Author's note: I just want to thank everyone for the amazing feedback on last chapter. Thank you to everyone who has followed and favorited this story, and especially those kind enough to leave reviews with encouraging words. You're all so amazing!
Special thanks to my friend Lari for being my accomplice for this story, she is too awesome for words.
Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Kurt walked over to Sebastian's bedside and gave him back his phone.
"Kurt... How did your dad get my number?" Sebastian asked again.
"Um... I gave it to him," Kurt lied, "Last Friday, when I came here for the support group."
Sebastian looked at him warily and nodded silently before putting his phone in the bedside table again. Sebastian seemed to believe Kurt, and he tried to smile as best as he could as they said their goodbyes. It wasn't until Kurt was in the hallway, running towards the elevators that he let himself panic.
As he went down in the elevator to meet his dad, Kurt knew he shouldn't have lied to Sebastian, but he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know what his dad said to Blaine, and he needed to find that out first, so he could figure out what to do about it.
"Ready to go?" Burt asked, as Kurt walked up to him in the lobby.
"Dad, what did you tell Blaine?"
Burt frowned, surprised by Kurt's sudden question. "What do you mean?"
"What did you tell him? When you called." Kurt begged, and Burt just frowned, visibly puzzled by his son's distraught state.
"I just asked if he had the Smythe kid's number, cause I was trying to reach you but you weren't answering your phone."
Kurt sighed, "And... Did he ask anything?"
"No." Burt squinted his eyes. "What's going on Kurt? Why are you so upset?"
Kurt didn't know how to explain. His dad hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't his fault that Kurt hadn't told him about Sebastian's situation and how he didn't want anyone to know. Kurt was kicking himself for even mentioning that Sebastian was a Warbler in the first place. Now Blaine knew Kurt was with Sebastian and that could go wrong in so many ways.
So as they drove back to Lima, Kurt decided to tell his dad everything. Well, almost everything.
"You should have told me sooner." Burt said, after hearing everything Kurt had to say.
"I know. I'm sorry dad."
"Hey... You have nothing to be sorry about." Burt told him, squeezing Kurt's shoulder affectionately, "Look... I understand if Sebastian asked you to keep this a secret but Kurt, you have to realize things like these can't be kept a secret for long. And besides, you are not doing anything wrong, so you shouldn't be hiding."
Kurt hated how right his dad was, because no matter how much sense he was making, Kurt still felt guilty as hell. Kurt just hoped he could talk to Blaine about this before he talked to anyone else. But what was he going to say? Kurt knew he should have probably told Sebastian, maybe he could have helped him come up with something to tell Blaine, but Kurt really didn't want to make him stress. Sebastian had enough things to stress about as it was; Kurt needed to figure this one out on his own.
.
Kurt knew seeing Blaine that day would be inevitable because he was going to be at Carole's birthday party; but what Kurt never expected was for Blaine to already be at his house when he and his dad returned from the hospital.
Finn had Sam, Brittany and Blaine helping him move furniture and things around the house. They had to get a few things out and take them to the garage, so the four of them were making themselves busy.
The minute Kurt made eye contact with Blaine the tension between them was obvious. It was like Blaine's feelings were written all over his face, but he didn't say anything. Kurt could tell Blaine was trying really hard to keep it casual as he politely said hi to both him and his dad.
Burt saw what Finn and the rest of the guys were doing and offered to help, but Kurt quickly stopped him. He knew his dad felt excited about the party and was eager to help, but he needed to take care of himself after just receiving radiation. Burt started protesting but fortunately, Carole came outside and sided with Kurt, making Burt roll his eyes and hastily go up the stairs to his room.
Blaine just gave Kurt a quick once over and a tight smile before going back to helping Finn with what he needed. Kurt breathed in and bit his lip, feeling the tension escalating inside him as Blaine walked away. Kurt knew he had to figure out how to breach the subject with him at some point that day; he just hoped he could work things out in his head first.
