Author's note: Okay, so this chapter is long. But I couldn't split it anywhere. You like long chapters though, right? I hope you do. A lot of stuff happens in this one, so I hope you can tell me what you think.
Also, a little disclaimer here: Even though I have done a LOT of research for this story, and try to keep things as accurate as possible, it is still a work of fiction. So keep that in mind and thanks so much for reading. I can't believe there is almost 250 of you subscribed to this little story.
Okay, will shut up now. Enjoy the chapter!
It was five in the morning, Kurt's room was quiet and dark, and the only things in sight were the bright red numbers from the nightstand clock. Kurt glanced at them and then closed his eyes again, snuggling under the covers.
His body was so used to getting up before sunrise every other day to go to the hospital with his dad that he often woke up minutes before his alarm even had to go off.
There was no alarm today though, because they didn't have to go to the hospital. Yet Kurt was wide awake, thinking about going anyway but for very different reasons. Kurt tossed and turned in bed for a long time until he finally gave up on getting any more sleep. He felt restless and torn, his emotions making it impossible for him to fall back asleep.
Kurt was feeling frustrated because he had already made up his mind before going to bed last night. He had decided that he was not going to visit Sebastian until Sunday when he went down to the hospital with his dad again.
Unfortunately, Kurt could not stop his brain from being completely incapable of thinking of anything else other than Sebastian.
Kurt wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep, but he couldn't, not when his mind was reeling. He couldn't stop worrying about Sebastian getting chemotherapy again today, because he knew that it was going to be hard. He kept replaying the conversation he had with Sebastian the night before in his head over and over again.
They were both sitting in the hospital bed. Sebastian was reluctantly eating his dinner while Kurt sat at the other end of the bed eating the strawberry jell-o that came as dessert. They'd been eating in companionable silence for a little while when Kurt finally dared to ask.
"What's it like?"
"What, the chicken?"
"No... I-I mean..." Kurt stuttered, "You know... the che-"
"Chemo?" Sebastian blurted out, interrupting him.
"Yeah..."
Kurt could feel himself blushing, and Sebastian just sighed, looking down at his food, poking it with his fork and for a moment Kurt wondered if he had been out of line asking about that. "Sorry... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
Sebastian looked at him and shook his head, "It's fine... I just don't really know how to explain."
Kurt nodded understandingly.
"It's the worse thing I've ever gone through. It's just awful... But it's different every time." Sebastian said, taking another bite of chicken and looking at the window, squinting his eyes.
"There are some things that never change though..." He continued, "It hurts sometimes, it burns... I get really hungry but then can't eat because I'm feeling nauseous all the time. It kinda gets better after a few days but then I feel like I got run over by a truck or something. It's exhausting."
Kurt hated being sick and couldn't imagine how horrible it must be for Sebastian to feel all those things at once.
"This time it's supposed to be different though, or at least that's what they're aiming for. The doctor said they adjusted the drugs or whatever..." Sebastian said, making fake quotation marks with his hands and rolling his eyes. "So maybe it will be better, but it could actually be worse. I guess I'll find out tomorrow."
"Hopefully it will be better." Kurt told him with a sympathetic smile as he finished the rest of the jell-o in the little plastic cup.
Sebastian snorted, "Yeah... I hope so, cause I feel like a freaking lab rat."
Kurt got up from bed and walked downstairs. There was no use for staying in bed if he was just going to lay there wide-awake. So he thought maybe getting a glass of water would help him stop worrying about Sebastian and keep his resolve of staying home.
Once he got to the stairs he saw his dad in the living room, sitting in the dark with the television on, though with no volume at all.
"Dad?"
"Hey bud."
"What are you doing up? Are you okay?
"Yeah just... couldn't sleep."
"Are you in pain? Do you need anything?"
"Kurt I'm fine." Burt said, smiling, "I just couldn't sleep so I came here. Didn't want to wake Carole with my constant moving around the bed. What are you doing up?"
Kurt sighed, "I couldn't sleep either."
Burt looked at him for a while, studying his expression in the dim light of the room. Kurt was still deep in thought, looking blankly at the television screen.
"Is something bothering you?" Burt asked, and Kurt just sighed.
"It's about Sebastian."
"What happened?"
"Well... He is getting chemo today and I'm just a little worried. I don't know."
Burt just nodded and they stayed silent for a little while.
"Are you going to visit him today?"
Kurt was startled by his father's question. "Uh... I don't know- I mean, I can't."
"Why not?"
"Well, we don't have to go to the hospital today and..."
"So? You could still go if you want to, Kurt." Burt said, as he started getting up from the couch, "If you're up at this hour thinking and worrying about him, you should go."
"But... what about Carole's birthday plan-"
"We can talk about it when you come back."
Burt stood in front of Kurt giving him a knowing look. "Look Kurt, if you don't go, you'll probably spend all day wondering how he's doing. You'll be worried and moping and regretting not going. So go."
As much as he hated it, Kurt knew his dad had a point. Burt just knew him so well.
"Go get dressed and I'll make coffee." Burt said, walking towards the kitchen and leaving Kurt in the still dark living room.
When Kurt arrived to the hospital, he was feeling giddy and even a little nervous. Sebastian knew Kurt didn't have to come to the hospital until tomorrow, so he wondered what Sebastian's reaction would be when he saw him today.
Kurt had no idea what to "bring" for Sebastian this time. He didn't know if Sebastian would be up for playing some more Jenga or if he would be sleepy or in pain. With every step Kurt took towards the Oncology Ward he felt more and more insecure about coming to the hospital. But he was there now; he couldn't go back.
