WARNING: Some serious Dumbledore bashing in this chapter. But he rather had it coming here, you have to admit.

…

In one split second, the old wizard raised his wand and yelled, "Obliviate!"

Sirius forced Harry's head down—and not a moment too soon. The jet of light from the spell passed through right where Harry's forehead had been a moment before; it hit a bronze school statue behind them with a hollow bong. Sirius pulled out his own wand.

"What the hell was that?!" he barked.

"You and James never paid much attention to the rules, did you?" said Dumbledore calmly, lowering Sirius's wand tip with his own. "Harry wasn't supposed to find out the truth until he turned eleven—and now you are going to try to claim custody?"

"Not try," growled Sirius, and Harry was reminded of his dog Patronus. "Custody is mine."

"Harry has to stay with his aunt and uncle until he turns seventeen," Dumbledore told him. "I have my reasons."

"Who the hell are you to decide?!" Sirius snapped back. "Lily, James and Harry have the right to decide where Harry goes! Nobody else!"

"I repeat," said Dumbledore, his voice just a little quieter, his face calm, but Harry saw a fire burning in those blue eyes now. "Harry has to live with the Muggles until he is seventeen. Dumbledore's orders."

"Yeah, well, I'm done!" Sirius shouted. "Just because you give me an 'order' doesn't mean I have to follow it! I'm not a house-elf! Some people say you're the most powerful wizard of our times, and maybe you are, but with all due respect, I think you've let it go to your head!"

"Sirius," said Dumbledore in almost a whisper, raising his wand, "get out of the way."

"Because of your foolishness, Harry was abused!" Sirius's voice was so venomous that Harry saw Dumbledore flinch. "You're lucky I don't run you in for criminal negligence! Did you know, Professor, that it's a crime to know about abuse and not report it?"

"Sirius, Voldemort may be powerless and weak, but many Death Eaters are still at large," said Dumbledore. "I thought perhaps if I cut him off from our world, he would be safest from Voldemort's followers, the ones who managed to get out of prison and were out looking for him. I thought that would be safest."

"Well, you still should have consulted me!" Sirius cried, placing one hand protectively on Harry's shoulder. "And you were wrong, anyway! Death Eaters might not have showed up at the door, but he was still treated horribly! He wasn't fed right, he wasn't loved...It wouldn't have hurt at all for him to know about our world, either! That would be better than dumping it all on him at once when he turns eleven! It would have been better for him to grow up with it…otherwise it's such a shock…especially the part about being famous for something he doesn't even remember!"

"Um, could I say something?" said Harry, timidly raising his hand.

"Certainly," said Sirius, glaring at Dumbledore.

"I want to live with Sirius," Harry told Dumbledore. "I know about Voldemort and his followers, and I think Sirius can protect me. My parents wanted Sirius to look after me."

"You can take this to court if you want, Dumbledore," said Sirius, rather nastily, "but it won't help. You can't argue with legality. Why would the judge listen to what you have to say, when I have the will?"

"Nevertheless…I would like to accompany you to your meeting with Mr. Glacier," said Dumbledore. "I shall Apparate there; you and Harry can fly."

…

Mr. Glacier's office was in London, in a huge office building. Harry liked Diagon Alley better than the Muggle buildings, which now seemed very cold and impersonal in comparison. The flying had soothed his jangled nerves somewhat, and Sirius (using the Invisibility Booster, of course), flew all the way up to the highest story of Mr. Glacier's building, then down again, very quickly. They landed on the pavement, parked the motorcycle, turned off the Invisibility Booster and walked into the reception area of Bunsen and Barnes, LLC. Dumbledore was sitting in the waiting area.

"Dumbledore got here quicker, because he Apparated," Sirius explained quietly.

"What's that?"

"Moving from one place to another instantly."

"Oh…Muggles call that teleporting."

Sirius approached the reception desk, where a pretty young woman in a red skirtsuit, perhaps in her mid-twenties, was sitting at a computer. Her nametag said "Barbara".

"So you must be Barbara," said Sirius, leaning on the desk. Harry noticed his voice sounded a little deeper than usual. "We spoke on the telephone."

"Did we?" said Barbara. Her eyes were a pleasant shade of hazel, and her hair was dark-brown. It was wavy and went halfway down her back, spilling over her shoulders in slight curls.

"We did, last Monday, I believe," said Sirius. "Might I say, you have the most beautiful eyes. Very unique."

"Oh…thanks," said Barbara, her fair skin turning slightly pink. "They're the same as my dad's. My grandfather's, too. I like your motorcycle jacket. Motorcycles are so cool; I've always wanted to ride on one."

"That could be arranged," Sirius replied, tossing his long black hair out of his eyes (although Harry thought it wasn't just to get it out of his eyes). "Are you free this Saturday night?"

