AN: First I want to make an important announcement: I am going to change my pen name in the near future (read the note at the end for more details).

Now that I've somewhat gotten that out of the way. I want to apologize for all of you anxiously awaiting an update. I was planning on having this up last Saturday, but unforeseen circumstances (including blizzard conditions and babysitting until 2am) were added onto my already hectic schedule this week. I'm not making excuses, a lot of it was also just laziness (and Tumblr). But I'm back now, and unlike most of my other updates, I actually spent time editing this, so I hope you like it.

I chose the scene when Castle brings Royal to Beckett's apartment, because I absolutely love it so much. However, I did disregard Castle's secret of season four for this one (mainly because I kind of hate having to resolve both of their secrets in each season four fic, so I chose to resolve Beckett's, don't hate me).

Of course he's late, Kate thought as she paced her front hallway. I gave him a dog; did I really expect him to be on time bringing him back?

Kate had known from the get go that this whole thing had been a bad idea. Actually, taking Royal home with her would have been a bad idea; this "arrangement" she had with Castle was just ridiculous. Sharing Royal between her apartment and his loft would not work. So why had she agreed to it? She was going to get attached to the dog; there was no way around it. If she were honest with herself, she'd probably say she already had. She, Detective Kate Beckett, could not have a dog, and most certainly not one she had to share with Castle, so she was setting herself up for a lot of heartbreak at the end of the day.

But Royal was such a gorgeous dog, not to mention the fact that he was already trained and well behaved. He had melted her heart within moments, truth be told. Castle however, was an entirely different story; Kat had already spent over three years trying to train him, and she hadn't even scratched the surface. She was mulling over how satisfying it was going to be to pinch his ear when she heard the knock.

She was angry with Castle; she really was. But then she opened the door and in pranced Royal, Castle at his heels, and she just couldn't help but smile, because as much as she wanted to deny it, the two of them were just so… adorable. That was the only word for it. And Castle being late bringing the dog home was so incredibly domestic that Kate felt the sudden urge to kiss him on the cheek to welcome him home, as if this was an everyday occurrence.

It could be. The thought was involuntary, though not particularly unwelcome, and it sent a shiver running down her spine. All she had to do was say seven little words: I remember, and I love you too, and all of this would be over, one way or another. She did love him; she knew that. And it wasn't as if she hadn't said these words a thousand times in her head. In the hospital, after he'd kissed Selena Kaye, in the bank vault, with the tiger, at Ryan's wedding, and so many other moments, little moments that didn't mean anything. But Castle would look at her in that way that he always did. Or he would just be standing there, or God forbid sitting in that damn chair. And sometimes absolutely nothing would be happening; or sometimes she wasn't even with him, and it would just… hit her.

It was a different experience every time. Sometimes it was warm and comfortable, an absolute truth when she was torturing herself with worries. And other times, it was the worry, a stabbing, heart-wrenching guilt that shot adrenaline through her body so quickly it felt like she'd had a bucket of hot water dumped over her head. It wasn't that she was scared of loving Castle; she was scared of not being able to make it work, of losing him in one of the hundreds of ways she'd imagined she could. Because though there were so many ways she imagined them together, there were just as many of them apart.

So yes, she knew she loved him, but she also had this annoying little voice in her head all the time, whispering that she still had to heal. But really, what did that even mean? "Healing?" How did a person know when their emotional wounds had scabbed over and turned to scar tissue?

Kate covered her internal debate by railing on Castle about being late, and then about letting Royal sit on his couch. She knew she would eventually give in and allow the dog on her own couch, but she wasn't ready to admit that just yet.

"Oh, and he loves it when you rub him right between the eyes; just little circles with your thumb," Castle explained as he grabbed her hand and pushed her sleeve back. "Just like this."

And then he was touching her, rubbing soothing circles across the back of her hand. They had a very specific, nonverbal agreement on these kinds of things, physical contact that went farther than accidental-on-purpose finger grazes when he handed her coffee and the occasional shoulder bump. And what he was currently doing was most definitely off limits.

Kate tried to keep her body calm and motionless, her heartbeat steady, and her breathing controlled. She failed miserably. His touch was so innocent, and yet it sent electricity coursing through her body and heat to her core. There was no denying how his ministrations, however good intentioned, were making her feel.

She didn't allow herself to feel this way, not about Castle. If she let herself feel like this, she would either burst into flames spontaneously, or maybe just slowly melt away to a puddle on the floor. So she didn't feel this way, she didn't think the thoughts currently in her head.

Looking up at him was definitely out of the question, but she did it anyway. The look in his eyes, a mix between I-didn't-plan-it-to-go-like-this-I'm-sorry-please-don't-shoot-me and please-don't-make-me-stop-I-want-to-touch-you-forever mingled there. She shivered again, because there was also an undercurrent of love in his gaze. It was always there, but she so rarely allowed herself to recognize its presence that it felt like a punch to the gut every time she did.

It really didn't help that at this moment she was thinking about what his hands were doing, how talented his thumb was, and wondering what other skills he'd been hiding from her.

Only just stopping her mind from taking a detour through the gutter, Kate broke the spell of the moment.

"Castle," she said, really not knowing where she wanted the rest of the sentence to go. The logical, practical, you're-not-healed-enough-yet, voice in her head wanted to thank him for finally dropping off Royal and show him politely out the door. But the not-so-logical, very much emotionally ready voice was screaming at her to "Fuck it. No wait, him." Luckily for her, Castle made the choice between the two easy.

"I should be going." He said hurriedly, turning towards the door before looking back over his shoulder. "Don't miss me too much." He flinched and looked at Kate, apology written in the tight smile on his face. "The dog, not you." He explained hastily, waving a hand as if to say But you knew that, of course. Stupid me. Then he walked to the door without another word. His hand was on the knob before she finally found the breath to speak.

