Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

A/N: There are a lot of scene breaks in this chapter, I hope this isn't too distracting. I wanted to comment on Seph being OOC. Yes he is, but there is a reason. He has woken up, not remembering what happened, Hojo has him drugged and confined, Zack and Cloud are yelling at him, obviously angry with him, and he is feeling Cloud's feelings too so he is very disoriented. Until he is able to process the information and the new feelings that aren't his, he will be a little OOC. Every so often, throughout the story, he will have moments of OOCness because of that as well.

Thanks to my after-post beta SubZeroChimera and my before-post beta Queen of Jokers!
Updated as per my after-post beta suggestions.

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." -Andre Gide

Nexus

Chapter 11

Bonnie Hamilton enjoyed being a laboratory assistant. However, the last couple of years were what gave her nightmares nightly. She was a very meek sort of person; she did her job and said very little. Hojo scared her though and she wondered what terrible things he would want her to do next. If she could have, she would have left after the first time she had to hurt one of those men that Hojo kept captive. Unfortunately she had nothing to go back to and Shinra held her contract with an iron fist.

Walking into his office she held her head low. A shiver of fear crept through her.

Hojo sat at his desk looking over his many notes and books scattered over the surface of his desk. Picking up the phone and dialing her extension he said, "Miss Hamilton, come to my laboratory office immediately." As he hung up the phone he placed his finger against his lips, he looked at the notes that were vital to the project's success. The newest project was his idea and he wasn't going to let anything stop him. One sheet of paper held his attention more than the rest. Getting the cooperation he needed was imperative.

She knocked on the door and he called her in. Holding his hand out, he gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk, "Please sit." He shuffled a few papers and straightened them as he spoke, "Miss Hamilton, I am going to give you the opportunity of a lifetime," he said with a fake smile. He leaned forward on his elbows, "I would like for you to take part in the new project that I am conducting. Now you might be hesitant about this, but you will thank me later."

She wrung her hands in her lap nervously, "Well, sir, I don't know… I mean, what would I have to do?" Her voice was almost too low to hear.

"There will be only one thing that I really need from you," He put his hand in one of his pockets and got up and walked around the desk. He walked around behind her, "Your full, total, and complete cooperation." He lunged and wrapped his arm around her from behind as he drove a syringe into her neck and pushed the plunger and backed away quickly.

Standing and knocking the chair backwards, she grabbed her neck, eyes widened and she cried out in surprise. She stumbled back across the floor toward the door. Her eyes started to dull and her legs began shaking. Staggering around, she reached out to a book shelf as she started to fall, she pulled some loose papers and a book to the floor with her.

Hojo was there just in time and he just caught her head before she hit the file cabinet, "Easy there, we don't want you damaged; I need you in perfect physical health." Watching her eyes finally close, he squatted down to her and straightened her arms and legs out. Getting back up, he pulled out the paper that had held his interest earlier, "Hmm, 5 ft. 4 inches, 102 pounds; she is a little small but young and very healthy. I can make her smaller size work I suppose," he said to himself as he tapped his finger on his lips. He scribbled a few things on to the page and put it back down on the desk.

Zack was half sitting on his bed when the door finally opened and they brought Cloud in. He was completely limp, head hung down, sobbing and moaning. His sweaty hair, stuck to the sides of his face and the back of his neck. Zack stood up and waited for when they put him down. He was in a strangely uncomfortable position. They started to move him around the bed and Zack pushed them back, "Get the hell away from him! Just leave us alone!" With anger in his eyes, he clenched his fists and stood his ground until Harper and Drake left. Zack noticed the sorrow in Drake's eyes and it just made him angrier.

Zack turned his attention back to Cloud. Bending over, the older boy surveyed the younger one first. Cloud's eyes remained closed and he continued to softly moan in pain with every breath he took. Zack bent down to his face and whispered, "Spiky." Cloud slowly opened his eyes and looked at his brunette friend. The look in the blonde's eyes pleaded with him to do something, anything would be better than this. It broke Zack's heart that he couldn't do anything to ease the pain.

He knew it hurt worse than anything else when they got double injections and he sadly thanked Gaia that he hadn't had to have double injections. Any and all movement caused an over-abundance of pain to wash over every cell. Zack worked to maintain a calm tone, "I am going to put your legs up on the bed. I'll be as gentle as I can, but I'm going to do it fast. Okay buddy?" Cloud blinked his eyes slowly and a tear fell over his nose, on to the bed. "Okay, here goes," In one quick move, Zack picked his legs up and swung them over on to the bed. A weak cry sounded from Cloud and he closed his eyes and a faint moan passed his lips.

