AN: Well, here's the second Rise chapter I promised. This felt like it took an arm and a leg to get written, but I think that's because I love this scene so much. This isn't a continuation of the last chapter or anything, I just really wanted to write both scenes.

Please review and tell me what you think. Also, if you have any suggestions for future chapters send them my way!

"If this was an accident then I've got nowhere to start. If this was an accident then I've got nothing. The guy who shot me is gone. Dick Coonan, gone. Hal Lockwood, gone. Montgomery, gone. My mom, everybody is gone, Castle."

Crying was the last thing Kate wanted to do right now. She wanted to fight, to feel strong, to feel anything but the weakness she'd felt for the past three months.

She hated the pity she'd been seeing in Castle's eyes all night. If only she could just get him to see her the way he used to, before all he saw was how broken she was.

As she stood there staring at him and forcing herself not to let any tears fall, the pity did slide off his face.

Castle stood slowly from his chair and stared back at her. Fire burned in his eyes, but not the good kind, not the kind Kate had seen dozens of times when she had teased him, not the kind she was too stubborn to admit she loved seeing. He was angry, but why? What did she say?

"I am still here, Kate." He spit the words out at her like they tasted vile, his hand shaking as he pointed to his chest.

"Lanie, Esposito, Ryan; they're still here." He looked at her like all of this should be obvious, like she hadn't shut every single one of them out for three months, like she could just come back and everyone would forgive her and understand.

She wasn't sure she wanted him to understand. He was too compassionate, too forgiving; she didn't deserve any of it, not after she'd lied to him.

"I am still here."

The words had barely growled past his lips before the anger faded from his face and all of the sudden his arms were around her, hugging her hard against his chest.

"I'm still here." He whispered into her hair as the first tear fell.

She should feel trapped and claustrophobic in his arms. The fact that she could hardly pull in breaths any deeper than a gasp because of how tightly he was holding her should have made her panic and run like she had countless times before.

Instead, it just made her feel safe again, and a little more whole. She wrapped her arms around him, desperately clinging to the only thing that felt steady anymore.

Kate didn't want to move. She didn't want to break this moment; she wanted to just stand there and forget about the rest of the world, let all of it fade away.

And she would have. She honestly would have let Castle hold her all damn night, if only she couldn't feel those three little words coursing through every fiber of his body. He wasn't trying, but she could feel it all over him, in the way his chest hitched slightly every three or four breaths he took, in the way his fingers dug into her back, in the way his breath played gently over her ear through her hair.

Before she knew it, the steady stream of tears that had been falling onto his shoulder became a horrible sob. She knew she had to do this, had to tell him the truth; he deserved so much more than she could give him, but she had to give him everything she had.

Gripping Castle as if by shear force of will she could prevent them from shattering him, Kate spoke the words that had been choking her since she saw him in the bookstore.

"I lied. I heard you. I remember." She knew the instant he understood, because he stiffened against her, his chest freezing mid-breath as his hands suddenly turned to ice against her back.

Then he was gone, standing across the room with his back to her and his fists clenched. His entire body was tight and stressed, but Kate just felt like falling to the floor. He'd been the only thing keeping her from collapsing all day and now she didn't think she could handle it anymore.

"You remember." His voice was more gravelly than usual, and she really wished she could see his face.

"I," she searched for the words to tell him exactly how she felt, why she'd lied, but she couldn't find them. Nothing was adequate to explain everything that went through her head that day, or any of the days since then.

"I'm sorry, Rick."

At this he spun around, and she regretted wishing to see his face. This was not the Castle she knew; this Castle was hurt and confused and livid.

"No!" He pointed a shaking finger at her, but Kate's eyes never left his, where she saw tears of rage welling, sending guilt shooting through her for what felt like the millionth time that day.

"No, you don't get to be sorry. I waited Beckett. I waited three months to hear from you. You may have had the knowledge of how I felt about you to hold onto, but I didn't. I didn't know where you were, how you were doing, whether or not I'd ever see you again. But damn it I waited. Not because you were my partner, and not because I felt guilty for dragging you back into this god forsaken case. I waited because I love you.

"I spent all summer jumping every time my phone rang, wishing more than anything just to hear your voice. I wrote a hundred different scenarios in my head every day. What if I had been faster? What if you'd been turned just slightly to the right? Were you out of the hospital? Still in the city? If I went to your apartment would you let me in? How much physical therapy were you doing? Were you alone? If not who was with you? Was it Josh?"

