Hi. =) It's a Yuna x Seymour. AU. Rated T. I don't own FFX or any part. Spoilers!

You know, I'm playing through this game again (twice, at the same time, actually...) and I just got to the part where Wakka explains his life and that he's 23. And I'm like, whoa, I'm 23. When I first started playing this game, I thought Wakka and Lulu were old. Not old old, old compared to the rest of the team and all... And I remember playing other FFs where their average age is like 17-18 and thinking man I can't wait to be that age... let's all take a moment of silence for what a silly idea that was.

Also, this has always bothered me, anyone else bothered by Rikku's Al Bhed outfit? I had to be told that it was a full body suit, but even after all these years and trying to be ok with it, I'm not. I'm just not.

Alright done rambling. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think. =)

I woke up. There was a Guado standing guard in the room. I sat up, and asked him how long I had slept. A few hours, only. I asked him to leave.

I told Seymour that I was going to see my friends. I was, but I'm also waking up slowly.

And thinking.

I need to think. I need to take a minute, at least one minute, to think about everything.

I've never fought with someone like that before. It's so unlike me. I've always tried to help, to make everyone as happy as I can in spite of Sin… so I never fight, always listen and understand and offer kind words… What is it about Seymour that made me feel so comfortable to yell at him? Be downright mean to him?

Especially considering he's a Maester. A Maester. Have I casually forgotten that? My manners, my respect?

But perhaps it is that he is a Maester, and a Summoner… We have chosen similar paths. We have both chosen to give our lives in service to Spira.

Maybe that's what makes me comfortable with him. I know that he's with me… he has the same goals, he's willing to make the same sacrifices… we're on the same team. Not that anyone in Spira is against me, but not so many are… I don't want to say it. (committed. Determined.)

I know this, this is why I'm so comfortable with my guardians, because they're willing to give their lives. We have this in common. We're on the same team. The death team. The any length team.

But they don't have to die. They might. Not that Seymour is in line to die… but he's in the most respected position in the world. And he's in it to… I can't say to benefit the world, because I'm still not sure of his intentions. I'm still not sure if I believe him. I suppose I should be thinking about our 'honeymoon,' where he shows me how exactly this is all a set up. Well, not until my guardians are safe. That is first priority.

But… this is the first time I've been alone… and I want to enjoy a few more minutes…

What are my feelings towards him? It's so complicated. Of course I felt an initial… intensity. Respect. And he expressed his feelings for me, way back. Way back at Mi'ihen. I knew then, that there was something there. I knew from the first moment I saw him. I couldn't put a name to it then, and truthfully I still can't. I'm so used to connections being shaky at best; it's a habit not to put too much stock into them. A stone, a stone that feels like butterflies, but… heavy butterflies… I don't know.

He loves me. He warned me of impending conflict, he ran with me to avoid fighting, he married me in a tiny little room, he imprisoned my family to spend more time with me… He endured my yelling, with kindness. He yelled, too, but it was all about how much he cares for me.

Everything is… it's all got a dark side. Nothing that he's done for me is simply sweet, it's all sweet 'in spite of' something.

I suppose… imprisoning them, was his first instinct, maybe? He's a Maester. He's accustomed to 'Bevelle politics,' maybe he's… I don't know… not used to… other things. Maybe he needs someone to remind him to be, well, human.

I stood up now, flattening my blue skirt. It was already flat. I looked in the body mirror and straightened my hair. No worse for the wear. I exited, and found the Guado guard not far away.

"Hello. Thank you for giving me some time to get ready. What is your name?"

"Jory." He answered flatly.

"Nice to meet you, Jory." He nodded. I tried to remember his features; green hair, narrow eyes… so that I might recognize him, and be polite… "Do you know where my guardians have been moved?" He waved a long, long arm and turned to walk. I followed.

We walked through the city, still bright and cheery, but the sun was getting ready to set. We walked up the orange bridges, toward the main roadways where the halls were located. City hall, the Treasury, the Bevelle Church, the High Courts… I was surprised with how much I remembered. We took a sidestreet down a little ways, where other official buildings were located, the Records Hall, the Warrior Monks recruitment. Another side street and another main street took us to the place where my Guardians are. It was… a "highly civilized holding unit." It was like a hotel. I was pleased.

It was like a hotel but the doorways were barred. The doors could close for privacy, as well. Lulu and Rikku stayed in one, Auron and Kimahri in another, and Tidus and Wakka in another. They had nice beds, television, phones (which were under restrictions,) and dressers. The dressers were highly monitored, no point in putting any contraband in.

