Disclaimer: characters and places belong to Chris Carter, to 1013 Productions and to Fox Network, except those created by me. If you find this fanfiction similar to another one, it's nothing more than a coincidence.

Production: January, 2009 – August, 2010

Rating: PG-13

Summary: In 1998, Scully left Mulder and the FBI to pursue her interrupted path in Medicine and try to be happy. Ten years later, while trying to save a young boy's life, some old wounds of hers are reopened once their paths cross in the search of the truth. Because lives may change and hope may be lost, but they still want to believe…

Extra: a different take on I Want to Believe, considering an Alternative Reality post-Fight the Future. Spoilers from the episodes.

A/N: okay, I need to let everyone know that I'm back to work, therefore there's a strong chance I won't be able to update as regularly as I wished. Still, don't worry, this fanfiction will be completed (even if it takes me a long time). :)

Once again, English is not my first language and I don't have a beta-reader at the moment, so I'm sorry for any mistakes, no one is perfect. Hope you enjoy this fanfiction as much as I enjoyed writing it.

OUT FROM UNDER

Chapter III:

Tears of blood

One day, a day already so far away, she had been like everyone else: the same dreams, the same desires, the same hopes. Back then, she would stare at her own reflection in the mirror and see a young but strong-willed woman, brave and determined to make the world acknowledge how great she could be. She knew she could do it. They knew she could do it.

And then he came into her life and nothing had been the same again.

She couldn't blame him for everything that had turned out wrong, fact. It hadn't been his fault when she failed that last mission. It hadn't been his fault that she couldn't face the discoveries they had made together. Just like it wasn't his fault that she ended up closing herself from a reality that wasn't the same to her eyes, which kept her away from everything around her, from all the things she had known, all the things that were still giving her a chance.

But...

There was always a 'but', right?

Scully pulled off the sheets and sat in the bed. It was raining outside and the raindrops were making a strong sound while hitting the bedroom's window. The clock marked 06:30 a.m. and the streetlamps, still on, were illuminating the increasingly lighter darkness. Dragging her soft body through the bedroom, she went to the bathroom and washed up her face with cold water, not so much to ward off the sleep but more as an attempt to erase the memories that had been aroused due to the events of the previous day.

In vain, however. It was stronger than her.

She left the room, walked through the dark corridor and entered the kitchen, after which she filled a kettle with water and put it over the stove. She needed a tea to calm down. Those had been days with too many emotions at the hospital, especially due to Christian's case, which was still weighing on her spirit. And now this thing with Mulder...

Scully wasn't sure of why she was being like this. It had been just a glimpse of his figure on television. Now that time had gone by, she wasn't even sure it was him at all! It had been ten years and people change, they grow old...

She sat at the table and buried her red head on her arms. They hadn't exchanged a single word since they had separated, nor a phone call, or even a text message. She had hurt him and she knew it. That was why he had never called to dissuade her from her final decision; that was why he had never followed her to convince her not to leave – she had turned her back at him after witnessing him opening his heart, right when he most needed her. And, truth to be told, that was also why she had never insisted, why she had never called first to know if everything was okay, why she had never met him to make sure they could still be friends.

She had left right after telling him she would never abandon him.

She had betrayed him right after winning his trust.

But why was she still pressing the same button? That man could even be someone else... And even if he was Mulder, what could he do to her? It was just a glimpse on television...

"Stop thinking about it! You don't have to think about it!"

The kettle began to sizzle. The water was ready. Outside, it was still raining and the day was dawning. Everything could be so normal. Why wasn't it?

"You don't have to think about it! But I am thinking it!"

"Hey, Dana!"

Scully raised her head from the clinical file she was analyzing at the round table from the doctors' lounge and found Dr. Alex St. Matthew, who was now entering the same room. With a tired sigh, he left his body fall in a chair near her and put down his stethoscope over the table top.

"I didn't know you had the night shift today," he commented.

"I'm replacing Patterson, his wife and kid have the flu." Scully noticed that Alex was observing her and gave him back the look with a smile: "Well, it's not like the walls from my apartment are going to miss me!"

"Are you working on something new?"