Zack sat on the floor next to him leaning against the side of the bed. Pulling his knees up, he rested his elbows on them as he ran his fingers through his hair his thoughts became guilt ridden. 'Some friend I am, I can't do anything for him and he's suffering, because of me.' The sound of Cloud's soft sobs seemed to reverberate through Zack's body and he fought his own tears. He spoke softly to keep Cloud's pain to a minimum, "I swear Spiky, I'm going to make this right, I promise." The last two words nearly choked him up. Eventually Cloud quieted and closed his eyes, Zack hoped he was asleep. He stayed on the floor next to the bed.

Much later, the door opened and Zack didn't recognize the man. The man stood there staring and not really knowing what to say. Zack stood up and asked, "Who are you?" He was so tired. Tired of fighting and he just couldn't deal with it right then. The guilt of Cloud being in pain made him just want to stop. He just felt like giving up, "What do you want?"

"Uh, hello, I'm the new doctor here to help Doctor Chase. I came to check specimen C," The man was clearly confused, "Maybe I have the wrong room."

Zack stepped to the side and motioned with his hand, "You want specimen C? There he is." Zack's tone was sorrowful and weary.

The doctor took a step back and almost bumped into Davis. He shook his head, "I was under the impression that I would be working with specimens in an irreversible comatose state."

In a tone that was as non-emotional as he had ever sounded, he said, "Nope, you got us. Welcome to our hell." Zack sat back down on the floor and leaned against Cloud's bed.

The man crouched down, "My name is Noah Medlock. What is your name?"

Zack didn't look up, "Specimen Z."

"No, your real name… Please," Noah made a point to make eye contact with Zack. He sat unbelieving, "Please."

Zack blinked and stared at the man, "… Zack. This is my best friend, Cloud."

He pushed out his hand as if to shake hands with him, "I am glad to meet you-"

Davis interrupted, "Doctor, I need to get you back to the infirmary." Noah looked at Davis and then back at Zack. He put his hand gently on his shoulder and stood. He left without another word. Zack put his hands on the back of his head and put his forehead on his knees. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Waking up, he lifted his head slowly; he was lying on the floor next to the cold metal table in the lab. As he stood, the woman appeared. Those eyes, blazing green, full of love, pain, hate and anger. She mesmerized him and willed him to her. Her long silver hair flowed around her body as if carried by a light wind, "Cloud, come to me." He started walking hesitantly toward her. Something caught his eye and broke him out of his trance. Zack was in his tank and it was full of water, pounding on the glass, trying to break it, trying to get out; his eyes wild with panic. His friend looked like he was trying to yell something, bubbles floated from between his lips, up to the top of the tank. Cloud studied Zack for a moment…

Suddenly she was standing in front of him blocking his view of Zack, "Cloud, you can leave all that behind, he could never love you as much as I do." He was close enough that she gently took his hand into hers. He eventually stopped trying to see Zack and returned his eyes to her. Raising his hand to touch her face, he stopped himself just before his fingers brushed her skin. He lowered his hand back down to his side.

Quietly he asked, "What is it that you want from me?" She dropped his hand gently.

Her eyes fixed on to him, "It is very simple. Tell me that you want me Cloud."

Shaking his head, "I don't know what it would mean if I did." He turned away from her.

She moved in front of him again and took his hands into hers, "It means no more pain, no more suffering, and no more being unwanted and unloved." She narrowed her eyes and squeezed his hands very gently.

He repeated almost robotically, "No more pain or suffering and someone will want me?" He reached up and touched her face gently, his fingers slowly tracing down her neck, studying her the whole time. His eyes flinched and he turned away from her again, "No. I don't need you to love me."

A bright flash of light appeared suddenly, and he looked up. He was in Zack's apartment. He heard a noise coming from the bedroom. Walking cautiously, he leaned close to the door. "Cloud…" A familiar voice said. He held his hand on the door knob for a moment, not sure he wanted to open it.

Finally, he opened the door slowly and Tifa was standing in the middle of the room, unclothed. Her dark brown eyes bore into his soul. His heart ached for her. Long, deep brown hair cascaded over her shoulders. The smell of her filled his senses so he closed his eyes and reveled in her scent. She smelled like springtime, he always loved the way her essence captivated him, "You still want me don't you? Tell me you want me. Please Cloud."

He opened his eyes again and she stood in place, her pleading eyes called to him. Stepping forward, he gently pulled her to him and he kissed her with the passion he had always had for her. She kissed him back and pulled his shirt off quickly. A feeling of urgency came over him took a step forward and pushed toward her, laying her down on the bed right behind her. He finished disrobing and went to her neck and her lips and needed her right at that moment, breathlessly he said, "I want you."