How many hours left? Maybe a little over one day.

I visited Auron and Kimahri first. I felt I needed to, be lectured or something.

They stood there. They waited for me to speak.

"I'm so sorry for all of this. It's not right."

"You can say that again." Auron said dryly.

"Well, you were talking of stealing me away to Zanarkand." I challenged.

"That surprises you? You saw the sphere. He's not right, we were concerned for your safety, we still are."

"Until I get to Zanarkand, I know. You yourself said it was okay to marry him as long as I continued to journey."

"That was before we knew he was a murderer."

"What if he isn't? Auron, you were a warrior Monk, being preened for high clergy. You know better than all of us how these things can be."

A few moments went by, not many. He sat on the bed and propped his forehead on his hand.

"Yes, I do." More moments went by… Then he looked me in the eyes.

"If you were interested in Bevelle problems, I could've told you about them. If you were interested in politics you could've become a Priestess. But you became a Summoner. You wanted to bring a murderer to justice, okay. You were on a pilgrimage to bring the murderer of all murderers to justice, but fine, whatever, let's stop to right this one little one. Okay. Now you've been drawn into something way bigger, wanting to right so many more wrongs. You have the support of Bevelle, why do you need more?"

He was right. He was bluntly, dryly, right.

"I want… my father to be remembered… for more than just killing Sin. I want him to be remembered for being a good man, who raised a good daughter… He must have been a good man, if his daughter sought out to do… as much good as she could…" I looked at the floor… I didn't know the truth until it was coming out of my mouth.

Auron stood up. I held my gaze on the floor, but I could sense him rising and walking toward me. He put his gloved hands on my shoulders.

"Your father was a good man. He was far better than many men could ever hope to be. You and I both know this. Nothing can take that away from us, never." I looked in his eye then. I could see a bit of a smile in his cheeks, and I smiled too. My eyes began to well again, and he hugged me.

I didn't have much cry in me left, but a few gentle sobs escaped me in his arms. I was happy to share this with him, happy to have companions that could understand on such a deep level. We sat on the bed and talked about my father for a few hours, exchanging memories, telling stories, new and old. I was happy.

Eventually, I told him…

"I do care about Seymour. It's hard to admit, and I can't say why, but it's worth saying."

"Yes, it is, Yuna."

"He cares about me, too. That's the whole reason he did this… He was afraid you would rush me to Zanarkand before he got a chance to even spend a moment with me. And, if you think about it, him being a Maester, it makes sense for imprisonment to be his first response."

"Yuna… we could talk politics all night, if you wanted. All of his actions could have ulterior motives." I looked in his eye for a moment. I saw the lines of his face, and knew he was telling the truth, knew he was well educated of this. "But… if you do like him… You ought to enjoy some time before Zanarkand. It won't hurt to learn a bit about the world at the same time."

- It fits into the plan for her to learn about the world. The point of going to Zanarkand is for her to learn the ugly(er) truth and reject it. Learning some things here in Bevelle would probably only help.-

I smiled, a weak smile then. I had his support. Wasn't that such an accomplishment? But it didn't feel as great as you'd expect it to. It never does.

I visited Lulu and Rikku next. It was a nice refresher, to talk about girl stuff. Clothes and shoes and boys and kissing and etc… Of course we kept it light and exciting at first, to take the edge off. I am more grateful for that than they will ever know.

"So, what's it like, being married? Does it feel different?" Rikku asked. She's younger than me, by a little. But I'm still kind of young to be married.

"It does feel… a little different. But it doesn't matter, you know… it won't… last…" I said, thinking about the end of the pilgrimage.

"It could last." She added, hopefully, but almost obligatorily.

"Do you like it?" Lulu asked, in her dark, but interested voice. They didn't move, but I felt their eyes hone in.

"I… I do like him…" It feels like I'm saying that a lot lately. "I don't know what it is, but I do have an attraction to him. So as far as marriage goes, that's a good thing."

"It is a good thing." Lulu smiled, a real smile. She didn't expect me to ever enjoy liking someone.

"What about Tidus? Don't you like him more?"

"Yes, I do." There wasn't much to say. We all knew already what that meant. Nobody knew Tidus, not like they know Maester Seymour. Marrying him brings a hundred times more joy to Spira than marrying Tidus. And technically, since I took an oath as a Summoner, I can do what I want. I can marry Seymour but be with Tidus, if I really want to. I mean, just because I'm a Summoner doesn't mean I'm going to be… like that. But I could. No one would judge me.