She noticed the sudden change in his voice tone. She hadn't talked to him yet, about Christian and everything that had happened at the meeting with Dr. Hawkins, but something inside was telling her that, no matter how much he loved the little one, Alex wasn't going to stand by her side on this. He didn't agree with her profound insistence in saving a life whose fate was already traced.

Better not to talk about it.

"Yeah, a suspected appendicitis, the boy hasn't been here for long. I'm waiting for the results of some blood tests I've ordered."

"Okay..."

He wanted to talk about Christian. She knew it, she could feel it. She could see it in the way he moved his eyes towards the other corner of the office, how he rubbed his hands together, how he was crossing and uncrossing his legs beneath the table. She knew Alex for four years now, it was time enough to be aware of his body language.

However, neither of them was ready to discuss the case at that moment.

"Yes, I've heard about that kid!" Alex seemed to wake up all of sudden and his expression changed, though he didn't look any less uncomfortable. "You know, Dana, I've been thinking... I wonder if, by any chance... well... maybe tomorrow you'd like to have dinner with me."

"I don't work tomorrow, Alex."

"I know, me neither!"

"Oh!"

Scully stopped in the middle of her reading, caught in surprise. To her great embarrassment, she could feel her cheeks getting warmer. She couldn't believe she was blushing over the invitation.

"Alex, please," she asked in a murmur, as if it was a secret that no one else should hear, "we've been through this phase, we've had this conversation. Just friends, nothing more."

"I know! I remember, that's why I didn't insist before!" Alex forced a smile that didn't reach, not even close, the disappointment in his eyes. "But it's just dinner, Dana, a dinner between two friends. I mean, you're going to eat anyway, right?"

And he laughed, as an attempt to break the ice between them. It didn't work.

Scully knew what her colleague wanted and was trying so hard to hide using the words she wanted to hear. A dinner between two friends? No, that wasn't what Alex wanted, they both knew it. And she liked him, she liked him a lot; she appreciated his friendship and his trust, but that was all and that wouldn't change. That couldn't change.

She had crossed that line before and it didn't end well. She wouldn't commit the same mistake again.

"Right..." She closed the file and put it aside. Although it hurt, she chose to face Alex in the eye. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I've been so busy I started neglecting work at home and I was planning to catch up on that tomorrow. You know, domestic work can be hard..."

"Sure! I understand..."

That had been, by far, the worst excuse she had ever used to avoid an unwanted event. Luckily, the heavy silence was broken by the acute beep of a pager that started calling at the best possible moment. They both reached for their coats' pockets.

"It's mine. Pediatric surgeon to the rescue," said Alex, taking his stethoscope and getting up from the chair. "I'm going to see what they want. See you... later, I hope."

"You know where to find me."

He knew. Scully was the one who wasn't sure whether she wanted him to find her or not.

She hated the Our Lady of Sorrows at night. There was something terrifying about its corridors: a ghostly shadow tainted all of its corners; the patients' moans seemed to reverberate in the spaces; the endless prayers by the sisters watching over the souls of those under their care echoed in the darkness. Even for her, who had once faced murderers and psychopaths and even stared directly at Death, the mood felt a bit disturbing.

It was 04:30 a.m. when Scully returned to the doctors' lounge, holding a cup of strong coffee in her hands to fight the fatigue that was starting to bring her down. She had been called to the Pediatric Ward because one of the kids had suffered a seizure. Once the situation was under control, she had felt the urge to pay a quick visit to the infirmary where Christian was sleeping peacefully – she was scared that his clinical condition could get worse at any moment, and it was always a relief to see that everything was okay with him.

But now that she was thinking about it, she could understand that it hadn't been the most appropriate attitude towards her other patients. She had to occupy her mind with something else or she would go insane!

"Dana?" Alex opened the door and took a peek at the lounge. As soon as he saw her, he entered, seeming very satisfied. "Here you are! I was looking for you, but you weren't anywhere to be seen!"

"I went to the Ward, a kid had a seizure. But he's better now, the nurses will call me if needed."

"Well, if you don't have anything to do, sit down, because you won't believe what I have to tell you! You have no idea what I just saw!"

