8/2/17: Lori Loud

"Yesterday convinced me that there's still some hope out there for all of us. My little sister Lola started believing me about how life used to be. Only Lucy and Lisa would believe me, the others were convinced by our parents that their current lives is the normal way to live life. Mom and Dad pretend that my earlier years never happened, that my memories are skewed because I was only 3 years old with my earliest memories.

What did my life use to be like? We didn't always live in Royal Woods, we used to live in Fort Worth, a city in Texas. The earliest memories I have was my 3rd birthday party back in 2003. Mom and Dad threw a great party and my baby sisters Leni and Luna joined me. Mom was pregnant with Luan and we were excited to have another baby sister. We were like the families you saw on TV. Loving, carefree and always helping each other through our problems.

Shortly after my birthday, my mom sent me to preschool. I remember her being clingy, crying that she wouldn't be able to see me for a couple of hours. I made a couple of friends, but the one that stands out was a boy called Bobby. I think I spent most of my time with him. My other friends thought it was weird I was spending so much time with a boy, but I didn't care. We played all sorts of games, like Hide & Seek. I found the perfect hiding spot that Bobby could never find: Behind the curtains in front of the window. I continued to go to preschool for a couple of months, but things gradually began to change.

My mom continued to drop me off in this large van, but it became more and more difficult to interact with her as time went on. She fell asleep a couple of times while driving. I did everything I could to keep her awake, but one time we got into an accident. I was in the back seat and I got a broken leg. I was crying for help from mom, but she drove fast in the other direction ignoring my requests. I was taken back to our house instead of a hospital.

Dad asked why she came home so early as she had other errands to do, but saw the van completely totaled. Dad panicked, tried turning it on, but it was no use, it looks like the car was done for. I should also mention Dad's behavior. He became more aggressive as the days went on. I remember my first day from preschool bringing him a crayon drawing of a flower I made and he told me I did a great job with it. But as the days went by, he became more and more aggressive, and it got to the point where I was afraid to be in the same room as him or even say "Hi Daddy". He beat me several times with his belt, over any mistake I'd make, like accidently spilling a drop of juice on the floor. These were no longer my parents, but replaced with look-alikes.

The next day, Dad suddenly had a new car and demanded that we don't ask where he got it from. He told mom and my sisters that we were moving out and only had 10 minutes to "Gather all of our shit". I couldn't get much because of my broken leg that was still unattained to. My entire life was taken away from me that day. I never saw Bobby or my friends ever again. I asked where Dad was taken us, and he just said "North". During the trip somewhere in Oklahoma, mom began talking again, saying how sick she was and that she needed to go to the hospital.

Mom was groaning in pain, with dad telling her to "Shut up bitch". By the time we reached Kansas, we found out that she was delivering 2 months early. While delivering, dad still refused to stop for help. By the time the delivery was over, mom held her new daughter, Luan in her arms and with what little energy she had, "promised to never let her out of her sight". Eventually, we ended up in a town called Royal Woods in Michigan and found a house with a large attic holding 6 bedrooms. We've lived up there ever since, and their raising methods became more questionable year after year.

There's so many things that don't make sense to me and I would like some answers. I've spent years pondering over what happened while everything could be explained if my parents would spend 10 seconds telling me the truth. Leni and Luna were too young to remember and everyone else was born after the move. And so many of my sisters think I'm the liar while I'm here practically raising Lily.

Lily's the youngest, only one year old and my parents keep forgetting that she exists. I always give her parts of my meals, clean up her messes and try to calm her down. At least mom would sometimes breastfeed Lisa, Lola and Lana when they were that age, but Lily get nothing. I'm worried about her health and I don't know if she's going to make it through this. That's why Lisa, Lucy, Lola and I need to figure out a way to get out of here, so all 11 of us can have a better life. It won't be exactly how it was because the parents that raised me for the first three years are gone forever, but at least we wouldn't be raised by these monsters."