[Track 3]
Ever since Psyche came back that day, father once again advised me to distance myself from him. I knew the reason to why, therefore I obliged to his wish. From time to time, I kept myself locked up in my room and never bothered to go outside. I no longer ate with my family, yet mother was kind enough to leave me some dishes. At times, I would sneak out, of course; to help myself with some food but there were those moments when I had to be cautious. The reason itself was very simple.
One day, as I sat by the window; my mind became too indulged with the novel that rested on my lap. I was smart for my age, my aunt told me that once before, and I had no problem in reading through it at all. Well, except for a definition for those fancy words back then. The plot consists of a boy whose life was filled of tragic events, his search through an adventure for an endless hope. Now that I think about it, he did remind me of myself. But there was something different about the boy. Somthing that I have truly admired. Unlike the flea like me, he stayed true to himself, never faking a smile as he strolled through the stormy clouds. Independent; never did the boy expect the others to make the first move.
A knock from the door however intruded my reading, thus snatching away my attention as I lifted an eyebrow in pure annoyance. After all, who wouldn't find it irritating to have disturbance?
'Who's there?' I called out, a sigh escaped from my lips before I'd settle the book down.
'Iza-nii? That's you, right?'
I froze, holding my breath as soon as I heard the familiar soft voice outside the door. My heart began to pound furiously, tuning out the now muffled chatters while the incident came back to me. Haunting my mind once again. Psyche. What was he doing there? I stayed silent, not responding to any of my younger brother's calls. There was another knock from the door, resonating throughout the whole room. Yet I did not move an inch, only remained in my glued place, listening to my rhythmic harsh breath.
'... Iza-nii? I know you're in there. Come on, mom and dad's not here.'
'Can't we play for just a while?'
I knew he was trying to stir up a conversation with me. I knew he was trying to make up to me at some point. But why? Does he feel guilty for what had happened? But no, no. That was unacceptable. Psyche wasn't supposed to feel guilty. He wasn't even supposed to talk to me. I've hurt him- He was supposed to be mad at me. I was utterly confused. I was at the fault for this, so why does he want to be with me again? I'll... I'll only make things worse.
Then another thought struck me, another reason to why I should not let Psyche in. If father happens to come home and found us in the same room, we would both be in trouble. At least, that was what I thought.
So, I said three things to make sure Psyche would leave me. Alone. Even by the means that I would end up hurting him in the end.
'Go away, Psyche.' And so I thought to my self.
That should be enough.
[End of third track.]
.Chapter Three.
A pen tapped against the desk repeatedly, russet eyes gazed out into the sky as they would flicker to each corner once in a while. Halting on his vent of impatience, Izaya turned for a glance at the clock, in hopes for the school to be over. Honestly, he wanted to be at elsewhere. Not in the same room, breathing with those animistic barbarians.
12:21 PM, it read. Four minutes till the bell rings.
Infuriated, the brunet deciphered to take a lean in opposition to his chair. The noise came as an annoyance to him as he surveyed his environment. The scene was a big pile of mess. The teacher for commerce was absent, and the others were not able to take over the class. Thus, explaining why the class was in the state of havoc. It fascinated him however, as he managed to capture few rumors here and there. Such an expedition, he chuckled to himself, thinking how silly humans are nowadays. Rumors are rumors. No matter what you do, they could come as a great offense or an impression to most.
Take Izaya for an example. Or that one smart kid who keeps getting high grades. Who knew that his full marks on every test could bring envy? Or even, hatred?
Maybe, just maybe. He mused, watching the clock ticking and neared to the supposed time. But what if he doesn't get perfect marks? Would that make people like him more? Maybe. But then again, Izaya wasn't going to take the risk in that. Remember, Izaya. This was all for Psyche.
The bell finally rang, but Izaya was already out of the door, his bag slang across his shoulder.
All for Psyche.
