Bonnie Sveen Fan: Yeah, I did the same. And thank you, glad you're enjoying the story.
casualtyfics111: Thank you and there will be another scene between those two in this chapter.
Scarlett: Thank you!
Chapter Thirty-Eight
"Hey. You're going to be okay."
Lily wished that she could believe Iain. It wasn't that easy though. There was a small voice in the back of her mind, telling her that something would go terribly wrong, and that she shouldn't even be going.
"Look at me, Chuckles," Iain whispered and he placed a finger under her chin, so that he could slowly lift her face. "You'll be fine, and Mrs Beauchamp will be there. You don't have to talk anyway, not if you don't feel comfortable."
"I know," Lily whispered back, stepping forwards for a gentle hug. "I love you."
"I love you too," Iain said, wrapping his arms around her. "You'll have a lunch break, right?" He asked, and she nodded. "Text me then, yeah? Let me know how you're getting on. If you're feeling anxious, tell me and I'll come and pick you up."
"You don't have to..." Lily went to say.
"Tell me," Iain said again, a little bit more harshly in a hope that Lily would get the message.
"I will," Lily promised, with a small sigh. "I have to go now. Mrs Beauchamp wants to be on the road in five minutes."
"Alright." Iain placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and gave her hand a squeeze, as she walked away.
"Hi Lily," Zoe greeted her, as soon as she arrived at the van. "How are you feeling this morning?"
Lily just nodded, secretly pleased that Zoe was coming with them. She assumed that Connie had given her a job back at Holby, considering the fact that she'd been there for a while now and didn't seem to be making any sign of moving back to America.
"Why don't you sit next to Connie or Ethan?" Zoe said, giving her shoulder a rub. "And Lily, well done for coming along today. I know that can't have been easy for you."
Lily just nodded and climbed into the van, pleased to see that Connie was already there rifling through a stack of paperwork. Feeling reassured by her smile, Lily fiddled with the ends of her sleeves and sat down next to her.
"Hey lovely," Connie said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Lily nodded meekly, forcing a brave smile.
"We'll wait for the others, and then we'll head off," Connie said, smiling back at her. "But I did give them a time, so hopefully they won't be late. Are you sure you're okay?"
Lily gave another meek nod.
"Because you know that you can talk to me anything, right?" Connie said. "I won't judge, I won't interrupt, I won't be angry, because believe it or not Lily, I care a lot about you. It still upsets me knowing about what you went through." A lump formed in her throat, as she struggled to continue. "It's something that you're never going to forget, and I wish I could help you in some way."
"You've helped me a lot," Lily managed to whisper, sensing that Connie was upset.
Connie hardly ever cried and she looked close to it. It scared Lily. It was as if Connie was a completely different person, she was usually so strong and brave.
"I don't feel as if I've done enough though," Connie said. "If I'd realised what was wrong a lot sooner, then I could have prevented it somehow."
"You couldn't have," Lily said. "But I'm okay, Mrs Beauchamp. I still have bad days but I'm still seeing Helen and I'm taking my medication as well."
"I just...I've seen the affect that sexual assault can have on people, Lily," Connie said. "Which is why I want you to talk to me so much if there's something wrong. Rape is an..."
"Please." Lily shook her head, and her whole body started shaking. "Don't say the word."
"I'm sorry," Connie whispered, realising that she probably shouldn't have even said anything. "But if anything was to happen to you and I didn't do anything to try and stop it, then I would never be able to live with myself."
"I'm not going to hurt myself," Lily said.
The sound of the passenger door sliding open was loud enough to make them both jump. Lily tensed up, hanging her head, and pretending as if they hadn't even been talking. It was only Ethan and he must have sensed that it was a bad time, because he slowly made his way to the back of the van in silence.
"We'll leave things here," Connie whispered. "But if you do ever feel that way, promise me that you'll tell either myself or Iain."
"I will," Lily said, and strapped herself in. "But I'm okay, Mrs Beauchamp."
