AU. Yuna x Seymour. Rated T. Well probably G honestly. Maybe later. Spoilers. I don't own FFX or any part.
I always forget at least one of those, don't I?
Anyone watch 13 Reasons Why? Man it's depressing. I'm only watching to get it over with. Logical, right?
I try to end these at a good place. I don't know if I like where this chapter or the last one ended. I might change it.
There, I added a little more. If you can't tell. By my amazing editing. (it's the story that counts, right?) Wait so you can't see it. How come this doesn't copy and paste the indents? It's not a big deal. I'm thrilled that it copies the italics and such. Just odd. I know how to indent paragraphs, guys =p
I stayed there for hour (I was told, it didn't just feel that way) going over it in my head. Telling myself the story again and again, seeing it from Mika's perspective, Jyscal's, Seymour's, Marya's, Wakka's (you know… for the hell of it…)
But always coming back to the same thing: Jyscal is dead, there is no changing that. No matter how or why or if it was worth it.
So do I believe Seymour didn't do it?
Of course. Mika told me so, told me why, told me Seymour's sordid past. Why would Seymour kills his father? The whole sphere seemed silly now.
Then, I did want Auron's advice, his knowledge.
After all that meditating, thinking, just to seek the perspective of someone else anyway, ask someone else to tell me what to think, what to do…
I told Seymour that I wanted to go back to the hotel, to see my guardians. He didn't argue. He led me there, mostly in silence.
Well, he wanted to tell me about the city.
We spent most of our time at the top, well, I did. The higher bridges, the ones which touch the sky, they are where the important structures are; the Church, the Court, the Treasury, etc. Basically, the lower you go, the less important. And eventually, you get to the slums, the ghetto, underneath all the bridges and walkways, you get to a ground level, run down portion of the city, where the evil and unspeakable things happen. He wanted to tell me more, but I was only partially listening anyway, and didn't want to absorb any more, not on this day…
I went to Auron and Kimahri's room. We exchanged pleasantries, how are you, oh fine, how is imprisonment… etc…
Eventually, I recounted the whole tale to Auron, and waited to hear his opinion. He let it all sink in, and thought about it thoroughly.
"Well, are you satisfied?" He said, with a certain amount of spit.
That's not what I wanted.
"No, of course not."
"That is politics. You think it is one thing, one alliance, one simple conviction, but several run together. I can't say what is true, I can see how both could be. The truth usually lay somewhere in the middle. However, once again, are you a Summoner or a Priestess?"
He's right, just like before.
Do I believe Mika? He's been a Maester for years, respected by everyone, of course I (want to) believe him.
But it doesn't matter, the truth, because no matter what the truth is, it's too complicated. I am a Summoner, not a politician. It's not my job to know or handle these things, I chose to fight Sin. If it was a simple matter of bringing one killer to justice, well then yes, there's time for that.
So, after they were released tomorrow morning, we would continue our pilgrimage. No more distractions.
I just have to tell Seymour…
I want to see Tidus… but I don't know if he'll want to see me, after our last conversation. I suppose I should visit with everyone; I don't have to tell Seymour right this minute.
So I spent the afternoon visiting with Auron and Kimahri more, discussing training and Bevelle and my father and our group, and then went to Rikku and Lulu's room, and stayed there into the evening.
I told them I had a busy day. I didn't want to tell the story again. I told them the truth; that it's likely true that Seymour was set up, but that I didn't know all the details and it's too complicated and I know what my priority is. They let it be at that, thankfully, and we talked about much lighter things. We even played a board game that Rikku… acquired.
Of course… I knew what I was doing. I was avoiding him, at the same time wanting to see him, fooling myself into thinking that he wants to see me too, it's just not time yet.
Eventually the time came. I can't just ignore them, can't visit with everyone all day and not them. So I made my way…
Wakka greeted me brightly. He waved to me, not angry, maybe nervous.
"Hey, how you been? How's your day?"
"I'm good, Wakka. It's been a long day." I peered over his large shoulder a little.
"He's alright… still pretty down. He jes… he feels bad, ya? All the things he said…" he said quietly to me.
I had imagined the conversation, many times, since the day we met and I knew that he truly knew nothing about Spira. How do you tell someone that, that you're going to die? How do you tell that to someone you… love? I suppose it's easier than telling them that they're the one who is going to die. I can… escape, at the end. He has to live with it all. Then again, I don't know if he feels the same for me. I don't know if he feels anything for me.
He didn't say no. He didn't say, uh, Yuna, I don't care about you like that. He said, You're married. He said it like I had told his secrets, or like I had stolen from him, and there was nothing he could do about it. He said it passive aggressively. But doesn't that mean… that he does care?
I don't feel so comfortable here. It's awkward.