Cloud blinked his eyes and it was not Tifa anymore, it was the woman in the red dress. Her hair and dress wrapped around him and held him to her. While struggling to free himself, a soft voice from behind him spoke in his ear, "You belong to me now." Her hair wrapped tighter around him, "Now and forever." He arched his back and screamed at the pain coming from his back. Her hair morphed into tentacles and enveloped him; his whole body began to burn.

"Please stop!" He pleaded as he watched the tentacles rip into his skin, swimming and bathing in his blood. He threw his head back, and let out a long tortured scream.

Still leaning against the side of Cloud's bed, an ear-piercing scream woke Zack from a restless sleep. Jumping up, he whipped around to see what was happening. To his horror, Cloud was on his back, arms flat on the bed, his entire body was in a complete arch, his face twisted in pain. Zack snapped out of his shock when the scream suddenly stopped and the blonde's eyes snapped open.

'Oh geez,' Zack thought. Cloud's eyes... they weren't blue anymore but deep green and the pupils weren't round anymore. The blonde's scream was soon replaced with a deep gurgling sound, he tried ripping at his throat with his dulled fingernails. "Spike! Snap out of it! Wake up!" Zack pleaded. That's when the violent convulsions started. He fell from of the bed and took Zack with him to the floor. Still convulsing, Zack sat on the floor and watched over him. Once the convulsions stopped he wrapped his arms around his friend who was too still and too quiet now, "I'm so sorry, please stop this…Please…"

Sephiroth sat quietly on the edge of his bed while he tried to get a grasp of what was going on. Standing up he started pacing back and forth, thoughts coiling in his mind. Killing innocent people? Burning down a town? If that did happen and he was responsible, why could he not remember it?

The former General wondered to himself out loud, "Hojo never touched me, yet I felt pain as he hurt that boy."

He was starting to get a headache as he tried harder to remember, "Trying to figure this out is extremely, tiresome… what… is happening? My head… Ahh-" A buzzing sound started in his head and as it increased in volume, he fell to his knees. The noise turned into a loud screech that reverberated in his skull like a rampant virus, he couldn't get away from it. His powerful hands clutched the sides of his head and a scream of fearful pain erupted from deep within his throat.

When his scream slowly subsided, Sephiroth found himself lying on the floor with his fingers hooked in his long silver hair, his eyes snapped open when he whispered, "Jenova…"

Hojo's laboratory office was a large room that he doubled as his private and secret lab that he decided to call lab 4. One side had his desk and books and file cabinets, the regular look of any other office. He had picked out the area rug and the swirls of green color reminded him of mako, the source and passion of his work.

On the other side, a cold steel table like the ones in the other labs sat awaiting its next victim. The fluorescent lights seemed a little brighter in here. Very often when he would come in here, he would have to take something for a rising headache.

Having gotten Bonnie on to the table and starting an IV, he was going to have to put her in a drug induced coma because he figured from her first reaction that she would be as reluctant to participate as his other three specimens seemed. There were other materials he would need to gather and for that he was going to need specimens Z, C, and S.

He cut her clothes from her and then covered her with a sheet and set out to take care of some other things first. He needed one of the assistants to help him and he needed to choose wisely.

The next day, Zack woke up on the floor and was still holding the limp blond. Cloud's eyes were slightly open and Zack saw that they were their normal deep blue again. Cloud's skin was freezing to the touch and he shivered slightly.

Releasing his hold on the smaller boy, Zack stood up, stretched his back and pulled Cloud back on his bed. Grabbing the blankets from the floor, he covered Cloud up and climbed under the blankets, curling up to Cloud's back and wrapped an arm around him hoping to warm him back up.

"You know buddy, you kind of scared me last night. I know you like to joke around from time to time," Zack stopped talking and looked over Cloud's shoulder at the side of his face, "I didn't think that was funny though. If fact, I'm going to ask you not to do that anymore."

Zack let out a sigh and laid his head back down, "I mean hell; you even elbowed me in the chin and my stomach a couple of times. You got sharp elbows." Zack squeezed Cloud with his arm in a type of hug, "That's alright though; I'll get you back, as soon as we get out of here." Relaxing into his spot, he nuzzled his face to the back of Cloud's neck, "You are freezing man, I mean really. I'll get ya warmed back up in no time. You don't worry about a thing, okay."

For three days, Cloud stayed like that. He would open his eyes, but wouldn't focus on anything. He was always so cold and his body didn't seem to ever warm up.

Zack was taken to the gym, and they had him on the leg machine doing his reps, forced to increase the reps to 150 instead of his usual 50.

When the door opened, Davis walked in with Sephiroth. Stopping hos reps, Zack just stared, waiting for his mind to catch up to what he saw. Finally able to process the scene, he instantly traversed the gym and was in Sephiroth's face, the former General didn't flinch. The brunette grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. Davis tried to get a hold of Zack but he pushed Davis back; averting his eyes, Sephiroth kept his hands at his sides.

