Sirius had been busy for the past few days; he had been getting everything in order for the court date (Mr. Glacier was still trying to set up the day). Harry had also heard that if he wanted to settle against his relatives, he would need to prove that he had been abused, which (according to Mr. Glacier) meant that he would need a physical and psychiatric exam. He had been trying not to think about this, especially not the physical, as he had never been to visit the doctor. Well, he supposed he had been with his parents as a baby, but he couldn't remember that.

Dudley brought his annoying friends over every day, so Harry did what he could to stay out of the house during the day. There was a playpark nearby that he could walk to. It looked like it was about as old as Sirius, and therefore not very safe, but the kids who went to the playground always looked like they had fun. Harry didn't know why he watched the families, but he did.

One young mother was leaning down at the bottom of a rickety aluminum slide, her knees almost touching the cement.

"Come on, sweetie, Mummy will catch you," she said gently.

There was a little girl at the top of the slide, looking nervous; she couldn't have been much older than three. At her mother's encouragement, she slid down the slide and into the woman's arms. Her mother gave her a tender kiss on the head.

Harry looked away from them, tears burning in the corners of his eyes, his heart aching for a mother's love. If Voldemort had not murdered his parents, would that have been him, sliding down a slide into Lily's arms?

The sun began to sink low behind the trees. Many of the parents packed up their things to leave. Harry supposed they were going home for—

"Dinner!" Harry moaned, nearly falling off the swing. "Oh, no! I forgot!"

Harry ran home from the playpark at top speed, wondering how he could have been so stupid. Sirius had owled him just yesterday morning—they were going to be having dinner with Barbara and her parents tonight, as well as an old school friend of Sirius's (Harry couldn't remember the name). Sirius was supposed to pick Harry up at 7:30, and it was already ten after!

Feeling the beginnings of panic, Harry rushed upstairs and hopped in the shower, washing his hair as quickly as he could (he hadn't had a shower in a few days, so this was definitely a must if he was going out to a fancy dinner). Perhaps he should wear cologne? But he didn't have cologne…he didn't even have deodorant. Dudley didn't either. Uncle Vernon had cologne, but there was no way Harry was going to wear THAT. So he bagged the cologne idea, put on his old dressing gown and entered his room. But what should he wear?

Oh yes! Sirius had rented him a juniors' tuxedo. But where was it? Harry hunted around in his room until he found the tuxedo in a shopping bag near the back of his closet. Unfortunately, he had never worn one of these before, and it was much more complicated than any outfit ever should be—

"Harry?"

7:25, said the clock on Harry's nightstand. Sirius was here!

"Hang on!" Harry cried, panicking and slamming his room door shut. Sirius would definitely be angry that Harry had forgotten about dinner! After all Sirius had done for him, he couldn't even be ready for dinner in time!

Harry managed to get his tuxedo pants on, and then the shirt, but (as much as he hated to admit it) after that he was kind of lost. He could no sooner tie the bowtie than he could translate one of his new textbooks into Japanese, and he didn't know when to button what or how he should use the cufflinks or how he could adjust the pants, which were too big in the waist. 7:28, said the clock.

"We've got to go, Harry!" called Sirius. "What're you doing up there?"

"Nothing! Everything's fine!" yelled Harry, just as he lost his balance and crashed into his wardrobe, knocking it over as he tried to pull on a sock and tuck in his shirt at the same time. "Ow…"

"What was that? Are you all right? I'm coming up!"

"NO!" Harry screamed. He shook his head to try to get some of the water out of his sopping wet hair, but all that did was make him dizzy. Unfortunately, that was when the doorknob turned and Sirius was standing in the doorway, mouth open in surprise.

Harry felt even scruffier in comparison to his godfather. Sirius was wearing his black tuxedo perfectly; his long hair was combed, gelled and tied into a tasteful ponytail with a small silk red ribbon. Usually when it came to shaving he wasn't exactly on top of things—more often than not, he was sporting a few days' worth of stubble—but he had definitely had a fresh shave today, and it looked quite different. He was the picture of grace.

"Straight out of GQ, aren't you?" said Sirius with a smirk. He used his wand to get the wardrobe off of Harry, then walked over to help him up.

"I'm ready," said Harry unconvincingly.

"Uh-huh," said Sirius. Harry thought his godfather would be angry, but on the contrary, he looked as if he was having a very hard time trying not to laugh. "Forgot about dinner, did you?"

"Yeah," Harry admitted. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right," said Sirius. "At least you washed your hair."

Sirius put his wand to Harry's temple and Harry felt for a minute as if his head was about to catch fire; then the sensation stopped, and when Harry reached up to push his bangs out of his eyes, he realized that his hair was dry.

