When it was time again for Kurt to go down to the hospital with his dad, he was feeling a bit jumpy. For once he knew he'd actually have something to do while he waited for his dad: He was going to spend a whole hour with Sebastian.
Kurt still hadn't decided if that was a good idea or a crazy one, but was determined to give it a shot anyway.
As Burt went into the clinic to get treated, Kurt took the elevator and headed for the 11th floor. He was carrying his blue bag on his shoulder, and it clinked with every step he took. He was also carrying a small plastic bag with more supplies for Sebastian. He'd brought the scissors, but also decided to add a couple of other things, just for kicks. There were little golden star stickers, rainbow post its, smiley faces and glitter.
Kurt knocked softly on Sebastian's door but no response came from inside. So he waited for a couple of seconds before knocking again, but still nothing happened.
He opened the door and walked cautiously into the room. And then he realized there had been no response because Sebastian was asleep. Kurt hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do.
Kurt didn't really want to leave, but he didn't want to wake Sebastian either. Seeing as he was already in the room, Kurt decided to leave the bag with the supplies he'd brought for him in the corner table. Kurt walked slowly across the room, trying to make as little noise as possible, which was a little difficult considering the bags he was carrying. The plastic bag was especially noisy and Kurt was sure the second he put it over the table the noise would wake Sebastian.
Once he reached the corner table, Kurt put the plastic bag on the table, being immensely careful as to not make too much noise. He was about to turn around and leave when he noticed something on the floor. It was Sebastian's journal. It was far away from the bed, and from the position it was in, it was evident that the journal had been thrown. Kurt was disappointed, figuring Sebastian didn't want it. So he kneeled down to pick it up. While he was down, he decided to take a look inside just to see if Sebastian had done anything with it.
As soon as Kurt flipped it open he noticed Sebastian had actually started using it. Although it was not quite what he expected.
The first instruction in the book said, "Add your own page numbers, starting here!" With an arrow pointing to the bottom right corner of the page, but instead of writing down numbers, Sebastian had used the blank corners of the pages to draw a stick figure man walking. Every page flipped had the man in a different position and Kurt smiled as he quickly went through them and saw the little man run and jump.
He went back to the second page, which said: "Leave this page blank on purpose." The page was black with white lettering, and Sebastian had written, "No, fuck you, I want to write here." with the Whiteout pen. Kurt had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing out loud at that. It seemed Sebastian was determined to do things the opposite way instead of following instructions.
'Fill this page with circles' - Sebastian filled it with squares and triangles and... Clouds?
'Color this entire page' - Sebastian left it blank, except for a small "No." written right under the instructions with a blue ink marker.
'Fill the page with one word' - He'd written in a whole bunch of different words: life, sun, beach, food, and sex. Kurt had to admit it was very interesting.
It was like Sebastian was trying to make a point of not wanting to use the journal, while using it. Kurt smiled; at least Sebastian was doing something with it, which was the whole point. Kurt kept turning the pages, looking at Sebastian's doodles until one page caught his attention.
The instructions read: 'Do a really ugly drawing (use ugly subject matter: gum, poo, dead things, a badly drawn bird, mold, barf, crud.)' and Sebastian had drawn a bag with a yellow label that said CHEMO in dark bold letters.
Kurt felt something twist inside him, and suddenly felt like he had just violated Sebastian's privacy. He shouldn't be looking into this book, even if it wasn't an actual journal. So he closed it and got up from the kneeling position he was still in. Right when he turned around, Sebastian opened his eyes and yawned.
"Kurt?"
He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Sebastian, hi... sorry I was just, bringing you some stuff and you were sleeping and so I thought I'd just-"
Sebastian laughed, interrupting Kurt's nervous rambling, "Relax... Stop talking so fast, you're gonna give me a headache."
Kurt bit his lip as Sebastian sat up in the bed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you."
"It's okay, I didn't realize I fell asleep..." Sebastian groaned as he got out of the bed. Kurt was relieved to see Sebastian was wearing a pair of blue sweatpants under the hospital gown.
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked as he saw Sebastian rubbing his temples.
"Yeah, I'm just tired. Who knew being in bed all day was so exhausting?" He joked, and Kurt smiled at that, until he realized Sebastian was staring at his hands where he was holding the journal.
