dont own narudo

Phobia

by Riverhaze

Chapter Five

Sakura felt herself fall down on her bed and her eyes shut the moment she hit the sheets. She had managed to survive her first week back in Konoha, and she could say her sleep had not. Now she knew why Tsunade was always inebriated.

"They call it the Haruno Fever." She grumbled under her breath as she rolled over to sit back up. Sakura gazed around her apartment room, not her idea but Ino's. She had been content with sleeping on the couch in her office, but when the other medic saw her there in the morning she made Sakura go out and find some where decent to live. The thought of living with her parents well pass the age of twenty made her cringe and she dipped in to some of her gambling 'earnings'.

'Speaking of which, I should probably repay those.' She thought with a sigh. There were probably still thugs out there hired by losers hunting her down. Getting to her feet required a lot of will power and concentration, but she made her way back to her kitchen where she had left the medical journals and files she brought home with her to look over. She was in the process of tracking down patient zero, and was close to hunting him down within the Anbu ranks. Again, Ino came up with a great idea and made Sakura leave her office on a Friday night to 'catch up with Konoha', whatever the hell that meant.

She fixed herself a cup of coffee to help her stay awake for the process, and a sandwich as the last thing she had eaten was a fruit bar for lunch.

Sakura took her seat twenty minutes later and leafed through her notebook to where she had left off, the list of the dead Anbu she had traced was scrawled across most of the page, their death dates recorded neatly. There was nine in all and they had all passed within two weeks of each other, and several had all been on the same team as each other. For some reason, Sakura could not escape her creeping concern that everyone infected were shinobi. Ino disregarded it as chance, that the disease was confined to a small number because only they had been exposed to it. But exactly, what exposed them to it?

She grabbed the patient records through the stack and began to paw through it. In the absence of a leader, no one had thought to organize any of the data, so Sakura was left with a big mess to look through. Not even any of the computers had been updated, and Sakura made a note to fire some one when she could get around to it.

After some serious squinting, Sakura was able to pull out the last few death certificates. She began to mark down the names, adding three more to her list and the final name, she circled. He had been a Hyuuga, but Sakura was sure that he wasn't even Neji's cousin. It was noted on the file that he had returned from a mission in the Wind Country to catch a runaway Fire Country criminal when he developed a cough. Four days later he was dead, and now five months later Sakura was back in Konoha. Sakura wondered how this had not spiralled into a full blown pandemic with such little response, they had been lucky.

Now that she knew where the disease originated, the Wind Country, she could send in a few Anbu and Medics to track down Patient Zero's path and identify the source. Suna would probably send in their own team to help as well, since they were experiencing their own ordeal with the Haruno Fever. A scientific name better come along quick, she thought with a grumble.

Leaning back in her seat, she rubbed her eyes until they watered and blinked at the clock. Three hours had passed and she felt exhaustion weighing on her back. She'd get reacquainted with Konoha another day, Sakura thought as she shuffled back to her room and her bed.

That night she had dreams of the Wind Country.

She flew past the great desert that surrounded Suna, across the plains to the west and could feel the mighty wind strip past her face. She travelled up and up many steps, until she stood on the plateau of a dense bamboo forest. She already knew the path, she had been there before in her travels. Through the darkness she came upon a small village, and was drawn to a clay hut on the outskirts of town.

An old woman beckoned her inside and offered Sakura tea. She could not exactly remember what they had been talking about, it could have been small talk or a philosophical discussion. But at some point the old woman pricked Sakura's arms with special chakra tags, and explained to her the enigma of chakra.

"The basic ingredient to every shinobi's power. The system has been noted to develop as early as four years old, jutsu's may attack it and destroy it. But to be destroyed by ones own chakra? What a painful end."

Something crashed to the ground and Sakura was jolted awake. From years on the field, Sakura had developed the ability to wake up at the slightest noise, a habit she only honed while travelling by herself, some nights spent asleep under the stars.

She threw her blanket away from her and got to her feet before swiftly crossing to the door, pulling out a hidden kunai just in case. Her weapon ready, she crept forward in to the hallway and paused outside of the kitchen doorway as she heard a shuffling noise. Counting to three, Sakura threw the door open with her shoulder and let the kunai release from her hands.

Sasuke merely had to step back and the kunai landed in between the tile behind him and he gave her an inquisitive look.

"Your aim has gotten horrible." He said and Sakura had to shake her head several times to make sure she wasn't still stuck in a dream.

"Why are you in my kitchen during the middle of the night?" She asked.

"It's actually the early morning. And because I was paid to." He said and went back to reorganizing her utensil drawer.

"Who paid you to break in to my apartment?" Sakura demanded now, her irritation rubbed raw.

"The Dobe-Hokage. I'm trying to bid on a work by Ryou without taking any money from the estate." Sasuke explained and turned to look at her warily, in case her infamous short temper blew a fuse. Instead she remained pretty calm, which scared Sasuke even more.

