of teamwork could make or break us on the field."
"Wrex has a special interest in biotics," Shepard explained.
Wrex huffed, and if Shepard didn't know better, she might have thought he was even embarrassed by her mentioning this. Liara smiled congenially.
"I would be happy to discuss biotics with you, Wrex. I'm afraid I haven't had much interaction with krogan, or humans…or quarians. Turians, I am more familiar with," she gave Garrus a fleeting glance. Shepard couldn't quite detect if there was some secondary meaning to the sentence, but she wasn't going to probe.
"Well, you'll get to know all of them on board the Normandy," she assured the asari.
"It will be good to learn about other cultures. I spend so much time amongst Prothean books and dig sites, I've almost forgotten there are extant cultures to interact with," she rubbed her temple. "If it's all right, I think I'll go lay down now, commander. I'm beginning to feel very exhausted."
"Go right ahead. And please, just call me Shepard."
Liara stood up, "Thank you…Shepard. Dr. Chakwas has made a bed up for me in the office behind the med bay. I'll be there if you need me at all."
Once Liara had left, Shepard turned to the rest of the crew.
"I'd like to return to the citadel before we head for the next planet. We need to pick up a better stock of dextro foods, I'd like to upgrade the Normandy's shields, and maybe visit the Presidium museum with Liara to see if we can dig up anything on the conduit. They have some old Prothean archives she might be able to make sense of. Then I suggest we head to Noveria. There's a research base there and if the geth have been sighted, it's only a matter of time before it comes to blows. Any thoughts or objections?"
"Will returning to the Citadel put us too out of the way?" Ash asked.
"It's another three days to get back, then we'll need to spend a few days minimum on the Citadel while the shields are being upgraded, then two days to Noveria. It puts us at over a week out, but I think the stop will be necessary. We don't know what we're getting into once we get out into the traverse."
"I like the plan," Kaidan said, "We need to gather more intel before we strike. If we run into Saren on Noveria, we have to be prepared. The more we can learn, the better. Besides, all this fighting the geth has made me realize we could probably use some armor upgrades as well. With your permission, comman…Shepard, I can pick those upgrades up when we arrive."
"You have my permission," Shepard nodded. "We'll head back, but then I can't promise when the next time we'll visit the Citadel will be. Feros is across the galaxy and three relay jumps from the Citadel. If we're well provisioned, I'd rather head forward than to go back again after this. It will be one less relay jump if we head straight from Noveria to Feros. Barring any disruption or necessity to return after Noveria."
"It's a good plan," Tali spoke up. "I've been talking with Engineer Adams. Perhaps we could pick up some tools to help with the upgrade to the drive core that he's been wanting. It would be much cheaper to do ourselves than paying to have it upgraded and the ship will run smoother."
"Sounds like everyone's really pulling their weight," Shepard smiled. "All right. If everyone agrees, I'll talk to Joker and Pressly and we'll set a course for the Citadel. Dismissed!"
The group of them piled from the room, all except Garrus, who hung back, hovering near the doorway.
"Something you wanted to discuss, Garrus?"
The turian hesitated a moment, mandibles twitching. "It can wait," he decided. "Can you meet me up on the observation deck after you talk to Joker and navigator Pressly?"
She wondered what it was he wanted to discuss, but was glad it could wait until their course had been mapped out. "Sure, I'll see you in a few."
Garrus sat on the couch closest to the window on the observation deck, waiting for Shepard to finish her meeting. He felt bad asking to meet with her; she needed rest after Therum. She hadn't even had time to change out of the filthy tattered clothes she'd been wearing during the mission, and it was nothing pressing. He supposed she would have put him off she didn't have the time.
The Normandy was moving slowly, it hadn't even made the jump to FTL yet, awaiting orders on the next route to take. Garrus liked Shepard's plan. They had left the Citadel in a hurry before, eager to get any information they could on Saren's whereabouts, and feeling somewhat rushed by Udina and the council as well. They would need to return to get their full bearings, gather supplies, upgrades, and information, and then make a logical course across the galaxy to Noveria and then Feros. Now that they had Liara to help, things might go more smoothly as well.
