CAP 6

When I went to the City Hall the next day she was not there, and that's how easy my 15 minutes of courage escaped me.

On top of that, my parents and Henry have not left me alone for a second since I returned from the Mayor's Office. And it's not like I can talk about her with them.

She; who is completely alone once more.

I don`t think anyone knows what is happening, not even our son.

It seems like it was yesterday when we fought over Henry.

How could I have been so wrong about her?

She has loved Henry since he was a baby.

She only was overprotective, to the point of being maniac.

But how can she not be? If her own mother ripped the love of her life`s heart in front of her.

No one ever took the time to know what things led her to become the Evil Queen.

Nobody cared. She had so much pain that she chose to be consumed by revenge before that pain consumed her.

Besides, it was everything she knew. Nobody taught her what piety is, nobody had mercy on her.

They taught her about fear and power, but never about mercy. She became what history needed, someone to hate.

And when everyone else hated her, she forgot how to love.

She got to the point of hating herself, because, as before, nobody gave her another choice. And she continued to hate herself even after loving again.

Loving Henry did not help her love herself.

That cost her much more pain. I don`t want to think about what she must have felt when she heard her own son tell her again and again that she was evil.

That hurt so much that she was about to return to the old habits of the Evil Queen.

I believe that by cursing them all to a world without magic, unconsciously she was renouncing magic, and therefore to the power for which everyone feared her.

A new beginning, where nobody knew who she was, or remember what she had done.

And there comes Snow to ruin this "perfect" world that she had created by giving Henry the Storybook. Once again Regina blamed Snow for making her life hell.

But by then she already had Henry and suddenly she found something more valuable than revenge. The love she felt for her son.

Henry had reminded her of what it was to love. That was the reason why, when we found the trigger, she was willing to sacrifice herself.

- "Let me die as Regina" –

There I understood that she was no longer the Evil Queen. She didn`t want to be evil anymore. She wanted to redeem herself, even if that redemption cost her life.

Of course she wanted me to leave from the beginning. She knew that the moment I broke the curse everyone would remember who she was. The funny thing was how easy everyone forgot how good Mayor she was governing. She maintained the economy of a town and made sure everyone had a job.

She did horrible things like the Evil Queen, but as mayor she made sure everyone was safe and comfortable. She took over all of them for 28 years, when Snow didn`t last a month.

I wonder what demons are making her company this time?

- "Emma, are you coming down?" –

My mom yells at me from the kitchen.

I just arrived. I want to be alone!

I go downstairs anyway. They just try to help me.

- "Where is Henry?" - I ask as I go down the stairs.

- "He's on the phone, talking to Regina." - Hearing her name makes me freeze for a few seconds. I would love to know how she is.

It's been several days since I left her in her vault, but I'm not ready to face her yet.

I move again and go to the sofa.

Snow is preparing popcorn. I think we're going to watch a movie or something. Family things.

With reluctance I sit next to my dad who looks at me weird.

I don`t care. How can we do something as a family when we lack a member? And I do not mean Hook.

I support my head on my father's shoulder; from here I can see Henry.

- "Do you miss him?" –

My father asks me while caressing my head.

- "Not really" –

I would like to discuss this with Regina, but David will have to serve.

-"That's bad?"-

- "It's not bad; there are no good or bad feelings. The feelings are to feel them. It's the way we act upon those feelings that sometimes is not the right thing "-

His words leave me thinking. As if I did not have enough to think about.

- "Mom sends her regards" - Henry says sitting next to me. Snow puts the popcorn on my legs and sits next to David. I raise my head and he takes the opportunity to start the movie.

I don`t care about this stupid movie, I want to know how is she.

Then minutes after the movie start, I lose myself thinking that our son probably doesn`t know what happened between us. Because I don`t see him worried about her. Not as I am.

I don`t know at what point the second movie started, nor do I care.

- "Mom you should call her" - I say without realizing it and suddenly there are 3 pairs of eyes staring at me. - "Whom should I call?" -

She question surprised. And of course, as it's the first thing I say without anyone asking me anything, it's the first time I start the conversation.

- "Regina. She is all alone. And I have you guys. "-

I say with my eyes fixed on the television.

-"Maybe you are right. She has been working from 24/7 all week. "-

Except on Monday, I say to myself.

- "But I think she would prefer to talk to you" –

Sure. Because the last time went great.