"Call me Connie," she said, and passed the map over to her. "Here's an important job for you anyway. Map duty."
"Thanks," Lily scoffed sarcastically, but took the map from her anyway.
"We need something to distract you from the anxiety," Connie said.
Lily had never seen so many people before. As soon as she walked into the hall, her chest tightened and she felt as if she was about to throw up. She turned her head to speak to Connie, to let her know that she couldn't do it, but Connie was suddenly nowhere to be seen. And of course, Iain wasn't around. It was as if all her worse nightmares were coming true.
"Hey little one, how are you doing?"
The sound of Cal's voice made her jump, and she turned to see him strolling towards her. She wanted to tell him not to call her that, but she couldn't. Her words were stuck.
"Are you okay?" Cal sighed. "I'd get Connie, but she's tied up with talking to the clinical lead of this hospital. Can I help?"
Lily shook her head. If she had to talk to any of the brothers, it would be Ethan. She and Cal had never exactly been close.
"Well, I know you and Ethan are close but he's also tied up," Cal said. "He's giving the first speech."
It was as if he knew what she was thinking.
"I'm sorry, Lily," he sighed. "I know I've not been the most understanding or the nicest person to be around, but I do care and I'd like for us to get along. Just talk to me and tell me what's on your mind, yeah?"
"Cal!" Zoe arrived, placing a hand on his shoulder whilst stepping in between him and Lily. "I'll deal with this, alright? She um..." Her voice turned to a whisper so that Lily wouldn't hear her. "Likes certain people."
"I was just trying to help," Cal said.
"I know, but today isn't the best day for that," Zoe said, turning to address Lily. "Come on you, do you want to sit down?"
Lily shook her head, her eyes on the growing crowd.
"You know," Zoe sighed, leaning back against the wall. "You have been through an extremely difficult time lately, so honestly talking in front of a crowd of people is nothing."
"But Mrs Beauchamp said she didn't have to talk..." Cal went to say.
"Yes," Zoe snapped, holding a hand up to him. "She did say that, but I think she'd be pleased if you said a little speech. You won't be put on the spot at all, you can write it all down first and I can help you, and you only need to speak for a couple of minutes."
Lily didn't say anything.
"Come on," Zoe sighed in an encouraging manner. "You used to be one of our best public speakers, didn't you? You've been doing so well Lily, and aren't Connie and Helen giving you small challenges to do? Could we add talking to a crowd of people to the list?"
Lily managed a smile.
"Well?" Zoe asked. "What do you say?"
The entire room went silent as soon as Lily stepped up onto the stage. She gulped and looked to her left to see Zoe, Cal, Ethan, and Connie standing backstage. They were all watching her intensely, apart from Connie who looked ready to leap on stage.
"What is she doing?" Lily flinched when she heard Connie's sharp tongue. "Zoe! Why are you sending her on stage? She isn't ready!"
Lily wanted to agree with her. She wanted to drop her piece of paper, run off the stage and into Connie's arms, and get back to Iain as quickly as she possibly could. Her feet had been pinned to the wooden floor though. She held the paper in her trembling hands, Connie's voice still ringing in her ears.
"Give her a chance, Connie." It was Zoe's voice that time.
Lily forced a smile and took a deep breath, stuffing her hand into her pocket. She felt something though. Frowning to herself, she pulled out her iPod and earphones and just looked at it sitting there in the palm of her hand.
She looked back to her colleagues and slowly stuck the earphones into her ears. By now, the crowd of people were whispering to each other, but as soon as Lily chose a song and clicked play, she could no longer hear the muffled voices.
"H...Hello everyone," she stuttered, as the sounds of Ed Sheeran played in her ears. "My name is Lily Chao and I...I'm a registrar at...at H...Holby C...City Emergency Department. Th...This is what I have to say."
This story will probably be ending soon, which I'm sad about, but it will also mean more stories from me x