The afternoon flew by in the midst of the rush of getting everything ready for the party. Finn had taken care of a lot of things while Kurt and Burt had been away, so Kurt was able to focus on the decoration, placing the lights and the floral arrangements around the house with help from Brittany and Tina, who had arrived early to help as well. Later, the rental company arrived to deliver the tables and chairs, and so Kurt and Finn were able to finish arranging the final details for the party, like the surprise chocolate fountain Burt had ordered for Carole.
They were running out of time, and as stressful as that was, Kurt couldn't help but be a little glad in a way because everybody was running up and down rushing to get everything ready and that meant there was no time or opportunity for Blaine and him to be alone. However, every once in a while, Kurt would catch Blaine looking at him and that made him feel a little nervous, especially because every time they made eye contact Blaine quickly looked away.
Kurt felt a mixture of anxiety, guilt and dread, and he never imagined he could feel like that around Blaine, the boy he used to love more than anything else. Kurt didn't like it, and he knew he needed to do something about it. He just wasn't sure what he was going to do.
Soon enough, everything was done and ready for the party. The house decorations nicely in place, the food set and ready in the kitchen, all tables and chairs in place, and the dim white and purple lights around the house and the backyard created a perfect mood for what was surely going to be an unforgettable evening.
As Finn and the rest of the guys were doing final sound checks for their musical numbers in the back of the house, Kurt was able to escape upstairs to check on his dad. He carefully opened the door of his room and found Burt sleeping in the bed. He looked so peaceful that Kurt decided to let him rest for a couple of more minutes until it was time for them to get ready for the guests to arrive.
However, as Kurt was about to close the door behind him, he heard his dad calling after him. Kurt came back into the room as his dad stretched out his arms and yawned, shifting in the bed and sitting up.
"Is everything okay?" Burt asked, sleepily.
"Yes, everything's ready dad, I just wanted to check up on you."
"I fell asleep."
"I know... How are you feeling?"
"I'm good."
Kurt smiled, walking over and sitting down in the bed next to his dad.
"Everything's ready then?"
"Yes, you can go back to sleep if you want dad. People won't start coming around until maybe an hour or so."
"Nah, I should probably take a shower to wake myself up properly or I'm gonna be sleepy at the party."
"I'm going to take a shower too." Kurt admitted with a tired smile.
Burt stared at him for a while before ducking his head questioningly. "Are you okay? Did you talk to Blaine?"
Kurt shook his head, and sighed. "Not yet."
Burt just nodded, studying Kurt's face for a couple of seconds before speaking up again. "Is he still downstairs?"
"Yeah."
"Well, then..." Burt said, getting up from the bed and squeezing Kurt's shoulder affectionately. "Maybe you should talk to him before the party starts. Get things out of your mind so you can enjoy the party."
Kurt sighed nervously.
"Look, Blaine's a good kid, and I bet he'll understand... Just be honest with him."
Kurt pressed his lips tightly and tried to smile as his dad retreated to the bathroom. He stayed alone and deep in thought for a couple of minutes, thinking about what his dad just said. Kurt only wished things could be less complicated.
"No matter what, no matter where, even if we're not together; we're always gonna be there for each other."
Those had been Blaine's words on Christmas, and Kurt realized if there was a time where he could put them to the test, it was right now. He and Blaine were supposed to be working on being friends again; and this could be just one more step in that direction.
Kurt felt a new resolve forming inside him as he thought about the situation for a moment. His dad did have a point; it would be better to talk to Blaine before the party started, so Kurt made up his mind.
He could do this. Kurt breathed in and made his way downstairs, looking for Blaine. However, as he walked out to the back yard he noticed Finn was alone.
"Where did everyone go?" Kurt asked; feeling puzzled.
"They went over to Sam's place, to shower and change I guess." Finn replied, putting the microphone in its place.
"Oh... okay." Kurt didn't now if he should feel relieved or disappointed. So he decided to worry about it later, and go to his room to get ready. He would have to talk to Blaine later, probably after the party.