"Fight back you bastard!" Zack screamed at him. Slamming him against the wall two more times, still Sephiroth did nothing. Zack threw a punch and hit him in the jaw with his left and then threw another with his right. The former General grabbed the younger man's fist and spit out a mouth full of blood, letting it splat to the floor.

Zack pulled his fist back from the older man's tightening fingers and took him by the front of his shirt and slammed him back up against the wall. Sephiroth simply pushed him away. Out of breath, Zack asked, "Why won't you fight me?!"

Sephiroth looked down at the floor and said solemnly, "Because I remember what happened."

After the incident in the gym, and being brought back to his cell, Zack noticed that Cloud still lay in the same position that he was left in; only now, his eyes were open, "Hey Buddy, I'm gonna take a shower real quick, you stay right there." While trying to sound upbeat he was unable to hide frustration in his voice.

After he got out he sat him upright and nestled him in the crook of his arm near his chest. Cloud was still freezing. "Hey buddy, ya gotta snap out of this soon. I get all lonely in the gym without ya," He brushed some of the blond spikes from his face. "Well I wasn't alone today, but we can talk about that later." Zack leaned against the wall and drifted to sleep.

Sometime later, he felt something touch his face. He opened his eyes, and Cloud was sitting up and looking at him, "Hey Spiky! Your awake, man I was re-" the former Soldier stopped when he realized that Cloud didn't seem to recognize him. The blond touched Zack's face softly again, then his own. His eyes were his normal deep blue but Cloud acted a bit different.

Zack studied his face and he seemed like someone else, in the shell of his friend. Cloud stood up and the blankets dropped to the floor. He stood in one spot for a moment and then turned back to the brunette. Reaching down, he grabbed one of Zack's hand and pulled him up to standing. He put his hands on both sides of Zack's arms and looked at his face deeply, studying it, "What are you doing? What is the matter?"

Without removing his hands he smiled a small creepy smile, "Shhh."

"Okay…your kind of freakin me out buddy."

Cloud dropped his hands and raised himself up, very close to Zack's face, "I SAID SHHHH!" Zack jumped at the volume of his voice. Cloud took a step back and studied him a little longer, then tilted his head a little to the side. Deepening his stare he asked, "You're Zack aren't you?" Zack nodded slowly, "So you're the one…"

"Umm, I guess so. What are you talk-" Cloud put his hand over Zack's mouth and peered into his eyes.

Backing Zack to the wall, he moved closer to Zack's face with his hand still on Zack's mouth, "You're the one he doesn't want me to hurt." Cloud said calmly, eyes darting back and forth between Zack's, trying to decipher what the brunette's secrets were, but soon he gave up and backed away. Turning around, the blond scrutinized the cell, he walked over to the door, reached out and felt of it like he hadn't seen one before, then he studied the door knob and the window.

Zack asked very cautiously, "You know me, can I ask who you are?"

Cloud turned around slowly and to Zack's surprise, his eyes were bright fiery green. A smile slowly crept across his hips, "I'll show you..."

Closing the distance between them, Cloud moved his face toward Zack's. He could feel the small breaths coming from his fair-haired friend on his cheek. He had stopped, frozen in place. Suddenly Cloud squeezed his eyes shut and he backed away as if in pain. He was holding the sides of his head and grunting. "No! I won't… let you hurt him!" Falling to the floor, a scream escaped and his body tensed and then relaxed, motionless.

Zack watched not knowing what to do. He sat down next to him, "Oh Spike, what has Hojo done to you?"

Several minutes later, Cloud turned his head and looked at him, "Z-Zack?"

Zack jumped to action, "Yeah, it's me!"

"Is it really you?" Cloud asked quietly.

Zack let a hesitant smile cross his lips, "Yeah buddy….it's me." Cloud sat up, rubbed his head, got off the floor and sat down on the bed, "You wanna tell me what on Gaia just happened?" Cloud looked at him and then looked away quickly. Zack's voice rose, "You scare the hell out of me a couple of nights ago, you do absolutely nothing for three days and then this. Why won't you tell me what is going on Cloud?" He didn't know what else to do or what to say. He reached out to him and said softly, "I'm worried about you."

Cloud just stared at the floor, "I can't…"

Zack sat down next to Cloud, "Whatever man, I'm just glad to have you back. You know that right?" Cloud leaned his head over on to Zack's shoulder. Hesitantly, Zack reached across his chest to Cloud's head and gave the back of his neck a reassuring squeeze.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."

Please send me your reviews if you want. It is really easy. Just click your arrow in the little box, write what you thought or felt about the chapter and then click right down there, just below the box. A little lower… a little to the right… yeah, right there! Click it! *grinning*