Author's note: I AM BACK! Sorry for the long wait guys, but I have been very busy lately :( and sadly I don't think that's gonna change any time soon (ugh). But I do promise you that I will NEVER abandon this story, so even if it takes me awhile to update, you can trust that I am always working on it. This chapter is a long one, so I hope this makes up for the wait :) Enjoy!
It was dark out in the field. The skies were a little cloudy so Kurt didn't even have the moonlight to help him in the search for his phone. Sebastian and him had been looking around the field for awhile with no luck. The darkness, combined with the uneven ground of the field made it extra-difficult, and since Sebastian's phone was dead, they couldn't even use it to shed some light. Kurt didn't know what worried him more, not finding his phone or stepping on horse manure. The night was getting a little windy as well and Kurt could feel it since Sebastian was still wearing his jacket over his shoulders.
Kurt and Sebastian had been pretty much walking around in circles looking for the phone. Well, Kurt was actively looking for it, Sebastian however, appeared to only be mindlessly walking around the field. Kurt found it a little disconcerting, but at least Sebastian wasn't running away anymore… So that was progress.
Kurt was just about to give up on finding his phone when it finally happened. There was an incoming call. The second the screen lit up, Kurt was able to spot the phone in the middle of the field. He rushed to get his phone and quickly picked up the call.
"Mrs. Smythe!"
"Kurt… Sebastian is not here. Have you-"
"I found him! He's here!" Kurt blurted out, a little breathlessly. He heard Mrs. Smythe heave a sigh of relief as he ran over to where Sebastian was standing and handed him the phone.
"It's your mom!"
Sebastian didn't seem excited to talk to his mother at all, but took the phone from Kurt's hand anyway. Kurt could hear Mrs. Smythe's voice from how loud she was speaking, but he couldn't quite make up what she was saying. Sebastian didn't give much away either. His posture was rigid and eyes stern as he spoke through gritted teeth.
"Yes mom… I know…. No… I'm fine. No, mom. Yeah, Kurt is driving. Okay."
By the time Sebastian hung up and handed the phone back to him, Kurt could see that the conversation with his mother clearly had an effect on him… and not a positive one. Sebastian looked visibly upset as he and Kurt walked to the parking lot. They left Sebastian's car at the restaurant, and went back to the hospital in Kurt's car.
The restaurant was not far from the Cleveland Clinic, but the drive to the hospital felt longer than it actually was because of the silence that had settled between Kurt and Sebastian the moment they got inside the car. Kurt kept sneaking glances at Sebastian, who seemed lost in thought as he looked out the window of the passenger seat. Kurt tried to brush off the awkwardness but had quickly given up after his attempts at small talk during the ride were met with nothing but vague monosyllabic responses from Sebastian.
Kurt had even attempted to lighten the mood by telling Sebastian how lucky he was that Kurt hadn't stepped on horse shit, otherwise he would have made him buy him new boots, but it hadn't worked. Sebastian didn't react, not a smile or even a defensive retort, nothing. He just gave a small nod of the head with his eyes still fixed on the window.
So many things had happened that Kurt was still trying to wrap his head around them all. Sebastian was sitting next to him but his mind was definitely elsewhere. Sebastian's facial expression and deflated posture made it seem like Kurt was driving him to his execution. Neither of them said a word until they got to the hospital and Kurt turned off the car.
"Are you ready?" Kurt asked, but Sebastian just sighed.
"Does it matter?"
Sebastian sounded defeated. He didn't seem angry and confrontational as he had been back at the restaurant, yet somehow he seemed even more distant.
Kurt smiled tightly and looked down at his phone, only fifteen minutes had passed since they left the restaurant, and Sebastian's parents would probably take at least an hour to get back from lake Erie.
"It does matter, Sebastian." Kurt said, offering him a sincere smile. "We don't have to go inside yet if you don't want to. I think we have at least an hour before your parents get here... We can stay in the car if you want."
Sebastian breathed in, still looking out the window. "That sounds like fun."
Kurt rolled his eyes. He just couldn't win with Sebastian tonight, could he?
"Well, do you have any other ideas?" Kurt asked, trying to see if he could get some sort of response out of Sebastian, but Sebastian just sighed.
Kurt felt at a loss of what to do. He didn't expect Sebastian to be thrilled about going to the hospital… After all, he'd been running away all day just trying to avoid that. But still, Kurt thought they'd made at least some kind of progress back at the restaurant. When Kurt found Sebastian... When Kurt talked to him... When Kurt kissed him.
Kurt couldn't help thinking back to that moment, replaying it in his head over and over again. The silence between them was starting to go from awkward to uncomfortable, and Kurt couldn't help but wonder if it was because Sebastian was upset about being brought back to the hospital against his will, or if it had anything to do with the fact that Kurt had kissed him.
Gosh, what had Kurt been thinking? He had just acted on instinct, and kissing Sebastian had just felt right at the time. But now, with the awkward silence hanging heavy between them, Kurt couldn't help but second guess himself about the whole thing. He didn't know how Sebastian felt about the kiss. And that was the thing, Kurt couldn't know. Not when Sebastian was practically ignoring him and Kurt had no idea how to behave. It seemed like feigning normalcy was Kurt's safest choice.
Kurt was debating what to say next when Sebastian finally spoke.
"Let's go to Taco Bell."
"Uh… What?" Kurt frowned and gave Sebastian an incredulous look. Sebastian was finally looking at him now, and it seemed like he was dead serious.
"You asked if I could think of something better than just staying here… Well, I want to go to Taco Bell."
"Okay…" Kurt said, not being able to hide a nervous smile. "We can do that… I guess."
Kurt wasn't sure what this was all about, but when he saw Sebastian nod and smile a little, he knew it was the right thing to do. If what Sebastian needed to feel better was greasy junk food, then that's what Kurt was going to get him.
It took them a while to find a Taco Bell, so they decided to order by going through the drive-thru instead of going into the restaurant. They ordered their food and then ate it in the parking lot. Normally, Kurt hated doing that, because his car would probably smell of junk food for days. But right now it didn't really bother him. Sebastian finally seemed to be at more ease. They weren't talking much, but Kurt could tell Sebastian was enjoying himself, and that was all that mattered.
It was funny to a point, Kurt thought to himself as he bit into his burrito. He hadn't eaten Taco Bell in quite a while, since it was not usually his choice of junk food. He'd rather have a three-topping pizza than greasy tacos, but they tasted good and being in the car with Sebastian felt intimate in a different sort of way, so Kurt couldn't help but smile, especially because Sebastian seemed to be enjoying his tacos a little too much, and Kurt couldn't help but laugh a little at the sounds he was making.
"This is amazing." Sebastian moaned through a mouthful, and Kurt couldn't hide his smile at the sight. It was almost endearing how much Sebastian was enjoying himself.
"No, seriously Kurt... You have no idea. My mom has us in this super strict healthy food diet ever since I got diagnosed. No fried foods, no meat, mostly fruits and vegetables... All organic... And it's fine I guess, but I've missed this... I hadn't eaten this stuff in more than three months!"