So Kurt returned upstairs and went to his room. He had his outfit ready since the night before. Burt, Finn and Kurt would wear purple ties to match Carole's white and purple dress. Kurt had bought them himself and even though each tie had different patterns, they were all the same tone. Everything was perfect.
Soon enough the guests started arriving and Kurt made himself busy playing host for the night. Most of the guests were family and close friends, people Kurt knew and felt comfortable with.
The party was by no means anything big, but everything was just perfect. Despite how exhausted and nervous Kurt was feeling, just looking at Carole's face when she saw everything was more than worth it. Burt's face was a different matter completely. Kurt could see in his dad's eyes how happy he was to make Carole's birthday extra-special, and Kurt was proud of himself for being able to help him do this for the woman he loved.
Throughout the evening, Kurt would glance around the place and more often than not, he would catch Blaine looking at him. Every time they made eye contact Kurt could feel his stomach flip a little, and not in the love-butterflies and giddy excitement way. Kurt could sense that Blaine wanted to talk to him as well, but the moment wasn't right. Kurt was too busy hosting the party to even want to approach Blaine and have the dreaded conversation about Sebastian.
Everyone loved the party and complimented them on the decoration and everything from the flowers to the lights and the music. Carole directed all the praise towards Kurt and Finn, or "her boys" as she called them. For a while, Kurt was so happy that he was able to forget about his nerves and worries regarding the situation with Blaine and Sebastian.
After serving the food, Finn and the New Directions took the stage and performed a few songs. In the middle of their performance, Finn invited Burt up to the stage so they could say a few words for Carole, toasting in her honor and making both Carole and many of the guests shed more than a few tears.
After that, Burt and Carole slow danced as their family and friends watched them with adoring fascination. The way they held each other as they danced just showed how in love they were, and the sight warmed the hearts of everyone around them. It was obvious that Carole's sisters and mother were happy to see her with Burt. After the song ended, Finn stepped in so he could have a dance with his mom and Burt walked over to where Kurt was to stand beside him as they watched Carole and Finn dancing together.
The guests were standing in a circle as Finn danced with Carole, and it was such a heartwarming sight to witness.
Suddenly Burt put his hand over Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt turned to face him, expecting his dad to maybe tell him something, but instead Burt just walked slowly away from him. Kurt didn't think much of it, guessing maybe his dad wanted to grab something to drink but when Kurt turned to the food station he realized his dad wasn't there.
Kurt frowned, looking around, searching for his dad as the rest of the guests were focused on watching Finn and Carole dance. His dad was nowhere in sight. Why did he leave? Had he gone back inside? Kurt decided to go look for him and see if his dad needed anything.
As soon as Kurt stepped into the house he saw his dad in the staircase, his body leaning heavily over the railing. Kurt felt his stomach drop to his feet and ran towards him.
"Dad!" Kurt panicked as he reached for his dad, trying to help him. Kurt wanted to get him off the stairs so he could sit down, but Burt didn't manage to stay standing and they ended up sitting back in the stairs instead.
Burt winced as they sat down and Kurt didn't want to panic but he didn't understand what was happening. His heart beat fast inside his chest as he searched his dad's face for answers.
"Dad, what's wrong... Are you in pain?"
"No... No." Burt tried, but his face betrayed him.
"Dad please..." Kurt begged.
"I'm just tired..." Burt tried to brush off but then he winced again. "It's hurting a little... but I'm fine." he confessed, motioning to his lower abdomen, and Kurt immediately knew the pain must be from the radiation he received that morning.
"Do you want me to call the-"
"No! Kurt, I'm fine..." Burt insisted, "I just need to take a break... maybe lie down for a bit."
Kurt narrowed his eyes, not really believing what his dad was saying. Kurt was worried, he knew his dad sometimes felt a little discomfort after getting his treatments but he had never gotten like this before. Kurt felt worry consume him as his dad tried to get up but ended up falling back on him. Kurt was having a hard time keeping his balance in the small space of the stair they were standing on, but he managed to help his dad up the stairs and take him to his room.