He hadn't been sure about the asari at first, but she'd proven herself in the fight against the krogan and the geth. He'd imagined when they found her that they'd be taking her as a prisoner to keep her from assisting her mother. He was glad it hadn't turned out that way.
There was no saying how much time passed while Garrus sat staring out the window at the distant stars dotting the sky. He found it was easy to lose himself in that view. When he wasn't calibrating the mako, the observation deck was the most peaceful place he could find: rarely occupied, dimly lit, and very calming.
The sound of footsteps alerted him to Shepard's arrival. He turned to find her approaching from the ladder, dressed in her civilian clothing, a plain grey tank-top and loose black pants, her military dog-tags hanging from a chain around her neck. It occurred to him that he hadn't seen her outside of her armor or fatigues since they'd begun their journey, she was always doing something that necessitated one or the other. She looked different, somehow. Perhaps because the civilian clothes were slightly more form-fitting than her fatigues. She seemed smaller, maybe.
She had showered, and looked a little better than she had during the meeting in the comm room, though she still seemed tired. She took a seat next to Garrus and propped her feet up the windowsill.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked.
"I wanted to discuss Therum a bit more," he said. "I mean about Liara…and your…your stubborn insistence to keep carrying Wrex."
Shepard looked surprised. "Are you reprimanding me?"
"No, but it was foolish," Garrus growled. Perhaps he was reprimanding her, but she wasn't his superior officer by any turian standards, though he respected her a great deal already, having known her for so short a time. He was speaking from a place of concern, but he wasn't sure if he was conveying it properly. "You could have been seriously injured or worse. A turian general would never…"
"I'm not a turian, Garrus," she interrupted him.
"Your squad was ready to help you. I could have carried you back to the ship. You were weak, you'd already carried Wrex through half the cave by yourself somehow…"
"It was my responsibility to make sure everyone made it back to the ship safely," she sounded angry now. He hadn't meant to provoke this response, but sometimes conflict was the best way to resolve concerns. At least, amongst turians this was true. "What does it matter? I'm fine and we all made it back alive."
"The point is that if it happens again, you might not be fine. You aren't invincible, Shepard. Sometimes the best thing for your crew is to make sure you take care of yourself," his subharmonics were rising in pitch, a sure giveaway that he was getting too emotional about the topic.
Why did he care so much about this ragtag, mismatched alien crew? Only a week amongst them and he already felt more connected to these aliens than he had to half of the people he worked with in C-sec. Why? Was it the comfort of having no barriers in his way? Why did he care if the commander pushed herself? Maybe it was just his turian way of thinking.
Shepard seemed to notice the change in his pitch. "You were worried about me," she said, her voice softer, less angry.
Garrus stared out the window. "It doesn't make any sense."
"You never worried about your fellow officers in C-sec? Or in the military?"
'It was different,' he thought privately. "I don't know what it is about this ship or your crew," he said aloud. "The first time we fought together, it was like an instant connection. I hadn't felt that since my time on Palaven. Maybe I was worried. You just seem to bear a lot of weight on your shoulders, Shepard. You ought to let the rest of us bear some of it too. We're here to help you. And it's not just a mutual interest in finding Saren. I know for a fact any other human commander couldn't have brought all of these races together."
She was silent. He was beginning to realize that the commander had a very difficult time taking compliments. He had noticed it early on before they'd arrived at Therum, and in most of her interactions with Kaidan, who, it seemed, loved to shower her with praise. She was deserving of it, most could agree; an accomplished soldier with Spectre status ought to be someone worth of praise.
"What about Liara?" Shepard asked, changing the subject.
"I wanted to apologize for my rush to interrogate her. I was worried about her possible alliance with her mother, but…maybe I was too rash."
"You were thinking like a soldier," Shepard shrugged. "It was good to test the waters. We had no way of knowing where she stood on the matter. I think you made the right call. I hope you think we made the right call in keeping her aboard."
"Yes, absolutely."