But I may judge me.

But I'm going to die, you know? Die for everyone, so everyone can be happy. So everyone gives me a break, because everyday is my last day, and what would you do if today was your last day?

I don't know, maybe I will get more comfortable with the idea as we go on. We are rather close to Zanarkand. Which reminds me, I need to pray at the temple still. Maybe after we leave Bevelle, and Seymour isn't such a huge part of my life, in my face, I can think about Tidus more…

If he even still wants me to…

I think I should go see him now…

So I go, to their room.

They both seem unhappy. Disappointed still.

"I'm sorry." I mean it, of course, but after the day I've had… it feels so obligatory.

"You don't have to apologize…" Wakka says, but shaking his head.

"We just don't understand." Tidus adds. I can see him start to get angrier, not calmer. "We've been tugged around like puppets, for something that doesn't make any sense." I don't know how to explain in that moment, so I stay quiet. I stay quiet, so he continues to fill the silence. "We learn that the guy's a murderer, which you knew a loooooot sooner than us, and then you go and marry him. To what, protect him? So we don't fight him? I get that you value life and want to save everybody's, but I don't get how that makes any sense. I don't. At all."

Wakka shook his head some more.

Is it any coincidence, that by the time I talk to Tidus, I'm all out of fight for the day?

"Yes… I did it to avoid a fight."

"Why? That's huge life-altering decision! Don't you care? Don't you care about decisions that affect your entire life?"

We all got silent then.

"Don't you?"

I wished the others were in here too.

"Don't you care about your life?"

I finally lifted my head to look at him. Blond hair, blue eyes, devilishly handsome… I wanted to kiss him, to give in to my humanistic side and just get lost in kissing him, but I think that was just a reason to escape the moment.

"Tidus… when we get to Zanarkand…" Wakka began… but he hesitated. I thought for a moment how everyone used "Zanarkand" as a synonym for Yuna's death. He's rubbing the back of his head.

"To bring the Calm… to defeat Sin… Yuna will…" He turned to face him and look him in the eyes. I respected him for this, I don't know if I could do it. "Yuna will have to give her life."

Tidus broke down. Not all at once, in pieces. First he stepped back, like the wind had got him. Then he crouched, then he sat on the floor and stared determinedly down.

"Yuna…" he said… only that… I felt like, the three of us, would never move, in that room. I felt like, it was up to me to move, or no one would ever move again. I also felt like I shouldn't have to.

"Tidus…" I said.

"Everyone knows, don't they? Of course they do…" he all but spit the words. "That's why… that's why no one cared, it didn't matter, nothing matters, cause you're gonna die anyway!" He looked at me with the last sentence. "Why didn't you tell me?!" He turned to Wakka.

"We didn't know how-"

He was on his feet, fists balled on Wakka's chest, all in a moment.

"That's not good enough! There's this huge deadly thing called Sin, and there's the Church, and there's all these things I needed to know immediately after being in Spira, but this you kept from me?!"

My heart sank, and soared, at the same time.

I knew, there in that room, seeing his emotion, that I loved him.

He backed away from Wakka and paced a little big.

I went up and put my arms around his arms.

"I'm sorry. We didn't want to hurt you. We care about you.

"I care about you."

I looked in his eyes a moment.

And I leaned up to kiss him…

"You're married." He said, flatly, and turned away from my grasp all at once.

I stood there, feeling tiny, feeling weak, feeling naked.

He faced me again, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted nothing more than to walk out of the room, get some air. That makes sense, but it hurts. I wanted my big brother, because he was already there, but was torn between his comfort and Tidus' discomfort. I wished he could walk out of the room…. But he can't.

I looked at Wakka, sending my desire to talk with my brother through my eyes, before walking away. It's for the best, Tidus needs Wakka now much more than I do.

I went back to Auron and Kimahri's room.

I sat on the bed and Kimahri put his arm around me. A part of me wanted to cry… but a bigger part didn't. They knew he knew, without having to say it. We stayed there like that, Kimahri's arm around me, Auron sitting in a chair a little ways away, we stayed like that for hours. I went over everything in my head a dozen times, knowing that there was no way to change anything.

Eventually I fell asleep there, with the both of them close by. I was happy to have my longest standing guardian there, and the only living man who knows my father best. Maybe it was better than having my brother there. And Tidus really did need him more than me…

I had nightmare after nightmare of Tidus turning away from me…