Chapter 3: Chrysalis

"How does one become a butterfly? They have to want to learn to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

-Trina Paulus

I turned seven on the day Dino officially inherited the title of the Tenth Boss of the Cavallone. Naturally, my birthday was swept to the side and forgotten, even by myself as we were occupied with preparations for the ceremony. Even if I had noticed this, I wouldn't have minded. It was a special day and I was proud of my brother for coming this far, finally taking the mantel of boss. Despite still being under Reborn's tutelage, he had improved so much since the hitman had come (since our father had died).

I should had expected foul play, being the important day it was. But I suppose that fault fell on me in the end.

I had been caught up on the event, despite being kept from the guest until after the ceremony itself. I was excited to see my friends (if I could consider them that?) from the Varia, as there had been a lull in my communication lately due to obvious reasons (I nearly winced, thinking of Xanxus's state now, but there was honestly little I could do to stop that entire event, no matter how I thought about it). But even preoccupied, while making my way through the hallways to get to the front of the grand hall, where I was expected to stand near Dino as he received his title,

I still could tell I was being followed.

A breath, and my hand slid to my dress, where I kept my weapon. But they made their move first. I turned, shot once, and was rammed against a wall immediately, being small (so fucking small) and easily overpowered. Pain, white hot and blossoming, burned my shoulder as my arm was twisted back. My right hand held my gun, but it was barred against the wall by the man that held me. Another breath, and I used my heel to smash his foot, and in the moment his hold lightened, I tore my arm from the wall and shoved the gun beneath his chin.

I heard a snap, and I pulled the trigger,

And I didn't hesitate, pushing the man's body away before shooting at the other one, aim wavering and shaking due to the pain in my left shoulder, my left arm, hanging loosely by my side. Vaguely, I noticed him bleeding, but guessed this was from my first shot. I aimed again, but staggered back, sliding against the wall and turning to vomit,

And when I looked back up, he was gone, dribbling blood on the carpet in his wake.

Another breath, hot and heavy, and I dropped my gun to the side. I looked over at the over first man, and instantly regretted, cursing loudly and turning again to vomit, my one good arm weakly holding me up. I tenderly touched my shoulder, feeling a knife sticking from it, and again, a breath of curse, and a wave sickness, leaning completely against the wall once more, eyes shut tightly and breathing heavily as I tried not to notice the smell.

(it reeked, it stank, the amount of blood, the corpse next to me)

(was it the pain or the fact that I had blown someone's head off that made me react like this?)

Another breath, and I dared to open my eyes. Knowing to leave the knife where it was, I looked down to my arm, and once again felt sick. Clearly, it was broken, nearly snapped, with the bone sticking out from it.

(Vaguely, I wondered if the ceremony had started without me)

I began to yell, not from pain, but in the hope that someone would hear me. I did so until my voice became cracked and hoarse and black began edging my vision. Blood loss, I thought distantly, slumping further against the wall.

What's your name, I asked myself.

Cloud, I answered, but then corrected with my real name.

How old are you, I asked again.

Six, and then corrected, seven. Today is my birthday.

Squalo found me later, softly singing happy birthday to myself in different languages, a lucid act of defiance against unconsciousness.

"Brat! Voi, Cloud!" And I yelped, finding my voice again just to elaborate my pain as he picked me up. His eyes darkened further, seeing my arm, and taking in it's entire state. He picked me up with further care. We began to move.

"You better stay with me, brat," he seethed, venom lacing his voice. But even in the state I was in, distant and dreamlike, I knew it was not directed at me.

"Hey," I said weakly, getting his attention again, shifted and then wincing, "did you see that body back there, Squalo?" He frowned, his features unsure. Doubting. He answered:

"Yeah. Did you do that?"

"Yeah," I said, but it was weak. He jostled me, barely, but it was enough to keep me awake.

"You…" he was unsure, but continued, "you feel bad about it?"

"No," I said, my answer immediate, "He tried to hurt me…. Hey, Squalo," I called again, looking up at him even as he kicked opened a door and yelled out. I kept my eyes on him, and nearly panicked as he set me down on the floor, trying to stand and leave me.

Weakly, with my right, I grabbed his sleeve.

"Don't leave me," I nearly whimpered, shutting my eyes tight as my arm was moved upwards, and again, I yelled out. When I opened my eyes again, the silhouettes around me were blurry, and unrecognizable, but even then?

I knew Squalo was gone.

(Where was Dino at this time?)

(Was he safe?)

"Hey, Mama."

I was in the canyon again, dreaming. But it was different; it was growing. Literally, life had taken root. Gentle vines hugged the walls, and flowers were beginning to bloom. A small stream ran with clear water, with a promise of it becoming bigger. It was the same canyon, clearly. But it seemed like it had been given a chance.

I sat, feeling the start of grass underneath me, and held my knees to my chest. I spoke to the tree, just sapling now, forming just before the door. One day, I hoped that it would block it completely, but for now?

I would nurture it:

"Today was my birthday," I told it softly, "and I turned seven. Dino become the boss… I think?" I titled my head, unsure of this fact myself. I didn't know it the ceremony was completed, after all.

"I'm proud of him," I spoke to the dead, "Really, I am. He's improved so much. He's grown strong. And me?" I frowned, nearly ashamed, but thinking. I moved on:

"Are you proud of him too? I know you would be."

I received silence in return.

I woke up to my brother's voice:

"She too young to have killed someone."

"This is the mafia, Dino. It's hard to accept, but the minute she was born into this family, things like this were bound to happen. It's life," Reborn responded, his voice distinct.

"It's unfair!" I almost winced. "If Squalo hadn't noticed she wasn't there, then she could be... I didn't notice she was gone!" There was a sound of what I assumed was Dino falling into a chair. He sounded tired. I felt guilty.

"Why did…" his voice started off quietly, shame still lingering in it, "Why did you notice? That she wasn't there, Squalo?"

I merely stiffened, swelling with happiness.

(He hadn't left me after all)

I heard a click of a tongue. And he answered:

"Coincidences happen, Bronco. Just be fucking grateful I got there when I did."

A moment of tense silence. And then a sigh from Dino, almost sounding thankful.

"Well, she's here now. There's no need to dwell on 'could be's, Dino," Reborn spoke again, veering the conversation.

"You keep telling me that I'm going to be some great boss, Reborn. But how can I be a great boss if I almost let my own sister die?"