"Oh I just picked this up... why was it on the floor?"
"I'm just following instructions." Sebastian said, stretching out his arms and yawning.
Kurt frowned.
"It said I had to throw it... so I did."
"Oh..." Kurt said, smiling nervously, Feeling a little embarrassed for not figuring that out on his own. After all, the name of the book was "Wreck-it Journal" for a reason. You were supposed to cut it, stain it, bend it, and apparently, also throw it around.
Sebastian stood up from the bed and put on put on his slippers. Kurt felt a little intimidated as Sebastian approached him, but relaxed once he realized Sebastian was actually aiming for his duffel bag, which was in the floor next to the corner table.
Kurt tried not to stare as Sebastian zipped the bag open, taking out a gray beanie and putting it on.
"Head gets cold." He said, walking back towards the bed and leaning on it. Kurt just nodded.
"What's in the bag?" Sebastian asked.
"Oh I brought you some more stuff!" Kurt said, grinning widely as he handed it over to Sebastian, who rolled his eyes and started laughing once he started going through the things that were inside.
"Red glitter, seriously Kurt?"
"And there's blue too! Dalton colors, I figured you'd like them."
"You're insane…."
"It might come in handy!"
Sebastian just glared at him, but Kurt could tell he wasn't really angry. Kurt was beginning to realize he actually enjoyed annoying Sebastian a lot.
"So, what else do you have there?" Sebastian said, eyeing Kurt's blue bag suspiciously, since it was noticeably stuffed.
"Oh… I brought a little game so we can play!" Kurt said a little too enthusiastically, zipping his bag open and taking it out.
"Jenga?" Sebastian said, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't tell me you don't like Jenga, everybody loves Jenga." Kurt said, and Sebastian smirked.
"Oh I like it alright, and I'm also good at it!"
"Really?" Kurt replied, "We'll see about that."
And so they sat in the hospital bed, one in front of the other, placing the table used for Sebastian's meals across the bed so they could play on it. They started off sitting cross-legged over the bed, facing one another, but as the game escalated they ended moving so much that there were times in which Kurt had one leg on the bed and the other on the floor. One time, Sebastian even stood up from the bed and walked over to the opposite side just to stick a wooden block in a place he couldn't reach.
Time flew by as they played over and over again, keeping score of how many times it was Sebastian or Kurt's fault that the small wooden block tower crashed. So far, Kurt was winning, and Sebastian was determined to beat him. They built up the tower and made it crumble to the floor so many times that Kurt had tears in his eyes from laughing so much. Sebastian's annoyance every time Kurt won was just hilarious.
As they continued playing, Kurt couldn't help but realize that this was the first time he'd ever seen Sebastian smile and laugh genuinely. Every time Kurt had seen Sebastian smiling before he had been either mocking, bragging or insulting someone; but right now he seemed relaxed and happy.
In fact, Sebastian seemed to be a little too happy, especially since Kurt made the tower crumble and that tied the game. Sebastian was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach as Kurt got off the bed to pick up the blocks that had fallen to the floor.
Suddenly the door opened and Mrs. Smythe came in, along with another woman Kurt had never seen before. And judging by Sebastian's sudden change in demeanor, he hadn't either.
"Kurt! Oh what a nice surprise!" Mrs. Smythe said as she entered the room. She went over to Sebastian's bedside and leaned over to kiss his head. Kurt felt his heart melt a little at the sight of that affectionate moment, and wanted to smack Sebastian for not returning any kind of loving gesture to his mom. He seemed suddenly guarded and uncomfortable, a complete change from how relaxed he was just seconds before.
"What were you boys doing?" Mrs. Smythe asked, her smile wide and looking clearly excited to see Sebastian had company.
"Oh just playing a little Jenga." Kurt said, smiling and looking expectantly at everyone in the room, feeling like he was the only one who didn't know what was going on. There was definitely some sort of unspoken tension and Kurt soon found out what it was.
"Bastian, this is Dr. Mitchell. I told you about her, remember?"
"It's nice to meet you, Sebastian." The doctor said, politely.
Sebastian just nodded at the woman, lips pressed in a tight and forced smile. There was a brief moment of awkward silence and Kurt felt suddenly out of place. He knew he should probably leave, but his things were all over the place. He'd put his bag on the corner table, his coat over the chair by the window and the Jenga blocks were all over the floor and bed.
