The atmosphere on the Normandy was restless; nobody knew what was awaiting them on Ilos, but most of them were frightened of what might. Garrus was pouring all his energy into final upgrades to the mako, sure they would be needed once on the surface. While he worked, Liara read stories about Ilos aloud to the crew in the cargo bay. The salarians had disembarked on the Citadel, so it was just Wrex, Garrus, Tali, and the engineers once again. Liara seemed to have every single piece of Prothean writing on the subject of Ilos, but no one had actually seen the place first-hand; it had been lost with the Mu Relay. They were going to find it again.
Garrus wasn't sure how the others managed to find sleep at night. If he wasn't worrying himself about Ilos, then his mind was racing with thoughts of Shepard. There had been too many moments in the last few weeks for him to be misreading the signals, and yet he still questioned it. He wished Shepard were a turian, he knew how to handle turian women; human women were a complete unknown.
It was the third night on route to Ilos, and the third night he had tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Wrex and Tali were sleeping soundly in their cots, Wrex letting off obnoxious snores every few seconds.
Garrus had been avoiding the observation deck because he was so confused about Shepard. He knew he would find her up there if he went, so he had stayed in his cot, restless, the past two nights.
As he lay staring at the ceiling of the cargo bay on the third night, he decided it wasn't worth avoiding any longer. Shepard was his friend, probably his best friend. He needed to talk to her about how he was feeling, not just about their relationship, but about everything. She was the only one he was comfortable sharing his fears with.
He moved from his cot quietly, not wanting to disturb Tali and Wrex. He would have to take the elevator; taking the ladder through the med bay would wake Liara up, and he didn't want to do that either. The ride up seemed to be the slowest in memory, he thought he would never reach the observation deck. When the doors opened, he was relieved to find Shepard seated on the couch closest to the window. She turned around at the sound of the elevator and smiled when she saw it was him.
"I missed you the past few nights," she said.
He sat down next to her. "How are you holding up, Shepard?"
She shrugged and stared out the window. "Honestly? I'm scared. The unknown scares me more than anything. I wish we knew what we were getting into. I keep thinking about Virmire. I have these nightmares about it…about Ash…" her voice caught in her throat and she steadied herself. "I don't want anything to happen to the rest of you. Especially not you."
"We'll get through this together," Garrus said. "No one is dying on Ilos except Saren."
He reached his hand out instinctively and clasped hers where it lay on the couch. The way their fingers fit together surprised him. He had never held a human hand before, but he had expected it to be awkward. She had almost twice as many fingers as he did, but they fit neatly, two and two, between his. She squeezed his hand, stroking the top of it with her thumb, a warm, earthy smell filling the room.
"Shepard," he said after a moment of silence.
She turned her face to his. "Yes?"
"The past few weeks…we…have you noticed…" he'd never felt so flustered before. His heart was pounding.
Shepard placed a hand on his face, her fingers soft and gentle against his mandible. She didn't pause to let the moment play out, possibly too afraid they'd face another interruption. Her lips pressed against his, smooth and delicate, with just enough pressure. It was like nothing he had every experienced before, so different than turian lips.
He leaned into the kiss, opening his mouth against hers. Her lips pressed harder against his as she grabbed his shoulder and leaned into him. Her mouth opened, enough for him to move his tongue against hers. He wasn't sure how much humans used their tongues for these sorts of things, but turians employed their long tongues in most romantic acts. She didn't seem surprised by the maneuver, meeting his tongue with pressure from her own, which he took as a good sign. The taste of her mouth was so new, and yet so familiar, so distinctly Shepard.
The longer they kissed, the less Garrus ever wanted to let go of her. They were blind to the world around them, focused only on one another. He grasped at her back, pulling her against him so that she straddled his lap. She wrapped her arms around him, stroking the soft skin behind his fringe as they kissed, her bottom grinding against his lower plates.
He felt euphoric, and was hugely disappointed when her mouth broke away from his.
