OK, sorry it's been a while. Moved, just got wifi, etc. Also this is all I have written so it may be a while again (hopefully not.)

Spoilers, rated T, AU, I don't own FFX. Hope you like! =)

We ate breakfast soon after, both deep in thought, but breaking for small talk.

"Ah, it's almost time for your guardians to be released."

"From their unjust sentence." He didn't reply.

I almost forgot about that… I wonder if they'll be mad when they get out?

I was planning to tell Seymour that I must leave once they are free. Am I still? Auron asked me, am I a Summoner or a Priestess. It was the most obvious thing in the world, if I have to choose. What if I don't have to choose? What if I can be both? My father was a Priest before becoming a Summoner… Not that it's in my blood or anything. Does the world really need more inspiration, though? More motivation than Sin?

That is why a Summoner must train physically and mentally, must sharpen the body and spirit. You must be prepared to live without Sin, you must be an example of how to wade the complication that arises without a great monster on which to lay all blame…

Isn't it a little… irresponsible, to rid the world of Sin, without being an example of how to live without it?

Maybe I can help… maybe my touch is what they need… maybe people like Marya and Jyscal wouldn't have to die to save lives in the future, maybe I can think of a better way…

Seymour took my hand, taking me by surprise, and kissed it gently. It took me by surprise, a little at first and then more and more… like the weight of everything was starting to catch up with me.

I yanked my hand back,

"What are you doing?"

He looked like a punished pup. A part of me wanted to feel guilty, but not a big enough part.

"We were headed to free your guardians, you seemed distracted, I just wanted… to comfort you… Is that not allowed? Do you dislike it?"

Do I dislike it? The kiss on the hand? Well, literally speaking, no. It's not the act… it's the situation. It's the timing, perhaps. But do I like… his kiss… on my skin?

"I…" I don't know what to say. "Let's just go."

"Very well." He bowed and began to lead, not taking my hand, not saying anything else.

I almost felt naked, walking through the huge crowd of people, adoring people, touchy people, without his hand. I took it then, hastily. He smiled at me, unaffected by my outburst earlier.

Taking in the sunshine, the adoration, the busyness of Bevelle… nostalgia creep at the outer edges of my brain. I almost feel like I'm walking through the streets with my father again, jumping from one thing to another, grabbing his hand and dragging him, only to dash away at the next wondrous thing.

A pang of longing goes through me then… I have… one, two, three, four, almost five Aeons, out of six. The next stop is the Calm Lands, then Mount Gagazet, then Zanarkand. No more Aeons until Zanarkand. And it's a long, treacherous journey through those places. Perhaps…

"Our next itineraries… what are they like?"

"Well Zanarkand is a sight you'll have to see with your own eyes. It is spectacular, in its own way."

"What about… the fiends?"

"The Calm Lands befit their name. There are some dangerous fiends, but they can be avoided." Avoidance… isn't exactly our way. "Gagazet is a truly treacherous trial. Lady Yunalesca has ordained a Guardian of her own there, to scare away those who are not worthy." I waited, but that's all he would say on the matter.

Perhaps… we could all benefit from a little time in Bevelle. We need to train, don't we? And who better to train with than the warrior monks, the most respected army in Spira?

You know what, I want to stay a while. What's the rush? We can leave whenever, so why not leave when I'm ready, instead of rushing away? I can make my own choices, and I should make my own choices; I can't just go wherever everyone tells me.

I stopped for a moment in the roadway, and Seymour turned to me with concern.

"I will stay, for a little while. I will play as your wife, and try to inspire the people here as much as I can. First, we free my guardians, and we will go to the Temple, without you."

He nodded, but an involuntary smile threatened to fill his whole face.

"I am beyond pleased of your continued presence." He took my hand again, and I hardened my face and walked straightly beside him. It's going to take a lot of confidence to break the news to everyone else…

They're disappointed… well mostly Auron is. He's asked me 'what did he tell you' a lot. And it's…. Nothing he said. Not Seymour. It's me, it's my heart, it's my reasoning. Why is that so surprising? If I were any… stronger in personality… I'd be offended. But I'm not. I know he's got the best intentions at heart.

But it's my story.

Everyone else seems OK, mostly. Tidus isn't, of course not. "Look at it as an opportunity to train with the best! To see the biggest city in Spira! Doesn't it remind you of Zanarkand at all?" Rikku asked enthusiastically. I think it made him angrier, which was cute, and I couldn't help but giggle… even though I know it's wrong…

Lulu and Wakka are happy to spend time in Bevelle. They're actually excited, even though they try to hide it. I mean, I'm excited, too, I just have so much more to worry about. But for us Yevonites… it's kind of like meeting a celebrity, well, several. And visiting the city they were born in. The city is a huge part of our history and religion. I don't think we ever wanted to just pass it by, but it was always assumed we would have to.

Kimahri is stoic. I think the city reminds him of my father… we have that in common, which is good and bad. I think it makes him more sad than it does me. Rikku seems perpetually happy.

We descended the stairs to the lower part of the Temple, the doorway to the Cloister of Trials.

But when we enter…

"Huh?" Rikku muttered.

Wakka was the first one to speak on it,

"What's a machina doing in the Temple?"

"I suppose it comes in handy."

"That's not what I mean! The teachings! What about the teachings?"

"Hey, don't look at me." She answered.

It is surprising… We all step on the platform which whizzes us through the staircase. It's more stunning than magic, and I see magic everyday!

I find myself staring at my feet.

I thought I knew about all the mystical and amazing things in Spira… meeting Tidus really showed that. But these days I feel more and more like him, being surprised over and over, finding things out about my world that I never expected. How could this happen to me?

"Another machina? Man…" Rikku operated the machine with mastery.

"So this is Yevon's true face."

That sentence stayed with me for a long time.

What do you mean, Auron?

In light of the murder, the secrets, arranged marriages, death marches… but machina is Yevon's true face?

I realize he didn't mean it like that…

"They betray their own teachings."

That's the point, I know…

But I also know that it's not that simple.

Don't murder. But what if murder saves thousands of others?

Don't use machina. But what if the time saved using machina speeds along and motivates pilgrimages?

Don't lie. But what if lying saves lives.

This is why he didn't want me to be a Priestess. He cares for me, he doesn't want me to deal with all this double speak and complication.

But if I don't, who will?

That's the basis of my life, pretty much. If I don't die to defeat Sin, someone else will. Someone who has children, who can build a village, someone who has… a happy marriage…

If I don't use my natural instinct of compassion, who will be in my position? Will they think of a way to save lives? Will they think of a way to lead people correctly? As easily as I can?

Wakka sighs,

"They treated us like dirt…"

Maybe I can change that. No more Wakkas feeling stepped on, no more Maryas and Jyscals dying, no more Seymours being bullied and outcasted… I can change that. I must change that.

Mika is right. Sin is one problem. Murder and prejudice and downright laziness, it's my job to fix these too.

We completed the Trials and I entered the Chamber with newfound determination.