"Oh… the torture!" Kurt said sarcastically, but Sebastian just nodded in agreement as he unwrapped his second taco.
"So... Are you feeling better?" Kurt asked tentatively, studying Sebastian for a reaction.
"Junk food makes everything better." Sebastian smiled as he finished chewing. But Kurt knew he was avoiding his question. Kurt knew Sebastian wasn't alright, but he really wasn't going to push him to talk if he didn't want to. He knew better than to do that right now.
They ate in silence for a while, but Kurt could tell that Sebastian had something on his mind. Suddenly, Kurt's phone started ringing.
"It's your mom." Kurt said as he watched Mrs. Smythe's name flashing through the screen.
"I don't want to talk to her."
"Why?"
"I just don't."
"Sebastian..." Kurt tried, but Sebastian just looked away, sipping his soda in lieu of actually talking the phone from Kurt's hand.
"Mrs. Smythe, hello."
"Kurt? We're almost at the hospital... How is Sebastian? What did the doctors say?"
"Um... We're not at the hospital..."
"What? Why not?"
"Um... We're nearby... It's just… We were hungry so… we went to get something to eat." Kurt replied nervously. He could feel his cheeks burning up.
"Oh... Where did you go?"
Kurt realized Sebastian must have figured his mom would ask where they ate, or maybe he heard her, cause the look he gave Kurt was almost murderous. Kurt knew better than to let it slip that they were eating Taco Bell, though.
"Oh we're not far... In fact we were leaving just now. We'll be in the hospital in about ten minutes at the most. How about you?"
"We're just a few blocks away... Meet us at the oncology ward, alright?"
"Okay…"
When Kurt ended the call he could immediately tell Sebastian was upset again. His posture was deflated but tense at the same time as he shoved his still unfinished taco into one of the paper bags and put it away. His change of mood was palpable, and it made Kurt feel awkward all over again.
When they made it back to the hospital, Sebastian's parents were waiting for them at the entrance of the oncology ward, and in that moment, Kurt was able to understand why Sebastian had been behaving like he had. Mrs. Smythe looked wrecked, and when she saw Sebastian, she ran to him and hugged him. Any other time that Kurt had seen Mrs. Smythe hugging Sebastian, the moment was tender and sweet, but right now instead of looking happy Mrs. Smythe just looked terribly upset.
Sebastian did nothing but stand there, looking miserable and staring at the ground as his parents berated him for disappearing all day and bombarded him with questions. Kurt knew they were justified in their anger after everything Sebastian put them through that day, but at the same time he couldn't help but wish they would stop, because he knew Sebastian already felt pretty miserable about everything in general.
Mrs. Smythe was so absorbed questioning Sebastian that she barely acknowledged Kurt's presence as they walked with Sebastian into the oncology ward. The doctor was already expecting them and Kurt didn't even have the chance to say any last words to Sebastian before they took him into one of the clinics.
Right before Sebastian disappeared behind the door, he spared one last glance at Kurt, who could do nothing but smile tightly and give him a shy wave. Sebastian didn't smile back, he looked so exhausted that it seemed like smiling would be too big an effort.
Kurt stood in the hallway while the Smythes followed the doctor behind the door. He sighed and looked around, his eyes scanning his surroundings in search for any familiar faces but finding none. The place was empty except for a man sitting in one of the waiting areas, and a few nurses behind the front desk. The place was silent, but there was still a quiet murmur that could be heard, probably from all the things that were surely happening behind the closed doors of the different clinics. Kurt was left with nothing more to do than stare at the white walls and lonely hallways of the oncology ward. Kurt suddenly got chills running down his spine as he realized he was in the dreadful waiting room, alone with no one to talk to, no one to ask about what was going to happen to Sebastian now.
Kurt stared at the door where Sebastian had been taken, wishing he could go inside. It wasn't his place though. As much as it pained Kurt to realize it, he knew this was a moment for Sebastian to be with his parents and figure things out in private. Kurt needed to give them space, and even though he understood it, Kurt just wished he'd had a chance to talk to Sebastian before leaving, to say goodbye, or at least try to reassure him and tell him everything was going to be okay… Because it just had to be.
Kurt turned around and started walking towards the exit when Sebastian's dad called his name.
"Kurt!"
"Mr. Smythe?"
"I'm sorry… Vivienne asked me to come out and talk to you, she's inside with the doctor and Sebas-"
"Oh, you don't have to apologize Mr. Smythe, I completely understand…" Kurt quickly said, smiling as best as he could as Mr. Smythe just nodded, "You should go back there and be with them, don't worry about me."
"You were of great help today Kurt. We probably wouldn't have found Sebastian if it wasn't for you. And I just didn't want you to leave before I got the chance to thank you."
Kurt blushed and smiled and hesitated for a split second before asking. "Mr. Smythe, can I ask you something?"
"Yes?"
"Sebastian's condition… How serious is it?"
Mr. Smythe sighed, giving Kurt a stern look, and Kurt couldn't help the sinking feeling that started creeping up on him.
"I honestly don't know Kurt… Things aren't looking good. But we can't know for sure."
Kurt nodded understandingly.
"I am very worried about Sebastian... Taking off like that? He'd never done this before… He knows his health condition is delicate. He knew he needed to be admitted, but he just… He just ran off!" Mr. Smythe seemed at a complete loss of what to do, and Kurt had never seen him like this before.
"We're trying to talk to him, but he's shutting us down. He won't tell us anything… He just keeps saying he is fine. Did he say anything to you Kurt?"
Mr. Smythe's question took him by surprise. Kurt didn't know what to say… Apparently Sebastian had told him more than he was willing to share with his parents at the moment. He didn't want to lie to Mr. Smythe, but he didn't want to betray Sebastian's trust either.
"Um… Not really, just… He seemed pretty upset. I just think Sebastian wanted some space to think about things."
Mr. Smythe didn't say anything, he just nodded and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Don't worry Mr. Smythe, I know Sebastian will be okay. He is strong, he'll pull through."
"Thanks Kurt."
When Mr. Smythe said goodbye and walked back towards the clinic, Kurt sighed. He desperately hoped Sebastian would be okay, cause the alternative was too scary to even think about.
…
On Sunday, Kurt was feeling uncomfortable and antsy. He was very tired, but he felt like he couldn't rest when he had so many things on his mind. His mind was filled with thoughts of Sebastian. Kurt felt out of place staying home, because he ached to just get in his car and drive to the hospital to visit Sebastian, but at the same time he didn't want to intrude. Kurt had texted Sebastian, asking him how he was doing, but Sebastian hadn't responded. It wasn't unusual for Sebastian to take long or not reply to texts at all while he was in the hospital, Kurt knew that by now. But given the current circumstances, Sebastian's silence only made Kurt feel more worried with all the possibilities of what was going to happen.