When Kurt finally got to the elevators, he decided to just take a deep breath and calm down. He pushed the button and waited, staring at the numbers as the elevator came down floor by floor. When the elevator doors finally opened Kurt was surprised to see Mrs. Smythe come out.
Kurt greeted her with a smile but it quickly faded away when he realized she was crying.
"Oh my god Kurt!" She said, hugging him tightly and for a minute Kurt panicked, thinking something bad happened to Sebastian.
"I'm so glad to see you here..." She wiped her eyes with a tissue and tried to compose herself, "Sebastian told me you weren't coming today."
Kurt felt his face heat up, "Yeah, well... my dad didn't have to come today, maybe that's why."
"You came just for him?" Mrs. Smythe asked with a warm and teary smile and Kurt just nodded.
"Is everything alright?" Kurt asked and Mrs. Smythe took a deep breath.
"They started him on the chemo about one hour ago, but I can't stay any longer because I have a conference in Illinois." She said, clearly feeling torn about leaving her son during this difficult time. "I'm already late for the airport."
"Oh..." Kurt pressed his lips in a tight line and gave her a sympathetic smile. "When are you coming back?"
"Monday morning, I'll be here Monday morning."
Kurt nodded. "I'll keep him company Mrs. Smythe, don't worry." He said, trying to cheer her up, and Mrs. Smythe squeezed his hand affectionately.
"Thank you Kurt."
After speaking with Mrs. Smythe, Kurt was feeling better about having decided to come to the hospital after all. When he got to the eleventh floor and walked out of the elevator, he realized the door to Sebastian's room was open. He stood in the doorway and looked inside cautiously. Sebastian was sitting in the bed, wearing his blue Dalton sweatpants and the usual hospital gown. The bed was set in a vertical position so Sebastian could sit resting his back on the pillows, but his head was turned to the left, facing the windows.
Sebastian still hadn't noticed Kurt was in the doorway, which gave Kurt a few seconds to just stand there and look at him. Sebastian's face was turned to his side so Kurt couldn't see the expression on his face, but everything about him and his empty room seemed sad. It was visiting hour, and there were people in other rooms, yet Sebastian was alone.
Well, not anymore.
Kurt knocked on the door, causing Sebastian to turn and see him. The surprise was evident in Sebastian's face once he saw Kurt coming into the room.
"Kurt? What are you doing here?" Sebastian asked with a confused smile.
Kurt walked up to Sebastian's bed and sat down in the edge of it. "Well… I knew you'd miss me if I didn't come, so I just came to check up on you."
Sebastian rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. Now that Kurt was sitting closer to him, he was able to see that Sebastian's eyes were rimmed red, and his nose seemed a little puffy. Kurt wondered if Sebastian had cried after his mom left for the airport.
"So... How's it going?" Kurt asked.
"Oh, it's a walk in the park." Sebastian replied, pointing to the IV pump standing right next to him.
Kurt smiled. He was happy to find Sebastian in fairly high spirits. "That's great, maybe it won't be so bad this time then?"
"It's too soon to tell..." Sebastian sighed, "I have to sit here and marinate in this toxic waste for a couple of hours to actually see what it's gonna be like."
Kurt pressed his lips tightly, smiling sympathetically at him. "It kind of looks like kool-aid or something."
Sebastian snorted. "Yeah, I'll probably pee red for days."
They both laughed at that. Kurt looked at Sebastian and realized he had his journal in the bed next to him.
"Are you still working in the journal?"
Sebastian grabbed it, flipping through the pages. "Kind of... there's still a lot of stuff to do, but I haven't felt like doing anything lately." He reached over to the bedside and grabbed one red crayon and a black marker. Kurt stayed silent as Sebastian started drawing something in one of the pages.
A couple of seconds later Sebastian handed the journal over to Kurt. When he looked at the page Kurt was impressed. Sebastian had drawn the kool-aid man, but with horns and a trident.
"This is actually really good... I didn't know you could draw Sebastian."
"Yeah well..." Sebastian shrugged, "I don't know if you can call that drawing. It's just something I do for fun."
Kurt stood up and went over to the bedside table, opening the small plastic box and pulling out a few crayons. He sat in the bed and started sketching too. Sebastian stared at him curiously as Kurt held the journal over his lap.
When Kurt handed the journal back to Sebastian, he took a look at Kurt's drawing and started laughing out loud.
"What is that?"
"It's my version of the kool-aid man!" Kurt said, indignantly.
"But it's green, and it kinda looks like a diaper."
Kurt smacked Sebastian in the leg, and they both laughed. "Green is actually my favorite, and it doesn't look like a diaper!" Kurt protested, taking back the journal from Sebastian's hands and looking at both their drawings. Sebastian was definitely better at drawing than Kurt would ever be, but he wasn't going to admit defeat just yet.
They started teasing each other, Sebastian drew things and then challenged Kurt to draw his version of them to see who did it best. Kurt was determined to draw things better than Sebastian, and sometimes he did. They started by drawing simple things like dogs and houses, but then escalated to more complicated things like helicopters and human faces. By that point it was evident Sebastian was always going to beat him, so Kurt decided to try and do something else.
He handed Sebastian back the journal and when he saw it he frowned. There were 8 small lines in a row and an upside down L.
"What's this?"
"Let's play hangman." Kurt said, and Sebastian laughed.
"Are you serious?"
"What? Are you scared of losing?"
Sebastian seemed offended, "Definitely not!"
Kurt stood up and dragged over the small table from the corner putting it near the bed in front of Sebastian so they could place the journal there while Sebastian guessed the letters. He started with the vowels, but the word didn't have the letters A, E, or O, so Sebastian already had a head, chest and an arm on his hanging stick-man.
