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Chapter 18 for you!

Chapter 18.

Zoe.

The next day I woke up late. It was around 10am and Ash wasn't next to me. I had a quick shower, got dressed into a short red dress, dried and straightened my hair and did my make up before I went downstairs ready for work. I had forgotten my parents were here and what had happened yesterday. As I went into the kitchen and saw Ash cooking bacon and egg sandwiches, my parents sitting at the table reading the newspaper and Jess doing some colouring on the floor I remembered everything… no work, Lou dead, parents over, Jess.

I walked over to where Ash was and kissed him good morning, helping him with the bacon and egg sandwiches I tried not to cry. Throughout the time we were eating the only one to talk was Jess. She was talking about school and all her friends. She sounded like she wanted to go back.

School wasn't due to start for five more days. I was dreading having to phone the school and sort out everything for Jess. I was also dreading telling Jess what had happened. I had decided to do that today.

After breakfast I mentioned it to my mother and when she agreed to me telling her I got Ash to bring Jess into the playroom.

"Hi Zoe!" she said as Ash carried her in.

"Hi Jess. I need to tell you something." I started motioning for Ash to stay.

"Yes." She replied and started to play with her dolls house.

"Can you come and sit with Ash and I please baby." I said patting the sofa between where Ash and I were perched.

She launched herself there and looked at me expectantly. Her eyes reminded me so much of Lou.

"This may be a bit sad Jess, but its ok to cry. I have cried lots. Grandma and grandpa have cried lots too."

"What about Ash. Has he cried?"

"Yes Jess I have." Ash said, the sadness present in his voice as well. He and Lou had got to know each other well since I had started dating him.

"Jess, sweetheart. Mummy has gone to live with the angels." I said hugging her tightly. My attempt at holding back the tears failing.

"Can we go and visit her?" she asked.

"No baby. Mummy has gone. We can't go and see her but she can see us." I said wiping away the tears from my eyes.

Jess didn't reply. She just buried her head in my chest and hugged me back. Then she pulled Ash in and we sat there me sobbing, Ash's eyes watering and Jess in between us holding us together.

For the rest of that day Ash played with Jess whilst I helped my parents' sort out the funeral arrangements. It was a hard day and lots of tears were involved. I was given the hardest task of calling all our family members to let them know what had happened. The worst phone call was to my cousin who knew Lou very well, as they had gone to the same school when they were younger. I sometimes wondered if Jamie had known Lou better than me, he was the one who she would go to if she was in trouble, the one who knew all her secrets. He was devastated at the news of her death and offered his help in anyway possible.

At around 5 the house phone rang and Ash answered it.

"Hello. Who is it?" he said into the receiver, "Zoe, here she is." And he passed the phone to me, covering the speaker he said, "its CPS."

I took the phone from his grasp and left the room taking him with me. When we got to the deserted study I put the phone on speaker so he could hear what was being said.

"Hi, Zoe speaking."

"Hi Zoe its Mr. Philips from Holby CPS. I was wanting to talk to you about Louisa Hanna's daughter Jessica Phoebe Kings." He said, I recognised his kind and trusting voice from the day before.

"Hanna." I corrected.

"Sorry, Jessica Phoebe Hanna, can we talk?"

"Of course. I have you on speaker and my partner is the only one who can here this." I said.

"Right. I wanted you to know that we found Peter Kings this morning."

"Where?" I asked a shiver going down my spine.

"He was found during a drugs raid on a friends house. He is now under arrest and in Holby's station waiting questioning. I was just calling to let you know that if he is found guilty of aid in this drugs inquiry it is unlikely he will be granted custody of Jess. If he isn't, then he can take you to court and demand that you give him his daughter."

"Right, and what happens till then?"

"Jessica stays with you or she goes into temporary foster care."

"She can stay with me," I replied, glancing at Ash to make sure that it was ok with him first, he nodded.

"Ok then. I'll call if there is anymore news." He answered and hung up.

"Are you sure Ash?" I asked putting the phone back on the hook in the hall.

"I'm sure Zoe. Jess knows us so well and anyone can see she is better with us than in foster care. I love her so much. Almost as much as you!" he teased. Wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up kissing me lightly.

I was giggling as we went into the kitchen hand in hand, I soon stopped though as we were greeted by the death stare from my mother.

"That was CPS. They found Pete." I said, watching my mothers face drop.

"What are they going to do about Jess? No way is she going to him." My father said.

"She's going to stay with Ash and I for now. Pete was arrested last night for drugs."

My mother didn't seem happy.

"She will stay with me and your father and that is that."

"Mum, she's staying with me." I said, more forcefully.

"Really Zoe. You don't want a kid to weigh you down." She reasoned.

"I have a great job, a great boyfriend and I want to look after my niece who is pretty much orphaned. Why can't you be happy for me?"

She didn't reply to this, just walked out of the room shortly followed by my dad.

I had no idea why she was so desperate to have Jess. I thought it was just the fact that she had lost Lou and wanted a part of her still, grief was like that. Another part of me felt that when Fee died she was four, just younger than Jess; maybe she wanted to replace her guilt from loosing Fee in helping bring up Jess.

I didn't really know and I didn't really care.

The rest of the day continued with me continuing to phone people and planning the funeral. I was going back to work tomorrow as was Ash, Jess was going to spend the day with me and my parents were going back home. I was looking forward to their departure.

I know this was really bad but the next one will be better hopefully and be up ASAP. Review please, I don't know if you are reading this and if I should carry on if you don't.