AN: Hey guys! I just realized in January it will be 1 year since I started posting this story. Thanks so much for being super supportive and patient with me throughout this year. I never expected so many people to read my story so I am happier than you even know. This fic has at least 6 or 7 more chapters to go, and I appreciate every single one of the encouraging comments and reviews you have all sent my way, so THANK YOU times a billion. I can't say it enough. Anyway, I hope you are all enjoying your holidays, and I hope you guys like this chapter. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated :) Happy New Year everybody!
"So I was thinking we could do Adore You, by Miley Cyrus. How does that sound?"
Sebastian almost choked on the water he was drinking at the sound of Jeff's suggestion.
"Miley Cyrus... Really Jeff?"
"What? The song is amazing!"
"Yeah but no... That song is super slow, and besides… It would be too gay!"
"Too gay? Seb, Nationals is in LA, we'll probably get bonus points if we gay it up as much as we can!" Jeff laughed from the other side of the line, making Sebastian crack up as well.
"You're so stupid! Anyway… I say we should stick with our first choice, 'Say Something' is a great song, and I'm sure the guys can come up with some epic arrangement as backup."
"I appreciate the vote of confidence on your part, Seb. But I don't think I can quite sing Christina Aguilera without completely embarrassing myself."
"I think that's the song we should do. It's a winner. If you don't feel up to it, then let Nick sing the duet with me, he wanted to do it too." Sebastian teased.
"No! I'm the one who won the draw, I'm singing with you! Not Nick!" Jeff protested, and even though Sebastian couldn't see him, he could tell Jeff was pouting.
"Okay, tell you what. We'll give the song a try come next rehearsal and see if we can make it work, and if not, we'll just have to find another song…" Sebastian conceded.
"Okay, we need to do it fast though, otherwise we won't have enough time to rehearse it before nationals."
"I know… You're right." Sebastian sighed. He knew the guys were going out of their way to include him in their performance for Nationals and he didn't want to slow them down. Hunter and the rest of the guys were doing a big choreographed number that they had been practicing for weeks now; but there was no way Sebastian could be a part of it. Sebastian couldn't possibly keep up with the physical endurance that the Warblers' usual choreography demanded when he got tired so fast. So they had agreed that Sebastian and someone else should sing a ballad as an opening number. They pulled straws to see who got to sing with him, and Jeff had won.
"How are you feeling? Any better?" Jeff asked him.
"Yeah… A little. Better than yesterday at least."
"That's good to hear man. Have you been able to make any progress with your math assignment?"
"Not really." Sebastian admitted warily. "I'll work on it after I get something to eat."
"Oh… okay. Let us know when we can come over again, to help you out with the rest."
"Tomorrow should be fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah… I think so."
"Okay, I'll tell the guys. They'll be happy to see you again, and start practicing."
"Okay, bye Jeff."
It had been 5 days since Sebastian got chemo, and he hadn't really been feeling well enough to deal with anything, especially not with the stack of schoolwork he still needed to get done to catch up with the rest of his class.
The day he got chemo, after The Warblers left his house, Sebastian hadn't felt too bad, so that had given him a little bit of hope for the upcoming days. However, that completely changed the next morning, when Sebastian woke up with a horrible case of hiccups. Granted, having non-stop hiccups was not as awful as throwing up, but after three straight hours of having the hiccups, his chest started to hurt and it was slowly driving him crazy. Nothing he and his mom could try would make the hiccups stop.
They called Sebastian's doctor and he didn't give them any solutions either. It seemed like it was just another side effect of the treatment and the meds Sebastian was taking to help him cope with the nausea. So basically, Sebastian couldn't do anything but wait it out.
And so Sebastian spent those few days just tossing and turning in bed, trying to watch TV just to distract himself and wait it out until he felt better. There was nothing else he could do, not really.
Aside from the hiccups, Sebastian wasn't overtly sick this time, at least not after the third day. He'd had the usual nausea and dizziness, but the thing was that he also felt completely drained. Even when he wasn't overtly nauseous or dizzy, Sebastian still couldn't really muster the mental energy to focus on any of his school assignments. Some people called it "chemo-brain", Sebastian just didn't even want it to have name. He just wasn't in the mood for anything. Period.