"I haven't played this since middle school."
"You have to try other letters too, not just vowels you know?"
"Shut up! At least tell me what kind of word it is."
"But that's cheating!"
"No, just tell me if it's a thing, or a place or a name... something!"
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "You're such a cry baby..." Sebastian glared at him, so Kurt finally budged. "Fine, it's a place."
Sebastian squinted his eyes and looked down at the page, trying to come up with what place it could possibly be.
BU _ _ _ I _ C _
Unfortunately for Sebastian, he couldn't figure out the word before his little stick figure man was hanged. Kurt was trying really hard not to laugh at Sebastian's completely baffled expression. He couldn't believe that he lost. It was hilarious to watch.
"Fine, I lost... are you gonna tell me now?"
Not trusting himself to talk without bursting into hysterical giggles, Kurt took the journal and completed the letters that were missing.
"Bushwick? What the hell? I'd never heard of that place before!" Sebastian protested.
"You need to get out more," Kurt teased him, "Bushwick is a neighborhood in Brooklyn, it's where I used to live with Rachel last year."
Sebastian just glared at him. "Whatever... Now it's my turn!"
Sebastian grabbed the journal and kept it for a few seconds. When he put it back in the table, there were 8 spaces as well. Kurt started guessing the letters and every time he messed up Sebastian was more than happy to draw one more stick-figure body part.
Kurt looked down at the page and remained thoughtful, wondering what word it could possibly be. Kurt didn't want to ask Sebastian for any clues, that way when he guessed the word he could tease him about it.
His stick figure only had one leg left before he lost. So Kurt needed to figure it out.
"I could probably draw him a hat too, you know?" Sebastian teased him, "To give you more opportunities to guess my word."
Kurt just rolled his eyes and shook his head, giving the letters in the page another look, and in that moment it hit him.
_ E _ _ AT _ O
"Oh my god!" Kurt exclaimed, "Fellatio? Is the word seriously fellatio?"
Sebastian laughter confirmed it, and Kurt could not help but blush a little as he glared at him before filling out the remaining letters.
"What? You're the one who started with weird and complicated words... I made it easy for you. Blowjobs are awesome!"
That made Kurt snort, "You're unbelievable."
"Yup..." Sebastian replied with a wink. "And so are my blowjobs!"
At Kurt's mortified expression, Sebastian started laughing out loud, holding his stomach with both hands and falling back on his pillows.
"Sebastian!" Kurt reprimanded, "There are people outside... someone might hear you!"
Sebastian didn't seem to care about it though, because he continued to laugh. Kurt was laughing too, even if he was still shaking his head in disbelief. Suddenly, Sebastian sat up straight again and wiped the corner of his eye but then he grabbed his chest and his face contorted into a painful expression.
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, but Sebastian didn't reply. He just took his hand and covered his mouth with it, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths.
"Nothing..." Sebastian whispered between breaths, "I just... feel a little nauseous." He put his hand over his chest and sighed. Kurt stayed silent but he could already feel dread pooling up inside him. Was Sebastian going to start feeling sick now? Had the chemotherapy started to hurt him already?
"Do you want some water?" Kurt asked and Sebastian nodded.
Kurt got up from the bed and walked over to the corner table where there were two water bottles. He handed one of them to Sebastian and watched as he slowly drank a little of it. Kurt remained silent as Sebastian put the bottle in the bedside, waiting to see if Sebastian felt better of if he needed anything else. But Sebastian just looked at Kurt, handing him the journal. "Okay... now it's your turn."
Kurt spent almost 3 hours with Sebastian in the hospital. Time flew by as they played some more rounds of hangman, watched TV, and talked. Every half an hour or so, the nurses came into the room to check on Sebastian until it was time to unplug him from the IV once the chemo was all done.
Kurt wished he could have stayed longer but the fact was that he needed to be back home. He had a lot of stuff to do. Carole's 45th birthday was next Saturday and Burt wanted to celebrate it with something special. They were planning on throwing a party, and even though they had already invited most of the guests, Kurt still had to help Carole figure out some of the logistics of the whole thing. They were going to host the party at their house, which meant moving around furniture and figuring out what food they were going to prepare for that day.
So Kurt left and got home right on time to catch Finn, Carole and his dad sitting in the living room, watching a game. He joined them for a while, and then he and Carole went to the kitchen and started planning out for the party.
Kurt loved these kinds of things, and he was more than excited about getting the chance to decorate the house with tasteful floral arrangements. He already had some alternatives in mind, so he used his laptop to show Carole all the different possibilities and color combinations. Carole was fascinated with everything Kurt was showing her, and in the end they decided to decorate the party with purple and silver combinations.
It was a challenge to get everything to look fantastic and dreamy while they were working on a tight budget, but Burt wanted to throw Carole a special party and Kurt was determined to make it happen. They were spending a lot of money on his dad's radiation treatments, but that didn't mean that the party had to be something small and insignificant.
Later that evening, when Kurt and Carole came back to the house after running some errands, Kurt thought about Sebastian and wondered how he was doing. Right before dinner, Kurt decided to text Sebastian to ask how he was doing.
To Sebastian Smythe:
Hello! How are you feeling?
Kurt waited and waited, but Sebastian didn't reply. Kurt couldn't help but worry, even though he knew Sebastian usually didn't pay much attention to his phone. It wasn't until much later, when he was done with his moisturizing routine and was ready for bed, that he received a response.
From Sebastian Smythe:
Meh...
Kurt frowned, that response was really vague, but he was glad Sebastian had at least responded with 'something'. Kurt wasn't going to push for conversation if Sebastian wasn't telling him much, so he decided to type a quick text before getting into bed.