"Thanks," said Harry. "I was afraid I would have to use Aunt Petunia's blow dryer."

"Her what?"

"Never mind," said Harry quickly. Swallowing his pride, he added, "D'you—d'you think you could help me put this thing on?"

"Of course I will," said Sirius. "But first, I picked something up for you on my way over here. Old Spice."

"Bearglove?" Harry asked, holding the antiperspirant in his hands.

"It commands grizzly-bear-level respect," Sirius explained. "Just put it on every morning before you get dressed, that's all. Okay, now, let's see…"

After Harry put on the Old Spice and set it down on his nightstand, Sirius helped him with the tuxedo. Well, more like Sirius bent down and started fastening and tying and adjusting and buttoning, while Harry just stood there waiting. Halfway through he got a glimpse of himself in his mirror. It wasn't encouraging. Why had he agreed to dinner? Suddenly all he wanted to do was eat a solitary dinner and spend the evening reading one of his new textbooks in his room.

"Sirius," he said dejectedly, "take back the suit. It's hopeless."

"Phooey," said Sirius, who was now working on fitting Harry's waistcoat.

"It's not phooey!" Harry protested. "I look so stupid."

"Where's your self-confidence?" said Sirius strictly.

Just then, Dudley burst into the room, wearing blue pajamas with clouds on them.

"Trying to look fancy?" he sneered.

"Well, if we were, you wouldn't be helping," Harry said back.

"Suspenders!" Dudley chortled. "You look like a sixty-year-old man with those!"

"Once you put the suit jacket on, you can't even see them!" Sirius snapped.

"I think you're going to have to try a little harder," said Dudley. "Harry can wear a suit, but he'll still be a skinny little loser with bad hair."

"Be on your way! NOW!" Sirius shouted, and used his wand to blast a hole in the wall. Dudley gave a shriek of fright and went tearing off to his room. He was so fat that the floor shook.

"Whatever self-confidence I had left just got flushed down the toilet," said Harry glumly.

"Don't listen to him, Prongslet," said Sirius, turning Harry around to look in the mirror. By now, he had everything on except the suit jacket. "You look great, just like your dad."

"But my Aunt Marge said that Dudley was a healthy-sized boy, and that I had a mean, runty look," said Harry in a slightly higher-pitched voice.

"Dudley is a lot of things," said Sirius, picking the suit jacket up off the floor, "but a healthy-sized boy is not one of them."

"What about me?" asked Harry.

"Well, not exactly," Sirius told him, "but it's not your fault you were malnourished. We'll build you up while we've got the chance. We can ask the doctor."

"Oh, don't talk about that, Sirius," said Harry miserably. "Do I have to go?"

"It's just what Mr. Glacier told us we had to do, that's all," Sirius said. "I know you've never been to the doctor's office that you can remember, but it's not that scary. I promise."

Sirius helped Harry put on the tuxedo jacket and adjusted the lapels. Harry may not have looked perfect, but this was definitely a better look than before.

"Just one question," said Harry. "How do you know how to wear this thing if you don't normally wear, y'know, Muggle clothing?"

"I own this tuxedo." Sirius gestured to his own. "I used to wear it on dates with women, and it's the one I wore to your parents' wedding. I had to get it taken in once I got out of Azkaban, seeing as I'd lost quite a bit of weight in there, but it's still as good as ever. The cuff links belonged to my father. They were supposed to go to my brother Regulus, but since he's passed on, they're mine now."

Sirius showed Harry his emerald cuff links. One had a snake engraved in it; the other had the letter "B". Sirius had also bought Harry some Old Spice spray-on cologne.

"Put on the antiperspirant every morning like I told you, but you don't need to wear the cologne during the school day," Sirius said. "You can save it for special events like this. Don't go crazy either—just spray it behind your ears and on your wrists like this—"

Harry coughed when Sirius sprayed him with the cologne.

"There," said Sirius proudly, turning Harry around to face his mirror. "You're ready. Now remember, what's the one thing you never leave home without?"

"Your wand?" Harry said, starting to feel nervous. He didn't recognize himself in the mirror.

"Well, yes, but I was talking about self-confidence," Sirius told him. "Don't let the Muggles get to you."

"I'm just worried I'm going to do something stupid and make a fool out of myself," Harry told Sirius, turning sideways in the mirror.

"It'll be fine," said Sirius. "Just have fun and remember your self-confidence."

"You're sure it's going to be okay?"

"I'm sure," Sirius replied. "Now grab my arm…We're going to Apparate to London."