"This is why I hate shore leave. I swear, you park the ship for five minutes…" Joker grumbled as he steered the street car.

"Can you contact Citadel flight control and get them to deny the departure request?" I asked checking my gun again.

"Tried. All the comm lines in the area are jammed…probably to make it easier for them to steal my ship."

"Shepard, your clone has entered the ship and is attempting to…" EDI made a strange noise and powered down! I turned around just in time to see her body sag.

"EDI?" Mordin poked her carefully. "Unfortunate."

EDI lulled slightly before sitting up. One of her eyes was crooked. "I'm okay!"

Joker turned to look at her too. "Really."

It took her a few blinks before her eye went back to normal.

I stared at her for a moment longer before turning back around. "Joker, eyes forward."

"It's fine." He assured me. "These things practically fly themselves."

"Then why do I need you?"

"My good looks and people skills?"

The street car went silent.

EDI thankfully broke the silence. "The clone has disabled my control of the Normandy as well as all sensory input. I cannot lock them out or counteract the commands."

That kind of sucked.

"You still fit for duty?" I asked.

"I am experiencing a significant feedback loop in my head, and an increased desire to kill your clone."

"Get in line."

"Well, whatever you do, hurry. If the Normandy gets to FTL, we may never see her again." Joker told me something I already knew.

"We won't let them steal you, EDI." I promised glaring out the windshield.

"Okay, Citadel systems are targeting the car." Joker started to turn the sky car. "Any closer, and they open fire."

The three of us jumped from the car not waiting for Joker to fully stop. "Get back and pick up the others. ASAP."

"Right. They can't have gotten far." Joker paused. "Unless they called a cab or something."

Joker wouldn't be Joker if he didn't crack a joke at inappropriate times.

The shuttle door closed just as Mordin and EDI shouted at the same time. "Guards!"

I crouched behind a side wall with Mordin and EDI on either side of me. You could hear the bullets strike the cover. "Well, at least we have the higher ground for once."

"For now." Mordin popped up, squeezed off a few rounds, and dropped knelt back down. "Must relinquish if plan to board the Normandy."

We didn't need to kill all the mercs, we just needed to make it to the ship. "We're making a sprint for the Normandy. Don't stop to shoot unless you have to."

They nodded.

"Now!"

We emerged from cover. I jumped down from the ledge via the opening with Mordin providing cover then vise versa. EDI, with her metal legs, launched herself over the side and landed in a crouch rejoining us.

"Damn it, they're going for the ship!" I heard a merc shout.

"I thought they were supposed to be dead." Shouted another.

"Didn't you know? I never stay dead for very long." I really was spending way too much time with Joker if I was cracking my own 'not the time' jokes.

I made a dash down the dock and heard a high pitched 'whine' like noise.

"Sniper!"

I don't know who shouted the warning, but I was able to dive seconds before the bullet collided with the machinery I would have run past. I peeked up just in time to see the sniper hadn't cloaked and then a very loud and big explosion. The body of the sniper somehow landed beside me.

"Apologize, Shepard."

"Thanks, Mordin, I think."

We ran up a small flight of stairs and in our haste, we almost ran into a terminal.

"The Normandy's engines are coming online! They are preparing to depart!" EDI's voice carried over the noise.

"When we want to take off, there's a half-hour of preflight checks." I grabbed the ladder and slid down. "They just gun the engine and go?"

"Most of those checks are actually unnecessary!" EDI informed me.

I stopped mid run and let the other two run by. They slowed to a jog before stopping and turned to look at me. "Thanks for letting me know!" I didn't even try and hide the annoyance in my voice.

"Shepard, discuss later." Without taking his eyes off me, Mordin raised his gun and shot a merc in the chest. The poor thing fell backwards over the railing. "No time."

Damn it to hell. He was right, but I was still mad.

"Send a warning to the Normandy!" The merc. Lieutenant ordered.

"We can't. The Comms are jammed, remember?" Came the reply.

The Normandy was right there. I changed out my clip as I ran firing the first new bullet into some poor bastard's leg who was too close for comfort.

"Haste required." Mordin urged keeping pace

"I didn't come this far just to watch the Normandy leave." Plus Joker and EDI would never let me hear the end of it.

The bay door opened for us and we rushed in. We'd just rounded the curve to meet Samantha Traynor.

"Wait, what?" Traynor was standing outside the door holding her toothbrush. "You were just on the Normandy!" She shouted. "You, you fired me! Dishonorable discharge for conduct unbecoming!"

Maybe instead of sending me after the Reapers, we should just send a very pissed off Specialist Samantha Traynor at them.

"You kicked me off the ship with barley enough time to grab my toothbrush!"

"I can't fire you without a disciplinary hearing, Traynor and that's a Cision Pro Mark 4. It uses mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums."

Mordin and EDI ignored us walking past looking for something.

"Yes, I told you that!"

"And I remembered because I'm the real Shepard."

Traynor turned to see what they were doing. "Someone just threw me off the ship. If it wasn't you…" She turned back to me confused.

"Shepard dropped through sushi restaurant floor. Killed mercenaries with pistol. Broke into a casino. Entertaining. Discovered Shepard has a Cerberus clone. Clone stealing Normandy. Must hurry." Mordin explained calmly.

While he was talking, EDI forced the first door open with her omni-tool.

"I can explain later. For now." I hurried to catch up to my team. Traynor followed.

EDI tried her best to open the second door, but it made a denied noise.

"It's sealed!" I cursed. It must have been one hell of a seal if EDI couldn't even get through.

"Engines are online. They are preparing to take off!" EDI informed me.

"Is there anyone still aboard who can help us?" I asked Traynor.

"No. I was only there because I helped with the Normandy retrofit back on Earth. Everyone else is on shore leave."

I was now with Joker on the 'Shore Leave Sucks' boat.

"I need another way onto the ship, and I need it fast. If only we had a fish tank floor too."

Traynor walked around me and knelt. "There's an emergency exit hatch for evacuations. It should be right…here!" She pulled a panel up off the floor.

I activated my omni-tool. "Manual lock and it's only meant to be opened from the other side. Any ideas?"

"Extremely precise mass effect field manipulation required for trigger." Mordin told me. "Requires."

An odd noise cut him off and we both looked. Traynor was holding up her toothbrush.