To Sebastian Smythe:
Hope it's not going too bad... :-/ I'll see you tomorrow! :-D
Kurt usually didn't mind using emoticons when texting, but somehow after sending his last message he felt stupid for adding two of them in the same text. The truth is Kurt always felt a little self conscious and awkward whenever he texted Sebastian. Hanging out with him in the hospital wasn't as weird anymore, but somehow texting him still felt a little intrusive and weird for him.
Sebastian didn't respond after that, and Kurt figured he'd have to wait until tomorrow to see how he was actually doing.
The next day came and when Kurt went to the hospital again, he knew something was wrong the second he stepped into Sebastian's room.
Sebastian was lying down on his side with his back to the windows. He was hidden under the covers, curled up into himself with his face buried in the pillow. He wasn't wearing his beanie, which was odd since Kurt knew Sebastian didn't like to have his head exposed. Kurt thought Sebastian was asleep but quickly realized he wasn't when he heard him groan quietly.
Kurt held his breath; feeling conflicted about what to do. Should he be there if Sebastian was feeling sick? Would his presence make Sebastian feel better, or worse? Kurt was at a loss of what to do, but suddenly Sebastian opened his eyes and stared at him.
Kurt waved shyly, studying Sebastian for a reaction, "Hi..."
Sebastian heaved a sigh and tried to smile, "Hey Kurt."
Kurt walked slowly into the room and Sebastian turned to rest on his back, wincing a bit when he stretched his legs. By that time Kurt had walked up to the edge of the bed, as usual, but he didn't sit down like he always did. He just stood there, not quite sure if he should stay or leave.
"How are you feeling?" Kurt asked and Sebastian just shrugged, running one of his hands over his face and head.
Kurt gave him a tight smile, feeling worried and out of place all at once, but then Sebastian sighed again and tried to speak. "It's just..." Sebastian started, but didn't finish his sentence.
Kurt stared expectantly at Sebastian, but he didn't say anything, he just closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. After a few minutes, Sebastian started breathing heavily, and Kurt panicked as he realized it was because Sebastian was trying to hold back tears.
"I'm just so sick of this." Sebastian cried, flinging his arm over his eyes, probably wanting to hide from Kurt in his moment of vulnerability. Somehow watching Sebastian like this made Kurt's chest tighten in a way he'd never felt before. What was he supposed to say? What could he possibly say to make Sebastian feel better when there were tears streaming down his face?
Sebastian wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks and tried to compose himself. Kurt noticed Sebastian's skin looked different that day, it had a strange kind of pink blush all over his neck and arms. Kurt remembered the red liquid in Sebastian's IV from the previous day and wondered if it had anything to do with that. Wondered if that was the reason Sebastian was in pain.
"I just need this to be over... I can't do it anymore." He sobbed, and Kurt took a shaky breath before daring to speak.
"You'll make it through this, Sebastian. I'm sure you will."
Sebastian laughed bitterly then, "Well, I'm not..." He said, turning over and resting on his left side, facing the windows. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before hiding his face into the pillow again.
"Please don't say that." Kurt pleaded, but Sebastian just shook his head and sobbed. All Kurt could do was stand there feeling completely lost about what to do while Sebastian cried inconsolably. He couldn't do anything but wait until Sebastian's cries started to die out.
"I was supposed to graduate this year..." Sebastian whispered after a few silent minutes, and Kurt almost didn't hear him because of how the pillow muffled his voice.
"Maybe you still can." Kurt tried to sound hopeful, but Sebastian sighed heavily.
"I miss school..." He confessed, smiling sadly. "I miss playing lacrosse, and peeking at the guys asses in the locker room."
Kurt couldn't help but snort silently at Sebastian's confession. He grabbed the chair from the corner and placed it beside the bed, closer to Sebastian than how he'd usually sit.
"I miss my hair too." Sebastian whispered and Kurt felt his heart sink because of how broken he sounded. "I was actually growing it out... But now it's gone." Sebastian tried to smile but it quickly turned into a grimace and he just hid his face further into the pillow. After a while, Sebastian's shoulders started shaking and Kurt realized he was crying again.
Kurt didn't know what to say, feeling a sharp pain in his throat, and tears stinging his eyes; so he decided to just reach out and hold Sebastian's hand instead, hoping the touch itself would offer more comfort than any of his words ever could. Sebastian's hand felt cold and limp as Kurt put his own over it. Kurt held his breath as he touched Sebastian's hand, waiting for a reaction, but there was none. Sebastian didn't flinch away, or even open his eyes; he just stayed right were he was.
Kurt didn't know what to say, or what to do to help Sebastian's pain go away, but he knew he could at least be there for him. Kurt was going to stay there and hold his hand for as long as Sebastian would let him.
Kurt breathed in, waiting a few seconds before daring to curl his fingers around Sebastian's hand. Kurt felt relief wash over him when he felt Sebastian curl his fingers as well, holding Kurt's hand in a tight grip. Sebastian sniffled and brought his hand a little closer to his chest, dragging Kurt's hand along with it.
The room was completely silent after that; the only thing that could be heard in the room was the sound of Sebastian's heavy breathing. After a while, Sebastian's breathing evened out and Kurt wasn't sure if he was still awake or not. Sebastian's grasp on his hand had loosened considerably, but Kurt didn't want to let go, even if the way he was leaning over to reach Sebastian's hand was not very comfortable. Kurt decided to use his free hand to pull the chair a little closer so he could rest his head on the edge of the bed.
