AN: I am a terrible person for making you guys wait this long for an update. I'm really sorry. I have been busy, but I've also had trouble getting words on paper.

But here's my version of Eye of the Beholder. I've always loved this episode because of all the jealousy. Enjoy. (And review please.)

"That he won't wait for you, or that he will?"

It was a simple question really, but Kate just couldn't answer it. Was both an option?

She wrote the last line in the file she'd been trying to finish for a good twenty minutes and slammed it shut, wondering where Castle was and what he was doing.

When had she become the girl who couldn't think about anything other than her crush? For that matter, when did she become the girl who used the word crush to describe her feelings for someone? She was an independent, strong-will woman, not some infatuated seventeen year-old. And Castle wasn't just a crush; he was… what exactly? Her partner? Her friend? Her future husband? The love of her life?

Ugh. Good grief, pull yourself together, Kate berated herself as she stood from her desk and walked right into the path of Castle. The lack of caffeine is his hand did not go unnoticed, but neither was it her primary concern.

"Hey," he said, as casual as could be, and she just couldn't quell her curiosity. Her focus never left his eyes, but she couldn't stop her brain from searching her periphery. Two years ago she had been able to see Ellie Monroe all over him, and she'd been too angry about Natalie Rhoades to really look properly. But this time she just couldn't tell, or maybe she just didn't want to.

"Hey, I figured that you were with Serena." Did she really just say that? She had been hoping all morning that he wasn't, trying desperately to get the image of the two of them waking up next to each other out of her head. But now that he was here, she had to know for sure, one way or the other.

"No, she had a meeting with her bosses this morning." Oh, so that meant… Kate felt like her entire body was crumbling to dust around her. She couldn't breath, after all her lungs were rubble. But by some miracle, she managed not only to speak, but to feign relative disinterest.

"Oh, so you already saw her this morning?" She couldn't look him in the eye anymore, but she had to ask the question. Because if she didn't just ask, she would keep wondering if she'd gleaned his unspoken meaning correctly, and hope that she hadn't. She needed to be certain, and she was still holding onto that last shred of a possibility.

"No she texted me," he sounded confused, but Kate simply did not care, she was in the process of reassembling herself. He hadn't slept with her, and didn't that count for something? Though her heart did no action resembling soaring, it felt a bit lighter. At least it was no longer laying brutalized on the floor, which she saw as a good sign, until Castle caught onto her meaning.

"Oh, you thought that we were-"

"Yeah," she cut him off; the awkwardness of it all was too much. She had to fix it somehow.

"I mean, you know it's pretty obvious that she really likes you so…" She started picking at her nails.

Yes, this was her way to stave off awkwardness, Kate thought to herself. Give the man you love advice to go out with another woman.

This conversation was not going well.

"Is it?" He sounded genuinely surprised, didn't he? Had he really not noticed the way Serena looked at him? Well, it was obvious he hand noticed the way Kate looked at him, a fact she couldn't decide was a blessing or a curse.

"Mhmm."

"So then you think I should… pursue it?" He looked as if he didn't even want to ask the question, much less hear her answer.

Her face twitched involuntarily into what she could only imagine was an expression of the disgust that she felt at the prospect of him pursuing anything with Serena Kaye. But she quickly schooled her features, replacing the mask she'd put on every morning since he'd walked into her hospital room, and making sure it wouldn't slip again.

This was the moment, she realized, that she'd been dreading. The moment she'd have to lie to him. Because she didn't have any claim over him, as much as she wanted to. At this point, she had no right to tell him not to pursue something in which he was clearly interested. So in this moment she would lie, and hope that he would be a better person that she, that he would see her pain and spare her more, not that she deserved that courtesy.

"You know, I mean suit yourself." Even as she said the words, her head shook side-to-side of it's own volition. It was as if her body knew how much the lie hurt her heart, and was trying anything to make him not believe it.

He looked at her for a second, and she couldn't decide if he'd bought her act or not.

For once, she was happy to see Esposito walking up to interrupt them.

Esposito was way too observant for his own good; pretty soon she was going to kill him. They were looking for incriminating evidence in Serena's hotel room; it was hardly the time for him to psychoanalyze Kate's motive for wanting to bust her.

If she could just find something, anything that would connect Serena to the fist, she would be gone. Kate just wanted her gone. She knew she should want justice, should want to catch the killer above all else. And it wasn't as if she was happy Serena might be a murderer, but if she was, that would get her out of their lives that much faster. Kate wasn't proud that that's how she felt, but neither could she deny it.

When she finally found the emails, Kate smiled, glad Espo wasn't in the room. The evidence was circumstantial, but it was enough to at least bring her in for questioning. The "tools of the trade," as Espo put it, in her luggage, however, were more than enough to arrest her.

They did still have to get out of the room though.

It didn't really matter if Serena saw them at this point; they were going to arrest her anyway, but Kate had already sent Castle the text telling him to stall her.

Opening the door, Kate looked up and her heart turned to lead. He was kissing her. Her Castle was kissing that… that… She didn't even have a word for her at this point.

Kate's heart and head pounded, though the extra blood to her brain did nothing but remove coherent thought completely. If she wasn't so shocked she would maybe be in tears, or maybe she'd just slap them both. Yes, anger was a good emotion, or at the very least one of the less painful ones.

"Hey!" The word came out of her mouth without permission. She had wanted to seem unaffected, but even she could not deny the hint of jealousy in her voice. Nonetheless, the exclamation had the desired effect.

Castle detached his face from Serena's, rather loudly, and they both looked with surprise at Kate.

"Detective Beckett, what are you doing here?

Well, it was a valid question, and Kate spluttered to remember the answer. Her brain was far too muddled with the pain radiating from her heart. But it didn't take long for her to remember, she was going to relish this moment."