"Shepard," he said, his breath heavy.
She said nothing, her lips moving to the tender skin of his neck. His talons gripped her thighs. Her kisses were so delicate, applying pressure with a sensitivity that a turian just couldn't achieve. His subharmonics vibrated involuntarily, a low purr escaping his throat.
As she grinded against him, kissing and nipping at his neck, he could feel his lower plates shifting to accommodate his arousal. Shepard felt it too, because a moment later, she drew her mouth away from his skin and nuzzled against his nose.
"Garrus." Her voice was husky. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
He laughed and she smothered his laughter with a kiss. He wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off right there; the fabric between their skin felt suffocating.
After a few more minutes, she sat back on his legs and caught her breath. He thought it might be over as she rose to her feet, but then she spoke.
"We should go somewhere more private," she said.
"Where?" he asked, somewhat stupidly.
"Well, I had heard the commander has her own private cabin." She rolled her eyes at him.
"Are you sure?" He could have kicked himself for even asking.
She took his hand. "Yes."
He followed her onto the elevator and as soon as they were inside it, they were on each other again. He pressed her against the wall, his hands pushing impatiently at the hem of her shirt. He was intensely curious about her body, eager to explore such unknown territory.
For once, the elevator ride didn't seem slow.
When they emerged at the crew quarters, they didn't realize the doors had opened for nearly an entire minute. Thankfully, the main chamber was empty. Almost everyone else on the ship was asleep, except the night crew running things up on the bridge. Shepard took Garrus' hand once more and tugged him along to her cabin, both of them giddy, like teenagers who had never had sex before.
"Take off your clothes," she demanded as soon as the door to her cabin was shut and locked. She was already shuffling out of her own attire.
"Is that an order, commander?" he asked.
"You better believe it, Vakarian."
A shiver of anticipation ran down his spine. He could hardly believe what was happening, but he wasn't upset at the resolution of weeks of pent up tension. He pulled his clothes off in a hurry, nearly tripping out of his boots.
When they were both completely naked, they stood in front of each other, taking in the foreignness of their bodies. Her skin was covered in scars, tendrils of pale flesh on her stomach, her legs, her arms. It was a body hardened by war, and yet so soft and pliable compared to a turian's. He was most surprised at the shock of red hair growing between her legs. He knew humans grew hair there, it had been part of his alien anatomy courses during military training, but it still surprised him all the same.
His eyes roved up and down her body, trying to take it all in. He'd never actually seen a naked human in person before. Her breasts were intriguing as well, though he'd at least seen those on asari in places like Chora's Den. He knew that males of other species found them sexually appealing, even involved them in foreplay, but he still didn't understand the attraction. They were just two small lumps of fat hanging on her chest. He did wonder what they felt like, but only in the same way he'd been curious about her hair. They didn't impact his desire for her one way or the other.
She was taking him in as well, he could see. He must have looked so angular and sharp compared to a human male. She wondered if the sight of him naked would ruin things; their bodies were just so different. And yet, they had more similarities than he'd initially thought: all of their parts certainly seemed compatible.
As he stood, feeling more awkward by the second, wondering what she thought of him, she bridged the gap between them, kissing him once again as she brought her hand between his legs and stroked him.
His brain momentarily short-circuited. Her hands were so soft, her fingers so small and numerous.
"Shepard," he gasped.
They kissed for a few minutes, stumbling into the wall. It took everything in his power not to throw her down on the bed and ravage her. He didn't want to seem too eager, like some teenage recruit who'd never seen a naked woman before.
After several more minutes, his mouth broke away from hers. He had to ask, had to have one more reassurance.
Part of him was worried it wouldn't even work. Their parts seemed compatible enough, but there wasn't a lot of precedent. Every other species seemed to be screwing each other except turians and humans. What if something went wrong? Rumors had always swirled that dextros and levos couldn't have sex without one of them swelling up with an allergic reaction, but he doubted the truth behind the rumor. After all, they had been swapping spit for nearly an hour now and neither of them was breaking out in hives, and he knew turians who were married to asari.