Kurt glanced at the clock in the wall and realized he still had about forty minutes until his dad was done, so he was going to stay with Sebastian, holding his hand in case he woke up. Kurt put his arm over the bed and rested his chin over it, looking at Sebastian up close and just wondering what he was going through. He was definitely sleeping now. So Kurt dared to close his eyes too, focusing on the sound of Sebastian's breathing and trying to relax.
Kurt dozed off for a couple of minutes, but then the sound of footsteps coming into the room startled him. Kurt glanced up and realized there where three people standing on the other side of the bed, staring at him. He felt himself blush as he recognized Sebastian's father. There was a blonde woman with green eyes standing next to him, and a guy about his age right beside her. The guy had the woman's same green eyes, but his hair was darker, and his eyes were fixed on where Sebastian and Kurt's hands were clasped together. Kurt felt his stomach drop when he connected the dots and realized they could be the aunt and cousin Sebastian told him about.
"You must be Kurt," Sebastian's dad said, walking over to the other side of the bed where Kurt was sitting. "I'm Sebastian's father, Joseph Smythe. Nice to meet you." He extended his hand towards Kurt and he had to awkwardly shake it with his left one, since he didn't want to let go of Sebastian for fear of waking him up.
"This is my sister, Helen and my nephew, Alex."
"Nice to meet you." Kurt whispered, sparing a quick glance at them before immediately looking at Sebastian. Kurt was relieved to see he wasn't moving. Sebastian seemed to be fast asleep, and Kurt hoped with all his heart that he would stay that way. With how bad he was feeling the last thing Sebastian needed in that moment was to see them.
"How is he doing?" Alex asked, looking expectantly at Kurt and at Sebastian's dad.
"Um..." Kurt didn't quite know what to say.
"He started a new treatment yesterday..." Sebastian's dad started, his voice low and quiet, clearly trying to keep it down and not wake Sebastian up, "He was in quite a bit of pain because of it. He must be exhausted, but these new drugs are supposed to make him feel better."
"He looks so pale, and so thin, oh Joseph..." The woman whispered, looking at Sebastian's dad with concern. Her eyes were teary and longing when she looked at Sebastian's sleeping form, and Kurt wondered if what she was feeling was guilt, since she had not been in good terms with Sebastian for such a long time.
"He was awake when I came here a while ago," Kurt stated, and they all turned their attention towards him. "But he wasn't feeling well, I think it's best if we let him sleep."
Kurt knew it wasn't any of his business, but he felt very protective of Sebastian all of the sudden, and he didn't want to see him stress, which he knew is what would happen if he woke up to find his aunt there. Luckily for Kurt, they all seemed to agree, because everyone stayed silent after that.
Sebastian's aunt and father whispered amongst themselves from time to time, but Kurt couldn't quite make up what they were saying. Meanwhile, Alex just stayed in the corner, leaning against the window and looking down at Sebastian. Every now and then Kurt would catch Alex looking at him and Kurt wondered if the fact that he was holding Sebastian's hand bothered him. The guy didn't look judgmental though, he mostly just looked worried, or sad, it was hard to tell.
After a few more minutes, Sebastian's aunt excused herself. "I think we should get going now."
"Already?" Sebastian's father seemed disappointed.
"Yes, we need to go now if we want to make it to the twelve o'clock service." She said apologetically, "Alex is singing with the youth choir today, so we need to be there early."
"Okay, I understand." Mr. Smythe replied, "I'll walk you back to the car."
Before leaving, Sebastian's aunt spared one last glance at Kurt, who was still holding Sebastian's hand. Kurt stared right into her eyes, trying to read them, but she just gave him an awkward smile and said: "It was nice meeting you, Kurt."
Kurt wished he could say the same.
Mr. Smythe asked Kurt if he was going to stay for a while longer, and Kurt told him that probably not, since his dad would be done with his treatment soon and he would have to leave. So Sebastian's dad said his goodbyes to Kurt in case he was gone by the time he made it back to the room.
And then Kurt was alone with Sebastian again, and all Kurt could do was look at him and rub circles with his fingers over Sebastian's hand. Sebastian was sleeping, but his expression wasn't peaceful. His brows were slightly creased, and Kurt couldn't help but wonder just how much pain he was in.
Kurt's phone buzzed inside his pocket and he let go of Sebastian's hand so he could pick up. Sebastian shuffled under the covers, but didn't wake up. Kurt took a few steps back so he could answer the call.
"Dad?"
"Hey kiddo, I'm all done. Where are you?"
"I'm still with Sebastian." Kurt whispered. "But um... I'll meet you at the benches, okay?"
"Great, see you there."
Kurt hung up and looked at Sebastian, still in the bed, unmoving. He walked back to the side of the bed slowly and that's when he saw Sebastian's gray beanie peeking out from under the covers. Kurt reached for it slowly, pulling it out and carefully putting it over Sebastian's head. He didn't quite manage to put it on correctly, not wanting to risk waking Sebastian up with the hassle, but at least this way his head wouldn't get cold.
Kurt didn't know how he was going to work this out, but he decided right then and there, that this week he would visit Sebastian every day.
"I'll see you tomorrow Sebastian." Kurt whispered before leaving.
On Monday, Kurt decided he would take the morning to work on Carole's birthday party preparations, and go visit Sebastian in the afternoon. Kurt hoped that would give him the time to run early errands and visit several flower shops, and it would also give Sebastian some space to hopefully feel a little better before getting another visit from him.
Plus, Kurt knew Mrs. Smythe would already be back from Illinois by then, and so he wasn't too worried about Sebastian being alone.
When Kurt was getting ready to go to the hospital, he packed his bag with some of his DVD collections. He had Grey's Anatomy, and LOST, not sure which one Sebastian would like more. He also packed his Jenga again, in case Sebastian was feeling up to play a round or two.
