Chapter 12 – Toad Comes Home

It was Portly's first ride in a motor car, and his attention was divided between looking out for friends and acquaintances to wave at, and watching the driver manipulate the many controls: clutch and gear level, choke and ignition timing, throttle and brake. He began to appreciate why Toad had had so many crashes: having to do all that and steer the thing at the same time while travelling at speeds of twenty miles an hour or more! By the time they had left the town and were bouncing along narrow country lanes he was experiencing another first: car sickness.

Meanwhile, Otter and Toad were able to put their heads together and talk frankly. Toad was prepared to wait and see what they would find at Toad Hall, and therefore indulged the questioning Otter on the – to Toad – minor matter of Radagast von Braun the spy. No, he had no personal interest in the man. No, he did not know what Radagast was supposed to have done. No, he had nothing to do with the ambush near the river bank, he hadn't heard about it. No, he couldn't care less whether he was arrested or not. Did he believe him to be a spy: perhaps. Had he heard about the harassment before the arrest warrant had been issued: no, but he wasn't surprised.

At this point the driver stopped the car and explained to the rear-seat passengers that the young gentleman was not feeling very well. Toad, always obliging to his friends, agreed on the short diversion to Otter's home. Once there Portly was immediately dispatched to bed by his mother, who then produced the sealed message that had been left that morning. Otter took it into his study to read, while she began telling Toad about the morning's other news: the arrival of a strangely behaved gang of navvies at The Earth. They were interrupted by a shout from Otter who dashed out waving a piece of paper.

"Your friends have done a silly thing Toad: they've declared Radagast an outlaw!"

Otter found himself obliged to admit that he had met this Radagast, had met him at Toad Hall, and that he was still there in company with the elves. Toad was indignant: his ancestral home, his Toad Hall, was in the hands of outlaws and foreigners purporting to be 'elves', and here they were just standing around talking! Toad ran – or the nearest to running someone of his bulk could manage – for the motorcar. Otter dashed after him and climbed aboard while the driver was cranking the engine.

After a few minutes of tense silence Toad asked sarcastically "I suppose you believe this Radagast friend of yours really is a wizard?"

Otter gulped. Should he try and explain to Toad all that had been going on? "Badger believes he's genuine."

"Does he? Going soft in his old age if you ask me."

"He's been here before, long ago. Ma Ferret knew him when she was young."

"Ah."

"Toad, did you know about this outlaw business, before it happened I mean?"

"No. Everything is done on a 'need to know' basis, very hush-hush." Toad thought for a moment. "Why did you say it was silly? Sounds exciting to me."

"Because it will have the opposite effect. You don't know the Wild Wooders like I do. They will welcome in any outlaw as one of their own; they wouldn't dream of handing him over now, even for a hundred pounds. In the Wood, Radagast will be safe from your friends in The Ministry, even if they send troops in."

"But he isn't in the Wild Wood, he is in my house and I'm on my way to sort him out, him and his 'elf' friends."

"Oh, Toad!"

"Otter, are you with me or against me?"

"I'm with you Toad to see that you don't do anything foolish!"

The rising argument was halted as the car lurched to a stop under the deep shadow of some trees which leaned over the road. Their way was blocked by a short, uniformed figure standing in the middle of the road, holding up a red flag as a signal to stop. There were several labourers lolling by the side of the road eyeing the vehicle and it passengers.

"Excuse me gents, but would one of you happen to be Mr Toad of Toad Hall?"

"I am he," pronounced Toad, struggling to his feet.

"We are from the GPO, Mr Toad, and we are ready to start work. However, we have hit a little snag. Might I have a private word?"

Toad grunted, and gingerly descended from the motorcar he had leaped into a few minutes before. "If it is money, you have had all the deposits and advances your office demanded."

"Quite so, quite so. No, it's a rather delicate personal matter, sir, but it has to be sorted before we can proceed."

He gently steered Toad out of Otter's earshot, and the two began a long and earnest conversation. Otter and the driver sat in the motor, the engine still running, wondering what was going on. Otter stared at Toad and the official; the lounging workmen stared at Otter; the driver stared at the workmen. No one moved. Otter wondered about the official's voice: the accent was strange and the voice fruity; Otter could not tell whether his tone was obsequious or menacing. After a few minutes Toad shook hands with the official and returned to his seat. "Proceed!"

"Toad, what was that about, and who are they, a stranger lot I've rarely seen?"

"Fox recommended them. They are to do some work for me, and they are refusing to enter my land until these 'guests' of Fox's have left. He wouldn't say why."

"Hum. What 'work' is that?"

"I'm sure I mentioned it over lunch. Toad Hall is moving into the twentieth century. A successful businessman like me has to keep his finger on the pulse of affairs: I'm having a telephone installed. Fox is having the same done at his place."

They had now reached the entrance to the Toad Hall estate and the driver turned onto the gravelled drive. Before Otter could ask another question the motorcar had pulled up at the front entrance, where the charabanc had stood earlier that day. There was nobody in sight, but the doors stood wide. This time the chauffeur did his job and helped Toad to alight. Then, swollen with indignation, the proud owner ascended the steps, ready to deal with the outrageous 'guests' who had thrown out Fox (Toad could not help smiling at the thought of that) and somehow convinced Otter and his son that they were 'elves'.

As he reached the top step two figures came out to greet him, they were the Water Rat and a tall elf. "Welcome home Toad," said Ratty, "We saw you coming up the drive. You weren't expected so soon."

However, it was the elf who took Toad's attention: "Monsieur Toad mon cher, so good to see you again."

"Why Lady Espinal, what as delightful surprise! I certainly didn't expect you of all people." Toad turned to Otter who had come up behind him: "Otter, you've been kidding me all along; I should have realised. Elves indeed!"

Then Lady Espinal and Toad walked together into the hall, arm in arm, good friends together, leaving both Otter and Ratty stunned to silence.