Burt kept saying he was fine and trying to dissuade Kurt from wanting to call his doctor, or an ambulance. But Kurt didn't know if his dad was saying that just because he didn't want to ruin Carole's party.
Burt lied down and Kurt sat beside him, reaching out for the bedside table to get his dad's pain medicine. Burt took the pills and reached for another pillow, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath.
Kurt felt something twist inside him at the sight of his dad in the bed with his eyes closed. Suddenly the reality of his condition hit him like a ton of bricks.
Was something going wrong with the treatment? Was the tumor not responding to the radiation? Was the cancer spreading?
All those thoughts were suffocating him and for a minute Kurt was sure he was going to be sick. Suddenly Burt opened his eyes and stared at him, annoyed. "Kurt, I'm fine. Leave me here and go back to the party, please... I don't want to worry anyone."
Kurt shook his head in disbelief.
"Look, I promise if I feel anything else I'll call you okay?" Burt said, pulling out his phone from his pocket. "Now go, you have a party to look after."
"Dad I can't just leave you here." Kurt muttered, his voice cracking with concern.
"If you don't go back downstairs, then I will." Burt threatened with a tiny smile, trying to reassure Kurt that he was fine. "Just go back to the party will ya? And tell Carole I'll be back in a few minutes, I don't want her to worry over nothing."
Burt was smiling widely then and Kurt tried to smile too, but he couldn't just brush off his concerns. So he hastily got up from the bed and promised his dad he would be back in 15 minutes to check up on him again. Burt just rolled his eyes and waved him off.
When Kurt walked out of the room and closed the door he took a moment to just lean against it and breathe. He felt his chest tight with concern and frustration. In all honesty, going back to the party was the last thing he wanted to do. He wished he could just take his dad to the hospital and demand the doctors tell him what was going on.
After a few moments Kurt saw Finn walk into the house and so he quickly walked down the stairs to talk to him. Finn asked him about Burt and so Kurt told him a little bit about what happened. Finn was a bit startled but Kurt tried his best to sound convincing so Finn wouldn't worry Carole. He would talk to her later and they could both go check on his dad.
Finn went back outside and Kurt walked over to the kitchen to get something to drink and calm himself down a little before heading back to face the guests and the party. He poured himself a glass of water and downed it quickly, resting his hands over the kitchen island and sitting down in one of the chairs.
He could faintly hear the music coming from the back of the house, and the chatter of a few people coming from down the hallway. Kurt guessed no one had noticed what happened with his dad and he felt a little relieved about it. He didn't want people asking him questions he couldn't and didn't want to answer about his dad's condition. The truth was, Kurt had never felt so powerless and uncertain about anything in his life. It was terrifying.
"Kurt?"
Blaine's voice shook him out of his thoughts, and Kurt was a little startled when he glanced up and saw him standing in the doorway. Kurt swallowed nervously, wondering how long had Blaine been standing there, watching him.
Kurt tried to smile but it came out as a kind of grimace. Blaine shifted awkwardly where he stood for a couple of seconds before slowly walking into the kitchen.
"Is everything okay?"
Kurt pressed his lips tightly and tried to smile again, "Yeah, I'm just a little... tired, uh-overwhelmed, I guess."
Blaine nodded as he leaned against the counter across where Kurt was sitting down. The room suddenly felt dead silent, the only thing Kurt could hear was the sound of Blaine's fingers tapping in the counter. With every silent second that passed, Kurt's stress increased. He had been trying not to freak out about his dad and what happened but now Blaine was there and he was just standing there... It was unnerving, because Blaine was looking at him but not quite saying anything.
Kurt's discomfort must have been evident, and he knew Blaine noticed, because any other time they wouldn't really have trouble starting a conversation but now they just sat there, across from one another in uncomfortable silence.
"I uh... I actually was wondering if we could talk." Blaine blurted out, suddenly serious, and Kurt felt like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
Kurt knew having this conversation was inevitable, but he really wished they could do it some other time when he wasn't already feeling like crying.
"Blaine... I know you want to talk, but..." Kurt heaved a sigh, "Right now just... I just don't think it's a good time."