Unfortunately when Kurt got to the hospital, Sebastian was asleep and he didn't wake up for the entire time he was there to visit. Mrs. Smythe was there though, and so Kurt ended up keeping her company instead. According to what she said, Sebastian had been in a lot of pain, and the medicine the doctors gave him to help him through it knocked him out completely. Mrs. Smythe promised Kurt she would tell Sebastian that he had visited, and Kurt decided to leave his DVDs with her.
On Tuesday morning, Kurt went to the hospital with his dad again and was more than happy to find Sebastian awake and going through season 1 of LOST. Sebastian greeted Kurt with a shy smile as he walked into the room, but Kurt could tell he still wasn't feeling very well. His skin color was back to normal, but Sebastian looked very pale. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked completely exhausted. If Kurt didn't know better, he could even think Sebastian hadn't slept in days.
Sebastian told Kurt that he had never actually watched Grey's Anatomy before, but that LOST was one of his favorite shows. Kurt decided not to ask Sebastian about the chemo, or how he was feeling, figuring he would rather talk about something else. After talking a little bit about the show and how hot Matthew Fox was, they just sat in companionable silence, watching the episode and commenting on it every now and then. Everything was going great, but before the episode was over Sebastian had fallen asleep again.
Kurt left the next episode running on the DVD player before heading back downstairs to meet with his dad.
Later that afternoon, when Kurt was home going over some recipes for Carole's cake, he got a text from Sebastian.
From Sebastian Smythe:
Sorry I fell asleep on you. Thanks for the DVDs.
Kurt smiled, and quickly composed a reply.
To Sebastian Smythe:
Don't worry about it, hope you enjoy them :)
On Wednesday, Kurt was debating whether to visit Sebastian in the morning or the afternoon. But then his dad told him he needed to run some errands and asked Kurt to drive him, so Kurt had to go in the afternoon instead.
With how many times Kurt drove to and back from Cleveland, it didn't seem to be as far as it was anymore. Later that afternoon when Kurt went to the hospital again, he was happy to find Mrs. Smythe sitting on Sebastian's bedside, reading a book.
Sebastian seemed to be asleep, so Kurt knocked softly on the door even though it was opened just so Mrs. Smythe would look up at him. She smiled excitedly and motioned for Kurt to come in. Kurt slowly walked into the room and Sebastian's mom got up from her chair to greet him with a hug.
"How is he?" Kurt whispered and Mrs. Smythe turned to look at her son, shaking her head.
"He is a fighter. But, he's just tired."
"I'm a what?" Sebastian groaned, stretching his arms and wincing a bit.
"Honey you're awake! Kurt is here."
"Hey Kurt." Sebastian yawned, and Kurt smiled when he realized Sebastian looked a little better than the day before.
"I have to go to the pharmacy to get some of your prescriptions," Mrs. Smythe said, reaching out for her purse, "I will be right back baby. Don't forget to call the nurse if you need to-"
"Mom!" Sebastian cut her off.
"Just promise me."
Sebastian rolled his eyes, seemingly mortified and Kurt was confused, not really getting what was going on. Mrs. Smythe didn't leave the room until Sebastian promised her that he wouldn't get out of bed.
And then they were alone, but Sebastian seemed annoyed at what his mother had said.
"So, did you finish season one?" Kurt asked, trying to break the tension. Sebastian looked up at him and smiled.
"Not really... I've been meaning to, but I keep dozing off."
"What episode are you in?"
"Four." Sebastian confessed, and they both laughed at that.
"It's okay... season one is the best anyway."
"That's true." Sebastian agreed.
Mrs. Smythe was away for almost an hour, giving them time to have a nice conversation about LOST and other TV related topics. Kurt then told Sebastian about Carole's party on Saturday, and about all the plans he had to make the night unforgettable for her. Sebastian asked Kurt if his parents were divorced and so Kurt told him about how his mom died when he was eight. Sebastian gave Kurt his sympathies, visibly regretting bringing up the topic, but Kurt assured him that it was okay.
Sebastian remained thoughtful for a while, and then he told Kurt about how his parents almost divorced when he was ten, but how they seemed to be okay now. Kurt talked to Sebastian about New York and how excited he was about going to NYADA in the fall. Sebastian confessed sadly that he was ready to fail his senior year, but that he hoped he could still get into Columbia even if the whole cancer thing pushed him back a year. Kurt tried to encourage him to study and try to see if he could graduate this year, but Sebastian didn't think he could pull it off with how bad he was feeling all the time.
Before they knew it the conversation turned really personal and Kurt appreciated the bits and pieces he came to know about Sebastian's life during the time they got to spend together. Like how Sebastian wanted to be an architect, and how he had a cat named Lily.
The truth is that with each day that passed, they were starting to trust each other and enjoy being in each other's company a lot, something that a couple of months ago would have seemed ridiculous to the both of them. Sebastian seemed at ease around him and Kurt was glad to be able to make Sebastian's time at the hospital less lonely. Visiting Sebastian during Burt's radiation treatments also helped Kurt get out of the dreadful waiting room, and for that he was grateful.
In the middle of their conversation Sebastian reached up to his head to adjust his beanie and Kurt noticed a huge purple bruise in his forearm.
"Oh my god, what happened to your arm?" Kurt asked, horrified.
"What, this? It's nothing." Sebastian tried, but Kurt was sure a bruise that big couldn't be 'nothing'.
"It looks painful."
"Looks worse than it feels," Sebastian sighed, "I just tripped... that's what my mom was going on about."
Kurt nodded, and Sebastian showed him his left wrist, where he had a yellow bracelet that read FALL RISK in dark black lettering.