It was only eleven in the morning, so rationally, Kurt knew he shouldn't be so impatient. Sebastian was probably sleeping, or getting some tests done… or just busy. Kurt knew Sebastian was safe in the hospital, but he couldn't help himself. He'd had an early breakfast that morning with his dad, Carole and Finn. Any other day that would have been relaxing and nothing but pleasant, but given that Kurt had come back to the house at almost midnight the day before, they all were curious about what happened, and their breakfast conversation had mostly revolved around Sebastian, which of course only resulted in Kurt's frustration growing bigger. Kurt really had no clue of what was going to happen with him, all he really knew was that Sebastian was hospitalized, and that he needed a bone marrow transplant. But what did that even mean, really?
That growing uncertainty was what lead Kurt to his current predicament. He was locked up in his room, and he had been sitting in front of the computer for more than two hours google-searching bone marrow transplants and leukemia information. It was like last year all over again, when his dad had first shared the dreadful news of his cancer diagnosis over Christmas break. Kurt browsed through the dozens of websites, searching information about cancer, and all the information overwhelmed him. This time though, it was worse because Kurt didn't even know what kind of leukemia Sebastian had, or the exact details of his current condition. One thing was for certain though, bone marrow transplants were a complicated procedure, and if you needed one, it meant that you were in deep trouble.
Kurt was suddenly startled when his phone started ringing. He took his phone and stared at the picture on the screen as it flashed with the incoming call from Blaine. Kurt stared at it until the call was missed. He didn't want to talk right now, but he couldn't help feel a little bad ignoring Blaine's call. It could be something important… or maybe not.
A few minutes after the lost call, Kurt received a text from Blaine.
Blaine: Kurt… Are you there? I just want to know if you have heard from Sebastian?
Blaine: The guys are asking me if there's any news. They're worried.
Blaine: And so am I.
Kurt sighed, maybe texting wasn't as hard as talking on the phone. He didn't want to ignore Blaine, especially if he wanted to know if Sebastian was okay. Kurt just didn't have the energy to talk to him right now.
Kurt: Sorry. I just can't talk right now. But yes, we found him. He is alright, but he is hospitalized.
A few minutes passed, and then Blaine texted him again.
Blaine: Trent wants to know which hospital it is, and if they can visit.
Kurt found it more than a little odd that Trent wasn't texting him directly, and was talking through Blaine instead. Trent had Kurt's number, and they had texted each other before.
Kurt: He's in the Cleveland Clinic, not sure what room. I'll find out and text you later.
Blaine: Okay.
Kurt knew he had to talk to Mrs. Smythe to find out how Sebastian was doing and what room he was staying in, but just the thought of calling her made him nervous, and he didn't even know why. Luckily for Kurt, he didn't need to call Mrs. Smythe, because later that same day, she texted him with an update, telling him Sebastian was doing fine and telling him what room he was in, in case Kurt wanted to visit.
…
On Monday, when Kurt arrived at the hospital, he was feeling a little nervous. First, because he hadn't spoken to Sebastian since Saturday night, and he didn't know how he was doing now; and second, because as much as he had tried to not think about it, Kurt had kissed Sebastian… on the lips, and he had no idea of what that meant, or what was going to happen now.
Kurt tried to push away those thoughts and quickly made his way to the tenth floor. When he finally reached Sebastian's room, he realized the door was half-opened. From where he was standing, he could see that the room was not dark, so he guessed Sebastian should be awake. Kurt walked over and intended to push the door open, but froze on the spot when he heard a voice coming in from the room. It was a female voice he didn't quite recognize. Kurt stood still, listening to the conversation inside to see if he could figure out who it was.
After a couple of seconds of eavesdropping, Kurt felt like a creep. He leaned in a bit and glanced through the crack in the doorway, and that's when he saw Dr. Mitchell, sitting on a chair on the foot of Sebastian's bed. Sebastian was sitting straight, with his arms crossed, and staring at the window. Kurt quickly stepped away from the door, hoping he hadn't been spotted. He stood in silence for a few seconds, wondering what to do. He couldn't intrude right now and interrupt them, right? But on the other hand, there weren't any chairs for him to sit in the hallway, the only ones were in the waiting room, and Kurt really really didn't want to go there.
Sebastian would probably appreciate the interruption, since Kurt remembered his reluctance to go to therapy or even assist the support group Dr. Mitchell suggested. But if Kurt interrupted them he knew he wouldn't be doing the right thing. Not really. Kurt was struggling with himself when suddenly the door was opened and Dr. Mitchell almost bumped into him.
"Oh, Kurt… I didn't realize you were out here!"
"Oh… I wasn't! I mean... I just got here... Yeah." Kurt stammered through his own nervousness.
"Well, it's good to see you, take care." Dr. Mitchell said, giving him a polite nod and then walking away.
Kurt felt his cheeks burning with embarrassment as he just shook his head and walked into Sebastian's room.
"Hi…" Kurt said tentatively, studying Sebastian as he walked into the room. Sebastian smiled tightly and waved. He was sitting cross legged on the bed, and had an IV line attached to the port in his chest. Kurt tried not to stare, but it made his own chest hurt thinking about the needle.
"How are you?"
"Great… Just peachy." Sebastian replied with a big smile. All of the sudden seeming unusually chipper, and Kurt couldn't help but find it very odd.
"Peachy?"
"What? Don't I look like it?" Sebastian challenged, and Kurt squinted his eyes skeptically. "I'm in the hospital, right where I belong, aren't I? All drugged up and pumped full of other people's healthy blood… Life is just fantastic!" Sebastian sing-songed, and Kurt felt completely puzzled.
Wait… Drugged up? Kurt wondered what Sebastian meant by that, but didn't dare to ask out loud.
Kurt walked over to the window and took a look outside before turning to face Sebastian again. He had a big smile plastered over his face. But Kurt could tell it was as fake as Santana's breasts. Sebastian's overly-chipper attitude was slowly putting Kurt on edge. He stared at Sebastian for awhile and said nothing, just to see if he would crack and finally admit he was joking or something. But Sebastian remained the same.
"This is weird." Kurt said, smiling awkwardly.
"What is weird?"
"Well, you say you're happy… But I don't quite believe you are."
"Oh yeah, and why's that?"
"Well, the last time I saw you, you were angry about having to come back here. Angry enough to completely disregard the world and hide from everyone who cares about you for almost an entire day… And now, Dr. Mitchell was just here, which probably means you had a therapy session with her, and I don't recall you being exactly on board with that a few months ago."
"What? I love Dr. Mitchell… We talked for an entire hour. I told her all about my hopes and dreams, fears and feelings."
Kurt was starting to really get annoyed with Sebastian's attitude.
"Okay Sebastian, you need to stop that."
"Stop what?"
"You know what... You're acting weird, what's going on?"
"Nothing… I already told you, I'm just-"
"Don't bullshit me, Sebastian."
Sebastian's eyes went wide, but he didn't seem offended, he seemed surprised, or impressed even.
"Bullshit? I'm wounded, Kurt. I'm not lying… I'm feeling great, really." Sebastian said, putting his arms behind his head and laying down on the pillows. Kurt was starting to wonder if the 'drugged up' thing Sebastian had said earlier was actually true now. Was Sebastian on drugs? Was that why he was acting like this? Kurt had no idea, but something didn't feel right.
"Where's your mom and dad?" Kurt asked, trying to change the topic.