Curious, Scully followed his footsteps and sat at one of the chairs at the round table, near Alex. It was like he had completely forgotten the conversation they had had a few hours ago.

"So, what happened?" Her colleague shook his head out of disbelief. "Tell me! Is this about the reason why they called you before?"

"What? Oh, no, that was a false alarm! But there I was, at the middle of the ER, and that old friend of mine, Dr. de Mayo, came to ask me for my opinion on a man that had just arrived." Alex bent over her. "A man crying tears of blood!"

"Tears of what?!"

She only noticed that her voice tone was a few notes above the normal level when Alex put his index finger over his lips and hissed a warning 'ssshhh'. A bit embarrassed by her reaction, she looked around and shrugged.

"We're alone, Alex."

"The walls can hear!"

As if proving his statement, the lounge's door opened to allow the doctor in question to enter. Oscar de Mayo dragged his small and curved body towards the marble countertop and held the practically empty coffee kettle. Alex cleared his throat and Scully had to hide a smile when the other man jumped, caught in surprise.

"Alex! Dr.!" His white moustache trembled at every word. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice you two there, I was a little distracted!"

"It's fine, Oscar, we understand!" Alex crossed his arms and reclined in his chair, with a mischievous smile drawn on his lips. "I was just trying to hear Dr. Scully's opinion about your patient."

"Alex! I expressly asked you..."

"I know! But don't worry, Dr. Scully is trustworthy. And I think we'd both be interested to know what she has to say!"

He turned at his colleague and winked at her with the same expression. And suddenly, Scully was reminded of her old FBI colleagues. But how could he know? Sure, she had once told him that she had, in fact, been a Federal Agent before dedicating herself to Medicine only, but it had been just that. She had kept a secret about what she had done and what she had seen, she had never told him a word about the X-Files...

Oscar scratched his bald head and sat at the table with them, while letting go a deep sigh. His confusion was so great he didn't even remember the coffee he had come to take.

"I don't know what to do," he confessed. "Nothing makes sense."

"Did he have any recent trauma?" Scully was trying to establish the bases of the history to formulate her opinion.

"No, nothing! We took some tests, everything was negative, and there was no trauma, no previous history, no hemorrhage... Everything would be perfectly fine if the man hadn't started crying tears of blood!"

"And are you sure it's really blood?"

"Of course, I was there at the lab when they tested it. Twice!"

Scully and Alex shared looks. He was staring at her as if asking: 'See? I told you you wouldn't believe it!'

"Wait a minute, there has to be a flaw in this story!" She had never accepted facts without a scientific explanation and she wouldn't start now. "People don't just start crying blood out of nothing! Something must have caused a leak of blood to the tear duct..."

"There are no visible external signs, the fundoscopy was normal and the x-ray..."

"The FBI says he was fine at one moment and in the other he had a blood river going down his face."

"The FBI?"

Scully turned her head towards Alex once she heard his words.

"He works for the Agency?" Her throat was suddenly dry.

"Him?" Alex just laughed. "I don't think so. He's a priest."

"Was a priest," Oscar corrected. "But I don't think you're very far from the truth. From what I understood, Father Joe has been working with the FBI on this latest case of theirs, you know... the one with the young woman that disappeared, they've even talked about it on TV..."

Since he knew that his friend had troubles to remember people's names, Alex clarified: "Monica Bannan."

Monica Bannan! The 'special help'. A flash interrupted Scully's thoughts and she remembered the image of the old man she had seen at television the other day. Could that be the same old man that was now crying tears of blood at the hospital, her hospital? She could run but she couldn't hide – ten years later, there she was, one step away from falling into the paranormal again.

Could that man, that Father Joe, be the one who'd bring her back the monster that she had tried so hard to exorcize once and for all?

Could Father Joe be the one who'd bring her back the only person she wanted so bad to see again, but also never meet again?

"Oh, I'm sorry, duty calls!" Oscar turned off his pager, which had started beeping, and stood up. "I'm so desperate for a coffee and there's none out here!"

"C'mon, that's enough for a sip!" Alex imitated him. "I'm going with you. I need to check on your suspected appendicitis again, maybe he's feeling better now, Dana."