"This shit is just so dramatic!" Sebastian ranted, "I didn't faint or anything, I just tripped and hurt my arm. Now I can't take a piss without having a nurse walk me to the bathroom."
Sebastian seemed to be really frustrated about his situation.
"Well, at least they didn't give you a diaper." Kurt remarked, causing Sebastian to burst into laughter.
Kurt was glad to at least make Sebastian smile every once in a while.
Hours later, when Kurt got back home, he was greeted by quite the unexpected scene. Finn, Sam and Blaine were sitting in his dining room table, drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies.
Kurt didn't miss the way Blaine's eyes scanned him all over as he walked into the house and hung his coat in the hall. Luckily for Kurt, no one asked him where he had been, and he was able to join them in their conversation.
Finn wanted the Glee club to perform a special song for his mom, but that meant adding more guests to the already tight list of people they had enough budget to invite. There were people in the list Kurt didn't really know: a couple of freshmen and new Glee club members that apparently Finn had grown fond of.
Blaine asked Kurt if he wanted to sing with him, going on and on about how lovely it would be to add a duet to the night's repertoire of songs, but as much as it pained him, Kurt said that he would be too busy with everything else going on at the party.
Kurt tried really hard to ignore the uncomfortable guilty feeling he got when he saw the way Blaine's face fell as he declined his invitation to sing with him.
Sam and Blaine stayed for a long time, going over the remaining details of the songs they had already been practicing for the party with Finn. Carole invited them to stay for dinner but Blaine didn't stay. Kurt just hoped it wasn't because of how awkward things currently were between them.
On Thursday, when Kurt got to Sebastian's room, he noticed the TV was on but Sebastian wasn't looking at it. Kurt thought Sebastian was asleep because he was lying down, with his back towards the door, facing the windows. However, when Kurt walked into the room to turn off the volume of the TV, he realized that Sebastian was awake. Kurt stood in the foot of the bed, waiting for Sebastian to acknowledge him, but Sebastian seemed deep in thought as he stared at nothing in particular.
"Sebastian?" Kurt asked, quietly, but Sebastian didn't respond.
Kurt felt uncomfortable just standing there, it seemed as if Sebastian hadn't even heard him. Then without warning, Sebastian was sitting up quickly and throwing up into a container Kurt hadn't even noticed he was holding under the covers.
Kurt froze as Sebastian heaved over the small metal plate. He didn't know what to do, so he left his bag in the corner and quickly walked over to Sebastian, handing him a tissue from the bedside table for him to wipe his mouth.
"Fuck..." Sebastian hissed, "I'm sorry... ugh."
Kurt handed him one of the water bottles but Sebastian turned it down.
"I can't." He mumbled before heaving again, only this time, he didn't throw up. It seemed like Sebastian's stomach was completely empty, yet his body still convulsed violently with the urge to vomit.
Sebastian fell back on the bed and pushed the button to call a nurse. Soon enough a nurse came to take away the metal plate and bring a new one.
Sebastian curled up on his side, and Kurt could see he was slightly shaking. He didn't understand how Sebastian could be so sick today when he seemed to be doing better the previous day.
Kurt just sat on the foot of the bed and waited for Sebastian to recover. After a few minutes Sebastian turned to rest on his back again, looked at Kurt and said: "Let's just pretend that never happened, okay?"
"Okay." Kurt smiled, "Are you sure you don't want some water?"
"I don't know," Sebastian sighed, "Sometimes water makes me nauseous too."
They stayed silent for a few moments before Sebastian started sitting up.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to go brush my teeth." Sebastian stated, and when he threw his legs off the bed Kurt stood up and helped him up.
"Aren't you supposed to um... call a nurse?" Kurt stammered.
"I'm fine."
"Sebastian..."
"Kurt."
They just stared at each other for a couple of seconds. "I'm not calling a nurse." Sebastian deadpanned.
Kurt couldn't believe Sebastian was being so stubborn. "Well, then I'm walking you to the bathroom." Kurt stated, grabbing Sebastian's arm and curling it around his own so he could support his weight on him.
Sebastian just rolled his eyes. "Fine, mom!"
"What's going on?"
Kurt and Sebastian both turned around to find Mrs. Smythe standing in the doorway, eyes wide and holding a cup of coffee in her hand.
"Sebastian what are you doing up?"
"Kurt is helping me go brush my teeth." Sebastian stated, walking towards the bathroom and Kurt had no choice but to go with him. "Its fine, mom."
Kurt realized Sebastian wasn't really leaning on him as he took small steps towards the bathroom, but he still kept his grip strong on his arm in case Sebastian tripped or anything. As Sebastian leaned down on the sink to rinse his mouth, Kurt caught a look of Mrs. Smythe's reflection on the mirror. She was smiling fondly, and Kurt wondered for a moment why that was.
Time flew by and Kurt spent almost an hour with the Smythes, talking to them excitedly about the party and everything he was doing. When it was almost time for his dad to be done, Kurt left with the promise of bringing them some of the cake so they could try it. Sebastian's mom was more than excited to try Kurt's cake and made him promise to take a lot of pictures from the party as well.
Kurt got to the first floor just in time to catch his dad leaving the clinic.
Kurt spent all Friday running around with last minute preparations. He just needed to leave everything ready that day because they wouldn't have enough time for anything else on Saturday. His dad had to go to the hospital and that meant they would be away practically until noon.
Kurt was happy, humming to his favorite songs as he baked the three-level cake for the party. He decided to use one of the smaller molds to make a small cake for Sebastian and his mom.
By the time Kurt finished, he had the big cake ready for the party, and a miniature version of it, decorated exactly the same, for Sebastian and his mom. Kurt smiled, hoping that they would like it.