Kurt had been texting him, after that first day. But Sebastian was feeling so tired and irritated by the hiccups that he had only replied half-heartedly. Kurt, being as perceptive as he was, quickly caught up that Sebastian really wasn't doing as fine as he kept saying, and so Sebastian finally told him about the hiccups, just so he would stop worrying.
After that first day, Sebastian's phone spent most of the time completely ignored inside his bedside drawer. Sebastian wasn't really in the mood for talking on the phone, texting, or checking his recently reopened Facebook page, so he wasn't really surprised when his mother came to his room on the third day holding out her phone, telling him that Kurt was on the line, asking about him.
Sebastian didn't really want to talk to anyone when he couldn't even finish a sentence without struggling between hiccups. It was incredibly uncomfortable, annoying and even a little humiliating. But well, Kurt was a different story. Apart from his parents and sister, Kurt was the only other person who had seen him at his worst. Sebastian knew Kurt must have been worried because of the lack of communication, and quite frankly, Sebastian appreciated it.
The hiccups finally stopped after the third day, and so Sebastian wasn't really upset when his mom admitted that she had invited Kurt to come over for lunch. Sebastian's mom had some patients to attend at her clinic, and she didn't want him to be alone.
Sebastian knew his mom was just looking after him, trying to cheer him up, and quite frankly Sebastian did miss talking to Kurt.
Kurt was supposed to arrive at noon, so Sebastian tried his best, taking a shower and dressing himself to be at least half-decent for when Kurt got there. Sebastian only wore sweatpants and hoodies lately, since all he ever did was stay in bed anyway. When Kurt finally arrived, Sebastian was feeling a little better.
The day was fairly sunny, so they had lunch outside by the pool. Kurt seemed deep in thought as they ate, staring at the water.
"What's on your mind?" Sebastian asked, not able to hold his curiosity.
"Nothing... Not really." Kurt admitted. "I was just wondering how cold the water in the pool is."
"What… You want to go for a swim?" Sebastian asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
"No!" Kurt laughed. "I was just wondering about it, it's been a while since I've been to a pool. That's all."
"It's been ages since I've used it… I don't remember when was the last time." Sebastian confessed, a little nostalgic.
"If I had a pool in my backyard I'd use it every day." Kurt added, and Sebastian just snorted.
"No, you wouldn't."
"Yes I would."
"Even in winter? I'd love to see that." Sebastian teased, and Kurt just rolled his eyes.
"That's not what I meant."
"Well, you can come use this one whenever you want." Sebastian offered, and he actually meant it. Kurt just smiled.
After a few more minutes, Kurt and Sebastian went back into the house and as they were making their way towards the living room, Sebastian got a text message from Jeff, it was a link to a YouTube video for "Honey" by Mariah Carey. Sebastian just groaned in complete disbelief, feeling exasperated with his duet partner.
"What is it?" Kurt asked, noticing Sebastian's irritation.
"It's Jeff… he just keeps sending me awful song choices for our Nationals duet."
"Really? How bad?"
"Mariah Carey bad."
Kurt laughed out loud as he sat on the couch, crossing his legs. Sebastian sat on the other couch across from the one Kurt was on and sighed.
"What would you rather sing then?" Kurt asked him.
"Well... I want to sing 'Say Something' but… I don't know."
"Say Something? Really?" Kurt said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah… Why?"
"I actually love that song."
"I do too." Sebastian confessed, smiling. "But Jeff is chickening out. He says he can't do Christina Aguilera any justice… I think he just really wants to sing Mariah, or Miley!"
"So what are you going to do?" Kurt asked.
"Well, we agreed to give it a try and see if we can make it work."
"Have you practiced it yet?"
"Um… not really, I mean. I've sang it plenty, but just for myself."
"In the shower?" Kurt teased.
"Like you don't sing in the shower!" Sebastian accused, rolling his eyes and causing them both to burst out laughing.
"Well you are in luck." Kurt said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the big piano on the corner of the living room. "May I?" Kurt asked, looking expectantly at Sebastian, who just nodded.