I sucked in a breath, neutralizing my reaction, feeling immense guilt at the situation I had put my brother in.

"You had no choice in this Dino. If you weren't the boss, then it would have been Cloud. Would you really want to put that on her?" There was silence. Then Dino spoke.

"I... don't want to be mafia boss... but I want to protect my family. Cloud, the Cavallone; they are my precious family. If they get hurt..." He trailed off. I heard footsteps walk closer to me. Something grabbed my right hand and squeezed it affectionately.

"So," Dino continued, "I decided, to make sure they don't get hurt, I will embrace my title." I could almost hear Reborn smirking.

"You've grown," the hitman stated, "but you've got a longs way to go, Pip-squeak Dino."

There was a sad chuckle from Dino. Hesitating, I opened my eyes, if barely.

I found Squalo looking at me, uncharacteristically quiet. In fact, I recalled, he hadn't said much during the conversation at all. My face contorted, giving him a pleading expression. His eyes flickered, and I assumed he was looking at Dino, who was on my right. I frowned, giving him another look. He nodded, if barely.

I mouthed a gentle thank you, and closed my eyes again.

I didn't think I was ready to talk to my brother just yet.

"So, you didn't tell him?" I asked Squalo once Dino and Reborn had left.

"Fuck no, you think he would take that well?" he answered with a sneer, "It was fucking obvious you did it, and he was pretty horrified seeing that fucking body … good job on that bastard, by the way," he said with a nodded, and I returned it with nonchalance – and then caught myself, frowning.

"He can't know that I was so…." I struggled for the word, "blasé?" I tried, then sighed.

"Listen, Brat," Squalo addressed gruffly, "you're fucking lucky, you know? Most of people aren't like this at such a young age, and have to form this kind of indifference to killing later on. We murder, we fucking kill and gut bastards; It's what we do, and it's about time your brother got used to it. He's a fucking boss now, isn't he?"

"He'll flip," I said with a sigh, wincing as I fell back on my pillows, "if he knows I don't regret killing that guy. I mean, the only reason I was vomiting was because of the pain. I'm seven, my body can't handle this shit!" Exasperated, I turned my head to Squalo, nose scrunched.

"I need to get stronger," I told him, and he rolled his eyes in response.

"No shit."

"Helpful," I tutted, turning my head back to the ceiling, then allowing my eyes to roam the room, taking in the many flowers and baskets I was sent.

"I'm not fucking training you, so don't think about asking, brat," Squalo warned, leaning back in his seat and putting his feet on my bed.

"Oh God no," I said, my expression turning mortified, "I value my life too much to even try training under you. That would kill me."

"Damn straight," he said with pride and a cold smirk.

"And besides," I explained, still in thought myself, "I don't think I'm a swordsman, do you? Like a legit one, like you–" and at this, his pride doubled once more, and he smirked again, nearly beaming at the compliment (but in a rather, gruff, Squalo-esque way, which was strange to witness)– "and I already have my guns, with Reborn helping me there."

"What's your plan then, brat?" Squalo asked with an air of morbid curiosity. I sighed once, knowing what I had to do, but by no means happy with it.

"Well," I said slowly, and then answered:

"I have to make a deal with the devil."

"You come to me, the moment after my student knocks himself out on the day of his quiz?" Reborn said, titling his fedora down, making an eerie shadow on his face.

"You know that you, technically, were the one to knock him out, right?" I said, holding one hand over my mouth as the other waved the smoke away, nearly wincing as I saw a charred and unconscious Dino on the floor.

"He chose the wrong answer," Reborn answered simply. Ah, I thought before speaking, they were doing math again.

"Right," I said flatly, "And you do realize your answer was very Godfather-like, right?"

"I am always aware of my actions and words," he said with a small smirk, "Now, what do you want?"

Blunt and to the point, something I appreciated, with how long I had to wait to ask this. I shifted before speaking again, my right hand going to hold my left shoulder, feeling my recently healed wound and arm. I spoke, confidently:

"I want to get stronger," I explained my resolve to Reborn, "So Dino won't worry about me. So I can protect my family. I want to learn how to fight." Reborn's eyes narrowed.

"You're a decent marksman."

"I know, but..." I trailed off, burrowing my brows and crossing my arms in frustration. Not frustration towards Reborn, but towards myself. "I know I can handle myself in long-rage, and I'll still work on that to get better, but I need to focus on covering my biggest weakest; hand to hand combat."

Reborn seemed thoughtful. Then he responded.

"I'm too busy teaching Dino to help you with something bigger than marksmanship," he stated callously.

I pouted.

"And that's not my area of expertise." My pout became more distinct, and I added puppy eyes to the mix.

"But..." My eyes narrowed, dropping the act and waiting.

"I do have a colleague who might be willing to teach you." I smiled triumphantly and pumped my arm.

"Hell yeah! Who is it?" I bent down closer to him, almost bouncing. He answered with a question, clearly pleased in doing so.

"Have you ever been to China, Cloud?"

"You're going where, Princess?"

"China," I responded, my eyes sweeping over the three of them once more before returning to my book, "I thought I was pretty clear on that."

"And the boss?" Romario asked cautiously, as if he already wasn't aware.

"Dino cannot," I said, shutting my book, "know about this. Look, Reborn's handling the transportation and other means, and I only have a week to learn Mandarin, and so far I only know the curses from Firefly–"

"What?"

"Moving on," I emphasized, "I'm only telling you guys in advance, because you will need to keep Dino from chasing after me, or god fucking forbid stopping me from leaving, because I am doing this," I nearly seethed, making sure to meet their eyes again, "and no one is stopping me, my over-protective, mother hen of a brother included."

"But, Princess," Ivan started cautiously, "Isn't this something you need to talk over with Boss?" I softened, seeing his concern.

"He wouldn't let me go if I ask, so I'm just not asking," I said calmly, rolling my shoulders a bit. "This... this is something I need to do on my own. I need to get stronger for Dino, and for you guys." I forced a smile, softening the amount of information I was dropping on them.

"I'm trusting you not to tell Dino this. Okay?"

A moment, and then Romario approached. I allowed him to take my hand, and gently, he kissed the top of it.

"We will respect your decision, Princess," he said gravely. Immediately, I was relieved, even more so when Ivan and Bono bowed behind him, giving me their word as well.