"Oh, they went out to meet with some realtor… You know, 'apartment hunting'. But it's okay, cause they can still check up on me... Hi mom!" Sebastian said, waving at the top right corner of the room, smiling ridiculously wide. Kurt spotted the camera immediately and when he turned back to Sebastian he caught him rolling his eyes.
Oh. Now everything made sense. Sebastian was being watched and that is why he was behaving like this. Kurt knew there was something going on, but he never expected this to be it. Kurt felt suddenly incredibly self-conscious. They probably had audio too, so that was why Sebastian was behaving like this. He wasn't bullshitting Kurt, he was bullshitting his parents!
Kurt gave Sebastian an understanding nod and pulled the chair Dr. Mitchell had been using closer to where Sebastian was. He sat down so his back was facing the camera and then crossed his arms over his chest.
'What now?' he mouthed silently.
Sebastian shook his head and sat up. He then leaned down over to where Kurt was sitting and whispered: "I'm actually bored as fuck and dangerously close to punching the next nurse that comes through that door."
Even though it was an awful thing for Sebastian to say, Kurt still laughed a little because it was the most genuine thing to come out of Sebastian's mouth since Kurt had gotten there.
"That's probably not the best idea."
Sebastian sighed, laying down on the bed. He turned to his side, facing the windows. His face was hidden from camera view now.
"Everything fucking sucks."
Kurt didn't know what to say. Sebastian wasn't looking at him, his eyes were fixed on the window. The room had a really nice view of the city, but you had to actually stand up to appreciate it. Sebastian couldn't really see it from his position on the bed, so Kurt wondered exactly what he was looking at. After a while of awkward silence, Kurt started to over-think everything. He didn't want to say "Yeah, everything sucks." but he also didn't want to be overly enthusiastic when Sebastian was in such a foul mood.
"Well… I'm here now, what more could you possibly need?" Kurt said, trying to be funny, but Sebastian just smiled apologetically.
"Yeah, sorry about that."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"Cause this place is depressing."
"Well… Maybe, but you're not depressing." Kurt said, making a subtle attempt at cheering Sebastian up. Sadly, it didn't work.
"That's what you think now, but you won't be saying that in a couple of weeks." Sebastian whispered defeatedly, closing his eyes and hiding his face in the pillows.
Whoa... In that moment, Kurt almost wished Sebastian kept the fake and chipper facade he was putting up just a few minutes ago. He didn't know what to do with all of Sebastian's sudden negativity. Kurt had been stressing out, wondering how Sebastian was going to behave around him after the kiss, but how was Kurt supposed to even figure anything out if Sebastian was refusing to even look at him?
Kurt breathed in and steadied himself in the chair. He wasn't going to put up with this crap from Sebastian. Kurt hadn't drove for hours just to stare at the side of his face. He hesitated for half a second, but then got up from his chair, and grabbed each of Sebastian's hands and began to flail them wildly about.
"Come. On. Sebastiannnnn! Don't be like this!"
"Aaahhhhh… Aaahhh!" Sebastian whined as Kurt kept shaking him. "What the hell are you doinnnng?"
"Shaking you out of your self pity!"
"It is not self pity!" Sebastian said, shaking Kurt off and sitting up in the bed. If looks could kill, Kurt knew he would definitely be dead by now, but he wasn't giving up that easily.
"It is!" Kurt accused, staring at him dead in the eye.
"It's not… Okay?"
"Then stop ignoring me!"
"I'm not ignoring you…"
Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes. He was getting incredibly frustrated with Sebastian, more frustrated than he had ever been before… And that was really saying something.
"Listen I know it sucks to be here, but you have to see the positive side Sebastian…"
"What positive side?" Sebastian asked, and Kurt had nothing to say at the top of his head in that moment. Once Sebastian noticed Kurt wasn't going to say anything, he just shook his head and dropped down on the bed again.
"There is no positive side to this Kurt. And saying that is not being pessimistic, it's just the truth." Sebastian whispered, his voice was so low that Kurt almost didn't hear him. Sebastian was staring at the ceiling now, and Kurt couldn't help but feel like he was being ignored all over again. Part of him felt silly, and he knew that Sebastian had a lot of things going on in his mind, and Kurt's feelings were probably the last thing on his list of priorities, but still… It bugged him.
Kurt got up and looked out the window, wondering what to do next. The city seemed so distant and silent from where he was standing. So many people coming and going, living their lives and going about their businesses while Kurt was up there, stuck in a hospital room with a moody Sebastian and no idea about what to do. He wished he could take Sebastian out… Anywhere. Kurt remembered how it was when they went shopping to the mall. It had been amazing to be with Sebastian and just goof around, eating ice cream and then making him try out all sorts of outfits. It had been fun. Well… It was fun until Sebastian almost bled to death.
Kurt sighed, staring at the gardens outside the hospital and suddenly got an idea. He turned around and walked out of the room. He didn't know if Sebastian even noticed he'd left, but he had a mission. Kurt approached the nurse station down the hall and smiled when he spotted the familiar face of Felicia. That definitely gave him a little bit more courage to do what he was about to do.
….
When Kurt got back to the room, Sebastian was facing the windows again.
"Sebastian… Get up."
Sebastian turned around and when he saw Kurt standing by the door, pushing a wheelchair, he just frowned in complete disbelief.
"What the hell?"
"Come on… Get up, we're going out."
"What? Where? And why on earth do we need a wheelchair?"
"I'm taking you out to one of the balconies on the seventeenth floor."
Sebastian squinted his eyes, "O-kay… I still don't know why we need the wheelchair."
"Hospital policy." Felicia said, walking into the room. "Kurt is keeping an eye on you, but we can't let you out just like that. You ride the wheels, or you stay here. Your choice." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
Sebastian stared at Kurt in disbelief, and then stared at the chair like it had personally offended him.
"I don't need a wheelchair. I'm not crippled, I can walk."
Felicia just raised an eyebrow and for a moment, Kurt thought Sebastian was going to tell them to screw themselves or something, but then Sebastian got up from the bed, grabbed his beanie from the bedside table, and put it on.
"Fine, but what do I do about this?" Sebastian asked, pointing to the IV bag hanging over his bed.
"You can take it with you." Felicia said, walking over to the post and moving it towards the wheelchair. "This rod is attached to the base of the chair so you can move it around, just be careful with it."
"Fine… But I can do this myself, I don't need you to push me around." Sebastian said, looking at Kurt.
"Okay." Kurt said, trying hard not to show just how excited he was.
Kurt walked beside Sebastian as he rolled the wheelchair down the hallway until they reached the elevator. Once inside, Kurt pressed the button for the 17th floor and stood by as the elevator started moving. He was about to say something to Sebastian when he realized Sebastian was rubbing his temples.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah… I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes, Kurt. It's nothing."
Sebastian seemed to have a headache or something, and Kurt wondered if he there was something wrong. Because if something happened to Sebastian, Mrs. Smythe was going to skin Kurt alive and then kill him. So when they reached the seventeenth floor, Kurt stepped behind Sebastian and pushed the wheelchair out of the elevator. Sebastian protested mildly but did nothing to stop Kurt as he pushed the wheelchair all the way towards the garden balcony. Once they were outside, Kurt smiled widely, the view was amazing and place was beautiful. It was a sort of terrace, and even though it was small, it was still a nice enough change from the dull hospital room Sebastian was stuck in. Kurt was really proud of himself for being able to get them here, and he hoped Sebastian was too.