Kurt sat in front of the piano and put his hands over the keys, testing them before turning around to look at Sebastian again. "I've been working on my piano skills lately, and that song is just amazing. I've used it to practice a lot, so I know it by heart." Kurt explained as he started playing the melody with skilled fingers.
Sebastian got up from the couch and slowly walked up to Kurt. He stood beside the piano in silence as he just took in the melody Kurt was playing. He didn't know Kurt could play the piano, and he was good at it too. The piano never really got used lately, because the only person who ever really played it was his sister Catherine, and she was in New York now.
When Kurt saw Sebastian he scooted a bit to the left, patting the seat on his right side, gesturing for Sebastian to sit next to him.
"I'll be Christina, you can be Ian Axel." Kurt said with a clever smile as he continued to play. "Or we can sing it together, if you want."
Sebastian sat down, feeling strangely nervous. He had never been one to feel intimidated by singing, but there was something about the way Kurt was so elegantly playing that had him entranced. There was something about the way he could feel Kurt's body heat from sitting so closely that made his head swim. Sebastian was so distracted that he missed the part when he was supposed to start singing. Kurt didn't stop playing though, he just gave Sebastian a fond smile and started singing himself.
Say something I'm giving up on you,
I'll be the one if you want me to.
Anywhere I would've followed you,
say something I'm giving up on you…
Damn. Sebastian had never heard Kurt sing, not really. His voice was unlike any other he'd ever heard before, and the emotion Kurt put into the song made it even more unique.
And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head, I know nothing at all.
And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl.
Sebastian guessed he should stop staring and actually start singing, so by the time the chorus came he finally joined Kurt in song. Hoping their voices would blend together nicely; he honestly had no clue.
Say something I'm giving up on you,
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere i, would've followed you.
Say something I'm giving up on you.
And I will swallow my pride.
You're the one that I love,
and I'm saying goodbye.
As it turns out, their voices complimented each other perfectly. They were able to sing along to the notes Kurt was playing on the piano, creating a perfect harmony that Sebastian was sure would be a complete success for their Nationals competition.
Say something I'm giving up on you.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere I would have followed you.
Oh say something I'm giving up on you.
By the time the song ended, Sebastian could feel himself overflowing with emotions. Kurt stopped playing and looked sideways at Sebastian. They were both silent for a while before Kurt smiled sheepishly.
"What?"
"Nothing… You have a really beautiful voice, Kurt."
"Oh… thanks." Kurt replied, smiling. Sebastian didn't miss the slight pink blush coloring his cheeks. It was only then that Sebastian realized his compliment had caused Kurt to blush. Sebastian smiled, feeling a familiar warmth spreading inside him. He hadn't felt this way in a long, long time.
"You know, if Jeff can't pull this song off, I'll tell the guys that we'll just have to put you in a blazer and have you sing with us!"
"Oh… As tempting as that sounds, that would be cheating."
Sebastian laughed; because he knew it was impossible, but suddenly the image of him and Kurt singing together on a stage came to his mind and he found himself wishing it could be true.
"That was a beautiful song, boys!"
Sebastian turned around and saw his mother standing by the hallway with her hands clasped together and a big smile on her face. He had no idea how long she had been standing there, but felt suddenly self-conscious about how close he and Kurt were sitting together.
"Mom… How long have you been standing there?" Sebastian laughed, trying to hide his nervousness a little.
"Oh just a little while ago… I barely caught the end verse, I think." Mrs. Smythe confessed. "You should do it again though, I want to record you on my phone and send the video to Catherine! She will be delighted to see her piano being played again."
"Mom, no." Sebastian protested.
"Oh come on, honey, do it for me!"
"Yeah Sebastian, your mom is right. Besides, you better get used to cameras being on you, after all your final performance will be televised for the whole country to watch, remember?" Kurt said, giving Sebastian a playful shove.
Sebastian looked at Kurt and smiled, "Alright, I guess we could do it one more time… You do need to polish your chorus, after all."
"Oh really?" Kurt said, seemingly offended by Sebastian's remark. "I think I did just fine the first time."
"We'll see about that." Sebastian smiled as Kurt put his hands on the keys and started the melody again. Mrs. Smythe excitedly pulled up her phone and started recording them.