By the time he made a turn for his locker, Izaya immediately paused on his tracks. There, Shishizaki had rested his back against Izaya's locker, both arms crossed, followed by a worn face void of any emotions. From the looks of it, the blond appeared to be waiting for him to arrive. This certainly did intrigued the soon to be informant; it was rare to have Shishizaki trying to meet up with him. After all, the elder was a senior, and he would be graduating from Raira by this year. The first few months Izaya came here, he was one of the few people that managed to gain his interest. Least to say, Izaya grew fond but quite disturbed by the said individual's presence. As time flew by, and within the first year, the senior completely differed from the others.
Shrugging off his thoughts, the adolescent went to skid over, a grin plastered on as always before he chirped.
"Ah, Shishizaki-senpai! What are you doing here, ne? Have you been waiting for me? Ara, that's so rare—"
"Fuck off with the act, Izaya."
At this, Izaya flinched but only for a split second. That was unexpected. But how did he- Well, he knew what the other meant, but how did he see through him? Nonetheless, Izaya smiled. It was too early to let his guard down. However that didn't mean his mind did not slipped into panic mode, and this was one of the reasons why he had taken a partially great dislike in Shishizaki. The senior was capable of seeing through him; like a glass made out of crystal. It scared him, almost like how his father scared him long time ago.
"Act? I'm afraid that I do not know what you are talking about, my dearest senpai."
Instead of a comeback, the man only sighed out of exhaustion. By then, he brushed himself off against the cabinet, taking one step at a time to reach for Izaya. "Don't take me for a fool, Izaya," the words came out in a strangely calm yet threatening tone. It scared Izaya, and that was not common at all. So, why should he be afraid of someone else, when he isn't afraid of Shizuo? Shizuo and Shishizaki were alike on many ways. Both did not oblige to any of Izaya's predictions. Both of them were even blonds! Unlike the fortissimo of Ikebukuro though, never once did the other fell for Izaya's trap.
This should perfectly explain why the elder one only gave one of those looks in a response. Oh, you know, the ones that are 'Getting-real-tired-of-your-bullshit' faces.
Izaya squinted any eye at this point, only then would he take a glimpse around their surrounding. There were very few presences in the locker room, busily doing their own stuff as they'd rush out of the building school. The raven wanted to go as well, as Psyche could be waiting for him at anytime but in this case, Shishizaki already had him cornered. This vaguely meant there was no escape. For the millionth time of today, another sigh left the younger one's lips, and no movements were made for several moments. They patiently waited till no soul but theirs remained. Eventually, there was a faint nod finally given, a signal for the other to continue. "What do you want?"
"I want the truth."
"Right. A truth. And your question?"
"What do you feel towards Shizuo?"
The question caught him off guard. This wasn't the question Izaya had been expecting. He had predicted that Shishizaki would ask him the typical 'What are you planning?' inquiry. Then again, this man too was unpredictable. Although, he could not understand; out of all questions, did the senior have to ask that?
Lie, he should lie. It was too early to let his guard down. Therefore, he should lie. He has to, as the corners of his lips tugged upwards, "I'm sorry, but I don't get what you mean."
"I'm not dumb like Shizuo, Izaya. You've been staring at them during break today." Of course, with the senior's presence, it seemed as if nothing could ever work out. But damn it, must he be observant that time as well? The raven knew that there wasn't any escape to this. Even if he tried, Shishizaki will catch up to him in no time; there isn't any doubt. Least to say, he was the only one who could outrun the Izaya Orihara, with an ability to thwart his plans. Perhaps that should be expected from a heir of a rich family.
After all, there was a reason to why Shishizaki caught his interest. He possesed the raw strength of Heiwajima Shizuo and an intelligence compatible to Izaya's. The raven could not help but muster a giggle at this though. He wondered, if he and Shizuo had a child, would he be exactly like Shishizaki? That would be a coincidence. Maybe Shishizaki was indeed their child but from the future. Not to mention, the senior was also capable of stopping their cat-and-dog fights.