"Why is he sending people to spy on me? I am a grown woman and do not need any one to babysit me." She said through gritted teeth. "If he thinks he can, I'll just-"

"Leave?" Sasuke cut in and shot her a smirk. "That's exactly what he doesn't want and why I'm here. Don't worry I haven't been 'spying' on you, just popping in to make sure you're still here." He said with a shrug and she glowered at his words.

"You two treat me like a child." She muttered.

"Maybe if you didn't act like one, then we wouldn't."

"Do you really want to start that with me?" Sakura growled and Sasuke only smirked wider at her. "Ugh, fine. It's too early in the morning for this anyway." She huffed, throwing up her hands, and shuffled back to her room. Hey, maybe it wasn't a bad thing that Sasuke was giving her nightly visits, his looks had only gotten better and maybe she could actually have some fun. Then she remembered who it was and almost laughed out loud at the idea.

Sakura flopped down on her bed and rolled back under her covers. She lay there for a good half hour, but could not fall back asleep. Her eyes flew back open and cursed Sasuke to hell for waking her up so damn early. She got to her feet again and decided she'd take a moment to get reacquainted with Konoha, as Naruto had put it. Not many would be up at this hour, so she wouldn't have to put up with their stares.

The morning air stung a little at her face as she stepped outside, but it smelled cool and refreshing. It smelled like the shops that cooked bread down the street, of the blooming trees lining the streets, and distinct sharp smell that comes from foreign lands. It smelled like Konoha.

Sakura jogged her way around the village and was appalled to see that it took her almost an hour, when in her prime as a shiboni she could have lapped the village four or five times by then. She realized she had arrived at the mountain once the ground began a sharp incline, but once she reached the top she took a moment to catch her breath.

The sunrise threw reds and pinks across the sky, and where they joined an odd orange tint. Her breath was the only sound in the morning mist, and once alone she got to thinking again.

Sasuke and Naruto cared about her still, and now that they were adults they could go about showing it better than when they had been shitty teenagers. She appreciated their concern, but still found it insufferably annoying. Especially Naruto's concern. He was the one that had broken her after healing her, and then threw it in her face when he moved on only a few weeks after their break up. Then she fled Konoha two weeks later.

She thought, maybe her separation would give her time to move on and forgive those who had done her wrong, but it had only made her more bitter. How could she forgive Naruto when there were years of unsaid words between them? Without closure? Maybe then her wounds would start to heal. She frowned when she realized she had to talk to him, but that did not mean that she wanted to or would.

You two treat me like a child.

Maybe if you didn't act like one, then we wouldn't.

"I'm not being childish." She mumbled and knew that was a blatant lie. "I'm being smart." She added, yes, she was. She was guarding her self from letting that pain in ever again. So what if that meant solitude? She could find happiness there if she searched for it, even if it would be a hallow sort of happiness. The only happiness she ever really had had been with Naruto, the kind that is so bright and immense that anything compared to it would be just a glimmer. It was the kind that blinded you.

"God dammit!" Sakura let out a frustrated howl and slammed her fist to the ground. She felt the earth beneath her shake and she jumped back in shock. The small tremor she sent through the mountain subsided, and she let out a small shaky laugh. She had to be more careful than that with her anger, she was lucky she had been outside and not in her own house.

"Yeah, the great Sakura Haruno taken out by her falling roof." She mumbled to herself as she got to her feet and left behind her thoughts.

Naruto Uzumaki was across Konoha in his house, sitting on the window sill staring out across his village. It were these early morning hours that he loved, when the village was still sleeping peacefully. His wife was asleep in the other room and he wasn't due in the Hokage office for another half hour, so he was left to his own thoughts.

Today Konoha's gossip mill would be full of the latest news, that Hinata Uzumaki was pregnant.

He wondered how Sasuke and Sai would react, he could just hear Sai's jabs. He also wondered how Sakura would react. He never knew with her, she was unpredictable at times, like trying to tame fire. That had always been one thing he admired about her. Naruto found himself smiling bitter sweetly like he always did when thought about her. He used to think of her at night before falling asleep, wondering where in the world she could be and if she was safe and warm. In a way he prayed for her well being, that's all he ever really wanted for her, to be happy.

Kakashi had said that Sakura still hadn't forgiven him. How could she? And more importantly, how could he get her to let go of that grudge that was poisoning her? Naruto was immensely sorry, he had been a stupid kid then and acted out of anger in one second and it had cost him one of the most important people in his life. But now she was back, he thought, and he had to do his best to convince her to stay.

He thought about his daunting task, and then he thought about Sakura and could agree that he was in for one long and frustrating mission.

Sakura had been the love of his life, and you can't just forget someone like that once they were gone. People always thought that they were to end up with the one they first love, truly love with all their heart, but things did not work that way. Yes, he did love Hinata, but in a different reserved sort of way.

It was a selfish and unfair thing, love.

revised 7/12/13

re-revised 10/1/15