"Thank you," I said, formally and politely, before allowing a smile, soft and genuine, laughing a bit at them, "Really, guys. Thanks."

(They supported me)

(And I would grow for them)

It was almost fun, watching my phone light up and buzz so many times. Per Reborn's instructions, and my own common sense, I waited until we were minutes away from the plane taking off before answering my phone.

"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"

"Cloud! Where the hell are you?"

"Oooh," I whistled, pulling the phone away from my ear due to the sheer volume, "Cursing Dino," I teased, an attempt to keep the conversation light and cute, "You're really pissed, aren't you?"

A blanket statement, of course. He was seething. Even the woman next to me winced at the sheer anger radiating off of his voice, and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Where," he repeated, still angry, but his voice much, much more controlled now, "are you? I will start using your full name, so help me Ni-"

"On a plane to China. Ah, we're about to take off. Oh, and I won't be back for two years. Love you, Dino."

"CHINA!? WAIT, CLOU-"

With a small click, I snapped my phone shut. I took a breath, and turned it off completely, bare dread in the back of my mind, knowing I would be dead (metaphorically, of course, it wasn't like Dino was Squalo) when I returned.

But that would be two years from now.

"Family troubles?" the woman beside me ask, her English slow and paced. She beamed when I responded.

"Yes, but he will forgive me," I answered slowly, almost trying to convince myself. She nodded and patted my leg softly.

"Family always forgives," she told me. I smiled back, brightly. I looked at her again, this time taking in details.

"Do you speak Mandarin?" I asked hopefully, guessing vaguely at her ethnicity, seeing that she looked Asian. She brightened considerable at this, and nodded excitedly.

"Wonderful," I drawled, slowly, wincing at my pronunciation, "Would you mind helping me learn?"

Even though I knew never to underestimate him, I always found myself awed by the efficacy in which Reborn works. Best Hitman indeed, but he didn't need to hear that from me (he was already smug enough, the little bastard).

A man greeted me immediately upon exiting the airport, waiting to the side as I helped my new companion I had met on the plane into her son's car. He approached me after I had waved her off. He kept a respectable distance and introduced himself by bowing.

"Hello, Princess. I am here to escort you to him." It took me a few seconds to completely translate. I then nodded in reply.

"Thank you," I muttered, still obviously not comfortable speaking the language, despite having improved greatly on the plane. He began to walk away and I followed him to a small car. He motioned for me to hand him my bags. After he stowed them in the back seat, he opened the passenger door for me. I got in as he slipped into the driver's seat.

"We are going to take a train out west and then get in another car and drive to his location." He explained plainly while driving. I nodded, getting the gist of it. Train out west, car drive. Done. Journey's end.

(And another journey begins)

When we arrived at the station, another man was waiting for us. As we got out, he drove off with the car. My escort seemed to ignore this, and I mirrored this, taking no mind to it as well. Reborn had also bought tickets prior and I was handed a boarding ticket. During this lull, comfortable in the train as it began to move, I looked at my escort across from me, realizing I never got his name.

"What...is your name?" I struggled slightly, but regained confidence.

"Sun Wu," was his reply. "I am part of the Wuya family. We have been in an alliance with the Cavallone for a very long time."

I smiled when I translated it, already having guessed this. This was a fact I was glad to confirm.

"It is good to have friends," I said with self-assurance.

Sun Wu smiled again.

(such a natural looking expression on his face)

I enjoyed talking to Sun Wu greatly, and my confidence with Mandarin swelled with each topic we flipped through. He spoke his family and how he had a little sister as well (a pang of guilt ran through me as he said this). He said that I reminded him of her, and I told him about my family as well. He was helpful whenever I messed up, being patient and kind. Sun Wu corrected me and continued on naturally, aiding the flow of our conversation.

Soon, we exited the train where a colleague of Sun Wu was waiting for us with another car. We didn't talk much on the way there; I was much too preoccupied with the beautiful mountainous scenery. I only came back into reality when we veered off from pavement and onto a small dirt road. We stopped in front of a trail of stone steps. I looked up, dismayed and nearly dreading the fact I couldn't see the end of them. Sun Wu turned around to address me.

"Forgive me, Princess," He said, "But this as far as we were told to go." I nodded and got out with the little I had packed.

"I go up there?" I asked. He nodded. I paled, eyeing the stairs wearily, his confirmation killing the insane hope that I wouldn't have to climb the stairs.

"Good luck, Princess." I turned around to see Sun Wu smiling at me. I smiled back, but it was forced, and my eyes barely narrowed, hearing the humor in his voice.

"Thank you, Sun Wu," I answered back, the sweetness in my voice causing the man to chuckle.

They drove off and I turned to face the stairs, pouting. I sighed, taking a breath

and began my trek to the top.

Half way up, I pro-conned my situation. Pro of me stopping and going back:

I would not have to climb the rest of the stairs.

Cons:

Dino would kill me on spot if I returned now.

Reborn would revive me and kill me for not going through with this.

Squalo would get wind of me giving up, and kill me for a third time.

I blinked, nodded once, and continued onwards.

(Right, death by stairs rather than death by both Reborn and Squalo)

I reached the top, tired, but in a serene state, having entered this mindset a while back. A quaint scene greeted me; a small cottage, nestled right in the mountain side, traditional, and fitting of the landscape. I entered, the doors being open, and voiced my arrival. On the inside, the house was nice and orderly, with few, but obvious signs of someone living here. I moved through the house, before coming across another open door to the back;

The space was an obvious training area, with select wooden dummies, already looking worn and used, along with few weight racks, and other structures. But there was peace to this area too, the life of the mountain mingling with it. Plants and moss were scattered throughout the area, and a waterfall fell gently in the back of the small enclosure, the mountain itself protecting this picturesque ground. Vaguely, it felt spiritual, and I even saw a shrine tucked away in a corner.

In front of this shrine, a small figure knelt. Despite never having met him, I recognized the Arcobaleno Fon instantly.

I waited, patient, and watched as he sighed, his body moving with it, and then rose, almost in the same fluid movement. He turned, and opened his eyes, meeting mine.

Although his smile and features were calm, it was the moment I met his eyes that I realized why he was the storm Arcobaleno. They were confident, fierce, and demanded respect, cutting and strong and confident. And this was all controlled carefully in one placid blink.

"Nikita Cavallone," he addressed. I held back a frown and returned his bow, allowing him to continue.

"Are you ready to begin your training?"