…
A few days later, Kurt was lounging in his room, checking his email. Carole kept emailing him pictures that she took around DC. It wasn't even the first time Carole went with Burt to DC, but she always acted like an over-excited tourist. Kurt found it endearing, and tried his best to always reply to Carole as excitedly as she wrote to him. He was typing an email to her, commenting on the pictures and asking about his dad but he kept getting distracted by the other tab he had open.
Kurt had been constantly checking his Facebook for over an hour now. It had all started when Catherine had tagged him in a video. Kurt realized then that she had uploaded the video Mrs. Smythe took of him and Sebastian singing and a lot of people were liking and commenting on it. Sebastian had been mortified at first, but after a while, when he'd seen that all the comments were positive, he had gotten over it, or at least that's what Kurt hoped.
Kurt wasn't sure how many times he'd watched the video, he'd lost count by now, but he didn't care, not really. He couldn't help it, not when it brought back such good memories of spending time with Sebastian. The only thing slightly bothering him was a couple of suggestive and teasing comments left by some of Sebastian's Dalton friends. So far Sebastian hadn't commented on the video at all, so Kurt couldn't help but wonder what he thought about them. The song was really romantic, albeit in a sad way, and the guys were asking about who Kurt was, teasing Sebastian about having a new "flame".
Kurt figured some people just didn't care about being inappropriate in other people's posts.
It wasn't long before Rachel was calling Kurt on the phone, berating him for not telling her about his newfound friendship with Sebastian and asking for all the juicy little details of their "secret relationship". No matter how many times Kurt told her the contrary, Rachel was convinced Kurt and Sebastian were a thing now, and she was upset that Kurt had kept it a secret.
Kurt was just glad his dad didn't have a Facebook.
The rest of the week went by in a rush. Kurt and Sebastian spoke almost every day and Kurt was happy when he found out that Sebastian had gotten his way, which meant that he and Jeff were singing "Say Something" for their Nationals duet. Sebastian told Kurt that Catherine uploading the video actually helped in the end, because Jeff felt pressured to live up to Kurt's standard and prove that he could be just as good.
Kurt found it amusing, but was happy that Sebastian was getting to do something that was so important to him. He deserved to be happy and take his mind off all the stressful things he had going on.
…
The days went by and Sebastian was hoping to feel better but unfortunately, he didn't. Usually it would take Sebastian about six or seven days to go back to normal after getting chemo. But this time, it was already day ten and Sebastian still felt as drained as the first day after he got the treatment.
Sebastian felt impossibly tired, and no matter how hard he tried to work on his school assignments, he felt like it was an impossible task. His mind felt cloudy and he had trouble concentrating on anything. As much as Sebastian hated it, he really depended a lot on the Warblers and Kurt helping him out with his homework. They didn't seem to mind, but Sebastian hated to feel so damn useless.
That day, Sebastian called Trent and told him to tell the guys not to come over to his house because he was feeling so bad that he didn't even want to try.
Sebastian didn't quite understand why this was happening, and neither did his parents. So they decided to call Sebastian's doctor and make an appointment a couple of days before Sebastian's next chemotherapy session was scheduled, to check if everything was alright. The doctor ordered some tests and as it turned out, Sebastian's blood counts were low, but the doctor said he would still be able to get the chemotherapy.
It was bittersweet for Sebastian to hear those words. Part of him was glad to be able to do the chemo as scheduled, because that meant that he would be able to go to Nationals, but another part of him was dreading that day because he already felt awful and he knew the chemotherapy would make him feel even worse.
Nationals, think about Nationals. Sebastian kept repeating inside his head, like a mantra.
...
The next day, Sebastian woke up feeling determined to fight against the exhaustion. He took a cold shower in hopes that it would help him stay awake. He got dressed and decided to try and read a little bit more of 'The Count of Monte Cristo' in the living room. He didn't get far before he fell asleep, which was incredibly frustrating when he woke up three hours later.
He moved to the dining room, hoping that maybe sitting in the stiff chairs instead of the couch or his desk would help him stay awake and focused. He was hoping to go through the chapter he was reading before his brain decided it was exhausted. He needed to write an essay that was due in a few days and he had no time to waste.