"Garrus?" Shepard pulled him from his thoughts.
"Shepard," he said slowly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She pushed him gently away from her and walked over to the bed, lying down and staring at him. "I want you, Garrus." she answered.
He didn't need to be told twice. He climbed on top of her, moving between her legs, mindful of his weight against her body. She looked up at him with so much longing in her eyes that any doubt he had vanished. He kissed her and she gripped his hips with her legs.
He guided himself inside of her in one slow, fluid movement. She let out a gasp and her eyes squeezed shut and he was immediately concerned he had hurt her. Her muscles were so tight around him, much tighter than any turian he'd ever been with.
Frozen in place, he propped himself up on his elbows. "Shepard…did I…does it hurt?"
She let out a long, slow breath and opened her eyes, her cheeks flushed. "You're just…a little bigger than I'm used to," she said slowly.
"Maybe this is a bad idea." He hated himself as he said it.
She brought her hands up to his face. "No…no. I want this, Garrus. It's just new. There's always kinks to work out with someone new. Here…if I just…" She moved her legs, hooking them up above his hip spurs, which allowed her to spread them a little further. "There," she said, settling back onto her pillow. "Try again. Slowly."
He kissed her again, feeling her tongue pressing against his eagerly. He gave a few slow, careful pumps of his hips and she responded accordingly, short gasps escaping her mouth, eyes half closed. This was a better sign.
All he could focus on was the feel of her, the taste of her, the smell of her. He brought his tongue along her collarbone as he moved inside of her. She was still so tight against him, so wet, so warm, so soft…
"Stop, stop, ow…" she patted his shoulder.
He slowed to a halt. "What did I do?" he asked, concerned.
"Nothing, nothing, God, fuck, you've got to get off of me," she pushed on his chest. He pulled out of her and rolled on to his back. She hopped to her feet and hobbled around the cabin.
"What happened?" he asked.
"My hip just…locked up." She rubbed the joint as she tried to walk out the cramp.
"Is that, uh…common?"
She hobbled around for a few more seconds and then sat on the edge of the bed. "Sometimes, if I move my legs a certain way during sex, it happens. They're just not used to that position…with the hip spurs. It's just an adjustment."
"What if we can't make this work?" Garrus sighed.
She leaned over him, her soft breasts pressing against his chest as she kissed him. "I want it to work," she said. "I'm not letting you leave this room until we resolve this."
"It feels good for me," he said, honestly. "I want it to feel good for you too."
"Here, let's try this. Get behind me."
She rolled onto her hands and knees and he did as she said. His erection was absolutely throbbing, and he would have loved nothing more than to plunge into her and pick up where they'd left off, but he could tell she had something more in mind.
"Come closer, lean over me."
He pressed himself against her, draping his body over her back and gently kissing her shoulder. She grabbed his hand, wrapping it around her hip and up under her, guiding his fingers between her legs.
"Watch your talons," she said softly.
"I know," he replied.
Her fingers guided his into the warm, wet folds between her legs. She didn't seem so different than a turian in that respect, until she led his finger to a little bundle of flesh just above her opening. When he put pressure there, she let out a little gasp and let go of his hand, leaning onto her elbows and moaning into her pillow.
Another unusual and confusing human attribute. Turian women had this part inside, where it would actually be stimulated during sex. Now that he knew where it was, he continued to move his finger against it, rubbing in a circular motion as her body responded beneath him.
"Garrus…" she gasped, clutching some of the sheets in her hands. Now things were starting to improve.
Keeping his fingers moving between her legs, he kissed and licked between her shoulder blades, up to her neck, where he nipped at her skin with his coarse lips, afraid his teeth would be too sharp on her fragile skin. She moaned beneath him, his name escaping her lips several times.
He wondered how long he should wait to start things again, still moving his fingers in slow circles over the knot of fleshy nerves between her legs. Characteristic of her station, she gave the orders when she was ready.