Out of nowhere, Izaya began to chuckle. Soon, bursting out into roars of laughter.
"Oh, senpai! You're really are funny! But ne, ne, you shouldn't look deep into things especially when they're small matters! For your question, Isn't obvious?! I hate Shizu-chan! Who knows that he would suddenly throw a tantrum at my brother? Of course, I have to look out for him and protect him from Shizu-chan!"
"That's the biggest bullshit I ever heard."
At this, Shishizaki took a step forward, immediately triggering the younger one's alarm. Out of instinct, Izaya had his hands brushed into his pockets; one of his palms held a tight grip onto it. He kept a stern gaze on the approaching figure, quite confused over the sudden situation. But never mind that.
It was still too early to let his guard down.
"You say you hate him but your eyes stated otherwise."
His grip on the blade tightened, irritation could be seen on his face as a scowl crept in. Since when did the other cared? In fact, why did he even bother? Izaya didn't know. He was clueless. He can't read the other's mind as easily as the rest of his humans. Psychology happened to be his favorite subject, and he always get the perfect scores along with the bonus marks. The mind of a human body, their emotions, it was all too easy since Izaya could see through them. So, why? Shishizaki was also a human. So, what made him different? What considered him humane when he was so similar to both he and Shizuo?
His eyes narrowed dangerously, almost letting out a growl when he noticed Shishizaki taking another step, "What's your point?"
But the other did not oblige to his question. "I don't get why are you hiding all of this. Are you sure you're keeping a look out for your brother?"
"Stop."
"Are you sure you don't feel envy towards any one of them? Do you..." And another step.
"Stop." Why can't people leave him alone?
"— Do you really hate Shizuo?"
"I said, stop."
In a second, the blade had been pulled out. Its tip pointing directly to the senior's face in an indication of a threat. Acquiescence fell upon them, and by now, the two were the only remnants in the section. Those that managed to witness Izaya's outburst already went to scurry off, not wanting to be involved nor dragged into their fight. It's a good thing that Izaya knew who were those witnesses— so if they ever get the idea trying to sold him out to teacher, or else he'll make sure they're regret it. They'd absolutely regret it.
As time passed by, both continued their game of staring contest, basking themselves under the pressure of the argument. No one dared to speak, or even move. They merely stood there, attempting to look past their soul and deep into it as if they were searching for the key, that could solve the entire problems. It wasn't until later when Izaya reluctantly pulled back the blade. Remaining his gaze on the tall figure as he shoved the object into his pocket.
Finally regaining his composure, Izaya sighed. Only to wear a smile once again. "... Don't think too much, Shishizaki-senpai. And this never happened."
A moment later, the brunet headed for the exit, leisurely walking past the blond. He needed to get out of there now. All he wants is to be back at home and bear all the pain to himself. After several years of putting up a barrier, no one shall get through it. Not even Shizuo.
"Izaya."
He stopped for a moment, his head hung low with limbs effortlessly dangled around.
"We both know that this is my last and your first year here. And I thought I should let you know."
"I could tell who are the broken people. By seeing them, I could easily tell who they are. They may have thousands of barriers to protect the inner walls. Whenever you and Shizuo fought, I took in the observations. Your actions weren't out of hatred, I know. I could see the reluctance in them. You are alarmed, sensitive to your surroundings, and you do not bode well with your emotions. You may have the perfection but there is one thing you've been disregarding; your eyes. They show sadness. Why is that, Izaya?"
— — "Why are you so sad?"
Silence was the only thing that answered the senior's question. Izaya did not respond yet, for he had already walked away. Leaving Shishizaki to be the only one left in the building. The building drenched under an atmosphere that could make one feel lonelier than ever before.
Author's note: I'm sorry that I didn't get to update the story yesterday! So I made it extra longer. I hope you guys won't be confused. So, now you found that in this story, Izaya is still in his first year at school. You betcha, this is going to be one long story. And I like to take things slow, thank you-