Chapter 18 – Calm Council

As Autumn turns to Winter animals' activities wind down; with only the juvenile carolling just before Christmas on the social calendar. This year, however, Otter seemed busier than ever. He took leave from his regular magisterial duties, but a hundred other things seemed to fill his days: advising Ratty and Cola on the charitable work they had taken over; investigating the extent of Fox's debts and deceptions; inquiring after Toad, who seemed to have vanished as completely as Fox and discovering, much to his surprise and alarm, that Toad too had substantial debts; trying to have the remaining goblins evicted from both Toad Hall and The Earth; but most of all trying to re-house Badger before winter really came to the Wild Wood. In the last – and most awkward – task he had the help of Portly. Badger had volunteered to coach Portly in preparation for the Oxford Entrance Examination. Badger was no college man, but nevertheless was something of a scholar. However, he soon found that his grasp on Latin had slipped, as he explained apologetically to Portly.

"I expected to have trouble with the future conditional, but the fact is, my boy, that I can hardly remember the third declension, and I fear that the irregular verbs have escaped me for ever."

Portly, who had hardly progressed beyond 'amo, amas, amat', was relieved at a delay in a lot of hard and unpleasant study, but also alarmed at Badgers deterioration. "We must get him out of there," he told his father that night, "even if we have to dig him out, like an old badger from his hole. And it must be soon: every time I go there I find it more difficult to find his front door and go in – and I've been doing that all my life!" Badger was not easily persuaded, but Otter was persistent, and Badger had to admit that his arguments were sound; eventually an action plan was agreed and put into motion.

At long last Otter had managed to get the keys to The Earth from the bank, for the place was heavily mortgaged and Fox had defaulted on the payments. The goblin squatters were gone, but had taken everything of worth with them and left the place a squalid mess. A small army of weasels were sent in to fix and clean the place. Then a gang of ferrets, organised by the redoubtable Sidney, hefted all Badger's prized possessions and much of his furniture out of the Wood and carted it to The Earth. Finally, Badger, escorted by Otter, Portly and the new Ma Ferret, made slow procession through the Wood and across the village to The Earth. Much of their route was lined by rabbits, hedgehogs and mice who all doffed their caps and cried out "good old Badger" as they passed. At the open front door of The Earth stood Ratty and Cola, there to welcome Badger to his new home.

When all the well-wishers had gone and Badger was sat down in his favourite chair before a blazing fire, Portly brought in a surprise guest to greet him. "Hello Badger," said the newcomer, "it's me, Mole."

"Why young Mole," exclaimed Badger, "I've not seen you for a long, long while! We thought you might be lost. Doing alright are you? Married like Ratty?"

"Still a bachelor, Badger. Sorry not to have visited you lately, I've been away and – well - busy."

"He's only got an important City job, haven't you Mr Mole," enthused Portly.

"Ha, ha! Didn't I say I had great hopes for you, Mole," said Badger, struggling to his feet to shake Mole's hand.

"Did you, Badger? Well don't listen to Portly; I'm just a small cog in the machinery of government; a humble clerk, that's me!" said Mole, but the twinkle in his eye said something more.

"What do you think of this place then, eh?" asked Badger, gesturing towards the room's enormous windows. "You and me, we used to be very keen on underground living. Do you think I'll get used to this? Still got your little place I trust?"

"It's gone for good, Badger, I'll never see it again. I thought I would miss it terribly, but I haven't: I'm living out of a suitcase in a tatty rented room in the City, the very heart of the Wide World, and I'm having the whale of a time!"

"Your young still, Mole, and not stuck in your ways like me. By all means have a little fun while you can, but let me give you a piece of advice: don't leave it too late to get married and raise a family. Otherwise you'll end up as a crusty old bachelor. Friends have been very good to me, but there is something special about family."

The following morning there was a "council" meeting at The Earth and Badger found himself invited. They sat around the dining room table on which were stood ornate oil lamps, for the curtains and shutters were tight closed. Among them were Otter, Ratty, Ma Ferret and the wizard Radagast. Badger sat next to a small individual with greasy, slicked-down hair whom he realised must be the new Chief Weasel. On his other side was a rather mousy little man in a dog collar Badger thought must be the local curate. There was no sign of Mole. At the head of the table was a person whom he did not recognize but who looked familiar, and next to him was Cola, who was acting as minutes secretary.

