Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

A/N: Here is a dreaded transition chapter.

Thanks to my beta Queen of Jokers!

"Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life." –John C. Geikie

Chapter 28

Walking into the bar for his shift, he saw Tifa talking to a man and they looked like they could be close, he looked vaguely familiar, but missing parts of his memories, made things difficult. Cloud lowered his head and walked past her to get to the kitchen as quickly as he could. Tifa did look at him as he passed by and the man was so involved in Tifa that the man didn't notice him. Tifa looked back at the man, "Bye Jacob," Then she caught up with Cloud, "How are you doing today? Did you sleep well in a new place last night?"

With a quick nod, Cloud quietly said, "Thank you Tifa." Turning around, he went to the back room and thought that maybe if he ignored her, it could make it easier for him to be around her. His plans to save his money were to leave Midgar and start a life somewhere away from everything he hated, Shinra.

After work that night, he and Alana walked home together. She was a little cold, so she wrapped her arms around his arm, "I'm cold. Aren't you cold?"

He really didn't want to be touched, but he figured that it was harmless, like the way Zack would always grab him in a headlock, or hug, "Not really," Cloud looked down at her and she looked at him and smiled.

"You're not very talkative are you?"

"No," Cloud thought about Zack, he always had something to say.

"So, are you and Tifa a former item? Did you date back in your hometown? Tifa never really said," Alana asked with raised eyebrows and a mischievous smile.

Cloud thought about it and they never dated, but he'd always wanted to, "No."

"I'll tell you about my last boyfriend, if you tell me about your last girlfriend," They reached the apartment and Cloud unlocked the door, "You know, compare crazy stories. You're the new one, so you first."

"I really don't… I just…" Cloud thought really hard to find his way out of this situation, because he had never had a girlfriend. It just wasn't something he wanted to share. It embarrassed him that he was a 20-year-old man and had never been with a woman, not that the last few years gave him any opportunities to even meet a woman. He just didn't feel like explaining it to her, and he never would.

"You have had a girlfriend haven't you?" Luckily she was looking at the door as she unlocked it, relieved that she didn't see him fidget in place.

Cloud smiled nervously, "Ladies first," He said quietly as he sat on the couch, rubbing his hands on his pant legs.

She put her hands on her hips, shaking her head, "You're not getting off that easy. Now fess up!" She plopped down on the couch next to him and waited, staring at him, she wasn't going to give up.

He looked back at her and then dropped his gaze, got up and walked to his room, "I'm going to bed." He closed the door quietly, wishing he had a better way out of the conversation better.

Talking from the other side of the door, she sounded frustratingly amused, "You're not going to tell me?! Well your lack of answer tells me one thing mister, you haven't had a girlfriend!"

Sitting down on his bed, he listened to her talking and it was kind of comforting have someone talking, it helped him to relax. Although he had feelings for Tifa, he did like Alana, she actually reminded him a little of Tifa.

"Okay, hey, you're secret is safe with me!" She hollered through the door.

Taking his boots off, he put them at the foot of his bed, stripped down to his boxers, getting ready for bed, then he heard her bedroom door close. Suddenly noticing that he needed to use the bathroom, he was going to make a quiet run for it since she was in her room now. Opening the door slowly, he peeked around the corner, confirming that she'd gone in her room. Running three steps, he was at the bathroom door and quickly closed the door behind him.

Once finished, he opened the door and there she stood. He went into shock and froze. A deep blush flushed his pale cheeks and his eyes had a faint glow. She covered her mouth to stifle the giggle that was heard regardless of her hand being there, "Do you usually run around in your underwear?" She giggled again. All he could do was briskly walk back to his room, trying not to run in embarrassment.

The next day, while he was at work, it was Alana's day off. He didn't see much of Tifa, but he was busy and keeping busy kept his mind off of her. Often, when he would see her, he would catch himself sneaking a peek, but he would quickly glance away so she wouldn't catch him staring. They'd had a lot of customers that night and he was exhausted, but he liked it, maybe he could sleep.

When he got home, she was watching TV. He plopped on the couch, much the way Zack would have, and she asked, "Ya'll busy tonight?"

Running his fingers through his blond hair, messing up the already unruly spikes, "Yeah, I think I washed every dish in that place at least ten times," Laying his head back on the back of the couch, he sighed.