"So, is this like, a therapy-intervention or something?" Sebastian laughed, but was clearly not amused.
"Sebastian..." His mother warned, giving Dr. Mitchell an apologetic look, but the doctor just smiled.
"No, not at all..." She said calmly and smiling all the while, "We can't force you to attend therapy, Sebastian. I'm just here because your mother asked me to come and tell you about other alternatives that you might like better."
Sebastian just raised an eyebrow as the doctor pulled out a pamphlet, holding it out for him.
"Support groups?"
"Yes. Support groups can be vital in helping patients and families cope with cancer. Cleveland Clinic offers several different groups which hold weekly meetings for cancer patients and cancer survivors."
Sebastian wasn't looking at Dr. Mitchell as she spoke; he was looking at the pamphlet, his expression unreadable. Mrs. Smythe looked like she was holding her breath with every second that passed before Sebastian finally looked up and replied.
"I don't know..."
"You should give it a try honey..."
"You'd be surprised to see how much it helps sometimes to hear about how others are coping with their Illness." Dr. Mitchel continued, "To talk about things you're going through helps a lot, especially when the people listening are in a similar situation."
"How do you know? Are you a cancer survivor, Dr. Mitchell?" Sebastian asked defiantly, and for the first time Kurt saw Mrs. Smythe actually roll her eyes, clearly embarrassed by her son's behavior.
Being a psychologist meant that Dr. Mitchell probably had a lot of experience dealing with unwilling and hostile patients, because even with Sebastian's condescending tone she didn't lose her composure even for a second.
"I'm not," She started, holding Sebastian's petulant gaze and offering a smile in return, "but I have counseled cancer patients for over 12 years; and I've seen many patients who weren't sure about attending support groups change their minds after giving it a chance. I have yet to find a case in which they regretted going. If anything, they've regretted not going sooner."
Sebastian squinted his eyes before looking down at the pamphlet again. Everyone in the room fell silent as Sebastian flipped it over.
"Could I bring someone with me?" Sebastian asked, and Mrs. Smythe's eyes went wide.
"Well... I'm afraid the Wednesday meetings are for patients only." Dr. Mitchell responded, to which Sebastian smirked, looking suddenly pleased.
"Well..." He responded, mocking her tone, "I won't go by myself, I want Kurt to come with me, or I'm not going."
Kurt thought he'd misheard for a second; surely Sebastian couldn't possibly be serious. Kurt was frozen in the spot, Sebastian wasn't even looking at him, but Mrs. Smythe and Dr. Mitchell were.
"Um..."
"The reason this group is for patients only is because it represents a safe place to talk about difficult things and feelings that patients usually don't feel comfortable sharing with loved ones." The doctor said, turning to look at Sebastian again. "But there's another group on Friday afternoons and those meetings are open to parents, friends and caregivers too."
"Oh, that's great!" Mrs. Smythe said, smiling expectantly as she looked at both Kurt and Sebastian. "You could go to that one Bastian, to give it a try, you might even like it!"
Sebastian sighed. "Fine... But only if Kurt goes with me." He said stubbornly, crossing his arms and looking at Kurt with an unreadable expression.
Kurt felt like his face was on fire as Sebastian's mother and the doctor turned to stare at him as well. Everyone was waiting for what he had to say and quite frankly his mind was blank.
"Um... Friday what time?" He asked, nervously.
"The meetings start at six, and they're about two hours long on average." Dr. Mitchell responded.
"Oh... Okay, sure." Kurt said, smiling nervously. Because how on earth would he say no when Mrs. Smythe's hopeful eyes were fixed on him?
"Oh! That's wonderful... Thank you Kurt!" Mrs. Smythe said, looking fondly at him, and Kurt managed to feel slightly better, but that lasted only about two seconds because when he turned to look at Sebastian he looked like he was ready to kill someone.
"Great. It's settled then." Dr. Mitchell said, sounding very pleased. "I really think you will like it Sebastian, and hopefully after you see how it is you'll want to give the other group a chance as well."
Sebastian didn't say anything. He didn't even nod; he just stared at the three of them and then decidedly at the wall.