"So… What do you think?" Kurt asked Sebastian, who was still sitting in the wheelchair. Sebastian looked up at him and smiled, shaking his head.
"You're insane, did you know that?" Sebastian said, slowly pushing himself up from the wheelchair. "My mom is going to freak out when she finds out we're here."
"No she won't. Felicia said she'd call her to let her know we were up here. Relax."
Sebastian gave Kurt an impressed nod as he walked over to the edge of the balcony. Kurt walked to stand beside him and for a few minutes they just stared down at the city. It was a beautiful sight to behold. The afternoon was bright and warm, with just enough clouds in the sky to make it beautiful. Sebastian and Kurt stared at the city, both silently admiring the view.
After about ten minutes of being up there in the terrace, standing next to each other in silence, Kurt's thoughts started plotting against him again. Sebastian was there with him, but they weren't talking or anything. In fact, Kurt was sure that Sebastian was avoiding eye contact with him again. Kurt could slowly feel things getting awkward again. Could this be happening? Had Kurt managed to make things weird between him and Sebastian because of that kiss?
As much as Kurt tried to convince himself that it was not the case, there was a little voice inside his head screaming at him that he had screwed things up. He really wanted that little voice to shut up, so he decided to just ask Sebastian and find out once and for all.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Hmm?" Sebastian said, still not looking at him.
"Are you mad at me?"
Sebastian turned around to see him and frowned. "No… Why would I?"
"I don't know… You're acting all awkward and weird around me, and I just want to know why. So tell me."
"I'm not acting weird Kurt-" Sebastian started, but Kurt cut him off before he could finish his sentence.
"Is it because I kissed you? " Kurt blurted out, his heart beating hard inside his chest.
Sebastian stared at him for a good couple of seconds, before bursting out laughing. Actually laughing out loud like Kurt had never seen him laugh before. There were even tears in the corner of his eyes from how hard he was laughing.
"Are you serious right now? Why would I even... Oh my god." Sebastian kept laughing and Kurt could feel his cheeks burning up.
"Well, I did kiss you... out of the blue…" Kurt said, trying to explain himself "I kissed you, and I know it was just a tiny little thing, but you've been acting so weird ever since that I thought-"
"Kurt, relax… It was just a kiss. It's not like you blew me or anything!"
"Oh my god Sebastian!"
Only Sebastian would make a crass sexual comment in a moment like this. Kurt was trying to be serious and Sebastian just thought it was a big joke? Kurt wanted to smack him in the head for making fun of him like this, but also because now his mind was reeling, thinking about what it would be like to actually blow Sebastian.
Kurt shouldn't be thinking about those things, he was so red that the embarrassment he felt was infuriating.
When Sebastian finally stopped laughing, he just looked at Kurt and shook his head, still smiling. Kurt rolled his eyes and then looked away, taking deep breaths and trying to gather courage from the view of the city. He had already touched the subject, there was no backing-out now. He needed to know.
"So… Are we going to talk about it?"
"Talk about what?"
"About the kiss."
Sebastian stared at Kurt for a couple of seconds, then he wrinkled his nose above an awkward smile and said: "I'd rather not talk about it... No."
In that moment, Kurt felt his stomach sinking with the familiar sting of rejection. Of course Sebastian wouldn't want to talk about it. There was nothing to talk about, right? The kiss had been a spur of the moment thing that Kurt should have never done. Gosh, he was so stupid. No matter what Sebastian said before, Kurt had screwed things up big time. Because he had thought the kiss meant something when it obviously didn't. Kurt had been so anxious to touch the subject and Sebastian didn't even want to talk about it? Fine… If this is how things were going to be, then Kurt would be fine. He was determined to save what little remained of his dignity, so he just turned to Sebastian with the intention of just smiling and changing the subject, but before he could even turn his head all the way, Sebastian was invading his personal space, then his hands were on Kurt's cheeks, cupping his face as he leaned down and pressed their lips together.
Kurt was taken completely off guard by Sebastian, as he held him in place and kissed him. This kiss was not like the previous one though. It was firm and steady, slow and wet. Sebastian's hands felt cool on Kurt's skin, but they were also soft. Kurt could feel Sebastian's thumb caress his cheek for a brief second as his lips moved slowly over Kurt's. Kurt had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but he was just starting to melt into it when Sebastian pulled away. Kurt felt a little lightheaded, and tried to find words after a couple of seconds of just gaping.
"I… I thought you didn't want to kiss me." He blurted out, and Sebastian just smirked.
"No... I said I didn't want to talk about it… There's a difference."
Kurt was speechless, but he couldn't help but laugh. What did that even mean?
"It's not you though…" Sebastian continued, "I just don't feel like talking about anything today."
"There's something bothering you." Kurt said. It's wasn't a question, it was a statement. Sebastian just sighed, eyes fixed on the view of the city below them.
"Hunter called earlier today. He and the guys want to come visit me later."
Oh.
"So… You don't wanna see them?"
"It's not that."
"Then what is it?"
"I just don't like getting visitors here… It's pathetic." Sebastian said, making a disgusted face.
"I visit you."
"Yeah well you don't count."
"Why not?" Kurt said, offended.
"I don't know, you just don't... You're different."
I'm different? Kurt thought to himself. But didn't dare ask it out loud, because even though Sebastian wasn't looking at him again, he was smiling. Kurt felt a warmth that felt awfully like butterflies blooming in his stomach as he stared at Sebastian. He suddenly felt the urge to just step up and kiss him again, but unfortunately they were interrupted by Felicia.
"Sebastian! Time to come back inside… You have visitors honey!"
Kurt turned to look at Sebastian, who now looked like he wanted to jump off the balcony. He didn't say anything though, Sebastian just sighed and sat down in the wheelchair again. This time, when Kurt stood behind him and pushed, Sebastian didn't complain at all.
…
When Kurt and Sebastian entered the room, they found Trent, Jeff and Hunter waiting inside.
"Hey guys." Sebastian said, smiling as he stood up from the wheelchair. The guys greeted him with enthusiasm but also with worry.
"Why are you in a wheelchair Seb, what happened?" Trent asked.
"Nothing, just stupid hospital policies. I'm fine." Sebastian replied, smiling and patting Trent in the back as he sat down on the edge of the bed.
There were only two chairs inside Sebastian's room, and one small couch on the other side of the room. So Jeff and Trent sat in the chairs and Kurt sat beside Sebastian on the bed. Hunter remained standing up right in front of everyone as they chatted and asked Sebastian all sorts of questions.
"So… Is that like, surgery?" Trent asked Sebastian in regards of the bone marrow transplant.
"No, not at all… From what I've heard, it's like getting a blood transfusion or something." Sebastian said with a wry smile.
"And when are you getting it? Will it be soon?" Jeff asked.