"Well, you may not like it, but you owe me money," She leaned in and stared at him. No smile, no sneer, nothing but a good poker face.

Eyebrows pushed together, he asked nervously, "Why? Is rent due already?"

"No, I went shopping today and I got you some clothes. You've been wearing the same ones for days, maybe even weeks now. I put them in your room."

He looked at her and she had a sweet smile. He wondered what her lips would feel like on his, what her skin tasted like.

"Hello… Alana to Cloud."

His daydream interrupted, "Oh, uh… sorry… I'm just tired. Uh, how much do I owe you?"

"Oh, don't worry about it now. You can pay me back when we get paid. Here have some," She gave him a small bowl that held an assortment of cookies.

He took a few and got up, "I'm gonna get a shower."

Without looking away from the TV, she mumbled with a cookie wedged between her teeth, "Okay."

Shutting the door, he started the shower and his thoughts began to sprint as his heart began to race. He was thinking about Alana a lot. He longed for something, a softness that Alana could give him. Did he like Alana in that way? Did she like him in that way? Fantasies was not what he needed or wanted anymore, so he was going to have to forget about Tifa, getting over her would be difficult. If he moved on then maybe that would be the start to fulfilling his promise to Zack.

Walking home from work, he ruminated, it had been a little over four weeks since he moved into Alana's apartment. He was going to have the next two days off and he hadn't really thought about what he wanted to do. His last two days off, he'd spent sleeping most of the time and the rest of the time, he went to the grocery store and cleaned up around the apartment.

Opening the door to the apartment, he noted that Alana was not there. Taking advantage of having the place to himself, he decided to shower. He disliked showering, knowing there was someone outside of the door.

As the hot water trickled over him, his thoughts went to Tifa. She had worn a tight shirt that showed her dangerous curves and several times, he'd been looking at her instead of what he doing and damn near cut his finger off. Tifa's shorts were skin-tight also and he pictured him pulling them off of her and throwing them across the room.

Before he knew it, he had a problem and he was just glad he was in the shower and not somewhere it would be embarrassing. He had this problem a lot lately and he blamed Tifa and the spring time warm weather had turned unseasonably hot the last couple of days. If she wouldn't wear those damn tight clothes that covered very little it wouldn't be so bad. He closed his eyes and pictured Tifa on her tip toes reaching over the bar, as she bent over it. He held on to the image of her in her shorty shorts that would ride up just enough and that was all it took.

He could only guess that the mako enhancements where to blame for his other problem. It didn't help that he still couldn't get the picture of Tifa bent over the bar out of his mind. Oh, gods how he wanted her, but she was unavailable to him anymore, or so he felt. That was okay though, he liked Alana and he thought, hoped, that she may like him too.

When he turned off the water, he heard the TV was on, "Shit," He whispered to himself. A shiver of guilt raced through his gut as he wondered how long she had been home while he had been 'showering.' He wrapped the towel around his waist and picked up his dirty clothes and shuffled quickly to his bedroom. Pulling out some jeans, he put on his new favorite t-shirt that asked, 'Did You Eat an Extra Bowl of Stupid this Morning?' His bare feet brushed the small area rug he had bought last week. He ran his fingers through his hair, took a deep breath and came out of the bedroom.

She sat on the couch and greeted him with a smile, "Hey, how was your night?"

"We weren't too busy," He noticed that she was wearing a loose button up shirt that was only buttoned to her breasts. Her shorts were old sweats that she'd cut the legs off and they barely covered half of her thigh. He internally sighed and plopped down on the couch and asked, "Why are you always watching kissy face movies?"

"I happen to like the romantic side of life. Thank you very much. Have some ice cream," She shoved the bowl at him that had her snack for that night. He grabbed her spoon and took a taste and she added, "Good?"

"What flavor is this?" Cloud took another bite.

"Chocolate caramel cookie dough," She went to take another bite and Cloud grabbed the bowl out of her hand and started eating it furiously. He laughed as she reached up and over trying to get the bowl. Getting another huge bite, he had pretty much finished it off, "Hey!" His back was over the arm of the couch and he held the bowl over his head.

He looked up at her face that hovered above him. He stopped laughing and swallowed the ice cream he still had in his mouth. Her body lay on his and the feel of her on him added to his sudden arousal.