"Okay, I'll walk Dr. Mitchell back to her car, I'll be right back honey." Mrs. Smythe said, smiling widely. She muttered a silent 'thank you' towards at Kurt before leaving the room with Dr. Mitchell.
Once they were out the door, Sebastian turned to Kurt, threw his pillow at him and yelled "God dammit Kurt!"
"What?!" Kurt said, startled by Sebastian's sudden outburst.
"You were supposed to say no!"
"How was I supposed to know?!" Kurt said; with a murderous look on his face as he threw the pillow back at Sebastian and smacked him in the face with it.
"You can't just… argh!" Sebastian was flabbergasted when the pillow hit him and it took him a second to compose himself as he fixed his beanie from where it almost fell off his head. "You can't just drive all the way down here twice in a day!"
"Um, yes I can... actually." Kurt said defensively, guarding himself in case Sebastian retaliated with the pillow again, but Sebastian just groaned in frustration.
"This is your fault!" Kurt accused, "You put me on the spot! What was I supposed to do?"
"I was just..." Sebastian stumbled upon his words; "You're driving your dad here almost every morning, so I figured you must have been working afternoon shifts or something..."
Kurt frowned, wondering what Sebastian meant by that.
"...And since the support group meets in the afternoons, you wouldn't be able to come. I was counting on that! Don't you have to work?"
"Um... No, I don't."
"You don't have a job?" Sebastian said, skeptically.
"No…" Kurt said, "I mean I did... But when my dad got diagnosed I moved back to Ohio and had to quit."
Sebastian squinted his eyes. "You weren't in Ohio?"
"No, I was in New York."
"New York? But I thought you were..." Sebastian seemed thoroughly confused, "Never mind."
"What?"
"I thought you were working at the Lima Bean."
"Oh..." Kurt said, suddenly embarrassed. "I did, but that was months ago." He could feel his cheeks heating up with a blush. "How did you know?"
"I used to live there, remember?" Sebastian said and they both laughed. But Kurt was still confused.
"But I never saw you in all the time I worked there."
Sebastian stared at him and shook his head. "Yeah that's cause I was avoiding the place."
Kurt frowned in confusion, and Sebastian was suddenly serious.
"You were avoiding the Lima Bean..." Kurt said, cautiously, "Why?"
Sebastian sighed and looked at the window, staying thoughtful for a minute before responding.
"I went there once. You were with Blaine and some other girl. I saw you when I walked in, and was about to go over to your table. But then I noticed some other girl started giving you crap about her order..."
Kurt felt his stomach drop just a little bit at the memory that Sebastian's words brought back.
"She was bitching at you about an ice latte or something, and well... You looked miserable enough as it was, without having me comment on the ridiculous scarf you were wearing. So, I just turned around and walked out."
"You walked out." Kurt repeated, not quite believing what he was hearing.
"Yeah... and I avoided the place ever since." Sebastian confirmed, shrugging like it was no big deal. "It's not like I couldn't get coffee elsewhere."
Kurt was puzzled, not quite knowing what to make of Sebastian's sudden revelation. He remembered going to work at the Lima Bean every day for the first couple of weeks, dreading the moment Sebastian would walk through the doors and he would have to take his order. Kurt wasn't looking forward to having to endure the mockery that was sure to come from Sebastian, especially since he had pretty much predicted Kurt's situation. Just the thought of it was humiliating to him, and so Kurt had even come up with a few possible comebacks that wouldn't get him in trouble with his supervisors in case Sebastian decided to show up and be an ass to him in front of them.
But it never happened, Sebastian never showed up at the Lima Bean, and now Kurt knew why.
"Well, now we have to go to the stupid support group. We're screwed!" Sebastian said, changing the subject.
"Come on Sebastian, it can't be that bad." Kurt said, rolling his eyes. Sebastian was being such a big baby about the whole thing; it was getting on his nerves.
Sebastian just huffed, shaking his head, and Kurt didn't know what to say anymore. Maybe he was the one really screwed after all.
Author's note: I actually loved writing this chapter so I hope you guys enjoyed it too! A little break from the angst right?(kinda, I know.) So, hope you can let me know what you think! :)
In next chapter, Kurt and Sebastian go to the support group and some other things will happen. So stay tuned ;)