"Dammit, Garrus, fuck me already," she gasped.
He wasted no time. Grabbing her hips, he slid back inside of her. She was still tight, but the movement was much more fluid now. He returned his fingers to their work as he gave a few slow, steady strokes. She bunched the sheets in her hand and moaned loudly.
Finally, they seemed to be figuring it out. He was overwhelmed with how good it felt, how right it felt. She was so soft…and the sound of his name leaving her lips was like heaven. He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder, the edges of his mandibles dragging against her skin.
"Shepard," he gasped.
"Garrus…fuck…God, Garrus!" she moaned. "Oh…it feels so good…please don't stop."
Were all humans this talkative during sex? He didn't mind, he liked the string of unintelligible noises of pleasure issuing from her mouth, but Turians certainly weren't so vocal; their subharmonics did most of the talking. He wondered if Shepard understood the frequency at which his own were vibrating; it was a pitch he'd never be caught dead making in public.
He wanted to last as long as he could, wanted to make this perfect. Now that they had a rhythm going, more than anything, he wanted to make sure she would enjoy it as much as he was.
She was sweating, half of her face pressed into the pillow, her body red and splotchy, eyes closed and mouth open as quiet little moans and gasps escaped her throat.
"Harder…faster…Garrus…" she gasped. He complied, bucking against her as hard as he could muster. "Don't ever stop…" she moaned. "Don't ever stop…God…."
But then her breath sped up and she gripped the sheets until her knuckles turned white as a series of short, sharp gasps left her lips, punctuated by his name. Her muscles tightened around him in spasms and it was too much. He tried to keep going, but the feeling was overwhelming. The rhythm of his movement became uncoordinated as he gave a few last thrusts, a wave of pleasure gripping his entire body, moaning her name as his subharmonics oscillated.
And then it was over.
For a moment, he lay draped over her back, still inside of her, her muscles still contracting against him, though the movement was slower and further apart until it halted altogether. Both of them were breathing heavily and she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He licked her shoulder affectionately and finally pulled out of her, falling onto his back, his chest rising and falling heavily.
She stood up slowly and disappeared into the bathroom for a moment, returning with a hand towel, which she handed to him as she lay down next to him on the bed. He wiped himself down and tossed it on the floor.
"We should have done that sooner," she said.
He laughed and turned onto his side to face her. All of the tension that had been building between them had dissipated. He stroked her cheek, mindful of his talons.
"Should I go?" He didn't want to leave, but he wasn't sure what the protocol was, and if they slept too late, they risked the crew finding out what they had done.
"No." She sidled up against him and rested her head on his chest. "Stay."
He didn't need to be told twice.
Shepard awoke the next morning, worried she had dreamed the entire thing. When she opened her eyes and found Garrus lying next to her, sleeping soundly, she felt a small sense of relief.
She lay watching him for a while, observing the way his mandibles twitched as he dreamed. When Garrus had shown up on the observation deck the night before, she'd never anticipated that things would have happened the way they did, but she wasn't upset. A tension had been building between them over the past few weeks, but every time they'd almost kissed, they'd been interrupted. When he grabbed her hand on the observation deck, she had made the decision not to hesitate; it had been the right choice.
It was still early; the crew would not be up and about the main chamber of the quarters for another hour or so. As much as she had enjoyed her night with Garrus, she didn't want anyone else to know about it. It was personal, for starters, and something she wanted to keep distinct and separate from her role as commander. She also didn't want to make it awkward. Whatever the night had meant to both of them, bigger and scarier things awaited them on Ilos. If they survived whatever Sovereign was planning, then they could talk about what things meant.
After a while, Garrus stirred, stretching out his long limbs, his subharmonics chirping as he stretched. He rolled onto his side, opened his eyes, and smiled.
"Good morning," he said, still wearing a mask of drowsiness.
"Morning. How did you sleep?"