"How are you guys doing?"
"It's pretty boring, that's all. Not much longer, ya." Tidus sort of grunted. "Hey, you be a man and talk to the lady. You've had enough time to sulk." He hung his head for a moment, shook it once, and then straightened up to look at me.
"We're okay, Yuna." He looked me in the eyes. His voice was soft, somber. "Hey, it's a break from training, right?" A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"Right." I laughed, trying to be as gentle and content as I could.
We carried on, awkwardly, but there were comfortable moments as well. I avoided the topic of Seymour mostly, except for direct questions.
Speak of the devil…
There he was.
"Lady Yuna." It felt like I'd been petrified by a fiend, or caught doing something wrong by the teacher, but I don't know why. "Come. You may not stay here overnight." He was kind, but stern.
I stood up, and looked at them both.
"I'm sorry again, for this. Thank you for supporting me. I miss you."
Wakka nodded, and Tidus sort of scratched the back of his head.
"We miss you too." Tidus said… it hurt… but in a kind of good way.
I followed Seymour out after that.
"Where are we going?"
"To my place. Well, the place that I stay when I am in Bevelle."
I stopped us and looked in his face.
"You can stay in another room if it makes you feel more comfortable. The place doesn't lack space." He sounded a little tired. We continued walking.
I don't feel like I have any fight left in me. I feel… depressed? The day has been long enough on its own, and seeing all of my family lifted my spirits a little… but seeing Tidus…
It's like… it's like all I do, all the work I put into helping and being good and being smart, it's like it means nothing if he doesn't care. When did that happen? It's never been like that before.
Of course, no one has ever hung their head over my choice to journey before. No matter how sad it made someone, there was always appreciation, admiration, respect. Always, at least a little.
Now I feel like… I'm so tired… I don't want to waste my energy doing anything, if he's not going to see it, not going to pay attention or care. When did that happen?
We arrived at a beautiful manor, light blue accents on beautiful golden brick, styled like the rest of Bevelle. Entering the large double doors, we were in a huge common room, with offshoots for other rooms.
"The guest bedroom is there," he indicated one of the doors on the left, "And the master bedroom is up those stairs and straight forward, if you should need anything. I'll have someone come by your room to see if you need anything to eat." He looked forward as he spoke, until the end, he turned to look at me to see my reaction.
"Alright." I didn't know what to do. I'm not hungry, but even if I get hungry, he's going to send someone later.
Send someone… heh… no pun intended.
It's odd that he was ready to just part, give directions and then just part. He usually tries to squeeze more time out of me.
I remembered then that I needed to tell him my decision… but… it didn't feel right at that moment.
"Alright… I'll see you in the morning."
He took my hand, just below the knuckles, and kissed lightly.
"Goodnight, my beautiful wife."
And he was up the stairs and gone.
Wife…
Of course I know I am. Of course I know it's just a title, a deal, a bargain even. It's still interesting to be called that, to hear it. It's bittersweet. It's nice to hear, but not nice to think about why.
I went to my room- the guest room, I mean- and sat on the bed. There wasn't much to do. It wasn't long before the Guado came in to check on me. It wasn't Jory.
"Anything I can get you, M'Lady?"
"Maybe… a light dinner." I ordered potato soup, and it arrived quickly, to the room. I ate slowly, pondering.
I still need to go to the temple, and tell Seymour that we're leaving after that.
Oh, wait.
Should we go to the temple… before… they are let out? To save time? Should I wait until they are let out? Oh, it can wait… I'm so tired…
I awoke to Guado rustling around the room. I don't know why. It's spotless. I had the urge to "shoo" them, and almost gave in. That would be rude. Being that I didn't bring anything more than myself in, I simply left the room, entering the main 'lobby.' Seymour was already there.
"Good morning, Lady Yuna." His permanently affixed smile was right in place. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes." I was still waking up. Do I ask, did you? I'm not sure.
I remember the stone, then, the feelings I have for hi that feel like a stone in my gut. Intense, unavoidable, just, there, but not entirely pleasant.
His history… his mother died, trying to secure a place for him in this world… his father made countless deals, trades, decisions, to meet the same end… his father died for him, too, in a sense. He knows this.
"Would you… mind talking, for a little while?" He nodded, and lead us to a tea room off the 'lobby.' He instructed that we not be disturbed, unless he asked for someone.
"What's on your mind, Yuna?" Was that…. The first time he's ever said my name? Without a Miss or Mlady or my wife in front of it?
"Mika told me… everything."
"So then… you know."