"I apologize for using your name earlier."

"It's fine."

"I was unaware that you do not typically go by it," he said again.

"No, really," I puffed, wincing as I wobbled, then straightened, "It's fine, Master."

"I will use your nickname from now on," he promised with a kind smile, "but for now, we shall continue to work on your conditioning, Cloud. Your balance needs much improvement, after all," he said, jumping off my feet and landing in front of my face.

My body trembled, and my hand stand fell. I huffed, laying for a moment, allowing myself to relax before pushing myself up again.

"Right," I said, my smile obviously forced, "Conditioning."

Fon's smile remained pleasant and easy in opposition.

"You're doing wonderful so far," he complimented, and then brought his sleeve to hide the lower part of his face, "despite your total lack of grace."

My new master was nice, but he was the type to give many, many backhanded compliments. I debated briefly if this was worse than Reborn's blunt insults.

(Was anything worse than Reborn, though?)

"But we will improve on that soon enough," he moved on. "I will need you to be able to do cart wheels, and efficiently so. The first style you will learn will the basis for your flexibility, since you tend to have an affinity for evasion, which we will take advantage of. Seeing that you are young now, and have yet to build muscle, there isn't much sense in you learning more severe styles that depend on muscle and weight. We will," he clarified, offering this as a promise more than a demand, "build to this, however."

"And this first style?" I asked.

"Capoeira. It's a Brazilian martial art that uses quick and complex moves, mainly relying power, speed, and leverage for a wide variety of kicks, spins, and highly mobile techniques. Eventually, however, you will move away from this style and incorporate more," he admitted, glancing over me once more, "I doubt someone like you will stick with one, after all."

"Someone like me?" I asked, almost carefully.

"You are evasive both in movement and in personality, Cloud," he told me kindly, but then continued, "or to put it plainly: indecisive. Sporadic, perhaps being a better word?"

"…. Thanks, Master."

He smiled once more, titling his head innocently.

"You're very welcome."

"I will teach you Judo and joint locks next, along grappling techniques," Fon told me one night, weeks later as I prepared dinner. I smiled softly, throwing some vegetables to Lichi, my master's faithful animal companion, before adding more to our stir fry.

"Grappling?" I asked, barely turning my head as I stirred. A thought hit me, and I voiced it: "Will I learn some Muay Thai as well?"

"Yes, eventually. I doubt you'll pick up a style and stick to it strictly, no matter my opinion," he said dryly and I responded smoothly:

"Oh, but you teach me so many wonderful styles, I can't just choose one." He barely smirked, but masked it with another kind smile.

"Despite the fact that you're still growing, I doubt you will become that formidable, size wise–" and here, my hand barely twitched while stirring– "I can already tell that you'll be small. So, we'll work on you becoming compact, and being able to take down your opponents by throwing yourself at them, using surprise–

"Throwing myself?" I repeated, turning to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"That's where judo and grappling techniques will come in handy," he said with a nod, "and we've already discussed your knowledge on pressure points. You should continue to look in the medical field, by the way. It will no doubt come I handy in the future," and at this I nodded, turning back to our dinner.

"But this is all out long term goal. You are not at this level now, and we are still working on the basics. It will take a while to form the muscles necessary for this, after all, and you still have much work to do on stamina and flexibility."

"Right," I said with a sigh, and then nodded, confirmed, "slow build."

A calm silence fell, with only Lichi chittering on my shoulder, begging for another piece. I ignored the small monkey dutifully, but another thought entered my head.

"Hey, Master," I spoke carefully, "Do you have any family in Japan?"

Fon looked up at me quizzically. A moment passed.

"Why Japan?" I stiffened, and then resumed in my stirring. Curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I was hoping to find out if Hibari was really related to Fon, and if so, how the prefect was related to my master. I had been honestly been waiting to pop this question for a while, but decided to wait for my new master and I to become closer (and we had, over this time spent training). I blinked, trying to calmly think of excuse.

"You look Japanese."

(Pathetic)

His eyebrows collided.

"I'm Chinese." I shrugged, recovering.

"Just wondering in case I ever go over there and need connections..." I waited. He seemed to accept that, if barely. But Fon wasn't the type to question too much, as opposed to another Arcobaleno tutor.

"Yes."

I looked back at my master, surprised.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I have relatives in Japan." I gazed at him hopefully. He turned his attention back to his tea. I continued to stare at him, not giving up after having come so far with this.

"The dinner is burning," he noted, without even looking up.

"Fuck!" Fon frowned.

"Language, Cloud."

"Sorry."

I never thought I would fall into the stereotypical cliché of going to a hot spring, and yet, here I was, nurturing my sore body in the hot mineral water. Despite feeling slightly silly for falling into this trope, I did appreciate my master for giving me this day off. Our training had been nonstop since I have arrived, and this was my first full day of relaxation in… months? Had it really been that long?

Momentarily, I allowed myself to think of my family, back in Italy. I felt guilt once more, for leaving Dino, but quickly thought to others. Bel was displeased when I told him I would be gone for two years, so no doubt he was bored. Lussuria was dismayed as well, but I had to convince him that I did not need care packages sent to me. Squalo was the only once who seemed pleased by this, impressed that I had gotten an Arcobaleno to train me. I made quick note to write them soon, the first chance I could.

Other women sat around me, talking quietly among themselves. I shifted, looking down at my own body, silently proud of how much healthier looking it was now. It was slimmer, and far more toned, although it had nowhere near the amount of muscle I needed for the style we wanted to achieve (if we could even label it as a 'style'?). But, I reminded myself, allowing my body to slink against the warm stone, that would come eventually, with more work. I was proud of how far I had come.

Looking around again, I noticed that there was only one other lone women in the hot springs, standing up with her back towards me. My eyes narrowed when I saw the heart shaped tattoo on her lower back and the scorpion tattoo on her arm.

"Bianchi?" I blinked, realized I said that out loud and clapped my hand over my mouth. She whipped around, eyes narrowed. Her body relaxed when she had located me, and a coy smile played on her lips. She sauntered over to me, and I swear I could almost hear her theme music playing in the background. Casually, she sat beside me, eyeing the other women to make sure they didn't notice my outburst. I smiled up at her nervously, hoping to play this off.

"Who are you?" I decided that it was best not to lie to her.

"Cloud Cavallone, sister of the boss of the Cavallone Family."