"Better than I have in days," he admitted.
"Me too."
Shepard had experienced one night stands before and the subsequent discomfort the following morning. She was a little worried she would feel that discomfort with Garrus when the heat of the moment had passed, but it never came. She felt as at ease with him as she always had, perhaps more so now that the sexual tension between them had been released.
Garrus lifted his hand and stroked his fingers through her hair.
"Still fascinated with my hair?" she asked.
"It's nice. It's so soft. There's nothing comparable on a turian."
"I don't know." She reached her hand up and brushed her fingers against the soft skin directly beneath his fringe. "This feels pretty soft."
"Shepard…" his subharmonics purred. "That's a very sensitive spot."
"Oh," she withdrew her hand. "Should I not touch it?"
"No, you should keep touching it," he insisted.
She moved her hand back against his head and he closed his eyes. His own hand stopped moving against her as his subharmonics made his whole chest vibrate.
"Any other spots I should know about?" Shepard asked.
He opened his eyes. "Isn't it more fun if you find out through experience?"
She grinned and rolled on top of him. "If you insist."
After they had finished their morning romp, she lay on her back next to him, her body covered in sweat, weak from the exertion. He was running his tongue along her collarbone, nipping at her skin with his rigid lips.
"Is this a turian thing?" she asked.
He propped himself up on his elbows. "Is what a turian thing?"
"You're licking me," she said.
"Do you humans not lick each other?"
"Well…sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It feels good…"
"Turians sense of smell and taste is very important in…er…sexual relations," Garrus said, somehow managing to seem awkward discussing the topic despite having been inside of her a few minutes earlier. "Biting is good too, but, uh, your skin is so soft…I don't want to hurt you."
"Humans employ biting too," Shepard said. "Sometimes." She eyed his razor-sharp teeth unsurely. "Maybe you should try it just to see."
"I don't know, Shepard. I really don't think…"
"Garrus, you've seen all my scars. I can handle a little pain. Besides, sometimes pain can be fun," she smirked.
"If you're sure…"
"Just do it and see."
"All right, but you can't be mad if it really hurts."
"I won't, I promise."
He kissed her neck, as delicately as turian could with such rough skin, moving his kisses down to her shoulder, licking the sweat from her skin as he moved. Then, when he reached the cusp of her shoulder, he clamped his teeth down, probably biting much lighter than he could have.
Shepard let out a yelp and swatted him off of her.
"OW!" She growled.
Blood was trickling from the wound, streaking down her chest and back as she sat up.
"I told you!" He complained.
Shepard grabbed some medi-gel from her nightstand and sealed it onto her shoulder. She would need to have Karin look at it. She was not looking forward to that conversation.
"I'm sorry," Garrus said sheepishly.
"Don't apologize," She frowned. "I told you to do it."
"You can bite me if you want."
She shoved him. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Yes," he purred.
Shepard lay back down, stretching her body out and sighing. "We should probably get up. The crew will be up soon and we'll want to get out of here before that. I just don't think we should tell anyone. You know, I just…don't want to make things uncomfortable for anyone else and…"
"I agree," Garrus nodded. "This should just be between you and me."
She kissed his mandible. "Thank you."
"Shepard?"
"Hm?"
"Before we get up…can I…" his mandibles flared with embarrassment, "er…could I…touch your breasts?"
She blinked at him. "What?"
"I've only been with turian women," he said. "They don't have them. I've heard it's supposed to be part of human foreplay, but I wasn't really sure what to do with them so I just ignored them."
Shepard laughed. "Yes, you can touch my boobs, Garrus." It was a sentence she'd never imagined herself saying until the night before.
He brought his hand against her chest, mindful as always of his sharp talons, and squeezed his fingers around the soft, doughy flesh. Her body reacted instinctively to the touch.
"They feel odd," Garrus decided.
"Thanks."
"No, in a good way," he pinched the upraised flesh of her nipple and she let out an involuntary gasp of surprise. "Did I hurt you?" he asked with concern.
