8/1/17: Lola Loud
"Dear Journal
Lincoln always gets the best gifts! For my birthday all I got was a used doll that my mommy played with when she was a kid. All of her hair is gone, but she told me that that's what happens to little girls when they don't behave. They have their head completely shaven. I don't want that to happen to me.
I am here to share a secret with you. My brother Lincoln got in trouble for it but my mommy was in one of her moods. Which I mean, I can do anything in front of her and not get in trouble as long as Daddy's not around. She takes this strange pill when she gets really stressed and about an hour later it's like she's half dead. She's like a, what do you call those things? I think Lincoln calls them Zombies. He showed me what one of them looks like in his Ace Savvy Comic Book. Is mommy a zombie too? She's not gross and doesn't have green skin, but she acts just like one!
It's rare to have zombie mommy while daddy's away, but I had that opportunity for a few minutes at Dairyland when daddy caught Lincoln on a ride with another kid. I saw another little girl, just like me. Only she looked beautiful. She wore a beautiful pink dress, had long golden hair and most impressive of all, she couldn't stop smiling. She had all sorts of cute accessories attached to her as well. I've been happy before, but never this happy. She was with her mommy and older brother. I was so jealous and I had to learn who she was and why she was so happy.
I approached her while daddy was getting Lincoln and I asked her everything. She didn't want anything to do with me. She said I had ugly gross hair, too many missing teeth and the dirtiest dress she's ever seen. I wanted to know how she got to live this way, and she told me that her mommy says she's her little princess and gets treated like one. Before I had the chance to get more information from her, daddy was coming back so I had to return to the group.
Princess. I've never heard that word before… I needed to get answers without my parents knowing I talked to an "outsider". The next day, after daddy released Lincoln from his shackles, I said to daddy, "Daddy, what's a Princess?" and then daddy said "Where did you learn that word?". I couldn't tell him the truth, so I told him it was the name of a store we passed on the way back. Daddy shouted at me and called me a liar, making me cry.
He was right, I was a liar, but after what I learned about that other girl, I thought that maybe my parents are liars too. I talked to my older sister Lori. She's had experience interacting with other girls, way before most of us were even born. She said she had two friends back in a place called Texas. But one day, mommy and daddy just packed up everything, took Lori, Luna and Leni and drove far away. After that, they moved to where we live now, I think it's called Royal Woods.
Lori wasn't too impressed with how I described the girl. She claims that she was just like her when she was younger and so were the other girls. She assured me, that what I saw today, was "normal" and the life we're living right now is anything but normal. Now I've heard a lot of her stories and most of us just think she's just making it up, but from what I learned today, I finally believe Lori. There is an opportunity for a better life for us, but why wasn't daddy and Lori letting us live this normal life? What did we do wrong? Are we bad kids?
There's 11 of us, but we've separated into two groups. Lori's group and Luan's group. What separates us is that Lori's group doesn't like this current situation and is trying to find ways to a better life. Well, Lori was for a while, but a few months ago she just gave up. The only members of her group is Lisa and Lucy, but Lisa's the only one developing plans now. She almost got caught last time making up new plans, but Leni, for some reason claimed she made these plans. She's paying the price, but I've been sneaking some of my bread to her. I can't stand to see any of my sisters suffer that much, even if she made such a foolish decision.
Luan's group though is happy with our conditions and completely support our parents. Well I'm switching sides. Lisa needs my help and Lori needs to see that there's still a life out there for us that isn't, well, whatever this is! On the other side, there's Luan. She's always perky in even the darkest times and convinces us that we have a great life and that without our parents we'd all be lost. I've always believed her until now. I want to help the others, but I know if Luan finds out, she'll tell mommy and daddy and I'll be hand cuffed to my bed again. I'll have to make sure that this journal doesn't reach Luan.
I've given Lori a little bit of hope now that I'm siding with her. I'm going to share the journal with her, but I had to let her know not to let Luan find out about what I wrote. Otherwise, I'd be in a lot of trouble again!"