"Arresting you for theft… and murder."

Despite her intense desire to, Kate refrained from putting Serena in handcuffs; she knew it would only make her jealousy more evident.

Right now all she wanted to do was get into the interrogation room, her room, her comfort zone, and tear Serena apart. But no, of course she couldn't do that, because Castle decided to play the hero for his new girlfriend.

Eww; that thought almost made her vomit.

"Wait, so now you're telling me you don't think she's in on this?" How could he not? Was he so smitten that he was ignoring the evidence entirely?

"Why would she tell me she was a thief? Why would she offer that up?" Was he really that naïve?

"Because she's feeding you just enough truth so that swallowing the lies is easier." Kate couldn't believe they were having this conversation. They had agreed Serena was guilty, what exactly had she done on this "date" that had changed his mind?"

"I don't think she's behind this?"

"Yeah, well you're thinking with the wrong body part." She hadn't really meant to say that, hadn't wanted to bring up the kiss at all, but it just slipped out.

"It was only a kiss." Of course he would think that. As she listened to the rest of his spiel, she couldn't help but wonder, was there's only a kiss too? She knew better, she really did. He loved her; she had long since accepted his declaration. Every once in a while she would catch a glimpse of it, when he didn't think she would notice. But the truth was, Kate couldn't help but feel threatened by Serena. She wasn't the territorial type, but the clenching in her chest could not be ignored.

The worst realization was that she had caused this. It had been her plan that had led Castle to kiss Serena. The heartbreak she was currently feeling was no one's fault but her own.

Unwittingly, Castle put her own thoughts into words.

"I was trying to give you enough time, so that you could search her room."

"Yes! The room." Kate was done feeling sorry for herself, because she'd been right. She'd found the evidence they needed. "The room where we found the suitcase, and the emails, which all stands as evidence against her right now." Why couldn't he see that?

"I just think we should give her a chance to explain."
"We? No there is no way we are going in on the interrogation together." She could hardly look at him right now, much less go into her room with him and do what she had to.

"Oh come on." He was whining, still not understanding just how much this was affecting her. At this point, she didn't even care if he thought she was jealous, because she was.

"I'm sorry Castle." Was she? "But right now, based on this conversation, and your behavior in that hotel," she was letting her anger show again, but she wasn't stopping at this point, "it's obvious" she turned the knob and began backing into the interrogation room, "that you have been compromised."

Kate turned her back on him, but before she could so much as take a step she felt his hand land on her forearm and pull her to the side, closing the door as her back hit the wall and his body crashed into hers.

There was nothing that could possibly compare to the weight of him against her body, except maybe the feel of his lips pressed against hers. Oh how she had waited for the moment when she would taste him again. Long ago had she given up trying not to imagine their sweet caress when she looked at him. Long ago had she stopped blushing when he handed her her coffee the morning after one of her dreams about him, this. How could she have ever thought she might be afraid he'd wait for her? This was all she wanted, and no matter what happened later, she knew she had always wanted this.

And then his hands were in her hair and she couldn't suppress the slight moan that left her lips. Because that felt almost as divine as being able to rake her hands across his back under his jacket, furiously searching, seeking out every new place she could finally, finally touch. She steadied her hands at his side for an instant before closing her fists tight around his shirt and tugging him closer roughly, needing him as close as she could get him.

And that was the thing, she could do this now. She could be aggressive and pull him to her, and snake her tongue into his mouth, and, oh, trail her thigh up his to eradicate an space that could possibly still be left between them.

She could do this now, because he had crossed the proverbial line that she'd drawn in the sand on that swing set, and oh did she love him for it.

Kate really needed a little air, but she did not want to break his lips from hers. It should probably have mattered to her that not an hour before those lips were attached to Serena's, but it didn't. It was that simple. All that mattered was that he was kissing her, nothing else, not her scar, not her so-called need for healing. Just this, his lips on hers.

Fortunately, she didn't have to care about any of that, or her lack of air because not two seconds after she thought it, Castle did it. As he panted slightly against her cheek and kissed down her neck, the logical section of her brain regrettably started yelling at her again.

They should not be doing this, not here anyway, and definitely not now. She had a suspect to interrogate; one she would now be able to stare down without jealousy or doubt. Not to mention the fact that Ryan and Espo were in the observation room about ten feet away, waiting for her to start getting answers from Serena.

As she thought this, Castle's mouth reached the lowest stretch of skin left exposed by her turtleneck. He paused for only a second before pulling the fabric down and sucking gently on the crook where her neck met her collarbone.

The logical section of her brain immediately fell silent.

The muscles in her fingers, arms, and legs contracted, forcing him against her. They were now so close she could feel his abs contract at the friction.

"We have to," Kate breathed into his ear as his kisses made their way slowly back up to her lips. She didn't want to say this, but the only thing worse would be getting caught. "Stop."

He groaned into her mouth and she couldn't quite tell if he was protesting her words, or praising her lips; she figured it was probably a little bit of both.

All too soon, however his tongue left hers again and he took a small step back, allowing her to uncoil her leg from around his. He moved his hands from their position at in her hair to cup bother of her cheeks in his palms. Then he stared hard into her eyes as they both tried to regulate their breathing.

After a moment of nonverbal communication that meant everything to her, he leaned forward, touching his forehead to hers.

"Now, that is what it looks like when I kiss someone and it means something."

AN2: I hope you liked it. And again, sorry for taking a month to post. I also wanted to apologize for not giving a warning for the bit of language in my last post. I was going to say something in the note, but I forgot. I hope nobody was offended by it.

And if you're waiting for Moments, hopefully I'll have something up today, maybe tomorrow (but I can't promise anything because I'm perpetually breaking those promises).