"No, I just wasn't expecting that." She watched his hand, squeezing and moving her breast. It was by far the least sexy experience she'd ever had while having her breasts groped, but she appreciated the novelty of it all for Garrus.
"They are fun to touch," he said. "But I still don't understand the sex appeal. Do human men put their mouths on them?"
"Yeah, sometimes," Shepard shrugged. "Don't bite them though!" She added for good measure.
He laughed and brought his tongue experimentally against her skin, brushing it over her nipple. Pleased with the sensation, and her response, he did it again, this time moving his tongue around it in a circle.
"Garrus, don't," she said softly.
"Why? Does it hurt?"
"No. But this is what humans do as part of foreplay, and we don't have time for another round in the sheets, so I'd rather you didn't get me revved up, if it's all the same."
"Oh." He moved away from her chest and sat up.
"Let's get dressed and get out of here before everyone wakes up," she suggested.
They stood up, Garrus gathering his clothes up off of the floor while Shepard pulled fresh ones from her dresser.
"When all of this is over," Shepard said, pulling her shirt on over her head, "We can talk about it. Until then, let's just enjoy the memory."
"Agreed." Garrus nodded.
Once they were dressed, Shepard peeked out of her cabin to make sure no one was out in the main chamber of the crew deck. Seeing that it was empty, she beckoned Garrus to follow her. They moved quietly toward the elevator, Shepard practically tip-toeing to avoid arousing any suspicion. Just as she was about to hit the button to summon the elevator, a voice sounded from the door to the med bay.
"Commander Shepard, Garrus, could I have a word with the two of you?"
Shepard spun around, feeling like a child caught breaking a rule. Karin stood in the open doorway, arms folded across her chest, her expression unreadable.
"Uh, what about, Karin?" Shepard feigned innocence.
"Probably best if we discuss it inside the med bay." She turned around and walked back to her desk.
Garrus and Shepard exchanged a glance a followed Karin inside, the door sliding shut behind them.
"If you could both just have a seat on the examination table there." She pointed to the table closest to her desk.
They sat down obediently, wondering how much she had seen or heard and what she might say to the rest of the crew. Shepard had always trusted and respected the doctor, which perhaps made her feel guiltier for having been caught.
"Are you sure we should talk in here?" Garrus asked. "Isn't Liara…?"
"Liara woke up an hour ago and went down to the cargo bay to visit Wrex and Tali…and you, ostensibly," Karin said, eyes flitting to Garrus. "We're quite alone, I assure you."
'Good try', Shepard thought.
"Listen, Karin, I don't…" she started.
"Commander Shepard, you are by far one of the best commanders I've had the pleasure of serving under, and it's been a joy to watch you rise in the ranks aboard this ship. I have no interest or concerns about who you choose to spend your free time with or how you choose to spend it," Karin interrupted. "But I would question my own credibility as a doctor if I didn't make sure that both of you aren't showing any signs of hyper-allergic reaction to one another."
"Oh, we're uh…" Garrus tried to think of something to say.
"Please don't lie to me, Garrus. I saw the two of you last night. You can see my desk right there, it looks straight out to the elevator through that window. I also saw you sneak away to commander Shepard's cabin and I saw you sneaking out this morning. And I also unfortunately heard a few things as I was grabbing my breakfast from the cooling unit this morning."
Shepard's face grew warm and Garrus' mandibles flared. Neither of them could look at the doctor. Shepard felt like a teenager again.
"Er…sorry," was all she could muster.
Karin grabbed Shepard's chin and shined a light in her eyes before making her stick her tongue out and say 'ahh'.
"You don't have to apologize to me, commander. I remember what it was like to be your age. In fact, I had a brief affair with a turian soldier myself, during the war. I was probably about your age then. Take your shirt off, dear I need to inspect you for signs of hives."
