Tinker Bell in Storybrooke
A Disney Fairies / Once Upon A Time Crossover
Season 1, Episode 4, Chapter 2

STORYBROOKE, MAINE

Seconds later, Desiree was awake. In truth, it was all just an act, more or less. She really did swoon after the brief encounter with Ned, Dee just played it up for effect. Now she was sitting in the cool environs of the ice cream shop and was "recovering" nicely from her fainting spell.

"I heard what you said," Dee grumbled to Portia. "I'm not getting fat. You know how sensitive I am about my weight."

"You went limp, I couldn't hold you," Portia answered quietly.

"That's what happens when you're a ninety pound weakling," Desiree snapped under her breath. "Now go outside and break my car."

Portia was just about to get up when it occurred to her that Dee's request made absolutely no sense. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me, break my car. I want to spend some time with that…, that gorgeous hunk of manhood over there," Desiree answered, speaking about Ned.

~O~

Ned was at the counter talking with the bouncy, giggly girl behind the counter. She was a blonde with hair so bleached it almost hurt Desiree's eyes. Her name tag read "Tess." The other person behind the counter, a raven haired woman with a snarky attitude, Mike (short for Michelle), was watching with amusement as Ned got nowhere with the jiggling giggler.

"OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh," the skinny little blonde blathered. "Are you here to fix our air conditioner?"

"Yes, I am," Ned replied, smiling.

"EEEEEEEE! Did you hear that, Mikey?" she rambled to the dark haired woman. "He's here to the fix the air conditioner. Oh that's just so awesome, it hasn't worked right all week long."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard, Tess. Now stick it in neutral and let the guy do his job," the raven haired Mike said. She turned to Ned. "Come on, I'll show you to the air handler." She led him into the backroom.

"EEEEEEEEE! We're finally going to get our air conditioner working again."

~O~

"Do you think she's high?" Desiree asked her assistant, commenting on Tess, the giggly genki girl.

"Like she's been mainlining Red Bull and Crystal Meth all day long," Portia answered. "Now then, how do you propose I go about disabling your vehicle?"

"I don't know, pull out something important. Wires, spark plugs, little funny colored boxes."

"You mean fuses?"

"Whatever they are called, just start yanking!" Desiree snapped.

Portia shook her head in disgust and then face palmed. This was an even worse idea than breast enhancement surgery. Although not by much. Her employer did not own the car outright, she was just paying for the right to drive it around town for a couple of years.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"An asteroid to hit and put me out my misery."

"Don't backtalk to me, Missy, now get out there and disable my car."

Portia did as instructed, quietly slipping out of the shop and silently making her way to the expensive luxury vehicle. All the while she kept thinking to herself, dumbest…idea…ever! She opened the driver's side door of the Mercedes-Benz and looked underneath the steering column. Within the foot well for the driver she found a few small wires tucked away. She saw one of them was connected with a white plastic plug held together with molded clip. Portia reached underneath and separated the connection, leaving the plug just together enough to look like it wasn't undone.

She got up, dusted herself off and closed the door. Walking back inside, Portia noticed that Ned was walking out of the backroom. He was carrying a large box like object in his hand. It looked filthy, covered with layers of dust compressed against its middle.

"You just need a clean air filter," he told the dark haired girl. "I'll get one from the van and install it right away."

"You see! I told you we needed a filter," the genki girl jabbered. "But you don't ever listen to me. NeverNeverNeverNeverNeverNeverNev…"

"Okay, okay, I get the point," the dark haired girl answered. "Suddenly you're an expert on air conditioning units."

"Mean!"

"Yup, get used to it."

Portia sat down next to her employer. "I see their having a spat."

"Oh hush," she said, waiting for her hunk to walk back into the store. When Ned returned he came in with another of the same box like objects. Only this one was clean and the filter part was more obvious. He disappeared into the backroom again. "Okay, let's go," Dee whispered to her assistant.

"What? Go where?"

"To the car, where else." Desiree stood, acted a bit lightheaded to keep up the appearance of her fainting and then said, "Oh my, I think I'll be going home now. Drive me there, will you?"

Desiree then slowly walked out of the shop. She and Portia got into the Mercedes. Portia started up the car, but was yelled at by her employer.

"NO! Don't turn on the engine!" Desiree instructed.

"Huh?"

"Turn off the car, turn off the car!" she screeched.

Portia did as instructed, turning the key and killing the engine. "Okay, now what?"

"We wait for that gorgeous hunk of man meat to leave the shop."

"Have I ever thanked you for including me in your hunt for the perfect man?"

"No, but your welcome," Desiree cooed.

"Yeah, I wasn't actually thanking you," Portia said. "I just wanted to make sure I never had before."