"How do you know me?" This time I did lie, using the first thing that popped into my head, and hoping she would run with it.

"Reborn told me about you." It was almost terrifying how fast her mood changed, just at the casual mention of the hitman.

"Reborn?!" She grabbed my shoulders, a look of pure joy on her face. "You know where Reborn is?" I nodded awkwardly, not really knowing how to respond to her sudden change. When she continued to stare at me hopefully, I realized she was waiting for details.

"He's training my brother to be the 10th generation Cavallone Boss." Bianchi's features darkened, and I considered sending a quick prayer to my brother (we were Catholic, weren't we?).

"How dare he take-" her voice turned light and happy suddenly- "my dear Reborn away." Again, her tone switched, matching her threatening aura, "I'll just have to take care of that."

Her mood changed yet again and she smiled at me, nearly glowing. By this point, I was almost cowering, my back pressed against the wall.

(woman in love were beautiful, I thought vaguely, but terrifying)

"Thank you for this information, Cloud." She patted my head and got out of the water, sauntering away once. I blinked and cocked my head, calming again when she was gone.

"I think I just unleashed Bianchi on my brother," I whispered to myself, contemplating it. I shrugged, dismissing the thought. "He can handle himself," I assured myself, but then wavered, doubting once more.

"... I think."

"Master?" I peeked inside the house. Fon looked up from the small table, where he sat with Lichi on his head. He placed his tea down and followed me to the training grounds.

"I'm sorry," I said, gesturing at the splintered and many pieces of the woods, littering the ground where the training dummy once stood, "but it fell against my kick…"

I was unsure if my master held sentimental value with this piece of equipment, but clearly it was old. Perhaps even old enough for him to have used before he was cursed. But he surprised me, gentle laughter coming behind his sleeve as he covered the lower part of his face.

"There is no need to apologize, Cloud," he said as he let the sleeve fall, revealing a soft smile (as always), "Celebrate this as show of the strength you have gained in the year you have been here. But, although you have improved," he continued, giving me a light, but still stern look, and here I continued for him:

"I still have a long ways to go."

(I would grow strong, I told myself, repeatedly, almost as a mantra. But for myself?)

(For them)

Sashasrara: Chakra of Pure Conciousness

"Just relax, Cloud." I sighed and straightened my posture. I took a deep breath in and tried to clear my mind.

"This isn't working." I finalized after about 30 seconds. I opened my eyes to find Fon staring at me, clearly disappointed. He masked this however, with a calm smile.

"You aren't trying hard enough," Fon gently chided, "Clear your mind."

"That's the part where I'm having trouble," I admitted, "There's just… too much." I shrugged, a bit dejected. Fon looked at me, concerned.

"What's troubling you, Cloud?" I hesitated.

"I just... feel like I have a lot on me." I almost laughed at myself. I know I shouldn't be complaining, since I did put all this pressure on myself, but I've changed since I first came into this world. I've lost. I've gained. I have lived and now have come to the point where I no longer consider any of this as a story. At yet, did that mean I had an obligation to help others, with the knowledge I had? I have a resolve and I'm going to see it through. Growing stronger and protecting my people. But did that have anything to do with the 'plot'?

My master gazed at me thoughtfully, allowing me the time I needed to sort myself.

"Cloud?" he started, "It's unwise to keep things bottled up inside. Do you want to talk about it?" I smiled at him, and shook my head, despite being grateful for the kind offer.

"No, not now. Now isn't the right time," I explained, bringing my knees up to hug them. "Besides," I chuckled, "You wouldn't believe my entire story anyway."

Then again, would anybody? Would anybody take me seriously if I told them I chose to be reborn into a world that was fictional in my own. Certainly, nobody would believe me... except for him. And when I thought more about it, him too (although I like the first option much better, Option B was much more plausible and achievable sooner).

I hesitated, then allowed a smile, returning to the meditation lesson in front of the water fall.

"Even though we didn't talk about, Master, I feel much better now. I think I can give this another try." He smiled up at me and returned to his own meditation.

I took a deep breath once again. I thought of the future ahead and possibly the only two people who would believe my story.

I smiled. I was finally somewhat at peace.

(and until I could come across them?)

(Plot or not, I would simply live)

Located at the very top of the head, Sashasrara is the ckakra of pure consciousness. It involves wisdom and the death of the body and deal with meditation, mental action with universal consciousness, unity, and emotional action with "beingness". Emotional issues that deal with this chakra are inner and outer beauty, our connection to spirituality and pure bliss.

Ajna: Third Eye Chakra

I was lost. This, I could admit to myself easily. Especially considering the amount of time had passed.

Master decided earlier in the day that we should take an endurance hike. That I could do (by this point, I was adept with the amount of movement my master required from me daily). Yet, when Fon suggested we take a break, of course, things went in the wrong direction. Specifically, for me. He had assured me that I was allowed to rest my eyes and take a brief nap.

I should have never trusted him, and now was paying for that lapse in judgment.

I waited for a while, naively. Then, I accepted the conclusion I had came to long ago;

I was being tested.

(Hooray)

I sighed and laid back, allowing a small groan before pushing myself up to my feet in one swift movement. If we came up, I thought to myself, starting down the path, then I was going down.

Trouble found me sooner than I thought it would, and was much cuter than I expected.

A giant panda, interrupted in the middle of their meal, stared blankly at me as I came into the clearing. Immediately, I froze. Although cute, it was a wild animal, and a large one. And I may had just pissed it off, seeing as it shifted, and came lumbering towards me.

I hissed out a small curse as I straightened, staying still besides that small movement as the animal approached.

I remained rigid, but calm as its head came towards me,

And huffed, shifted my hairs with its breath. Barely, it leaned in, and our noses nearly touched. Again it huffed, as if it has found itself satisfied by the interaction. The giant panda looked back once more at me,

And then, they were gone. I allowed a moment of silence.

"Cute," I breathed out, blushing slightly, and still slightly awed by the interaction. I moved my hand away from my gun and continued, guessing again at the many forks in the path.

"Oh thank fucking God," I sighed in relief upon spying my master waiting calmly at the start of the path. He frowned, but allowed me my curse for the moment. He sighed, and then put a smile on his face.

"I am proud of you, Cloud," he addressed me, "You've proven your intuition by being able to return. Although I should have figured it would have been simple for you memorize the path we took to the resting spot."

