Jess' POV

Life sucks. If you don't agree than you're living in a fantasy world. Your born and the first few years of your life are great, all smiles and lollipops then you grow up and learn just how fucked up the world is. You get pregnant at 16, you find out your ex- boyfriend is the father instead of your current boyfriend who you truly love, you have a baby who is born deaf, you finally work things out with the boy you love only to find out he has cancer, but it's okay because he survived, he beat it well that's what you think until he drops dead when you're supposed to be getting married, and if that wasn't bad enough someone tries to take away your daughter, the one person you have left in the world. Yup life sucks.

"I hate you" I cried leaning my head against the cool stone hugging my knees to my chest. They didn't know that I snuck away, they were all to concerned about the latest drama in our group something along the lines of Noah kissing Tori, which to be completely honest was like him kissing a cousin. I wanted to talk to Noah, I wanted to apologize for my behavior but he never made it into my room, most likely trying to make amends with Miranda and Tori after his screw up. It didn't bother me, in fact it gave me a chance to get away, a chance to have peace, to have silence. "I freaking hate you" I whimpered laying a hand on the gravestone slowly tracing my finger over the inscription "You left me all alone. You abandoned me! You could have fought harder, you could have held on longer!" I yelled rising back onto my feet ripping fists full of grass from the ground tossing it at the grave tears streaming down my face "You fucking bastard!" I screamed kicking the stone violently only seconds away from spraining my ankle from the immense force I was using "You died, you left me all alone!"

"Hey, hey" I didn't bother stopping to see who was speaking simply continuing my rampage on Liam's grave "Stop it" He demanded wrapping his arms around my waist forcing me away from the gravestone "Calm down" His voice was soft his hot breath lingering near my ear as he attempted to calm me down

"No!" I cried fighting against his grip doing my best to break free of his arms "He left me, he left me" I couldn't take it any longer finally releasing all of my emotions, allowing my tears to drip down my face not caring at all about how I looked, mascara no doubtabley staining my face

"Shhh" The stranger said calmly gently rubbing his hand along my back slowly releasing me from his grip running his fingers through his sandy colored hair his deep blue eyes locking with mine "Are you okay?"

"Fine" I lied wiping my red eyes fumbling with the sealed bottle gripped between my fingertips

"Thinking about having a drink?" He asked slowly lowering himself onto the ground hugging his knees to his chest watching as I mimicked the action

"Thought about it" I admitted "I already had a bottle today" He looked upon me with genuine concern his eyes dropping onto the bottle "I can have a drink every now and then, it doesn't make me an alcoholic"

"I didn't say you were" He confessed averting his eyes from my body instead scanning the graves that surrounded us "My mom died when I was 14, we were in a car accident our car flipped on the highway, she died on impact, I was in the ICU for weeks after desperately fighting for my life and when I woke up I wished every single day that I was dead. I wished that because without my mom I had nothing left to live for"

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked my fingers dancing over the top of the bottle deciding whether or not to crack the seal

"Because when I lost my mom, I started doing heroin" I glanced at his arm as he rolled up his sleeve the faint trace of track marks still present "A lot of people o ,y neighborhood did it, so I decided to try it I had nothing to lose. But I lost everything, I lost myself, my friends, my life"

"I'm not a drug addict" I interrupted finally opening the bottle hearing the familiar sound of the liquid shaking within the glass bottle

"Grief is a drug, it's not deadly at first but if you give it to much power it'll consume you" The sandy haired stranger didn't say another word simply rising to his feet quickly shaking off the dirt from his pants sending a faint smile my way "Call me if you need anything, I can help" He passed me a small card with a few words printed on it

"JT teen advisor" I read out loud rolling my eyes at the thought of calling him "It's the most wonderful time of the year" I sang stumbling down the street the now empty bottle wrapped firmly in my fingers "That's a car" I giggled slamming into the parked truck patting it carefully as if to apologize

"Jessica!" I froze at the sound of his voice doing my best to act natural

"Noah!" I laughed spinning on my heel to face my younger brother outstretching my arms to embrace the brunette "Where have you been bro?" I slurred my words collapsing into his arms a soft chuckle rolling off of my lips

"Fucking disaster" He whispered to himself wrapping his arm around my body carefully leading me towards our house silently unlocking the door in hopes of sneaking inside without alerting the adults

"Noah?"

"Shit" I laughed quietly hearing my mother's voice smacking Noah harshly in his bicep pointing to the stairs where she was quickly approaching us

"Jessica where the hell have you been?"

"I was….I…" I stuttered unable to formulate any sentence

"Are you drunk?" She asked walking up to us scanning me with her eyes sniffing the air near my mouth a shocked look crossing her face as she caught the distinct scent of alcohol "Jessica Celica Kahn what the hell were you thinking!"

"Ummmm…..I don't know" I giggled falling out of Noah's arms crashing onto the ground "Damn, the floor is hard" I observed knocking my hand against it

"Alison is everything okay?" I turned my head to greet the new figure into the conversation. Emily basically lived with us now, her and mom becoming somewhat of an item the two of them always appearing happier when they were together, something I had when Liam was alive.

"Emily!" I laughed waving violently in her direction

"Does this answer your question?" She whined pointing at me a disappointed look on her face

"Mom don't be mad at her" Noah begged helping me back onto my feet "She's dealing with a lot right now"

"We've all had to deal with a lot over the sat few years and you don't see me getting drunk!" Mom argued crossing her arms firmly over her chest a sign that she had little to no patience left "How long has this been going on?" She questioned her eyes locking on Noah knowing that I was in no state to be answering questions

"Since Liam" He confessed sending a sad look my way silently apologizing for ratting me out "She hasn't taken it very well" He explained "She was drunk earlier today, I tried to help her..but I can't"

"Jess" She breathed sadly resting a hand on my shoulder gently kissing my forehead "I'm sorry"

"Mom what are you doing?" Iasked watching as she reached into her pocket retrieving her phone swiftly dialing a number pressing her phone against her ear as she waited for her to answer

"Spencer I need your help" She had a few tears falling down her face her thoughts apparently causing her immense pain "Jess has a problem"

Question (answer in reviews): What's gonna happen to Jess? Do you think she's gonna lose Jamie?