When he had stopped laughing, she looked down into his eyes. A rush of feelings that he'd not felt gave him a new sense of confidence. Zack was always the one who was confident around women, not him, Cloud was always shy, especially around Tifa.

With one hand he brushed it over the side of her face and put some of her hair behind her ear. Leaving his hand there, he took her by the back of her head and pulled her face toward his. When his lips met hers, he dropped the bowl on the floor with a clang. With both of his hands now free, he deepened their kiss, inhaled and reveled in the feeling of the close contact. He liked how it made him feel, the feel of her next to him, the feel of her lips on his, he didn't want to stop, but… he didn't feel like these were his real feelings. Breaking the kiss, he sat up.

A look of confusion crossed her face, when she asked, "What's the matter?"

Quickly standing up, "I can't do this. I-I'm sorry," He paused and turned back toward her.

Alana was slightly out of breath, "Cloud?"

Looking at her sitting on the couch, his heart beat hard in his chest. For the first time in his life, he was going to act on what he wanted right then. All the times he lay in bed, not able to sleep, needing that arm around him, Zack's comforting arm, the one that kept the terror at bay, he wanted that back; but Zack was gone and he was tired of sleeping alone, waiting for the terror to strike again. He hated to admit it, and he would deny it if asked, but he needed that body next to him. One thing that Zack taught him was just to live and be in the moment, he didn't want to wait for Tifa anymore.

Making a decision, he took Alana by the hand, stood her up and said with a confidence that was almost like the General's, soft in volume like his own voice, but with a lilt of caring that Zack possessed, "Nothing."

Pulling her in for another kiss, his hands found their way to the buttons on the front of her shirt. Fumbling with the buttons, he lost patience and decided to rip the shirt open, leaving buttons bouncing around the floor as he yanked her shirt from her shoulders.

Yanking his shirt over his head, he went back to her lips, searching for a deeper connection. An animalistic feeling overtook him and while his kisses deepened, he slipped out of his pants. The feelings of anger, frustration and sadness replaced any real want, but the monster in him needed sating now that it had a taste of what the release of these feelings could be like.

At his insistence, she removed the rest of her clothing and the feel of her soft skin under his hands, pliable and willing, the sight of her naked body that waited for him, excited him even more. Again, impatience took over and he picked her up, taking her to his room just a few feet away.

Falling on to the bed, she revealed her soft neck he paused. His eyes dilated and began to glow brightly, surprising Alana, "Cloud? Your eyes… Why are they gree-"

Biting down on her shoulder, leaving a mark, he growled out in a lustful tone, "Husshhh."

Slipping off his boxers, he slid one of his knees up under one of her knees pulling her leg up over his hip. Leaning into her roughly, she let out a shrill moan into his ear. His heavy breathing next to her ear sent goose bumps up and down her body.

Closing his eyes, he tried not to picture Tifa.

After looking for Cloud for well over a month, he was about to consider that he'd left Midgar. During the month, he had seen Aerith as often as he could and they had even had dinner together a few times. She had something about her that he couldn't be without, he craved it, needed it. He had told her about his being in trouble with Shinra and that his real identity needed to be kept secret. He was even able to go without his wig around her and he liked it when she would run her fingers through the long locks of silver.

Over the time of his courtship of her, he'd let her know how he felt about her and left it up to her if she wanted to pursue a more formal relationship with him. Being a few years older, he felt it a good idea to leave the final decision to her. Now it was the next day and he anxiously awaited her answer. Until then, he put the wig on and his search for Cloud continued.

He'd taken a job, delivering goods and messages to various stores and pharmacies around the city. It gave him an opportunity to search while he worked and he'd already searched several of the other Sectors. Only Sectors 7 and 2 remained fully unexplored, then he would start searching the top of the plate, which he hope that Cloud wouldn't go up there.

As he walked down the street toward a store with the package of goods under his arm, he saw the object of his search, walking with a girl with long dark blond hair. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of his friend's blond hair sticking up as he was walking and talking, alive and well.

After searching for so long, he'd finally found him and followed them to a restaurant and bar. By the way they were both dressed, they worked there, so he delivered the package to the store he had been there for and returned to the bar, sat quietly across the street and waited for it to open. Elation turned to trepidation when he thought about how Cloud would react, but he had to try, he couldn't just stalk the boy forever.