He beamed up at me, clearly proud, and I returned, smiling back at my master.

(I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had guessed my way back down, and it was pure luck that I ended up here)

Ajna is located at the forehead, between the eyes (also called brow chakra) and its key issues involve balancing the higher and lower selves and trusting inner guidance. It is the access of intuition and it emotionally and mentally deals with visual consciousness, clarity on an intuitive level, imagination, wisdom and the ability to think and make decisions.

Vishuddha: Throat Chakra

I dreamed a familiar scene, finding myself once again my mother's deathbed. A girl, distinct familiar, but who's identity was lost to me, as if discarded and then shattered when it had been thrown to the side, sat on the opposite side, face smug and sneering.

"You could have saved her, you know," she told me again. And I sighed and responded:

"I know."

"You could have started your training earlier. Could have saved Dino the grief of you almost dying."

"I know."

"You could have just not pressed that button, to not leave your real family behind. You could have just died when you fell."

My response clung to my throat, and my mouth gaped, unsure. Something clicked in that sentence, and for the first time, this dream did not repeat as usual.

"I… the Cavallone is my family," I said quietly, looking away from my dead mother's face and to the girl. She recovered from her shock easily.

"You're kidding, right? You're a fake. They're just characters you chose to be with–"

"They're family," I snapped coldly, "and what the fuck does that make you then, huh?"

"What are you?" she turned the question, sneering once more, "Just a pathetic little girl who stupidly chose to be reborn. And without even dying, just cheating out of a perfectly good life."

I was silent at this, but not due to defeat; recognition hit me, vaguely at first, but then it swelled.

"You're me," I realized, but then corrected, "you're who I used to be…" I trailed, struggling for a name.

"Oh please," she said coldly, "as if we're separate people. As if you've changed." She leaned back, with arms crossed and looked down at me, clearly expecting anger at her statement.

Instead, still kneeling, I spoke coldly.

"Ghosts don't change," I told her frowning, "and that's all you are, right? A ghost? A dream? An apparition, and embodiment of my regret?"

The earlier anger she had been looking in me flared in her instead.

"How dare you," she seethed, "You think you've changed? You're still the same, you're still –

"I," I cut her off, confident and clear of mind now, "am Nikita Cavallone. I am Cloud, as my brother nicknamed me, and accurately so. And you're nothing to me, not anymore. I regret everything, but that doesn't mean that I can allow it to affect me now."

She, the older version of me, shook with anger, but I, even kneeling, held strong in my resolution.

"This is my dream," I told her, completely calm and collected, "and this is my mind. And in this room? Near my mother's deathbed? There's no place for you," I told her stiffly.

"Shatter."

And in that moment, she did, glimpses of her face looking tormented before it fell to crystals. I took a breath,

And then collapsed, leaning against the bed, still kneeling, still grieving.

I looked to my mother's corpse, and weakly I lifted my hands.

I closed her eyes, gently.

I woke with a violent start, breathing heavy and wretched, my hand at my throat.

I cried.

This chakra relates to communication, self-expression of feelings and the truth. Emotionally, it governs independence and mentally governs fluent thought. Spiritually, it governs a sense of security and it is an important role in dream yoga; the art of lucid dreaming.

Anahata: Heart Chakra

Dear Prince Belphegor,

Don't get too conceited about the title, my Master just insisted that I was to be formal.

Okay, he walked away, so fuck that. I know you must be hella bored without me, with only Mammon to keep you company, so I swear I'll make it up to when I get back, okay? I hesitate to say this, because I value my life and sanity, but we'll do whatever you want, deal? Please do not hold me to this. Reminder that I have had little contact with others for nearly two years, and therefore I am a little desperate for contact with someone else my age, or at least around it. We're kind of stuck with each other, aren't we? As in, I doubt anybody else could stand "playing" with you for more than five minutes, max. A pro to my semi-solitude, or at least my quarantine from friends, I have attached a list of pranks I thought of to pull on Levi. The ones underlined are ones that you'll have to wait on until I get back (because dammit if I'm going to miss witnessing some of those), and believe me, with what I learned here, it is not an empty threat for me to say that there will be consequences if you do any of them before then. And considering that some result in the torment of more than just Levi, let's just keep this list and the fact that I was the one who compiled it a secret from Squalo, okay? I value my life, and I would not like it to end as soon as I return.

Hopefully, see you soon, your highness.

Sincerely,

Cloud

Dear Lussuria,

After writing to Bel, I realized that once you find out that he got a letter from me, you would want one too. Also, that if I did not write you one, I would never hear the end of it. So, here's a rundown on what's happening in my life:

I went to China to train, and it's going pretty well? Actually, I may be interested in a spar with you when I get back, just to test myself against a pro like yourself. Please go easy on me, but don't because I actually want to see where I'm at?

Dino may or may not kill me for leaving without telling him?

My master is kind of an asshole, but a nice one? Better than Reborn, but to be safe, blot this out with thick ink and burn this letter so that the Demon Tutor will never had evidence that I said this.

Also, unrelated, If Bel just so happens to become more active after you guys getting my letters, know that I had nothing to do with it. Please express this clearly to Squalo. Please.

I should be returning soon, and I genuinely can't wait to see you again. You think you can teach me how to braid? I want to know more ways to keep my hair out of my face than just a bun and a ponytail.

Sincerely,

Cloud

Dear Leviathan,

Hey Buddy. Pal. Just wanted to let you know that I got wind of Bel planning some very elaborate and creative pranks against you. Out of the goodness of my heart, I wanted to warn you beforehand.

Also, I thought it would be fun to see you try to avoid them, and utterly fail in the end.

Paranoia, am I right?

Sincerely,

Cloud

Dear Squalo,

Honestly, I'm writing this only because my Master thought it would be rude to leave you out. I know you value direct, face to face communication more, but I might as well let you know my training is going well. I'm not dead, so that's great.

Also, if Bel starts some shit, know that it had nothing to do with me, how could I possibly have influenced him in any way, with me being all the way in China? And if you find anything resembling a list in my handwriting, know that Bel is very talented in forgery.

We both know that I entirely innocent, right?

Right.

- Cloud

P.S. Do me a favor and deliver this note attached to your letter? Thanks.

Xanxus:

Hang in there. Please.

(and I'm sorry)

"Isn't there another member?" my master asked, seeing me add the note before sealing Squalo's envelope. I glanced over, blinking, confused momentarily.