"We don't know. Um… We have to find a donor match first."
"You don't have a donor?" Hunter asked sternly, and Sebastian shook his head.
"Not yet, no. They're still searching for one. It could take days, or weeks or… I don't know, really."
Kurt felt like a mere spectator just sitting beside Sebastian and not really bringing anything into the conversation that was unfolding in front of him. But the thing was that he really didn't want to be a part of it. It wasn't that Kurt didn't care about what was being discussed, in fact it was quite the opposite. All the things The Warblers were asking Sebastian were things Kurt had been dying to know, but unlike them, Kurt knew Sebastian didn't enjoy being asked so many questions about his health.
"And what happens if they don't find a match?" Trent asked and Hunter gave him a death glare, but it was too late. Trent's words already hung heavy in the air between the five people in the room.
Sebastian just shrugged and said, "Well… I'll die, basically."
The silence was deafening after Sebastian said that, even though he'd said it like it wasn't a big deal. Kurt could see that Trent already regretted asking, and Hunter looked like he wanted to smack him.
"Then we should get tested. Can we get tested?" Jeff asked, standing up from his chair.
"That's a great idea, Jeff. What's your blood type, Sebastian?" Hunter asked.
"I'm A negative, but it's not just blood type they're looking for, it's something more complex called AHL tissue-type. Apparently no one in the national registry matches mine, so that's why they're still searching."
"Could we get tested here?" Asked Kurt, speaking for the first time since the Warblers arrived.
"Uh… Yeah, we can ask Felicia to take you to the lab downstairs. I think they just need a swab from your cheek, it's a really easy procedure."
The three guys nodded in understanding, and so did Kurt. They all agreed to go get tested to help Sebastian, and seemed very determined about helping to find a donor. Hunter said he would tell the rest of the guys to get tested too. They didn't need to drive all the way to Cleveland, they could get tested at Westerville and then have the results mailed to Sebastian's doctor.
"Anyway, what are you guys even doing here? You should be rehearsing for Friday, shouldn't you?" Sebastian asked, smiling expectantly at his three friends, and probably trying to change the subject.
"We're going to rehearse later tonight." Hunter quickly added, "We just really wanted to stop by and check up on you Sebastian. The rest of the guys wanted to come too, but we didn't think it was such a good idea to gang up on you when you're in the hospital."
"It's fine, thanks for coming anyway." Sebastian said, sighing defeatedly. "I feel like I failed you all… Dropping out so close to the competition."
"Sebastian, don't say that… You didn't just 'drop out', this is far beyond your control." Hunter said, and then Jeff quickly nodded in agreement.
"Yeah man, you just have to focus on getting better, and we will figure things out. Don't even worry about it." Jeff said.
"We're just super bummed that you're not coming with us, that's all." Trent added.
"Trust me, there's nothing I wanted more than to go to Nationals with you guys. This sucks." Sebastian said, giving them a sad and tired attempt at a smile. Kurt realized in that moment just how hard this was for Sebastian. He looked defeated and disappointed, and Kurt wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him. But he didn't feel free to do it, not in front of the other guys at least.
The Warblers didn't stay for long, which was probably for the best. They said their goodbyes not even one full hour after they arrived, with the excuse of having to go back to rehearse with the rest of the group, who were working on who could take Sebastian's place in the duet with Jeff.
They said their goodbyes to Sebastian and then Kurt walked with them to search for Felicia, who was more than happy to take them downstairs so they could take a tissue sample to get tested. Unfortunately, the results weren't delivered immediately, so the doctor said if any of them matched Sebastian, they would be notified.
Kurt went back to Sebastian's room once the guys finally left. When he entered the room, Kurt could tell Sebastian's mood had drastically changed. He seemed tired and withdrawn, even more so than when Kurt had first arrived to the hospital earlier that day, but when Kurt asked him about it, Sebastian said it was nothing.
Kurt didn't want to push Sebastian for answers, especially after all the questions that Hunter, Jeff and Trent had thrown at him during their visit. So he just pulled out his iPad and suggested they watch some more LOST episodes, which Sebastian agreed to.
A couple of hours later, when Kurt left the hospital, Sebastian appeared to be feeling better, and because of that, so did Kurt.
…
On Tuesday, Kurt wasn't able to visit Sebastian, he was busy with his dad, running some errands and helping Finn with some costume ideas for a special superhero Glee club assignment. Kurt was a little sad about not seeing Sebastian, but at least this time he was actually answering Kurt's texts. When Kurt asked him how he was feeling, Sebastian said he was happy because his sister was coming down from New York on Saturday. And he was looking forward to seeing her, since the last time they'd seen each other was in early January.
Kurt was excited at the prospect of finally meeting Catherine in person. They had only ever texted each other through Facebook, but she seemed like a really nice person. Kurt knew Sebastian loved her, so he was happy that she was coming to spend some time with her brother. Anything they could do to cheer Sebastian up was highly appreciated, since his mood seemed to fluctuate a lot.
Some days, Sebastian would act like his normal self, still complaining about things but at the same time providing playful banter whenever Kurt called or was around him. But other times, he would be moody and withdrawn, and those were the days that frustrated Kurt the most. It also worried Kurt, because he could tell that with every day that passed, Sebastian was feeling worse. Kurt had seen him on Monday, but on Wednesday when he visited him again, Sebastian looked completely different. He even asked for the wheelchair when Kurt suggested they go outside to the balcony again.
After that day, Kurt promised himself that he would do everything he could to visit Sebastian every day. The Smythes had rented an apartment nearby so they could live closer to the hospital during the time Sebastian was hospitalized, and Mrs. Smythe had even offered Kurt a room in the apartment for him to stay if he wanted to, and even though Kurt appreciated their hospitality, he didn't want to intrude.
On Friday, when Kurt suggested they go outside again, the nurse told them Sebastian was no longer allowed to leave the room. That is the moment when Kurt started to panic. Sebastian's health was deteriorating quickly and the doctors still hadn't found a donor match for his bone marrow transplant. Kurt wasn't a match, and even though Hunter had made the rest of the Warblers get tested as well, none of them were a match for Sebastian either. It was overall a very frustrating situation, and Kurt felt powerless. He wanted to help Sebastian, but now he couldn't even take him out to the balcony. Everything sucked.
"It's fine, Kurt… I didn't really want to go outside today anyway." Sebastian said, but Kurt could tell that he was only saying it so Kurt wouldn't feel bad for him.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like shit… You know, the usual." Sebastian said, smiling tiredly as he pulled the covers up to his chest.
Sebastian had already turned down Kurt's idea of playing Jenga, and he said he wasn't in the mood to watch TV. A nurse came into the room, bringing Sebastian's pills with her. Kurt sat in silence as he saw Sebastian swallow pill after pill.
"I wish there was something I could do to cheer you up." Kurt said.
"Well... We could make out." Sebastian said, winking at Kurt before swallowing the last couple of pills. "But I doubt you'd like that, given that my mouth probably tastes like medicine right now. But I guess we could always find other things to entertain ourselves with." Sebastian said lewdly, though it was obvious to Kurt that he was doing it more to make the nurse uncomfortable than to actually hit on him.