"Your mother… and father… they both…" I didn't realize how rude it was to bring it up like that until it was out of my mouth. I should've made more time to wake up fully. I'll order some food as soon as possible, hopefully that will fix this mouth…
"Yes, they both died, protecting me." He said matter-of-fact-ly, almost like it was someone else's life he was talking about.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"
"It's quite alright, Yuna. I knew what you would learn when I asked you to marry me."
I thought for a minute… I was still just waking up, feeling a little bit hazy, but maybe… not so hazy.
"Then, why did you ask me to marry you?" Yeah, why bring me into all this?
He looked me in the eyes for a moment, "I love you."
"You proposed back in Guadosalam, you loved me then? We had only met twice. That's sweet and all, but, it's… it's a lot to ask… a lot to gamble…"
He sighed, imperceptibly. "It's true, that's not the only reason. You know, I wanted to unite our races further, as my father worked to do. Not only that… but I saw great strength in you, in your eyes. I knew about my family's, all of Bevelle's, complications… but I saw in you a strong Summoner who could manage that, and benefit us all. I merely asked for your hand, prepared to be rejected, as I know you have important work to do. It was a gamble… but should I win… then the whole of Spira has gained a great advantage, not just me." He looked in my eyes again.
"But… to find out that your father was murdered… and then to tell me you didn't do it… how could I… I mean who could just, move along? Not go and find out? I-I don't think it was fair."
"I didn't intend for you to find out like that. Should you have accepted, I was planning to tell you the whole story much more slowly, much more nicely."
"Is there a nice way to tell that story?"
"Perhaps not." I still hadn't even thought about what he said, that I could benefit all of Spira…
"So what was I supposed to be? A link between our races, a Summoner, how could I benefit all of Spira?"
"My dear… the story of my family… is dark, macabre, but useful. At many parts we were backed into a corner and violence was the only option. In light of all of that, my father chose the lesser of two evils, and when he didn't, Mika did. It wasn't easy, but it taught me a lot about trials and life. I can't say that I don't regret my father's death, but it helped me to be a better leader, a better Maester." I waited patiently for how this was answering my questions. "When I first learned that Mika is unsent, I was angry, ready to make things right. He put a hard stop to that. After learning everything I have, I am grateful that he did so, and I am grateful that he is with us. These things are not easy, but they serve worthy cause. Summoners aren't the only ones who give their lives to save many other lives. My parents were both willing to give their lives for Spira, and they accomplished great things.
"Being a Summoner, you have already taken an oath to give your life.
You bring something to the table that no one else ever has, neither Summoner nor Priest. Or, you could. You could be both. You could bring the compassion, the determination, the faith of a Summoner, and the strength, the intelligence, the discretion of a Priestess. You could inspire others to follow Yevon, to follow a life saving path, to save lives… You could do this, because you have the capacity to, the right qualities. Dona, Isaaru, Belgamine, none of them possess the devotion you have."
I rolled it around in my head for a moment. "Haven't there been other Summoners in the clergy?"
"Yes, but they were clergy, first. They became Summoners to advance their position, a political move, not a compassionate one."
I thought about it some more.
"What about… you?"
He seemed to darken, like storm clouds were forming in his face.
"I didn't become a Summoner for the same reasons as you." was his simple reply.
"So, I should, what? How can I help, when I have to die?"
"Wait, stay a while. Tell your story. Inspire people the way you already do, but take your time doing so, instead of rushing off. That's all."
Right as many wrongs in a short amount of time… those were my own thoughts.
The conversations I've had on the road have helped and inspired people. Maybe there is something to this?
"Yuna, everyone here… has an agenda. More power, more money, more followers. Most of the time for noble intentions, but done the wrong way. They were born in it, they don't know any better, you see.
"But you and I… we weren't born into this, weren't born into riches or offices… Sure, our fathers were famous, and we also both lost them. But we both came from a small town, a remote place, simple lives, and we both grew with a simple desire: peace."
The things he said make sense. I hadn't thought about how much we had in common before that, either. We both lost each of our parents. We both lived far away from the big cities for most of our lives. I wasn't old enough to understand Bevelle when I lived here.
"We bring something else to the table, which makes us powerful."
"And we can use that power for good." I said, adding, but almost correcting…
It makes a lot of sense.
Bloopers:
"Yuna, everyone here… has an agenda. More power, more money, more followers. Most of the time for noble intentions, but done the wrong way. They were born in it, they don't know any better, you see.
"But you and I… we weren't born into this, weren't born into riches or offices… Sure, our fathers were famous, and we also both lost them. But we both came from a small town, a remote place, simple lives, and we both grew with a simple desire: to kill…" his eyes kind of glossed over and he trailed off.
"… Sin."
"What?"
"To kill Sin. That's what you were saying, right?"
"Ah, yes. Of course. We both want to kill Sin. That is what unites us."
"What we have in common."
"Yes. What we have in common."