Almost an hour later Sebastian was sitting in the dining table, doodling nonsense on the edge of one of the pages instead of reading when he saw Kurt walk through the door, carrying what appeared to be two grocery bags. Sebastian's mom must have known he was coming because she was the one to greet him at the door.
Sebastian realized in that moment that he had completely forgotten that Kurt was coming over. Most likely another perk of his goddamn chemo-brain.
"Kurt! So glad you could make it!" Mrs. Smythe greeted Kurt with a tight hug, and Sebastian couldn't help but smile at the sight. He got up from the chair and walked over to them.
"Hi Kurt… What do you have there?" Sebastian asked, ogling the bag Kurt was holding.
"Hey Seb… this? Oh, you'll have to wait and see." Kurt said cheekily as one of the maids helped him with the bag. Now Sebastian was intrigued.
"Are you hungry?" Kurt asked.
Sebastian remained thoughtful for a second. He was always a little hungry, even if he didn't actually want to eat. It was a weird feeling, but it was always like this on the first few days after chemo. Food tasted weird sometimes, which was probably the drugs messing with his taste buds, so Sebastian ate more out of need than out of actual appetite.
"Um… a little bit, yeah."
"Then let's go!" Kurt chirped, putting his arm around Sebastian and guiding him towards the kitchen. Sebastian didn't know what was happening but with the way his mother was beaming, he knew she and Kurt were up to something.
They walked into the kitchen and Kurt quickly grabbed the bag he'd been holding previously, that was now sitting on top of the kitchen island. He opened it and started taking out several small plastic containers filled with what appeared to be vegetables and other ingredients already chopped and ready for whatever Kurt was about to prepare.
"Oh Kurt, honey don't tell me you brought everything ready, we bought fresh spinach and avocados yesterday just for you."
"Oh it's no problem, I only brought a few things, we can use those to put together the salad."
"I'll get right on it then." Mrs. Smythe said with a smile, walking over to the fridge and pulling out the broccoli, spinach, tomatoes and a few onions.
Sebastian stared curiously as Kurt pulled out a slightly bigger container from one of his bags and put it over the counter. Sebastian immediately recognized what it was and his surprise must have been written all over his face because once Kurt noticed it, his smile grew impossibly wide.
"Is that...?"
"Breaded tofu, yeah." Kurt said, smiling excitedly as he took out the breaded slices of tofu from the small container and put them in a plate. "Your mom put me in touch with your sister, who was kind enough to share her famous fried tofu sandwiches recipe."
Sebastian couldn't stop smiling, this was so unexpected and amazing that he just didn't know how to react. His stomach even growled in anticipation as Kurt kept putting together the ingredients for the white sauce.
"I can't believe you're doing this." Sebastian said, smiling widely at Kurt.
"Well... We wanted to do something nice for you. To cheer you up!" Kurt admitted, giving Sebastian a fond look before focusing on the pickles he was chopping. "I remembered how much you said you liked your sister's sandwiches and decided to give it a try. I'm always up for trying new recipes and I have to admit this was quite the challenge, even though it's not really a complicated dish."
"Now I know the doctor said you shouldn't eat fried foods but we're making an exception today." Sebastian's mom said, leaning over to kiss Sebastian on the cheek while Kurt poured canola oil on the frying pan.
Sebastian smiled, shaking his head. He just couldn't believe it. If his mom and Kurt wanted to cheer him up then they had definitely succeeded.
"Now I have never tried them before, so you'll be the judge and tell me if I succeeded in my quest to replicate Catherine's famous sandwiches." Kurt said with a wink, and Sebastian had to admit he was equal parts excited and skeptical of what Kurt was actually doing. He and his mom had tried a few times to make these sandwiches and the white sauce, but never actually managed to make them as delicious as Catherine did.
"I prepared these last night, thought it would be faster… And I didn't use any eggs!" Kurt said, taking the breaded tofu and placing it in the pan. He then turned to mix the rest of the ingredients from the other containers into the blender to make the white sauce.