Kurt tried to hold his laughter, rolling his eyes and feeling second hand embarrassment for the nurse, who was obviously trying to keep a straight face. When she finally left, Kurt smacked Sebastian's leg playfully with the magazine he had in his hand.
"You know you should really stop making those comments, or they'll ban me from visiting you."
Sebastian didn't say anything, he just smiled as he drank some more water.
"Besides, there's no way I'm kissing you here, especially not in front of your mother." Kurt said, pointing to the camera on the corner.
"Fine… It's your loss." Sebastian said, laying down on the bed again.
Sebastian looked tired, but at least he was teasing Kurt, and that was a good sign. Kurt liked that, because it meant that Sebastian was in good spirits despite everything that was happening. There was an elephant in the room though, and Kurt was not willing to ignore it for much longer.
"It's a little under one hour until the broadcast starts, you know… We could watch another episode of LOST before it starts." Kurt said, and Sebastian immediately tensed up.
"I already told you, I'm not in the mood for TV."
"You're not in the mood for TV, or just not in the mood for Nationals?"
"Kurt, for the tenth time, I am not-"
"Sebastian, don't be like this."
"I'm not watching it."
Kurt groaned, he felt like pulling his hair out in frustration. Sebastian was just so stubborn sometimes. Kurt couldn't for the life of him understand why Sebastian didn't want to watch The Warblers perform at Nationals. Trent had texted Kurt earlier to tell him the exact time of the broadcast so they wouldn't miss it, but Sebastian was throwing a fit, refusing to watch it.
"Where's the remote?"
"I don't know… Haven't used it today."
Kurt knew Sebastian was probably lying, but it was going to take more than Sebastian hiding the remote for Kurt to give up. He got up and started looking for it. All the while, Sebastian was sitting on the bed, looking pissed off beyond belief.
When Kurt was finished looking for the remote around the room, he realized there was only one place he hadn't looked.
"You're hiding it under your pillow, aren't you?"
Sebastian just shrugged and looked out the window, arms crossed over his chest. Kurt shook his head in disbelief and decided to turn the TV on manually. It was a drag to have to change the channels like this, especially since the TV was attached to the wall pretty high. But Kurt was determined to watch the broadcast even if Sebastian didn't want to.
Suddenly, the TV was turned off and when Kurt turned around he realized Sebastian was holding the remote in his hands. Kurt turned the TV on again, and Sebastian turned it off again.
"Sebastian."
"Kurt, give it up."
"I don't understand why you're being like this!" Kurt accused, raising his voice a little, "Don't you want to see your friends perform? Don't you want to support them, at least from afar?"
"Support them? What's the point? They're probably losing anyway."
"What?"
"Don't you get it, Kurt? The Warblers accommodated their performance for me to be able to participate, and I screwed them over at the very last minute." Sebastian yelled, looking visibly upset. "Four days are not enough for them to come up with something new to perform! And no matter what Jeff says, David is not going to be able to sing that duet with him as well as I would have. Their voices just don't blend together. They're going to lose... And it's all my fault. You think I wanna torture myself watching that on National television? No thanks."
Kurt had no idea that Sebastian felt this way about the situation. He seemed so disappointed and angry that Kurt felt a little bad, but at the same time, he wasn't going to let Sebastian put himself down like that.
"Sebastian, I get that you're upset because you didn't get to go to Nationals with them… But it wasn't your fault. You can't control what's going on with your body, and besides, remember what Hunter said, they don't blame you… So you shouldn't blame yourself either."
Sebastian's face softened a little, but Kurt could tell he was still upset.
"I just can't help but feel like I screwed them over. Even if it wasn't intentional, I still feel like I ruined things for them... You know?"
"Look, Nationals are a tough competition. There are lots of really talented show choirs participating, I know that. But The Warblers are really good, Sebastian, I think they have good chances of winning… And besides, they're your friends, and they're excited to even get to compete even if they don't win."
"I don't know." Sebastian groaned, rubbing his face with his hands.
"Trent texted me earlier. He said he was very excited to perform, and he told me to make sure you watched. They're your friends, Sebastian… So let's just watch it, okay?"
Sebastian seemed thoughtful, and Kurt really didn't know if his little pep-talk had convinced him to stop being stubborn, but he could only hope.
"Fine." Sebastian finally said, and Kurt tried as best as he could to hide his smile a little as he went back to sit beside Sebastian. Kurt grabbed the remote from Sebastian, turned on the TV and quickly found the channel where the competition was being broadcasted. They had some sort of pre-show going on, and Kurt couldn't help but feel a little bit of nostalgia as he saw the shots of the different choir groups together, dressed in coordinated outfits and with big, excited smiles on their faces. It made Kurt think about the times he competed with the New Directions, and how exciting and thrilling it was to be in a different city, ready to sing your heart out performing in front of hundreds of people.
Soon, Sebastian's grumpy facade vanished, as he and Kurt started making comments about the costumes of the different show choirs. There was a group all dressed in white, with some weird hats that made them look like the Pope. Even Sebastian who didn't really care for fashion said that they were dreadful, and Kurt couldn't stop laughing as he imagined them singing catholic hymns.
"It's too bad we can't get popcorn here..." Kurt said, and Sebastian just shook his head, smiling.
"You can probably get some downstairs, in the vending machines." Sebastian said, and Kurt wondered for a second if he could make a run for it, but the show had already started and he didn't want to risk missing the Warblers' performance.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the twenty first National Show Choir competition!"
And so it began. Kurt felt strangely awkward listening to the dialog from the presenters as the show began. Usually he was backstage with the rest of the performers and didn't really get to hear all the commentary. It seemed like the presenters had quite a lot to say about each one of the groups before and after they performed. Kurt wondered what kind of things the presenters must have said that dreadful time when Rachel and Finn decided to make out in the middle of their performance, costing them the competition.
There was a group called The Soundbytes performing at the moment, and they weren't bad at all, even though they were singing remixed songs from Footloose. Suddenly, Kurt's stomach growled, and the sound was so loud that even Sebastian heard it, which caused him to burst out laughing.
"I think you're stomach is singing louder than those guys." Sebastian said teasingly, and Kurt just rolled his eyes.
"Shut up."
"Why don't you go downstairs and get some Doritos or something?"
"I don't know… I really want some popcorn. But I guess Doritos sound pretty good too."
Sebastian laughed but then his phone chimed in with a text. He stared down at his phone and smiled.
"It's Trent… He says the Warblers are up next."
Kurt breathed in, hoping with all his heart that The Warblers would do an excellent job.
"And now, from Westerville Ohio, The Dalton Academy Warblers!"
Kurt couldn't stop himself from making clappy hands as The Warblers entered the stage. Something seemed off though, and when the camera closed up on them, Kurt and Sebastian's jaws dropped at the same time.
"Oh my god."
"What the hell!?"
Both Kurt and Sebastian just gaped in complete and utter shock as they saw the Warblers walk on stage... Every single one of them had shaved their heads!