~O~

Inside the shop, Ned was thanking Tess and Mike for being such loyal customers. He prepared an invoice for services rendered, but then stopped and asked if he could put some tri-fold flyers in their store. They agreed and Ned changed the total due to zero. "Well just call it even. When you're done with these I'll bring you more." He left handful of the flyers in their possession and walked out the door, waving goodbye.

~O~

"Quick, where did you break my expensive Mercedes?" Desiree asked.

"I loosened a plug under the steering wheel," Portia replied.

"Good, I'll try and maneuver him there. Here he comes!" Dee shouted. "Get out of the car," she added, banging on the driver's seatback. Portia tried to get out, but some idiot in the backseat kept kicking her chair. Finally, Desiree jumped out of the car and wailed, "Oh, whoa is me. Something is wrong with my car."

"Here, let me help," Ned answered. "I'll call a tow truck."

"NO! I mean, I'm sure you're more than qualified to fix whatever the problem is," she cooed, trying to sound as helpless as possible.

"Well, I'm not very handy with these foreign cars," he told her.

"Oh, a big, strong man like you. I'm sure you can fix anything."

Portia wanted to gag. That was the worst, most clichéd acting she had ever heard. Second graders putting on a school play were better than this. If this kept up much longer, she was going to quit and look for something that was more rewarding, like a porn star.

Oh great, then I'll be the one all those lonely guys will be staring at, she grumbled. If these are my only two options, then my life stinks.

"Pop the hood and I'll take a look," Ned instructed the redheaded tv star.

"Why, we have no idea how to do that," Desiree said with a sultry voice.

"It's right here," Portia said, pointing under the dash.

"WE DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS!" Desiree screamed at Portia. Then the redhead giggled and asked Portia to exit the vehicle so that nice man could look for the hood release.

"I can openYAAA!" Desiree yanked her assistant out of the vehicle. Portia rotated her arm several times and rubbed her shoulder to ease the pain of being unceremoniously jerked from the car.

"Thanks," he said to Dee. He turned to Portia with concern for the slim girl's health. "Are you okay?"

"Oh she's fine," Desiree said pouring on the southern charm. "Now about my car."

"Yeah, sure." Ned ducked into the driver's side door and looked around underneath the dash. He found the hood release handle and reached for it. He saw the loose plug and pushed it back together, making a good connection and tucking the wire back into it's compartment under the dash. He was about to slide back out when he noticed something under the seat.

Desiree watched with doe eyed fervor as the tall man stood up. "Look what I found," he said holding up something silver.

"My iPad!" Desiree squealed. "Oh where did you find it?"

"Under your seat," Ned told her.

"Oh, you are my hero," she gasped. "I've been looking for this all weekend long."

"I know, I read the article in the paper yesterday."

"Oh, that reminds me, I should call that nice Mr. Glass and inform him that my iPad is no longer missing. I'm sure he'll want to write a front page article about how my knight in shining armor saved my career." Desiree punctuated her statement by making goo-goo eyes at Ned. She handed off her phone to Portia and instructed her to make the call. Desiree then wrapped her arm around Ned's and asked him if he would like some ice cream. A reward for being such a charming and handsome hero.

~O~

"Mayor Mills," the voice of Sydney Glass came though the receiver with a bit of worry.

"Yes, Sydney, what is it?" Regina replied.

"I have bad news," he informed her. "Collingsworth found her iPad. It was under the seat of her car."

"Well, now that is bad news."

"Desiree wants me write an article detailing how she found the tablet," he said.

"Go ahead and write the article, Sydney. But keep it short and sweet. Then bury it. Put somewhere in the newspaper where no one will see it."

"Yes, Mayor Mills."

"Word has it that the Mrs. Kensington is losing customers left and right," Regina explained. "I wouldn't want to get in the way of her collapse."

"Of course, Regina," Sydney replied. "I'll bury that story. But what about Desiree? She has that television show. She'll mention it on air and the whole city will know."

"Leave that to me, Sydney," Regina told him. "I'll have her producers come up with some legal mumbo jumbo about why she can't say a word about it on television."

"You never fail to surprise me, Regina."

"No, Sydney, I never do."

Things were falling into place nicely for Regina. The iPad incident was a golden opportunity for her. Soon Clarion would be out of a job, out of her home and living on the streets. A fitting fall from grace for that fairy queen that kept Regina from reclaiming her life. With Clarion out of the way, she could now devote all her time to more pressing matters. First she had to permanently drive a wedge between her son Henry and Emma Swan, then Regina had to keep Mary Margaret Blanchard and David Nolan apart. As with Claire Kensington, Regina would look for her opportunity and then exploit it for all it was worth.

Note: The giggly "genki" girl (Tess) is Gliss, her dark haired friend (Mike, short for Michelle) is Spike. They run the ice cream parlor.

Thanks to I Luv Milarion 1201 for suggesting the Storybrooke names for Spike and Gliss.

I hope everyone likes this chapter. Please leave a review. Thanks.