When the open sign got turned around, he made his way across the street. Walking in, he didn't see anyone at first, but soon recognized a pretty girl with long dark hair as she came from upstairs, "Hello! Can I help you sir?"

His heart jumped, would she recognize him and stop him before he even got a chance to explain? Again, he summoned up his battle field courage, "Yes you can," He paused, "I am looking for a friend of mine. I was told that I could find him here, his name is Cloud."

She smiled and shook her head, "I'm sorry, I don't know anyone by that name," The swish of the kitchen door opening behind her, he was able to get a better look at Cloud, his friend.

"Hello Cloud," Sephiroth let one corner of his mouth rise in a nervous smile, but he sounded a little sad, yet relieved, "It's been awhile."

Cloud stopped and studied his face for a moment, his brows furrowed until his face hardened to something like granite. The stack of clean dishes he held, he placed down on the counter in a haste before he punched the visitor in the face, knocking him to the ground and didn't stop there. Sephiroth dodged several more from the floor until he rolled out from under Cloud's barrage and got to his feet.

Taking one last swing, Cloud yelled out, but Sephiroth blocked it with his arm, "Get out of here!" Cloud spit out, the veins in his biceps and his neck pulsed with his efforts. Cloud's face warped into what Sephiroth thought anger would look like if it were a tangible object.

"Cloud, please," Sephiroth touched his bleeding and swelling lip.

Through building tears of fury, he yelled and choked out, "You! You let Zack die!" The pain of that statement made Sephiroth nauseous. There were many nights that Sephiroth's guilt from Zack being killed kept him up for days at a time, but actually hearing it, and hearing it from Cloud, his heart sank into an abyss. For so many nights when he was able to sleep, he only dreamt about how things would be different if he had made it back in time.

Cloud stood there for a moment, "I can't look at you, you son of a bitch!" Turning to go up the stairs, Sephiroth really couldn't blame him for his anger, from Cloud's perspective, Sephiroth did abandon them. However, the fact of his promise kept him from just leaving.

Tifa and Alana looked at each other in shock, but Tifa got out, "Alana, could you get him a wet cloth? I'm going to go see what in the planet is going on."

"Y-Yeah, okay," Alana went into the kitchen and got the wet rag as Sephiroth sat in a chair, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I will be. I am worried about Cloud though," Holding the rag up to his face, Sephiroth mumbled, "I am really starting to get tired of getting punched in the face though," He pulled the rag back, looked at it and then put it back on his lip with a grimace.

Upstairs, Tifa knocked on the office door, "Cloud, I'm coming in," Opening the door, Tifa touched his arm, "What is going on?" Cloud's face twisted in anger, his fury and agony was boiling at the surface, he couldn't hold it any longer. Punching the wall beside him, misery washed over him and he fell to the floor on his rear, he held his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees, "Cloud, please," Tifa begged, "Tell me what is going on?"

In an eerily calm tone and without looking at her, "Tifa, it is a very long story."

Tifa yelled back at him, "Well dammit, I'm listening!" She held her fists at her side.

Cloud jumped at the sound and looked at her with pleading in his eyes, "Please, Tifa. Don't make me do this now," His body felt like he'd been beaten, he could hear the sounds of that last battle, and that last scream that belonged to Zack, as it played like a recording in his mind. His heart ached when his thoughts went to the last time he saw Zack, broken, bloody, beaten and dying.

Alana came into the room, "Cloud, can you come downstairs please?" She went over to him and got on her knees next to him.

As she tried to put her arm around his shoulders, he pushed her away, "Don't Alana. I can't do this," His head went back down to his hands.

"Please Cloud," She kept her distance this time, but he said nothing. Alana looked up at Tifa, "That man wants to speak to you and Cloud."

Tifa said firmly to Cloud, "Well I'm going to go ask him if you won't tell me." Briskly getting down the stairs, Sephiroth watched her as she reached the bottom of the stairs, walked right past him to the front door and locked it and turned the sign around that indicated that they were now closed. Pulling out a chair, Sephiroth stood up as she sat down. Her fingers interlaced as they set on the table in front of her. Dark brown eyes pierced through him. In a voice of authority, she asked, "Now, maybe you will tell me what is going on?"

"I don't know where to start," He shifted his weight in his seat.