Hunter took the center of the stage and spoke into his microphone. "Good evening everyone... My name is Hunter Clarington, and on behalf of The Dalton Academy Warblers I want to dedicate this performance to our friend Sebastian Smythe."
Kurt couldn't believe his eyes, this was shocking, heartwarming and awesome at the same time. He turned to see Sebastian and found him with his eyes glued to the TV screen, his face a mixture of surprise and confusion. He was covering his mouth with his hand, but Kurt could still tell he was smiling.
"I can't believe this... I can't believe they did this." Sebastian said, and Kurt just nodded, as he couldn't even form words.
On screen, the Warblers sang in perfect harmonies and danced with skilled coordination. Kurt couldn't believe how weird everyone looked with no hair... The shaved heads gave them a completely different look... They could even pass as a military school show choir, if it wasn't for the blazers.
They sang "We Own The Night" by The Wanted. The choreography was energetic and included quite a few acrobatics. Kurt was amazed and wondered just how many hours of rehearsals they invested to make it perfect.
When the song ended, the cheering and clapping from the audience could be heard. Kurt almost clapped himself... Except he could tell Sebastian was a little tense now, probably because the next song was the one he was supposed to sing with Jeff.
On screen, Jeff walked to the center of the stage. Kurt could see Sebastian biting his lip nervously as he watched Jeff closely.
"This next song is for our friend Sebastian, who couldn't be here tonight because he is in the hospital…"
Kurt felt his heart do a little jump when Jeff said that. This was not good, not good at all.
"Sebastian has leukemia, and needs a bone marrow transplant. Which is why we want to take this opportunity to encourage each and everyone of you to join the National Bone Marrow Registry." Jeff said, and then the cameras showed Dalton students going through the rows of seats in the auditorium, handing out pamphlets. It was only for a brief second though, because then the camera was on Jeff again as he said: "Sebastian Smythe, this song is for you."
Kurt thought that Sebastian was going to be angry about Jeff talking about him having cancer on National television, but when Kurt turned to look at Sebastian he was smiling. Sebastian had his eyes still fixed on the TV, and he was shaking his head, but there was a fondness in his eyes that told Kurt he wasn't angry at all. Especially since the song the Warblers were performing wasn't the duet Jeff and Sebastian were supposed to sing, but a different song altogether.
There's so many wars we fought
There's so many things we're not
But with what we have, I promise you that
We're marchin on
We're marchin on
We're marchin on
For all of the plans we've made
There isn't a flag I'd wave
Don't care if we bend, I'd sink us to swim
We're marching on
We're marching on
We're marching on
The Warblers delivered a heartfelt and flawless performance of the song as the audience sang along and clapped enthusiastically.
"I have no idea how they did this." Sebastian said. "I'd never seen this before... I have no idea how they pulled it off."
Kurt had seen the Warblers perform at Regionals, and he wasn't sure but some of the dance moves looked similar to the ones they'd used back then. He didn't say anything though, as it wasn't really important. The song was upbeat and emotional at the same time, and watching the guys sing and dance on stage, their smiles wide and their heads bald, singing for their friend... Singing for Sebastian... Just made Kurt's heart swell with emotion.
For all of the times we've stopped
For all of the things I'm not…
We put one foot in front of the other
We move like we ain't got no other
We go where we go
We're marchin on
Marchin on
When their performance ended, the Warblers gathered in the center of the staged and took a bow. The audience was manic, clapping, cheering and whistling. They even received a standing ovation.
As soon as The Warblers left the stage, the next group was called to perform, but Kurt couldn't even pay attention anymore. He was so excited about what had just happened.
"Did you know they were gonna do this?" Sebastian asked.
"No, I had no idea." Kurt quickly replied, and Sebastian laughed.
"They shaved their heads… I can't believe they shaved their heads. Especially Jeff... He's such a diva about his hair! He never lets anyone mess with it."
"I know... it's amazing."
"I'm calling Trent..." Sebastian said, still smiling like he couldn't believe what he'd just witnessed.
Trent didn't pick up, so Sebastian tried calling Hunter, but he didn't pick up either.
"They probably don't have their phones with them when they perform." Kurt said, and Sebastian nodded.
"Yeah, they usually leave them backstage… I'll try again later."
In that moment Mrs. Smythe arrived, holding iced coffees from Starbucks for them. Kurt had never been happier to see her, especially when she took out a bag of croissants.
They sat together watching the rest of the performances of the competition, drinking their delicious coffees, eating and making jokes all around. Sebastian told his mother about what The Warblers had done and she was excited and moved. Kurt was sure he had never seen Sebastian talk about something so excitedly.
Sebastian's bad mood from earlier had completely vanished after watching the Warblers perform, so Kurt was happy to have pushed him to watch in spite of Sebastian's initial refusal to do so.
While they were watching the other groups perform, Catherine called Sebastian, squealing excited about The Warblers' performance, since she was watching the broadcast as well. Kurt couldn't help but smile as he saw Sebastian talking with his sister. He looked relaxed and happy whenever he talked to her. Kurt really couldn't wait to meet her.
When the competition was finally over, and it was time to announce the winners. Mrs. Smythe, Sebastian and Kurt all held hands nervously in anticipation. Then, against all odds, The Warblers were announced as winners, and Sebastian almost jumped out of his bed, cheering!
There were lots of tears, smiles and hugs as the stage was filled with the blazer clad boys and their matching shaved heads. Mrs. Smythe was smiling and hugging Sebastian, and Kurt was too. It was such an exciting moment that just filled the room with joy and laughter. One of the nurses even came running into the room, asking them to please keep the noise down. The three of them apologized through muffled laughter, they didn't care though, The Warblers had won Nationals and it was a very exciting moment for everyone.
On screen, the Warblers were being interviewed by one of the presenters, a tall and attractive lady with blonde hair.
"Tell us Hunter, how does it feel to be the National Show Choir champions?"
"It's been amazing, we all worked hard to get here, so we're just very happy and honored for this opportunity. "
"I think we're all dying to know… What's up with the shaved heads? Is it because of your friend with cancer?"
"Sebastian Smythe... Yes, we did it for him, in solidarity."
"Whose idea was it, and was it hard to get everyone to do it?"
"Not at all, everyone was on board with it and-"
"Well... Goldilocks here needed some convincing at the very last minute, even though it was his idea!" Trent said, cutting Hunter off and pointing to Jeff, who just shook his head and blushed.
They all laughed at Trent's comment, and then Hunter took another moment to tell everyone about Sebastian's bone marrow transplant, asking everyone watching to join the National Bone Marrow Registry.
When the show finally ended, Mrs. Smythe had tears in her eyes, and so did Kurt. Even Sebastian looked emotional and happy as the guys finally returned his call and talked excitedly over the phone with him, telling him all the details of their exciting trip to LA, and winning Nationals.
At the end of the day, Kurt could tell Sebastian was feeling much better. He was still tired, and his appetite still hadn't improved much, as he hardly took a bite of his croissant, but at least Sebastian was feeling hopeful about the future, and because of that, so was Kurt.
AN: The song the Warblers dedicate to Sebastian is called "Marchin On" by One Republic. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and as always, reviews are greatly appreciated :)