Sebastian couldn't help the big smile that spread across his face. He couldn't believe Kurt was doing this for him. Breading the tofu without using eggs was quite difficult but Kurt had apparently managed to do it to perfection. Mrs. Smythe was putting together the salad and Sebastian decided he'd try to at least make himself useful, slicing the baguette for the sandwiches.
When everything was ready, the three of them sat in the table and got ready to eat.
"Oh my god..." Sebastian practically moaned as he took the first bite out of his sandwich.
"So... Does that mean you liked it?" Kurt said expectantly.
Liked it? Sebastian loved it. It tasted every bit as good as he expected it to, and even more. There was something about the seasoning Kurt used that gave it a special flavor, making it slightly different from Catherine's, but every bit as good. Sebastian was in awe.
"This is so good I seriously could kiss you right now..." Sebastian blurted out before he could stop himself. So he added a quick "Both of you." at the end of his sentence after almost choking on his own words.
Kurt looked amused more than anything and Mrs. Smythe was obviously trying hard to suppress her laughter.
Sebastian wasn't joking though, he really could kiss Kurt in that moment, although it was something he never had really allowed himself to admit out loud. Kurt really was something special, and not in a million years would Sebastian had ever seen this coming. He really wanted to step up from his chair, go over to the other side of the table and give him a hug... And kiss him too.
The small glint of mischief in his mother's eye had Sebastian wondering if she could read his mind, but he just winked at her, knowing she had his back.
...
After they finished, Kurt and Sebastian went upstairs to the family room to relax. They laid down in separate couches and just stared at the ceiling in silence. They had eaten so much that Kurt was sure if he moved too fast he was going to explode, which got him suddenly concerned about Sebastian.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm stuffed." Sebastian said, burping into his fist. "But I'm not nauseous, if that's what you're worried about."
"Good." Kurt said; feeling relieved. Sebastian grabbed the remote and turned on the stereo where his iPod was plugged in, setting some background music as they lounged in the couches.
They weren't talking, or really doing anything, but Kurt didn't feel out of place or awkward. They just stayed there, enjoying each other's company and relaxing.
After a few minutes of silence Kurt turned to look at Sebastian. He had his eyes closed and his breathing was soft and steady. Kurt had no way of knowing if Sebastian was asleep or not, but he looked so relaxed and peaceful that it seemed to be the case.
"This is so good I seriously could kiss you right now." Sebastian's words echoed in Kurt's mind, and he smiled at the feeling that thinking about them brought him. He was certain that Sebastian hadn't meant those words in a literal sense. Kurt was sure it was just a spur of the moment thing because of how good the sandwich tasted, but still, Kurt couldn't help but wonder about it as he closed his eyes and tried to relax.
Kurt must have fallen asleep because when he woke up, he realized the music was no longer playing. He also realized he was covered in a blanket, and so was Sebastian. He checked his phone and realized they'd been napping for a little over an hour. He was supposed to help Sebastian with his French assignment, not napping. He turned to his side and spotted Sebastian, who had stirred in his sleep and was now sleeping on his side, facing Kurt. He looked so relaxed that Kurt wondered for a moment if he should just let him sleep. He looked so tired lately that he probably needed the rest.
Kurt spent a few minutes just staring at Sebastian but ultimately he knew he needed to wake him.
"Sebastian?" Kurt said in a low voice, but Sebastian didn't move.
"Seb?" He tried again, a little louder. Sebastian breathed in and turned around, but he didn't wake up. So Kurt slowly sat up.
"Sebastian... Sebastian!" Kurt turned his blanket into a ball and threw it at him, finally managing to wake him up.
"Ugh... What?" Sebastian groaned, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "Did I... Ugh... How long was I asleep?"
"Don't worry, it wasn't for very long... And I fell asleep too. I think your mom came and put some blankets on us."
"She would." Sebastian said, rubbing his hands over his face and yawning.
"Are you ready to do some homework?" Kurt asked.
"Not really... But let's go." Sebastian said defeatedly, stretching his arms as he got up from the couch.
One hour later, they were in Sebastian's room, sitting in the desk and going over the most important parts of the last chapter of The Count of Monte Cristo that Sebastian had read. Kurt had already read that book, which proved to be very helpful, since Sebastian was having a hard time finishing it.