She leaned forward across the table, "I've always heard that trying at the beginning is a good start," She was stern and to the point and the former General appreciated that about her instantly.

His eyes watched her hands as he asked quietly, "Well, I should ask first, do you remember me?"

"No," Her expression did not change.

Dread crept into his gut, how would she react? She demanded answers and he wanted to answer them, he at least owed her that much. He took off the wig and his long silver hair flowed down toward the floor. Tifa jumped to her feet and the chair fell backward and crashed into the table and chairs behind them, "What the hell?!" Instinctively, she gripped at the fine scar where the mad General's sword painfully kissed her skin.

"Please Tifa, hear me out first," Sephiroth stood slowly and tossed the wig on the table.

She backed away toward the bar in fear and paused for a moment, her look was one that told him that if she could right then, she would try to kill him in fear. As quickly as the fright showed up, it vanished under a veil of outrage, her face and body language changed again into anger. Looking at him though, she noted that he wasn't trying to kill her, curiosity played across her features, "I must be going insane."

"I wish it were that easy," Sephiroth calmly added.

She straightened herself, took a deep breath then took a single step forward, "This better be good…" She crossed her arms and stared incredulously at him. Alana came down the stairs and stood beside the bar.

"What happened in Nibelheim, it wasn't me… not really."

"It most certainly looked like you," Her lips pursed and her face reddened with a twist of anger and pain.

Keeping his hands visible to her, he tried to keep her calm by allowing her to see that he was unarmed and vulnerable, "Before I was born, Professor Hojo infused me with Jenova cells and mako. She was able to take control somehow, and she used me. You remember Soldier First Class Z-" Choking on his friend's name, he swallowed and tried again, "Zackary Fair? Well he tried to stop me, but I almost killed him. That is when Cloud showed up and he succeeded in… killing me, after I stabbed him through his chest," He paused as she shifted her weight impatiently, "Zackary and Cloud got captured by Shinra and Hojo. That was when they found me in the reactor where Cloud had thrown me. I was incased in some sort of crystal until Hojo released me from the crystal and resuscitated me."

Her stance was impatient and her tone was curt, "So you're saying that you burned down the town, killed everyone because this Jenova made you do it?" Pausing, she added quickly, "That is an incredible story. Now you can leave."

She turned to leave but Sephiroth reached out and touched her arm with his fingertips, "Please, there is more."

Turning back around sharply, her eyes fell to his hand touching her arm. Feeling the deadly glare from her, he removed his hand. She looked up at him and snapped, "Well, what is it?"

He looked over at Alana and then lowered his voice, hoping that Tifa would be the only one who could hear, "We were held captive and experimented on," He lowered his head and sat back down, "-and tormented for years. Hojo did something to Cloud and he was in a comatose state for months. Zackary and I were able to escape but not before we got Cloud and left. We were on the run for almost a year before-"

"Are you to the part where you abandoned Zack?" Cloud stood at the foot of the stairs, his fists at his sides and he looked ready to fight. Tifa, Alana and Sephiroth looked in his direction, "Left him to fight alone? Left us to die?!"

"Cloud, please, hear me out," Sephiroth stood up, "Once we had gotten within sight of Midgar, I decided that I should go in to check things out to make sure it was safe," Sephiroth looked at Cloud, "I said that he should stay with you if you woke up," His eyes instantly saddened, "I tried to get back in time, but I was too late. You were already gone," He lowered his eyes, "and so was Zackary…"

"Cloud, is that what happened, is that where you got those scars and nightmares?" Tifa walked toward him, she needed to know. He glanced at her and quickly looked away again. His face showed anger and shame. He closed his eyes and his shoulders shuddered. When he opened his eyes again, he walked out the front door. Tifa looked at Alana as the shorter woman started to cry as she ran to the bathroom.

Tifa looked back at Sephiroth again, "That's not all is it?"

He looked at her and shook his head, "Please don't ask me to tell you. I'm not even sure that he remembers all of it and it would probably be best that he doesn't," Sephiroth pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Tifa, "Here is where I can be reached. Please don't hesitate to use it."

"I'm guessing that the wig is a disguise since Shinra is after you too?" Tifa said in a voice that Sephiroth took as anger battling with grief and understanding. Sephiroth nodded and rose to leave while he replaced the wig. Tifa stayed silent as he walked out the door.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."

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