Harry remembered what Sirius had said about countless girls riding on his motorcycle.

"I think I can squeeze you in," said Barbara, winking. She printed a piece of receipt tape and scribbled down her address, then handed it to Sirius. "Will eight do?"

"Eight would be wonderful," said Sirius, sticking Barbara's address in his pocket. "I'll swing by your place."

"And who is this?" Barbara asked kindly, smiling at Harry.

"This is my godson, Harry Potter," said Sirius.

Harry waved to Barbara, because he wanted to be polite, but he really just wanted to get up to Mr. Glacier's office and meet him. Surely Sirius could find another time to hit on Mr. Glacier's secretary. Harry may only have been almost eleven, but he had seen enough cable TV, peered at discreetly over his relatives' shoulders, to recognize flirting when he saw it.

"I assume you two have an appointment with Mr. Glacier, then?" said Barbara.

"Yes, at noon," said Sirius. "Also, the old man with the long beard is going to be going with us."

Barbara nodded. "Quite an unusual fashion style."

There were still ten minutes until noon, so Sirius and Harry went to sit near Dumbledore in the reception area. Sirius sighed blissfully.

"Blimey, I missed that in prison," he told Harry longingly.

"You missed what?" said Harry, confused.

"Women, of course," said Sirius as they sat down. "What would this world be without them? Well…you'll understand someday…"

Harry certainly didn't understand now, but Dumbledore seemed to.

"Some things never change," said the old wizard, looking exasperated. "I see you still flirt with anything that moves, Sirius."

"Well, she's hot," said Sirius, watching Barbara.

Harry wondered if there would be a lot of young women coming to visit the flat when he lived with Sirius. Hopefully not.

…

Mr. Glacier wasn't quite as young as his secretary; in fact, he was probably old enough to be her grandfather. He was bald on top, although he had some bright white hair on either side of his head. He had a rather oversized nose, and he wore glasses and a pinstriped black suit.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Potter," he said, reaching out to shake Harry's hand.

"Yes," said Harry. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Glacier."

"So polite," said Mr. Glacier. "Now, which one of you two is Mr. Black?"

"I am," said Sirius, handing the will to Mr. Glacier; the lawyer opened it and flipped to Article 2. "This is Albus Dumbledore. His name was third on the list of suggestions in James's will. But he thinks Harry should remain with his aunt and uncle."

"Come now, Mr. Dumbledore," said Mr. Glacier. "We can't let that happen. They're abusive."

"It's been nearly ten years and Harry is still alive," said Dumbledore. "And please, Mr. Glacier, call me Albus."

"Sure, Harry might still be alive, but that doesn't mean he isn't suffering," said Sirius.

"Mr. Black is right," agreed Mr. Glacier. "Every child deserves a loving and stable home."

Harry was used to adults talking about him like he wasn't there, so he didn't say anything; he just watched them discuss the case.

"I can give Harry that home," said Sirius.

"Besides, Mr. Black has the will," Mr. Glacier added. "The judge will most likely give Harry to Sirius, seeing as his aunt and uncle aren't even on the list of recommendations. I noticed James had three suggestions."

"The second one is my favorite cousin," Sirius explained. "James knew her, too. I suppose he thought that if I couldn't take care of Harry, Andromeda would be good as well. She had her own small daughter, too, Nymphadora."

"I'm surprised that James entrusted you with his child, Albus, if you are willing to send Harry to his abusive relatives," said Mr. Glacier rather icily.

"Who knows what he was thinking?" said Sirius. "Maybe he was worried that neither I nor Andromeda would be able to take care of Harry, and he wanted to add a third person, just so Harry wouldn't have to end up with the Dursleys."

"I know you were also planning on filing suit, Mr. Potter," Mr. Glacier continued. "Like I said, the law prohibits you from this until your aunt and uncle have lost custody of you. So for now, we should focus on the custody case for now and sue for damages later. However, you might be able to receive a large settlement. 'Eggshell clients', we call them—Plaintiffs who are children, pregnant women, elderly, disabled, you know—are more likely to recover."

"Maybe Uncle Vernon will have to sell Grunnings." Harry grinned.

"Grunnings?" Sirius looked confused.

"That's his company," Harry explained. "They make drills. I know because he always complains about work."

"Either way, the law is on our side," said Mr. Glacier. "You know, since we have the will. We just need to make sure there's nothing that could make the judge think otherwise."

"Should we also see if we can set up a court date?" asked Sirius.

"I will look into that," said Mr. Glacier. "Have you anything more to say…Albus?"

"We shall see each other again, Harry," said Dumbledore, and he left Mr. Glacier's office. Harry heard a loud crack from outside; he didn't know it at the time, but that was the sound of Dumbledore Disapparating. Meanwhile, Mr. Glacier, Sirius and Harry put their heads together, making sure their case would be rock-solid.