- "No" - It's my answer. And I can see sideways as she looks at me and then my dad. It is as if they know so well that words are not necessary among them.

That intimacy. I thought I could have that with Hook, but with him I couldn`t even tell when he was lying to me.

With Regina it is something else; As if we shared the same brain.

Like in Neverland. With just a glance I knew I had to hold my mother so that she could take the heart of that child, and I knew she wasn`t going to hurt him.

So many times have I told her that I have faith in her, but she has shown me that she has faith in me.

When she broke the bridge; she had faith in me.

When she taught me to light a fire; she knew what to say, what buttons to push so that I was capable. When she went to the Land of Desires she was willing to die for her faith in me.

To face Gideon, she was the one who gave me the courage .

And me? She was the last to know of my engagement to Hook, and if Zelena had not seen the ring I don`t know if I would had told her at the time.

As if I felt ashamed to tell her.

Every time something came up I would run to tell her, but not that, I knew that she didn`t like Hook. I knew what she thought of my relationship with him. And I had that strange feeling, like a kind of guilt.

-"She`s not answering"-

Snow brings me back to reality.

- "Would you try again?" - Please, please try again. I am very worried but I am very cowardly to do it myself.

-"Please. She is alone. "- And once again she looks at David, who nods his head.

- "Sure" –

She says while dialing again. If she knew that Regina`s number is No. 1 on the speed dial.

Even I could hear Regina's scream. Does she sound scared?

- "Is it a bad time?" - I try to pay attention to the conversation.

- "And here I thought that nothing frightened you anymore" –

You cannot joke with that mom

- "It's good to know that you're still human" –

Really? I can`t believe she said that. Don`t you realize that it could hurt her?

The worst idea I ever had was to ask Snow to call Regina, and that I marry Hook the pirate.

- "Right. We`re worried" –

- "We are worried about you too. We know what Emma`s going through ... "-

You have no idea and you wouldn`t believe it.

- "But we have no idea if there is something wrong with you." –

I don`t believe it, my mother is officially the worst person to talk to Regina. I can`t hear any more.

I asked her to do it and now I regret it.

- "I'm going to bed" -I whisper, she nods. As I went up the stairs I heard her say something about lost people but she did not pay attention anymore.

If there were a serious problem, they`ll tell me.

I would like to lie down and sleep all day.

Maybe a drink would help me, but I don`t think they'll let me. It's more I don`t think there's any alcohol in this house. I wish I was in my house, there's a lot of alcohol there.

It's still early, my phone says 8:30 p.m., and I can`t help but see the background photo. It is my family's favorite; the three of us: Henry in the middle, me on his left and Regina on his right. She is always on his right, and how fitting,' cause she is always right.

I should be used to it already. She is always right. She is so intelligent that she was the only one who found out how to break the Black Fairy`s curse.

Who would have thought it would be a true love kiss between Belle and Rumplestiltskin? Only Regina. They are my family; the Evil Queen, the Author and the Savior. A peculiar but happy family.

How I didn`t see it? It was thanks to her that I started to open up to, I felt safe enough to leave my armor. Even when my parents lied to me she defended them, but at the same time it made me feel safe. When Hook didn`t even speak a word.

When I told them about my vision it was surprising to see how little time it took for everyone to come to the conclusion that it was Regina under the hood. And it was so instinctive that even she thought the same. Even after having proved to everyone that she was no longer the Evil Queen. Literally she has split in two and for them it made no difference.

But for me; what scared me most about the fact that she was not there was that she might be dead. And as always she took the blame that was served on a silver platter and instead of getting angry; as Hook the hypocrite did, she set to work.

And again she is right; I have been blind, but not only with respect to her feelings, also to mine.

Maybe because I've never felt attracted to a woman before.

I won`t deny the beauty of women, but I never considered it an option.

God! Am I more closed minded than my parents? How I didn`t realize that we already share true love through Henry? How did I not realize that in New York, despite having no memories of her, Henry still had the name of Regina's father? How did I not realize when I recovered my memories the first ones that come to my mind are Henry and Regina? Not my parents, not even the pirate who was in front of me.

How I did not realize before when I think about family I think about her too?

- "How did I not realize that I'm in love with the Evil Queen? I'm in love with Regina "- And suddenly everything makes sense.

- "I have to fix this mess?" –