Blaine didn't say anything; he just bit his lip, staring intently at Kurt, who was feeling his skin prickle with unease under the other boy's scrutiny. Kurt was just waiting for him to speak again when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.
He quickly got it out, thinking maybe it was his dad, calling him from upstairs, but as it turns out, it wasn't his dad. He had two new texts messages from Sebastian.
From Sebastian Smythe:
The cake is dead and gone!
Attached to the message there was a picture of the empty plate where Kurt had placed the cake, with crumbs and small pieces of the white and purple fondant scattered on it.
From Sebastian Smythe:
Mom loved it, though she was slightly disappointed at how small the portion was, especially since you knew we had to share it. Poor dad couldn't even try it!
As much as he wanted to keep a straight face, Kurt couldn't stop his lip from curling up in a small smile. He knew Mrs. Smythe would never say that, it was obviously Sebastian's way of asking him for more cake without actually admitting to liking it.
Kurt shook his head and put his phone away, and when he glanced up at Blaine again his expression had changed completely. Blaine looked visibly upset, and that made Kurt's chest tighten again.
"Was that Sebastian?" Blaine asked quietly, and the expression of his face reminded Kurt of that time when they had argued over Chandler. Kurt tried to push those memories away, taking a deep breath before responding.
"Yes."
There was no use on trying to deny it, so that was the only thing he said. Kurt looked at Blaine straight in the eye and just braced himself for what was about to come. A couple of seconds that felt like hours passed as Blaine just looked around the kitchen, avoiding Kurt's gaze before speaking up again.
"So... You and Sebastian?"
"What about me and Sebastian, Blaine?"
Blaine huffed. "Come on Kurt."
Kurt stayed silent, biting the inside of his cheek, waiting for Blaine to make his point. Kurt just had no idea of what Blaine was thinking about him and Sebastian, so he wanted to wait before saying anything.
"You know all those times I wanted to go with you and your dad to the hospital?" Blaine said, shaking his head. "I never understood why you didn't want me to go with you."
Kurt breathed in, Blaine looked so sad and betrayed that he was just at a loss of what to do.
"You should have just told me."
"Blaine..."
"Are you dating him?"
Kurt just sighed, shaking his head. He felt a wave of unease settle in his stomach. He didn't want to lie, but what could he say without revealing Sebastian's secret?
"Um... No."
Blaine squinted his eyes and looked at him in complete disbelief, "So... Are you just hooking up with him then? Is that it?"
Kurt almost choked on his own breath. "E-excuse me?"
"Look, Kurt... I know how Sebastian is, okay? I thought you did too. What are you even doing with him?" Blaine's sad demeanor from before had completely turned into anger now.
"Blaine, you don't underst-"
"How can I understand something that doesn't make any sense?" Blaine fumed, pressing his hands to his temples as he spoke. "I just can't comprehend how you can be with Sebastian. Sebastian Smythe, of all people! After everything he did..." Kurt just gaped as Blaine ranted, not even letting him speak. "And after all the horrible things he called you. Kurt you know he is just the worst kind of-"
"Okay, first of all, it's not like that Blaine!" Kurt cut him off, raising his voice. "And second, why are you saying those things about Sebastian? You have no idea of what-"
"Oh my god this is golden!" Blaine interrupted, laughing bitterly.
"What?"
"You're defending him now... You're actually defending Sebastian, after everything that..." Blaine suddenly stopped talking and his eyes went wide, like he had a realization in the middle of his sentence.
"Are you doing this to get back at me?" Blaine sneered, and in that moment Kurt felt the uneasiness he previously felt in his stomach spread to his chest and shake him all over.
"Are you serious right now?" Kurt snapped, feeling angrier than he ever had in years.
"Yes, I'm serious!" He deadpanned, "I mean of all people... All people you could possibly... Just..." Blaine seemed at a loss for words, "Why Sebastian?"