The chairman began by welcoming Badger. "You may not recognize me sir," he said to Badger, "for we have only met once before. I was the impertinent reporter who door stepped you not so long ago." There were apologies for absence from the few remaining stoats, who were unable – they said – to send a delegate. Otherwise every section of the local community seemed to be represented. They began by reporting on the local animals and how they were coping. Cola took notes, which when later written up included the following:

Squirrels: Only chairman and his wife are fully human, all other squirrels believed to be regressing.

Mice: Curate reports that he and his family are human. Other village mice nearly so.

Hedgehogs: Schoolmaster reports he and his fiancée are now human. Ditto village hedgehogs, others believed to have regressed.

Stoats: Most have migrated already. Final party to go in new year.

Ferrets: Many Wild Wood ferrets have moved into town. Ma Ferret and extended family to remain in Wild Wood.

Rabbits: Most have regressed, a few are becoming human.

Weasels: Chief Weasel declined to report.

There followed a long, and sometimes argumentative, discussion about property and homes. It is one thing to cease to be an animal, another for a hole in the ground to become fit habitation for a man and his family, even by the standards of the rural poor who gladly accept a tumble-down hovel as shelter. The solution for many was diaspora: to surrounding areas, to the Town and even to the City. The Chief Weasel grudgingly admitted that many weasels had 'up sticks' and moved into the darker parts of the City, where they appeared to be thriving. Many ferrets had, with Ma's blessing, moved to new-built homes in the expanding Town. "There is work for them there," she said, "in the new factories that are springing up. Many have been taken on as munitions workers."

The Earth, which Otter was renting, was not only Badger's new home, but also temporary housing for a large family of rabbits and an elderly – and very confused - hedgehog. Ratty – now known to the wider world as 'Mr Vole' – reported on the charitable work funded by the departed elves.

Finally, the meeting got around to the vexed question of Toad and Toad Hall. "Most of the goblins that were in the grounds left soon after the elves," reported Otter. "They broke into the house and took Radagast's chest and all the valuables they could lay their hands on. Fortunately, they did not damage the place as they did here."

"You are fortunate that they did not set fire to the place," remarked Radagast.

"Have the police been informed?" asked the curate.

"Yes," said Otter, "though I did not tell them that the gang was goblin. The trouble is, without Toad we are hard put to describe their loot. And they seem to have disappeared as mysteriously as they arrived."

"And so has Toad, I believe," added the Chief Weasel, "Leaving big debts behind him I hear."

There was consternation all round at this. The chairman banged on the table for order. "Does anyone have news of Mr Toad?" he begged. There was silence. "Mr Otter, is this true? Mr Toad has debts?"

"Debts? Yes, many of them; Toad has not paid a bill in months." Otter stood and waived his hands to quieten the uproar. "Please, let me finish. Toad left many little debts behind, many to people who could not afford to wait. Badger and I have been settling those between us."

"That's true," piped up a rabbit, "Mr Badger himself paid me what Mr Toad owed for tobacco."

"There are some bigger debts," continued Otter, "Some claims I'm sure are fraudulent, and somehow Toad has been landed with bills Fox should have met. They will all have to wait for Toad's return. I am sure he has the resources to pay all that is due."

There was some discussion on the topic of the equally missing Fox and his family, but again no one had any news: all that was left of Fox were un-settled bills. After that the chairman closed the meeting and the "council" was at an end.

Soon, only Badger, Radagast, Ratty, Cola and Otter remained behind. They were joined by Portly who had been hanging around in the hallway. Ratty asked the wizard, "You kept quiet about your box being taken. You used to be very concerned about it falling into the wrong hands?"

"My chest is empty now, but I still don't want it falling into the hands of men; you humans are far too curious for your own good." There were some puzzled looks. "The materials it's made from and its manner of construction are dwarfish secrets: not safe for men to have. I have used the seeing stone, the palantír, to locate the chest and the goblins who took it. A message has been sent to the dwarves in Wales and the rest is up to them; I have pressing business elsewhere."

He came to his feet, "I stayed for this meeting to make sure everything was going smoothly. Well, I can see I'm not needed here. I shall make my way to the City and thence to France and Germany."

"Germany?" exclaimed Otter, "You have had news of Toad?"

"No. There are bigger matters requiring my urgent attention. I have an agent in the City; from what he told me only last night, Saruman has finished his business here and is off to the Kaiser's court to work from that side. It looks as though, for purposes of his own, he is fomenting war in Europe. I have to thwart him if I possibly can. Look to see me in the spring."

The river bankers sat stunned as Radagast strode theatrically from the room.

"He never mentioned an 'agent in the City' before," said Otter after a minute or so, "I wonder who that could be?" Nobody spoke, and none of them noticed that his son Portly was struggling not to laugh and spill the secret Mole had confided in him.