Chapter 3 - Ma Ferret

The two set out together after sunset as neither wished to be seen. Badger carried a small bludgeon, "just for show". Though they might not be seen they would certainly be heard, so neither spoke a word to the other. However, they encountered a rabbit or two at almost every turning. Many of these touched their forelocks with a bright "good evening sir" or "mister Badger sir"; not one seemed even to notice Radagast.

They arrived at a large well-polished door brightly lit by a lantern at either side. Standing in front of the door like a sentry was an enormously stout ferret. Badger cleared his throat: "Badger and friend to see Ma."

"The door is always open for you mister Badger. Do you vouch for your companion? Let him show his face in the light."

Radagast obliged and the stern face of the ferret guard examined him closely. "You may enter stranger, but you must leave any weapons with me."

They went through a narrow hallway and a second door into the warmth of a smoky, dimly lit space and the doors silently closed behind them. They were in a very large room noisy with many ferrets standing or sitting around small tables, talking and laughing, drinking and smoking. No one took any notice of them. There was a crude bar to one side with two burly rabbits behind it; the place resembled a low ale house, though there was a grubby carpet on the floor rather than sawdust. Badger whispered into his companion's ear "it's always like this on a Friday night." Badger spoke softly to one or two of the more sober ferrets, and they were directed across the room to another door with another ferret guard. She held up both hands palms out as they approached.

"Good evening mister Badger, good evening sir. Ma is indisposed this evening and has given orders that only close family are to be admitted. However, I will send in word that you are here. Please come into the private parlour and take a glass or two." She knocked on the door which was opened immediately. "Jill, please show these gentlemen to Ma's parlour and send in word that they are here."

Jill, a young ferret dressed as a parlour maid, led the two into a small room overstuffed with furniture, and gestured to a pair of arm chairs before a tiny grate in which a tiny fire struggled. She rang a bell on the mantelpiece, and then produced a decanter and two cordial glasses from the darkness behind. "Do help yourselves gentlemen. May I have your cards?"

Badger delved into inner pockets and after some searching produced a crumpled calling card. Radagast meanwhile had handed over a small brooch. "Show that token to Ma Ferret herself if you please. She will recognise it."

"Yes sir, what name shall I say?"

"The token should be sufficient. I do not wish to be impolite, but I have reasons to keep my name hidden. She will know who I am."

Jill curtsied and left, and another ferret scurried in and quickly built up the fire. He bowed to the two visitors, "If you require anything gentlemen please ring the bell", and withdrew before they could say a word.

Radagast sniffed the contents of the decanter. "Elderberry I think, will you take a glass?"

"It would be a failure of etiquette not to, thank you." The two visitors sat staring into the brightening fire, sipping their drinks. "Do you think", Radagast asked, "that we could be overheard?"

"Certainly not, how could you think that anyone would be secretly listening!" replied the badger in a theatrically loud voice. "That would be a grave discourtesy." Radagast took the hint and remained silent.

Time passed. Finally, footsteps were heard and an elderly lady ferret entered. "So sorry for the delay gentlemen, but my mother is really not well. However, she insists on seeing you both." They followed her along a dingy corridor as though in a seedy hotel to a large, comfortably furnished room. The room was lit by a wealth of wax candles; it was light, bright and high-ceilinged, quite a contrast to what had come before. Badger looked around: the three of them were alone. Their hostess explained "This is mother's private day room, and she has asked everyone else to leave. I am to wait here; please go through to the bedroom." She was torn between obeying her aged mother and protecting her from these puzzling visitors. "Please remember that she is seriously ill."

The next room was small and dominated by an ornate four-poster to rival any in Toad Hall. In the bed, propped up by many pillows was the tiny figure of Ma Ferret. At the bedside was an equally tiny mouse nurse; she made curtsy to the gentlemen and scuttled from the room. Ma's eyes were dull and red-rimmed in her ferret face, but her rasping voice was strong and clear. "Is that you Mister Brown? I heard you were in the area, but I didn't believe it."

"Nothing escapes you does it Ma? And please, call me Radagast." While Badger hung back, he came close and spoke more softly. "I can do nothing for old age, but your cataracts I will ease." He placed a hand over each eye in turn. "That is far from a cure, but it is all I can manage for now. You are tired and need sleep, you will sleep tonight."

The old ferret grinned. "I will call you 'Mister Brown', that is what I called you when I was just a kit."

"So you did. I think you were to be Queen of the May last time I was here. I have selfishly persuaded Badger to bring me here because I need some information from you. Not that it isn't always a pleasure to see you; I have been away far too long."

"Don't try and flatter me you old charmer!" Ma laughed at her little joke. "You want to know who took your wizard's staff I expect."

"No, though I would like it back. It is of no use to anyone else; perhaps those who have it could place it where I will find it?"

"It is the talk of The Wood that you were set upon and your staff stolen. All I know for certain is that no ferret took it or has it."

"I doubt that any animal took it. I do not believe my assailants were locals; but who knows what hands it is in now? It is some other property of mine that I am after: a large box that used to be with the badgers."

He turned to Badger. "If what you tell me of Ma is right she will know the answer to the riddle. Could you read out that final entry about the 'wizard box'?"

Badger harrumphed and read it out solemnly, as though in church:

"CW's heavy gang carried off the wizard chest to new hiding place I am not to know."

He explained "We don't know who wrote this, but I think it must have been my father when he was school age. The date is about eighty years ago. I thought you might remember something about it. The wizard here is rather anxious to get his hands on that chest."

Ma considered this. "Well I don't feel obliged to help, considering that you neither come to see me except when you need something."

They knew when they were being teased and waited patiently. "This chest, it was large and very heavy, yes? There were handles to put carrying poles through? Like the Israelites carrying the Ark of the Covenant?"

"Exactly" said the wizard. "Though I don't go in for that 'deadly to the touch' business. My chest will open only to my hand; that is how the dwarves made it for me."

"I didn't see it" said Ma, "but my pa told me all about it. He said it took them all day to get it out of Badger's house and carry it in relays out of The Wood to the cart."

She stopped and Radagast knew the old tease would wait until he asked. "And where did the cart take it?"

"Toad Hall of course. We all thought that the old Toad had won it at cards. Never thought it was to get it away from your old dad, Badger!"

Badger looked at Radagast and Radagast looked at Badger. Ma Ferret screwed up her wrinkled old face in mirth, and promptly fell asleep, either because of the wizard's injunction or because the visitors had tired her out. The two tiptoed from the room to the tune of Ma's snoring.