"I've already heard some of the crew making comments about her," Shepard sighed. "It seems like everyone wants to over-sexualize asari because they seem to be so attractive to every species...and they're the ones who make up the majority of the talent at places like Chora's Den…but Liara seems so…I don't know…?"
"Innocent?" Garrus suggested.
"Yes. Even though she's older than most of the people on this ship, besides maybe Wrex, she seems so young…and naïve. I kind of want to shield her from those sorts of comments."
Garrus agreed with Shepard. Liara did seem naïve and shy. As beautiful as she was, she seemed too sweet to imagine anyone wanting to pursue her sexually. The thought brought him back to the conversation on Therum while Tali had been hacking the mining laser. He was intensely curious about it, but figured it wasn't his business to ask Shepard about that. Each day aboard the Normandy seemed to bring more intriguing questions he wanted answers to, about all of his squadmates, but the commander particularly; he knew so little about their pasts.
"I know it's not exactly a time for diversions," Shepard said, gazing out the window. Garrus thought she almost looked sad. "But I thought maybe when we get to the Citadel we could all go out one night. The seven of us, I mean. If we can get Liara to come along. There's a bar on the Presidium called Purgatory. We used to go before I was a commander. It might be nice to forget everything and just get to know each other in a casual environment, right? It's how Alliance crew mingle, usually."
"I know the bar," Garrus said. It was less…seedy…than wards establishments. Certainly a lot nicer than a place like Chora's den, though the waitresses still dressed proactively and they had strippers in cages above the dance floor. It was a good idea for all of them to get to know each other outside of the ship, he agreed. It could help comradery and nothing brought people together like drinking too much.
"Turians don't have the same notions of fraternization as humans," he told Shepard. "Our entire culture is centered around the military. Everyone has to serve at some point. If you can't socialize with other military officers, platonically or romantically, who's left to socialize with? We'd go extinct. Human ideals about that have always confused me."
Shepard shrugged. "They say it can distract from the mission if you're involved with an officer, though the rules on friendship are a bit more lenient."
"I would think it would be more distracting to a mission to desperately want to be with someone and not be able to. Blowing off steam with a fellow officer has to be more productive. It's practically encouraged on turian vessels. As long as you're not…what's the human phrase? Humping on the battlefield, it's more constructive to just let it happen."
Shepard let out a snort of laughter. "Humping?" She surprised him with a fit of uncharacteristic giggles.
"Is that not the word?" he cocked his head.
"No," she laughed. "It is. It's just…probably the tackiest way of describing it."
"Would you prefer making love?" He asked, not disguising his distaste for the phrase at all. "That's much tackier, I think. Humans and quarians like to use the phrase, though."
"I wouldn't use that unless I meant it," Shepard said, her laughter subsiding. "Casual sex has a different connotation than 'making love'. You've never been with someone you'd use that phrase for Garrus?" she sounded surprised.
"I told you," he waved his hand, "I'm married to my work."
"Yeah, I guess I haven't ever really been in love either. Maybe puppy love."
"Puppy love?" Garrus hadn't heard the phrase before. He was imagining a very unpleasant scenario involving a varren, which was the closest thing he could immediately associate with the human concept of a dog, or 'puppy' as he knew they were sometimes called.
"It's like…when you're young and stupid and don't know what love really is. Like the person you lose your virginity to, maybe. You think you love them, but it's just dumb infatuation," she explained.
"Oh," he understood suddenly. "I don't know how it would translate in turian. But I know what you mean."
"I'm sorry, I don't know how we got on this topic," Shepard said.
"Like I said," Garrus shrugged. "It's normal to discuss amongst officers in the turian military. It doesn't make me uncomfortable."
"I should check in on the crew and maybe get something to eat. I can't remember the last time I ate something." She stood up and lingered next to him for a moment. Her hand reached out and squeezed his shoulder, her favored gesture of support amongst her crew it seemed. "Thanks for being concerned. It's good to know someone has my back."
"I'll be on your six, Shepard," he assured her. "I'll keep it clear."
A/N: Another little exploration into Shepard and Garrus' relationship. Hope everyone is enjoying it. Thanks again for the reviews and favorites! More soon!