"Oh, you mean Mammon?" I clarified. I shook my head, confusing him further:

"Not going to risk it," I explained, "I feel like if I wrote to them, they would somehow find a way to charge me."

"… you're writing to your family next, yes?"

Dear Romario,

Hope you aren't too busy cleaning up the mess I left behind (namely: Dino). I just want to let you know that I really love all you guys. Really, I appreciate everything you do for both me and my brother. You've always been a sort of father figure to me, you know? I say sort of only because I know I can boss you around. I have that authority over you, right?

Anyways, thanks for stopping Dino from flying to China to come and drag me back (We all know he would have done that if someone hadn't literally held him back, so I thank you for the sacrifice, and I'm also interested to know how many men it took? Also, did Reborn get it on camera like he told me he would?). I'll be returning in couple months from now, and I will notify you when I have more details.

Love,

Cloud

Dear Ivan and Bono,

Update: my training is going well, and I have been well protected under my master. So rest assured that nothing has happened to me while you two were not at my side. I will admit, I do miss you guys. I hadn't realized how used I had become to both of your presence's until I felt your absence's.

Sappy, isn't it?

I'm assuming you two were a part of the front lines when it came to stopping Dino from coming after me, so I'll go ahead and thank you for that. And everything else, for years to come. Expect me back soon.

Love,

Cloud

Dear Reborn,

You told me Fon was nice, right? Do you make a habit of lying directly to little girl's faces, or was that just you being an asshole, like usual?

-Cloud

Truthfully, I hesitated before I began writing the last letter. Fon glanced up at me from across the table.

"What's wrong, Cloud?"

"I... don't want to face him yet," I mumbled grudgingly. Fon smiled reassuringly at me.

"You're going to have to face him sometime, Cloud. And it's only just a letter." I nodded seeing logic in his words.

I swirled my pen, making light marks on the paper, smiling when I realized that, vaguely, they looked like clouds.

I started.

Dear Dino,

First off, I would like to state: PLEASE DO NOT MURDER ME WHEN I GET BACK. I value my life, thank you very much. Second, I am sorry. Really, I am. I know I shouldn't have just left without telling you anything, but, really, I had no choice. If you knew beforehand, you would have stopped me. No talking, no negotiating, you would have just stopped me and kept me locked away. Don't deny it, Dino.

You are not my parent. You are not our mother, and in no way are you our father, and don't you dare think for a second you are anything like that man. So, stop acting like you are. You're my brother. Yes, that means you can protect me, but that does not mean you can stop me from what I need to do. And I needed to do this. It was obvious that I needed to get stronger. For my family, for my friends, for you. But you need to understand that I'm not just some innocent little girl that can easily get hurt. I can take care of myself. Of course, this doesn't mean you have to back off completely. You can still care about me, and I'll never stop caring about you or the family, making this two year absence even more important.

Now, I can confidently say I am stronger (Thanks to my master, the Arcobaleno Fon, if Reborn hasn't told you). Not incredibly strong, but we will not have a repeat of what happened last time at least.

But, Dino, thank you for being there for me, whenever I needed you. Thanks for being a wonderful brother.

You are going to make a wonderful boss. Trust me.

(you already are one)

Your adorable, lovable, sister who will be returning to you soon so please don't kill me and remember how much you love me,

Cloud

Dear Mama,

I still miss you, and I hope that I always will. I'm becoming stronger. For you, for Romario, for Ivan, for Bono, for Bel, for Squalo, for Lussuria, for Dino, for all those who I love and are important to me. I want to become strong for my family, not for me. Never for me. Because I don't deserve to become stronger for myself.

I hope it isn't a lie when I promise that I'll always remember our secret, our lullaby, our precious memories. I hope it isn't a lie when I say I still love you and that I always will. I know it isn't a lie when I say that I miss you.

Fon is the father figure that Papa would never be to me. Dino is the brother that I don't deserve for forgetting the first. Squalo's the strange brother figure that I didn't expect to have, and maybe Bel's the friend that I actually deserve. You are the mother that I never understood, but still accepted the love you gave me that may have been just for your own gain. I miss you. I love you, at least for now.

Love,

Cloud

Key issues of Anahata involve complex emotions, compassion, tenderness, unconditional love, equilibrium rejection and well-being. It physically governs circulation, emotionally governs love for self and others, mentally governs passion and spiritually governs devotion.

Manipura: Solar Plexus Chakra

I fell to the ground, panting with exhaustion.

"Can you continue, Princess?" Sun Wu glanced at me warily. I nodded, not bothering to waste my breath. Fon frowned from the sidelines.

"You shouldn't push yourself, Cloud. You should stop for today."I shakily pushed myself to my feet and shook my head.

"I'm not good enough... I have to become stronger for them," I panted, "I'm not good enough yet." I readied myself and nodded towards Sun Wu. He frowned, but still attacked me. I bridged back to dodge his kick and cartwheeled to safety, returning my own kick. Unfortunately that was blocked by another kick courtesy of Sun Wu. My muscles strained on impact and I faltered, which ended the fight with me on the ground, again. I grimaced as I attempted to push myself up once more.

"One more time," I wheezed, almost desperate. Fon looked at me sadly and then turned towards Sun Wu.

"She's pushing herself too hard. Knock her out."My eyes widened.

"Wait, I'm not done ye-" ignoring my pleas, Sun Wu was behind me in a flash and hit the back of my neck. I went out like a light.

When I woke up, hours later, nothing had changed. I looked down at my open palms and clenched them into fists.

I was still weak.

The location of this chakra is the upper abdomen in the stomach are. Emotional issues are self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem. Key issues are personal power, fear, anxiety, opinion formation, introversion and transition from simple or base emotions to complex. It governs digestion physically, personal power mentally, expansiveness emotionally, and all matters of growth spiritually.

Swadhisthana: Sacral Chakra

My master looked at me, clearly worried, but curious. Knowing.

"Do you love yourself, Cloud?" he asked carefully. I considered, and I shrugged, rather dully.

"I love my family," I answered instead.

Swadhisthana deals with relationships, violence, addictions, basic emotional need, pleasure, sense of abundance, well-being and sexuality. Physically, it governs reproduction, spiritually governs enthusiasm, mentally governs creativity, and emotionally governs joy. It is located in the lower abdomen.