Kurt was highlighting something on one of the pages when suddenly; Sebastian pushed himself away from the desk, shoving his chair backwards as he rushed to the bathroom. Kurt was startled and reached to pick up the notebook that had fallen to the floor when he saw something that made his stomach drop to his feet.
Blood.
Kurt rushed to the bathroom and found Sebastian leaning over the sink, wiping his nose with a tissue. There was blood splattered all over the sink and Kurt immediately panicked.
"Fucking nosebleeds." Sebastian hissed, turning to look at Kurt, who was standing by the door, frozen on the spot.
"S-should I call an ambulance?" Kurt asked nervously, but Sebastian just shook his head.
"No… Kurt, I'm fine."
"But the blood-"
"It will stop in a minute!" Sebastian deadpanned, throwing away the bloody tissue he had on his hands and grabbing a new one, hastily wiping his nose with it. Sebastian sat down in the edge of his bathtub, still holding the wrinkled paper towel to his nose and looking down at his feet, where a few drops of blood had stained the floor.
Kurt couldn't help but feel a sense of dread overtaking him. He looked at Sebastian, then at the sink and he realized there was nowhere near as much blood as there had been that time Sebastian had started bleeding at the mall, but still, Kurt had never seen anyone's nose bleed that much, and it scared him. Sebastian must have realized this because he attempted to smile and said.
"Kurt, it's just a nosebleed… I'm fine."
Kurt didn't know what to say, so he walked into the bathroom and picked up another tissue, kneeling down and wiping the drops of Sebastian's blood from the tile.
"You don't have to do that." Sebastian said, putting his hand over Kurt's shoulder. The touch of Sebastian's hand sent shivers through Kurt's spine, but he just breathed in and turned to stare at Sebastian. He looked tired, even behind the tough front he was putting up.
"I know." Kurt said, wiping the floor anyway. "How are you feeling?"
Sebastian shrugged, throwing his tissue in the bin before grabbing another one. "My head hurts a bit."
Kurt stepped up and turned on the faucet, using the water to clean the drops of Sebastian's blood from the sink, and then using another paper towel to clean up. When he was finished, Kurt turned to stare at Sebastian as he wiped his nose. This time, there were just a few drops of blood on the tissue he discarded.
"Did it stop?"
"I think so… yeah."
"Then let's go lie down." Kurt said, extending his hand towards Sebastian, who just sighed and took it, following Kurt back to the bedroom. Kurt didn't let go of Sebastian's hand until they were standing in the foot of Sebastian's bed.
Kurt sat on the edge of it as Sebastian lied down, resting his head on the pillows and still holding a tissue close to his nose. Sebastian stared at Kurt, offered a tight smile and patted the bed next to him, gesturing for Kurt to join him. Kurt smiled weakly and sighed, crawling on the bed to lay down beside Sebastian.
Sebastian was resting on his back, facing the ceiling, but Kurt rested on his side so he could look at him.
"I get these every once in a while… but it's nothing serious. I promise." Sebastian said, and Kurt wanted to believe him, but he couldn't help but think that Sebastian was just brushing it off so Kurt wouldn't worry about him.
"Are you still getting chemo tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I have to." Sebastian sighed, crossing his arms behind his head. "It sucks but… The good thing is that I'll be fine by the time we go to Nationals."
Kurt tried to smile. "How are the rehearsals going?"
"Good… I mean, I only actually rehearse with Jeff but the guys showed me their group number the other day... It's going to be awesome."
Kurt nodded, staring at Sebastian as he kept talking, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Hunter can be a real pain in the ass, but the number is actually amazing... I wish I could be a part of it." Sebastian admitted after a pause.
"You will be, Sebastian... You're going to Nationals!"
"Yeah but… you know what I mean."
Kurt did know what Sebastian meant. He'd seen him dance. Sebastian was a really good dancer. Kurt couldn't imagine how frustrating it must be for him to not be able to dance at Nationals with the rest of his friends.
"Well, at least you get to sing a duet at a National competition…. I never got to do that." Kurt admitted, his attempt was to cheer Sebastian up, but the admission came out a little sad and nostalgic.
"They're idiots, you know?"
"Who?"