"Castle?" He turned around a little too quickly to be passed off as nonchalant, his eyes giving away the hope she knew he was trying to hide.

She didn't know how to do this. There were distinct and clear-cut reasons why they were still "just partners" or friends, or whatever they were calling themselves these days. But all at once she realized all those reasons were just excuses. Yes, she had been shot, and she'd lost her Capitan and mentor, and she was still healing, still breaking down that wall. And true, she was still scared shitless, but not that she would just be another notch, another conquest. And yes she was still scared of losing him, of doing something to drive him away, of getting caught up in the fear and running. But most of all, she was terrified of the what if, of the possibility that she would never know what it felt like to truly be loved by the man standing in front of her. She was petrified that she might never be ready, and she would never give them a chance. And she knew he, they, were worth the risk.

She had told him after that first case that he had no idea how good it could've been, but the truth was that she had now idea how good they could be. She did now though, and, in a rare moment of calm, standing in her apartment with everything she ever wanted standing in front of her, waiting for her to speak, Kate decided to hell with healed, she was ready.

Taking a deep breath, she took a small step forward as she spoke.

"Stay."

That one little word seemed to smack Castle in the face. He looked dumbfounded, completely incapable of speech. He just stood there for an eternal moment, before a smile spread slowly across his face, and he finally moved.

His hands and lips were on her before she could so much as blink.

Palms on her cheeks, he kissed her, hard. She let out a soft moan as his tongue ran the length of her lower lip. Her lips parted for him and her hands snatched at the front of his shirt.

She was a little worried this was a dream; she'd had this dream before, so often since that night a year ago. No, that was a lie; she'd started having these dreams long before they'd kissed, probably closer to their case with Agent Shaw. Or was it the mistress case? Kate couldn't really remember when it was exactly that she'd started dreaming about Castle, but she knew this, right now, couldn't be a dream as she pulled roughly on the fistfuls of shirt she held, and his weight shifted against her. His entire body was sending scorching flames dancing along her own.

All she could think as his hands moved slowly to the base of her spine was that she was kissing Richard Castle. But no, that was wrong, because it had been so long since he'd actually been Richard Castle, her favorite author, to her. No, she was kissing Castle, her Castle. The thought made her gasp; well, that and the fact that her Castle's very hot and very talented mouth had just abandoned her own in favor of peppering wet kisses down her neck and was now sucking gently at the nook where her neck met her shoulder.

Kate nipped playfully at his earlobe in retaliation and reveled in the low groan the action drew out of him. A small laugh escaped her lips, but turned into a moan when she felt his hands slid over her butt, grasp her thighs, and lift her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her head falling back at the new friction between their bodies. Biting down on his neck as he began making his way towards her bedroom, Kate couldn't help but remember everything they'd been through in the past year. And he still didn't know she remembered. No, this definitely wasn't perfect, but did it have to be?

Just as this question threatened to dump ice water on the moment, because as much as she wanted to not be the sappy romantic, she did want this to be perfect, she felt Castle jerk sideways, colliding with what she assumed was a doorway. He cursed loudly into her shoulder and they both heard a bark from the living room. Royal.

"How did we forget about the dog?" She asked, smiling as he gently set her back down on her feet.

"This is why I shouldn't have a dog! Always getting in the way." Castle replied overdramatically, shutting his eyes and leaning against the doorjamb that created their problem in the first place.

His face was so frustrated, and his annoyance obvious. But there was still a hint of a smile on his kiss-swollen lips. It made her love him even more.

And then it just washed over her again, how so incredibly much she loved him. The smile vanished from his face when she slowly slid her fingers into his hair, her palms cradling his jawline as her thumbs rested on his cheekbones. Her heart rate sped up as adrenaline coursed through her, but she had to say it. Not because she needed him to know she lied, but because she needed to say the words she'd felt for so long. Trying to convey as many of her emotions as possible through her eyes, she took a deep breath.

"I love you too." She swallowed hard, waiting for his reaction.

Kate watched as surprise, love, delight, and then confusion, recognition, hurt, and anger all painted his features in quick succession. She forced herself not to look away, to wait and accept whatever admonishment he decided to deal her. To her surprise, his face settled into acceptance and contentment.

"We will have this conversation, Kate. But right now, all I want to do is to get Royal set up for the night, and do a lot of not talking with you." He smiled briefly down at her shocked face before kissing her once more, just far enough beyond chaste to have her chasing his mouth as he turned and walked briskly back into the kitchen. She stood there for a second, unable to move; hearing the water running in the sink seemed to snap her out of it though, and she quickly decided not to overthink it, and went to find a blanket for Royal.

Returning from her bedroom, she laid the blanket on the floor next to the water dish. When she straightened, she found Castle at her side, pulling her close as he spoke.

"I forgot to tell you something earlier," her heart dipped, but his arms tightened around her waist. "I love you."

AN2: Alright, so I hope you enjoyed that. Back to annoying details.

In the next week (hopefully on Monday, depending on how soon I get the next chapter of "Moments" up) I will be changing my pen name. Ideally I'd like to change it to Lyndsey0334, but my plan is to PM all of you who follow me or my stories once I'm made the change. I'm hoping that will lessen the confusion, and I'm really sorry to all of you because if it wasn't for my own naiveté when I created my profile, I wouldn't have to change my pen name at all. But, alas, I now feel it is necessary. So if you guys have any questions for me about anything, PM me or put them in the reviews. I'm always glad to hear from you guys.

Oh, and please review and tell me what you think about this chapter! Thanks.