Muladhara: Root Chakra

As soon as the arrow embedded itself in the tree behind me, I bolted, deeming the my position unsafe. I ducked, narrowly avoiding a fist, and swinging around, I delivered a kick and cart wheeled away from my second opponent's attack. Keeping rhythm, I smoothly dodged her attacks until I saw an opening in her stomach, and sent my body weight into my kick, effectively taking her out. I wasted no time moving on, knowing more were behind them. I nimbly scampered up into the nearest tree once I thought I had come into a safer area. I leaned on the tree trunk, sitting on my branch, allowing myself to catch my breath.

My final test: survival. At least, I had to survive an onslaught of opponents until I found Lichi, who was proving hard as fuck to find. Meanwhile, while I'm looking for the small mammal, the Wuya family was hunting me, with full killing intent.

(Hooray)

And yet, with all this going on, I remained calm, and ever evading. A great skill, my master often said, to remain calm and focused, or at least causal about such situations as opposed to allowing things to get to me.

I stiffened, alert when I heard the slightest sound.

I stared at Lichi, the small monkey jumping from the leaves and onto my branch.

He blinked at me, and titled his head cutely. I shifted slightly, and pounced. He pounced away, and in the end I was tackled by a Wuya member before I could grab the little bastard.

We hit the ground hard, but luckily, I had enough sense when we were in the air to turn to where the poor guy took most of the blow. Efficiently, I knocked him unconscious and moved back, another arrow barely missing me.

I scowled, searching the tree line once more, my hand absentmindedly going to my hip. That archer was annoying. Of course, if I had my guns, I could take care of that, but Fon put a 'no weapons, only martial arts for Cloud' rule. So, on I ran.

This went on for about two more hours, much to my ever-growing annoyance. I had taken down about 40 Wuyas and had seen Lichi about 3 times. Bastard kept leaping away from me when I tried to get near him. I ran into a clearing only to stop dead in my tracks.

Sun Wu was there, waiting for me.

I had the decency to curse out loud, a fact with greatly amused that man. He was a master martial artist and I had not won a single one of our spars.

He smiled at me. I smiled at him, nodded politely, and quickly and promptly ran away. Not wasting time to look back to see if he followed, I focused on escape, knowing to choose my battles wisely, and to wisely choose not to fight him.

After I secured a proper resting spot, and made sure I was not in danger of being skewered via arrow, and beat down via Sun Wu, I opened my bag and produced an apple. I was about to take a bite when I saw Lichi again, blatantly staring at the fruit in my hand.

Moving it slightly, and confirming that his eyes followed, I slowly stretched it towards him.

Of course, Lichi would be hungry, I berated myself as I began the slow process of baiting him. He's been out here as long as me and it's not like there's an abundance of food in this forest that he likes. Not to mention, he favored apples (and any junk food, but that a secret that my master did not need to know).

"You want this?" I cooed, relaxing my body and hoping to appear nonthreatening. He eyed me suspiciously, and then hesitantly nodded. He slowly made his way towards the apple, and as he did this, I drew the apple nearer to me until the monkey was in arm's reach. I slowly snaked my other hand towards him, making sure I didn't startle him. The calmness I had come to grow used to was present throughout this whole encounter. Soon, I was walking back, cradling the small apple nibbling mammal in my arms; secure enough that he would be able to jump out easily, but loose enough not to suffocate him.

Fon and Sun Wu met me half way.

Fon smiled, such a familiar and endearing image after all this time.

"Good job, Cloud," he congratulated me, "After 2 years of training, you are ready to leave my side for the time being." Sun Wu beamed at me besides my master.

"Of course," Fon continued, "Your training is not complete yet, so I expect you to be back a couple months a year for training."

I nodding agreeing with him fully and swelling with pride and anticipation.

After two years in China, I was going home.

At the base of the spine is the location of the root chakra which is related to instinct, security, survival and basic human potentiality. It governs sensuality physically, a sense of security spiritually, and has a relation to the sense of smell. This chakra represents our foundation and feeling of being grounded.

Side Story: The Night Has Come

I had almost forgotten about our lullaby. Almost. And what a strange word that is. Somewhere in between, somewhat gone, yet not yet escaped. A memory. A melody. A part of my past that maybe I was trying to forget. Perhaps I put maybe in that assumption to make myself feel less guilty for trying to suppress memories of her, for trying to forget fading memories of them. Perhaps it was guilt that pushed me to try to fully remember and fully grasp my lullaby hat she used to sing to me when I was young and we were alone. Only then, only when we were alone did she even dare to hum the melody.

The unfamiliar words would wash over me and lull me into serenity, with meanings and sounds I could not grasp, but appreciated to the point where I didn't have to. The song, my lullaby, our lullaby, was embedded into my memory to the point where I recognized the notes. The words, however, evaded me. They were a distant mumble that I never understood. But, for now, with the resources I had, the notes would do me for now.

I grew frustrated as I searched the piano (something I that had been a piece of decoration more than anything in the manor, and brought back memories of Papa, which I didn't want or need at this time) for the exact keys, the exact notes of our lullaby. It was a challenge – no, a dire need to remember this. At times like these, when I actually allowed myself to remember these things, I knew I had to hold on to it before I grew stubborn again and let it go.

It took hours, which seemed like days, but I eventually found all the notes. I memorized it. I played it. I repeated and repeated until my hands hurt from playing, and my body hurt from sitting. I embedded these notes and these movements so that I would never forget them.

I fell asleep at that piano, that piece of decoration, that night, content, fulfilled, and for a short time happy that I had actually allowed myself to indulge in this memory of Mama, and I had actually allowed myself not to let it go.

AN:

I almost split this chapter up, but I decided to get the training arc over in one go. Besides, the two years are pretty distinct and separate. And again, I included the side story, needing to put it in somewhere.

This time around I really want to focus on Cloud's dumbass tendency to sacrifice herself for others, something that she isn't really aware of, nor wants to confront. At the moment, she's lying to herself, and telling herself that she is living, but really, at this point, she's living for others, and not herself. She's waiting. Even her relationship with Bel can be simplified by her wanting to give him a good friendship, for his sake and not hers.

Again, sorry it there are errors, I will fix then later when I'm not as tired. Or dying (Death by gay ice skaters; I want that on my tombstone)

Also: I posted a little draw the squad meme thing on the tumblr blog she-has-her-fathers-eyes. Well, technically, there are two, both including Cloud. Go check it out if you want!