Blaine looked like he was about to burst into tears, but all that did was make Kurt even angrier. All the resolve he had gathered earlier that day about wanting to talk to Blaine and be honest with him was just thrown out the window in the face of how incredibly hostile and unreasonable Blaine was being right now.
"Okay Blaine, you know what? You're being ridiculous!"
"I'm being ridiculous?" Blaine hissed.
Kurt could see Blaine's chest heaving and his own eyes stung painfully with the threat of tears building behind them.
"Yes, you are!" Kurt spat back, "My world doesn't revolve around you, Blaine! And you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you... at all!"
Blaine just gaped as Kurt stood up, pushing his chair back loudly. Kurt had never talked to Blaine like this before, but he couldn't bring himself to care right now.
"It is none of your business who I hang out with... or who I date!" Kurt yelled, not caring if anyone else could hear him, "And you have no right to accuse me of doing things just to hurt you... I can't believe you even think that I would want to do anything, to... to get back at you? Seriously Blaine? Is that the kind of person you think I am?"
Blaine's face fell as Kurt spoke that last sentence. It was like he suddenly realized the implications of what he said and wished he could take it back. But it was too late, Kurt was so frustrated and hurt that he was on the verge of tears, and he hated the fact that he was so upset, because he did not want to cry in front of Blaine. So he tried to calm himself as much as he could before speaking again.
"We're supposed to be friends, Blaine, and I really want to be..." Kurt's voice was small, almost a whisper. He didn't trust himself to speak loud again and risk breaking into tears. "But I can't be your friend if this is how you're going to behave."
Blaine heaved a sigh, "Kurt, I'm sorry... okay? I didn't mean to accuse you but... Just help me out here. I just want to understand... Please."
Kurt just looked at him and shook his head; he was so disappointed. "I don't think you would understand, even if I explained." He mumbled, wiping the corner of his eye, "But I'm not going to. So please just... Don't."
Blaine took a step forward, reaching out to Kurt; but Kurt took a step back and walked out of the kitchen, leaving him behind.
Once Kurt was in the hallway he wanted nothing more than to run out the front door. He wished he could get out of the house, away from the party, away from all his troubles, and away from Blaine. But he couldn't run away right now, not in the middle of the party, not when his dad needed him.
The tears he'd been trying so desperately to hold back broke out then. And he put his hand over his mouth to keep himself from crying out loud as he got to his room and closed the door.
His dad's bedroom was just down the hall and Kurt knew he would hear him if he cried.
Kurt was just so frustrated. This wasn't the way things were supposed to go, everything was a mess. He dropped down on his bed and curled into himself, trying to stop the tears but feeling so completely lost and overwhelmed that he just couldn't.
So he cried silently, hugging his pillow and not caring if his hair or his suit got messed up. He stayed there until his cries died out and his breathing returned to normal. Kurt knew he just needed a few minutes to calm himself down. He knew he couldn't hide in his room forever, and he didn't want to. He had to check up on his dad, he also had to go down and see how the party was going. He probably would even have to face Blaine again.
So once he felt like he could breathe again, Kurt got up from his bed and went over to his bathroom to fix his hair. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he almost wanted to start crying again. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed red, his nose was puffy and his face looked just awful. Kurt sighed and decided to laugh instead, because quite frankly his hair was the least of his worries at the moment.
Kurt sat on the edge of his bathtub, shaking his head and trying to smile. He took a moist towelette and softly cleaned his face with it. He was glad that no one had come looking after him, which meant the party must have been going smoothly, so Kurt wasn't too worried about hurrying back downstairs.
In that moment, his phone buzzed again and when he took it out of his pocket Kurt realized he had a new email notification. Kurt wondered who could it be at this time. When he opened his email and read the subject line he frowned.
"Alex Hershel wants to be friends on Facebook."
Alex Hershel? Kurt didn't know who that was, and he didn't usually accept people he didn't know into his Facebook friends. Out of pure curiosity though, he clicked to see who this Alex Hershel could possibly be, and once he saw the profile picture Kurt realized he did know him.
It was Alex, Sebastian's cousin.