"You uh…you what?" Shepard was reeling. Sleeping with Garrus had felt like breaking some huge taboo. Humans and turians that were even friends were so few and far between, part of her had genuinely thought they might be the first human and turian to ever have sex with each other. Now she realized what a naïve thought it was. There had been plenty of sympathizers on both sides of the war, it shouldn't have surprised her that some of them might have become romantically involved with one another.
"You think you're the first turian and human to figure out their parts were compatible?" Karin laughed. "That's sweet, but no."
She pulled Shepard's shirt up over her head and all Shepard could do to assist her was raise her arms. She could not believe the situation she was in.
Karin tutted at the sight of the bite wound on her shoulder.
"Garrus, human flesh is far too soft for turian teeth," she said.
"Yeah, Garrus," Shepard chided.
Garrus' mouth fell open. "What? You told me to bite you!"
"Even still, you shouldn't have listened to her."
She went about removing the medi-gel and cleaning the wound with antiseptic. Shepard winced. Karin patched the bite up with a large bandage before investigating Shepard's skin for any signs of an allergic reaction.
"I really think we're fine, Karin," Shepard insisted. Her face was burning by that point. She was never one to shy away from the topic of sexual conquests, but the doctor was such a motherly figure on the ship, it felt obscene to discuss with her.
"You do look okay," Karin said. "It's different for everyone. One of the Alliance nurses who worked under me…her face swelled up and her throat closed. She was lucky we had ample medication on hand or she could have died." She looked at Shepard unsurely. "You didn't…ingest anything, did you?"
Shepard didn't think it was possible for her face and ears to get any warmer or redder, but they did. "Um…no." She said after a moment.
"Ingest?" Garrus cocked his head.
Based on their experience the night before, which had been more than enjoyable, Shepard knew that Garrus wasn't sexually naïve. He did sometimes have a hard time extrapolating translations to secondary meanings, but that was a cross-cultural issue. There were plenty of turian sayings Shepard didn't understand.
"Oh, Garrus," Karin gave him a pitying look. She turned back to Shepard. "Well, you might want to keep an epi-pen just in case."
"What does she mean, Shepard?" Garrus asked.
"I'll tell you later," Shepard growled.
"You look fine, commander. Let me examine Garrus."
The doctor sidled over to the turian and began her examination over again. After several minutes examining his skin, she seemed satisfied.
"All right, you can go. But remember what I said. I keep the epi-pens in this little cooling unit beneath my desk if you need one."
Shepard hopped down from the examination table.
"Um, Karin, if you could just…not mention this to anyone…"
"Doctor patient confidentiality," She said, crossing her finger over her heart. "No need to worry, commander."
"Thanks. Garrus, come on," Shepard beckoned him after her.
He followed her out of the med bay and into the elevator.
"That was embarrassing," he said once the doors had closed.
"Incredibly," she agreed.
Not content to drop the previous subject of conversation, Garrus turned to her, arms folded across his chest. "What did she mean by ingest, Shepard? Is it a human phrase my translator's misinterpreting?"
"No, it's uh…" she coughed. "Well, you see…sometimes…people use their mouths to…wait a minute. Turians use licking as part of sex and you don't know what she means about ingesting?" Shepard crossed her arms, mirroring him.
"I already told you I don't!" he stomped his foot in frustration.
"Well…sometimes people…have you ever heard the term blowjob before?" She felt her face growing red again. She recognized that any interspecies sexual interaction could be awkward, but she was beginning to realize how little she knew about turian culture and intimacy.
"I've heard it. My translator doesn't interpret it."
"Turians don't have a word for that?"
"For what? Dammit, Shepard, would you be an adult and tell me what it means?"
"It's when you put your mouth on someone's dick and suck on it!" She blurted.
He spent several seconds staring at her, a look of revulsion growing on his face. This was certainly the first time Shepard had seen that kind of look on any man's face when discussing the topic.