"That Glee club you used to be part of."
"It was called The New Directions." Kurt said, smiling.
"Yeah… Well, they're idiots. You have a great voice, they didn't appreciate it when they still had you."
Kurt smiled, not quite being able to stop the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach. "Thanks." He said, hoping his face didn't give away just how flustered he was feeling. "You guys are going to win Nationals. I'm sure of it."
"God, I hope so. Too bad you can't come see us."
"Yeah well, at least I'll get watch you on TV!" Kurt said with a bright smile, "I'll be cheering you on from here!"
"You're a good friend, Kurt." Sebastian said with a warm smile.
Kurt could see the sincerity in Sebastian's gaze, mixed with something else Kurt had never seen in his eyes before. It looked like affection and longing and it only made the butterflies in Kurt's stomach go into overdrive.
"Thanks… Y-you're a good friend too." Was all Kurt could say. He felt suddenly nervous and silly, but Sebastian just smiled before turning to look at the ceiling again. He looked deep in thought and Kurt wondered what was on his mind.
"What's on your mind?" Kurt asked.
"Nothing… I just really don't want to write that essay." Sebastian sighed.
"What do you want to do then?"
"I don't know… Sleep?" Sebastian admitted, between giggles.
"Then sleep… Take a nap, and we'll try again later. Okay?"
"Okay… Yeah." Sebastian said, already yawning as he turned to rest on his side, coming face to face with Kurt. "What are you going to do, though?"
"I'll take a nap too."
"Really?"
"Yeah… You can never take enough naps. Naps are awesome." Kurt said, trying not to let the proximity between them affect him too much. Sebastian's green eyes seemed tired and droopy, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to just tuck him in and let him sleep. Sebastian just smiled and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. He was silent for a couple of minutes and Kurt thought he had fallen asleep, but then he opened his eyes and asked.
"Do I snore?"
"What?" Kurt asked in disbelief.
"You've seen me sleep quite a lot. Do I snore?"
"Um, no… Not that I've noticed."
"Okay good."
Sebastian closed his eyes again and Kurt couldn't help but smile. Kurt waited until Sebastian's breathing had evened out before slowly getting off the bed. He sat at Sebastian's desk and pulled up his laptop. They had started writing up some pointers for Sebastian's essay, but there was nothing substantial to it yet.
Kurt turned to look at Sebastian who was now sleeping soundly in his bed, then turned to the computer and started typing away. He didn't care if it was cheating; Kurt knew Sebastian was trying really hard to keep up with all his school assignments while battling things that were beyond his control. Kurt wasn't going to let him fail his opportunity to graduate just because the chemotherapy was wearing him out.
Sebastian was asleep for the two and a half hours that it took Kurt to write the essay, and it didn't look like he was going to wake up anytime soon. Kurt didn't really know if Sebastian would be annoyed at the fact that Kurt had finished his homework for him. He hoped not, because he'd worked hard on the essay and was pretty proud of it.
Kurt grabbed a sheet of paper and folded it in half. He wrote a note for Sebastian, letting him know he'd written the essay for him and threatening to never make him tofu sandwiches again if he didn't use it. After all, it had taken Kurt almost 3 hours to write the damn thing, and he'd been extra careful about not making too much noise typing to avoid waking Sebastian up.
Kurt put the note over the computer's keyboard and then walked over to Sebastian's bed. He grabbed the comforter and draped it over him. Sebastian stirred a little but didn't wake up. He looked exhausted, and Kurt was sure he would sleep for at least one more hour. Staring at Sebastian as he laid there, so calm and peaceful, Kurt felt himself being overtaken by many different emotions: affection, longing, and concern. Before he could stop himself, Kurt held his breath and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Sebastian's temple. Sebastian's skin felt warm against his lips and Kurt allowed himself to linger for a little while before stepping away.
"Please be okay." Kurt whispered before walking away from the bed. Kurt was extra careful as he closed the door, but the minute it clicked shut, Sebastian opened his eyes. He could still feel the warmth of Kurt's lips where they'd touched his skin, and couldn't help the small smile that spread across his lips.
"I'll be okay." He whispered, even though Kurt couldn't hear it anymore.