After hearing her name, she woke up from her momentary trance and nodded in agreement, although she had no idea of what he had just told her.

"Are you okay?" he asked after noticing her expression, while Dr. de Mayo abandoned the lounge following a voice that was already calling out for him. "You seem a little pale..."

No, she wasn't okay. She could feel her stomach contorting, her blood boiling, a nausea invading her. Vertigo made the world dance beneath her feet and she asked herself whether she was going to lose conscience or not.

"I'm fine! Alex," Scully passed her tongue over her lips, "who brought the old man to the hospital? Was it the FBI?"

He nodded.

"A man and a woman. And I think she's the one in charge." Alex snorted. "That little prick, she's probably younger than me and she tried to boss me around..."

"And the man? Do you know his name?"

"Yes." Scully's heart almost stopped beating during those hundredths of second. "Agent Dummy... I'm sorry, Drummy! That's why I remember it!"

It was like getting a bucket of cold water above her.

"Drummy?" She couldn't hide her surprise. "And there wasn't anyone else with them?"

"No..." Alex scratched his chin. "I mean, there was another man. He barely spoke while I was there. I had the impression that the old man had some kind of communication deficiency and he was his interpreter."

Of course. If her senses weren't wrong, she knew exactly what was wrong with Father Joe.

"But he wasn't a Fed," he concluded. "You can smell those from far away."

"How was he like? Tall, burly, dark hair," she tried to describe the figure she had seen at TV, "thick beard?"

"Exactly! Do you know him?"

Yes, she had known him... many, many years ago...

"Thanks for telling me, Alex!"

And this was it – her and the unexplainable, together again, sharing the same space, walking side by side. Between them, only glass, so fragile and so minimal it couldn't separate them at all, it couldn't protect her from anything.

The man, Father Joe, while asleep between the immaculate sheets of the hospital bed, seemed perfectly normal. His white long hair, spread over the pillow, seemed slightly reddish, although his face was now cleaned up. She noticed that there were no curatives around his eyes, which denoted the fact that crying tears of blood had been a one-time occurrence.

A woman was standing at one corner of the infirmary, gesticulating while using the cell phone, with her back turned at her. Afraid that she would notice her presence and not enjoy it, Scully thought it was time to return to her normal activity. She wasn't needed in there, anyway.

Then she felt a movement behind her, at the corridor. She hadn't even noticed that she wasn't alone. Instinctively, she rolled her heels and turned her back at Father Joe's room. At the row of plastic chairs along the corridor, a man with dark hair and thick beard was sleeping, with his arms crossed against his chest and his head supported by the wall behind him.

And it just happened. Right there, in that right moment, so quickly she couldn't even react, so unexpectedly she didn't even know what to do.

Mulder!

There was no denying. With ten more years above him, with his face darkened by the beard, she knew she wasn't wrong. That man was Fox Mulder.

The only person to whom she had given everything.

The only person from whom she had taken everything.

"He didn't even notice," she could hear the voice screaming inside her head. "Run! Run before it's too late!"

She didn't even think twice. When reality hit her, Scully was already walking down the corridor towards her office, leaving Mulder behind her. If only he didn't wake up... God, please, don't let him wake up...

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said when she bumped against another woman wearing white coming from the opposite direction.

"It's okay, no problem!" The nurse put her hands on her hips. "Are you new here? You seem a little lost!"

"No, I'm... I'm a pediatrician. I came here to see a patient."

"Hum!" The other woman, large and small, gave her a pat in the back and smiled in comprehension: "You know, coffee is a great friend of those who work at night!"

Scully already knew that. But that wasn't her problem.

She saw the nurse moving away, but she didn't even dare to look at her again. She stood there for a couple of seconds and massaged her temples. What a long, long night!

And then...

"Hi, doc!"

The voice couldn't deceive her. Mulder had found her.

TBC

A/N 2: this is a special message to Siya96 since you don't have the private messaging system available – thank you so much for your support! I hope you don't mind, I had to delay the interaction between Mulder and Scully, but it is promised for next chapter. Hope it will be worth the wait! :D