He snapped a picture of it and texted it to Sebastian vía Facebook. Sebastian's response was unusually fast, and Kurt wondered if he was feeling better, of if the picture of the cake had anything to do with it.
Kurt: The cake is done... voilá! (Picture attached)
Sebastian: Is that thing even edible? It looks unreal.
Kurt: Of course! It's just an edible work of art ;)
Sebastian: How did you even learn how to do that?
Kurt: If I give you my secret, I'd have to kill you.
Sebastian: I don't need to know, just bring me my cake.
Kurt: You'll get it tomorrow ;)
Sebastian: Fine!
This party was a lot of work, but Kurt was happy and had everything ready, even if he finished with the last minute arrangements almost at one in the morning. He hated that he was only going to get a few hours of sleep, but he was too excited to care about anything else.
Saturday morning was tougher than Kurt thought it would be, he didn't know if it was the exhaustion of the busy week catching up with him, or if he was coming down with something, but Kurt was just incredibly tired. Even the drive to the hospital felt longer than usual, and so the first thing Kurt did when he got to Sebastian's room, after putting his bag and the cake in the corner table, was to flop over the feet of the bed, announcing he was taking a nap.
Sebastian started wiggling his feet, shaking Kurt and making it impossible for him to sleep.
"I want my cake... come on Kurt, give it to me!"
"Ughhh... stop it." Kurt groaned, smacking Sebastian's feet so he would stop moving them, but he didn't stop.
Suddenly, Sebastian got up from the bed, and once Kurt realized what he had done, he bolted towards Sebastian. Kurt's intent was to hold Sebastian to keep him from standing up alone, but the force of his sudden movement made them lose their balance and they ended up falling back on the bed.
"Oh my fucking god you're crazy!" Sebastian laughed.
"You're not supposed to do that!" Kurt squeaked, quickly getting off from where he'd fallen on top of Sebastian.
"So you just throw me back into the bed? Real smooth Kurt. Real smooth."
"Shut up. I'll get your cake!" Kurt said, trying to ignore how hot his face felt all of the sudden.
Sebastian just rolled his eyes and laughed as he sat back on the bed. Kurt held the cake in front of Sebastian but took it back every time he tried to reach for it.
"You can't eat it yet."
"Why not?"
"Because your mom needs to see it first. If you eat it without her, it will be ruined. I worked hard on this Sebastian."
Sebastian rolled his eyes, "You're evil... but okay, whatever."
Kurt put the cake back in the corner, and then went back to Sebastian's bed, lying down just like he was before. "Kick me again and I'll take away your cake." He threatened, and Sebastian just laughed.
Meanwhile in the first floor, Burt was done with his treatment for the day.
"You're all set Mr. Hummel." The nurse announced, helping Burt get down from the radiotherapy machine.
"Thanks." Burt said, walking towards the changing room, where he'd left his clothes. Once he got dressed again he took out his phone and realized it was almost twenty minutes earlier than usual. Burt smiled, happy to be able to leave a bit earlier, since they still had a lot to do for the party.
He knew even though it was only twenty or fifteen minutes, it could still make a big difference if they left quickly and Kurt would appreciate having more time to get ready for the party. However, when he got to the waiting room, Kurt was nowhere in sight.
Burt tried calling once, twice, and three times; but Kurt wasn't picking up the phone. Burt looked around and then glanced up at the clock in the wall before calling Kurt for a fourth time. When the call went to voicemail again, Burt was getting incredibly frustrated.
"Nothing's gonna change my woooorlddddd... nothing's gonna change my world!
Jai guruuuu deeevaaaa ooommmmm!"
"Ughhh... you are killing me." Kurt groaned, covering his ears.
"I'm trying to sing you a lullaby, Kurt." Sebastian snorted before continuing his loud singing: "Nothing's gonna change my wooorld!"
"You sound like you're being strangled."
Sebastian laughed out loud. "You've been sleeping for the past twenty minutes, and you're supposed to be keeping me company. I'm bored."
Kurt looked up at Sebastian, and then took the pillow he was resting in and threw it at him.
"Hey! What was that for?" Sebastian protested, running his hand over his head like the pillow had hurt him. "My head is sensitive!" He said, throwing the pillow back at Kurt.
"Where's your beanie?" Kurt asked.
"Threw up on it... so mom took it to the laundry."
"Ew…" Kurt frowned, "But… do you only have one?"
"Yeah."
Kurt raised an eyebrow, "When you get out of here, I'm taking you shopping for some new ones."
Sebastian was about to protest, but then his phone started ringing. He just glanced at it briefly and then turned back to Kurt.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know the number, so... no." Sebastian shrugged.
The phone started ringing for a second time, and this time Sebastian didn't even look at it.
"It could be important." Kurt said, walking over to the bedside and grabbing Sebastian's phone.
"Don't answer!" Sebastian warned, smacking him with the pillow repeatedly. But Kurt remained frozen as he recognized his father's number flashing through the screen.
"Dad?"
"Kurt, finally! What's wrong with your phone? I've been calling you for ages."
Kurt was completely startled.
"Sorry, I left it in my bag." Kurt said, walking over to the corner table and taking his phone out of his bag. He had 6 missed calls from his dad. "How did you-?"
"You weren't picking up, so I had to call Blaine and ask him for Sebastian's number."
Kurt felt like the entire world had fallen over him.
"Anyway, I'm done... and we should really get going, Kurt."
"Y-yeah... okay. I'm... I'm coming." Kurt stammered, dread pooling in his gut as he realized what his dad had just done.
When Kurt turned to see Sebastian, he was frowning, looking confused.
"How did your dad get my number?"