His anger seemed to falter for a second; when he spoke again his voice was softer, filled more with pain than anger.

"And what made it worse was that I couldn't even be angry about that. If you were still with Josh, then I wanted him to be there, to help you because I couldn't. You wouldn't let me, but at least you had someone. You told me you didn't remember any of it, so for three months I waited. Turns out you'd heard me all along and just couldn't face telling me you didn't feel the same."

The last words came out on a sigh, as if the thought of it drained him even more than his anger. Kate wanted nothing more than to be able to sink into his arms again and let it take away the pain they were both feeling.

But she needed him to understand.

"I waited those three months too. I waited with the knowledge that you loved me. Every night I went to sleep wishing I were better, first wishing I could stand up and get a fucking glass of water without my father's help, then wishing I could be what I needed to be for you. I spent three months knowing I wasn't. I knew I wasn't ready to hear you say you loved me, knew I had no idea how to be loved.

"Do you know how much it hurts to wait, knowing that you aren't good enough? Or maybe you are, but you can't bring yourself to believe it? Knowing the only thing keeping me from you was myself? And don't you ever tell me that I don't feel the same. Because I love you, Rick. And I wish I would have said it in that damn hospital room, but I was scared. And maybe I have no idea what that means, or how to be in love with you, but... I am."

Silence fell between them, both holding their breath as they stared at the other. It took Kate a few moments to realize exactly what she'd said, and her cheeks flushed. This wasn't how she'd planned to tell him she loved him. Then again, none of this was going the way she'd planned.

Then Castle smiled and a wave of relief washed over her; maybe everything was going to be okay after all. They were definitely far from perfect, but she would gladly take okay. He took a step forward, looking up at her out of the corner of his eye in a way that simultaneously made him look like a chastised schoolboy and a self-assured predator.

"Well," he said and Kate was surprised to still hear uncertainty in his voice. It didn't match his expression, or the fact that he kept walking towards her, until he stood mere inches away. "So where does that leave us? What do we do now?"

Instead of answering the question, Kate hung her head until it rested against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him again loosely. She felt his hands at her back and immediately slumped into him, breathing slowly as she tried to process everything. Being with him like this felt safe and warm. She really didn't want to move and sit separate from him, only to rehash everything with him the way she'd done with herself a hundred times.

"You know," Kate pulled back just enough to look him in the eye as his hands fell to her hips, "we talk, and talk, and talk some more. All we ever do is talk. And yes, we're finally talking about something important, but I'm so tired of talking."

She watched as Castle's lips curled upward at the corners in a smile that was somehow sweet and sexy at once. When her eyes returned to his, she saw the last of his restraint crumble.

Kate felt his hands tense at her back as he tugged her closer and she went willingly. The kiss was soft and unhurried, so unlike the one in that alley. They both seemed to know that this was what they really needed, a moment to return to solid ground, to convince themselves that they had finally made it.

The sentimentality vanished as soon as Kate's teeth grazed Castle's lower lip. He groaned just enough to set her blood aflame and canted towards her. Kate rolled her hips further into his, sending a shudder through both their bodies.

Hands grappling at the fabric of his shirt, she clung to him as his tongue trailed along the line of her jaw. When his lips settled at the base of her neck she gasped before smiling and nipping at his earlobe. She felt another shiver rake through him and when his lips returned to hers she didn't even try to hide her moan.

They broke apart when oxygen became an issue and stood just breathing together for a moment, both trying to make sure they weren't dreaming.

Castle held her gaze until she blushed and let her forehead fall to his shoulder. She wasn't self-conscious, but the sheer force of his love for her, and the knowledge that she had finally found a way to overcome all the intangible barriers that had kept her from truly allowing herself to be open with him was a little overwhelming.

His fingers were running along the small of her back, massaging warmth and comfort and familiarity into the muscles that had been so tense and strained all day. Kate hummed softly and heard Castle laugh against her hair.

"What?" She asked into his shirt, a little of what she'd find if she looked up at him.

"Nothing. It's just," he squeezed her just a little tighter, "I never would have thought that your pouty 'I'm tired of talking' face would look so much like your 'thinking' face, all scrunched up and determined. It's adorable."

AN2: Review and tell me your thoughts!