"But…would your teeth...?" he started to ask
"OH," suddenly it dawned on Shepard why Garrus' translator couldn't interpret the word. Turian teeth, as she'd learned first-hand, were incredibly sharp. She supposed that putting such a sensitive organ in a turian mouth would be like sticking it in a bear trap. She winced at the thought. "Well, uh, human lips are more pliable than turian lips. We don't use our teeth. We just…uh…use our tongues…and our lips."
He gave her a very skeptical look. "And 'ingesting' is some sort of human slang for this?"
"No…God, Garrus."
"I'm sorry, but the entire concept is foreign to me. If I put my penis in a turian woman's mouth I would lose it," he shuddered.
Shepard sighed. She didn't realize she'd be giving a sex-ed lesson in the elevator when she woke up that morning. "Ingesting…swallowing…it's…God this awkward…"
"We're both adults," Garrus said.
"When you um…finish…in…someone's…mouth…"
"Spit it out, Shepard."
She snorted with laughter involuntarily. Garrus didn't understand why she was laughing, and she could see that he was starting to get annoyed. She stifled her laughter and continued.
"Well the person who's doing the uh…sucking…they can either…spit it out or swallow it. Most people swallow it because it's easier and less unattractive."
"This is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard of," Garrus shook his head.
Shepard shrugged, then thought for a moment. "Wait, are you telling me turians don't uh…well your tongues are so long…"
"We lick things," he said. "That part is usually more fun for the females."
She patted his shoulder. "We do that too. Just for future reference."
The doors to the elevator swung open and they stepped out into the cargo bay. It was time to pretend nothing had happened the night before…or that morning.
"Another late night on the observation deck?" Wrex asked from his spot against the mako.
"As usual," Garrus responded.
Tali was seated next to him, tinkering with some geth parts she had salvaged back on Feros. Liara sat above them on the edge of the mako's side, reading something on her omni-tool.
"Wrex, have you ever heard the term blowjob?" Garrus asked.
All three aliens looked up at him. Liara's face tinged purple and she went back to reading her omni-tool with renewed interest. Shepard sighed and shook her head, slumping down next to Wrex on the ground.
The krogan let out a belly-laugh. "Excuse me, Vakarian? You haven't?"
"Shepard was just explaining what it meant," he said. "Turians don't…er…our teeth are very sharp."
"Why were you talking about blowjobs?" Wrex asked, narrowing his eyes at Shepard.
"One of the crew members used the term," Garrus covered quickly. "My translator didn't have a word for it. I just can't imagine it feeling very good. I'm picturing a lot of teeth."
"If they're doing it right, teeth aren't involved," Wrex shrugged. "You should try it with an asari some time."
"Really!" Liara burst. "Excuse you, Wrex!"
"Don't be so naïve, Liara," he replied.
"Could we please talk about something else?" Shepard asked.
"I notice Tali hasn't said anything," Wrex said. "Seems weird that quarians would have a translation for that, considering you live your whole lives in a suit. Doesn't seem like your immune system would handle it well."
"Just because we don't have a word for it doesn't mean I don't know what it is," Tali shrugged. "Some of us are a bit more worldly than Garrus."
Wrex laughed loudly. "Hear that, Garrus? Even the quarian's got more experience than you."
"I'm sorry I mentioned it," Garrus grumbled.
Shepard couldn't help but laugh at the annoyed expression on his face. Wrex continued to poke fun at him, Liara's face getting more purple by the minute as she eavesdropped, Tali piping in with unexpected quips once in a while. Shepard remained silent, watching and listening, taking in the moment. After Ilos, if they survived, what would become of this ragtag team she'd built? The Alliance would have new tasks for her, if they didn't court martial her for mutiny. Would they stay on and help her? She had come to care for them all so much; her ship would seem so empty without them.
She shook the thought from her mind. That was a worry for another day.
A/N: WOO BOY. This was my favorite chapter I've written so far and finally a resolution to that slow slow burn I've been building up. I hope you all enjoyed it! Thanks as always for the kind comments! More soon!