So, my 2 year old spilled a huge cup of water on my laptop, and despite all my efforts, it broke. So I got my taxes and bought a new one, and to my amazement my files were still there. Thank goodness for email and how things save to it etc. Sorry for the long amount of time in between. When I read the last chapter about the family I was like, frick, where was I going with that... so happy that my files saved. Still gotta remember all the details. Anyway, ffx is not mine, rated something like T, Seymour x Yuna, spoilers... =)
He looks at me puzzled, mostly cause 90% of us stopping was me.
"Who came to visit you?"
"My uncle and cousin." He has…? Why does he always say so little? Why does he make me ask?
"I didn't know you had…"
"Any living family?" Yeah… Hey! You don't have to say it like that. "I know. My father and his brother weren't close, but I spent some time with them when I was young. I try to catch up with them when I can." I almost feel like I sense sadness in his voice, though his explanation was simple enough.
"Was it a good visit?" He smiles at me then,
"Yes, it was very good." His smile seems to reach his eyes, something I didn't really know was rare until seeing it now. The city is almost all the way dark now, but his face is illuminated from some distant lamp. We're not far from the manor, funny how I know that. "Let's go get dinner, it's much overdue." He says and takes my hand again, but a picture of that smile stays in my mind. Is that what he looks like when he's happy, really happy, not just being courteous and professional and… conniving? Speaking of dinner, I am starving. There is a table set up in the dining room of the manor when we arrive, and we both eat hastily. I feel like I could eat a whole Behemoth!
After we eat, we have some herbal tea and sit in front of the window. I look out over the city, feeling the breeze as it becomes chillier, and seeing the lights of the lamps of all the houses. It's picturesque, perfect, I almost want to paint it…
For a few minutes, I picture what it would be like, to live in a different life…
Being a Maester's wife, living in a manor, having delicious food made for me everyday, having him as a husband… Waking up with him everyday, going to meetings with him, enjoying all the best company Spira has to offer, being able to shop to my heart's content, living on these blue blue waters and in these golden buildings… having tea with him, sitting in comfortable silence, knowing that tomorrow will be the same. 'How was your day honey?'
'Funds are down 27%, but we have a 6-week plan to restore and grow them again,' he says as he slings a suit jacket over the chair. 'How's my lovely wife?' he asks as he reaches for me, puts his arms around my waist, and kisses me, smiling.
'Wonderful, I lead a meeting of young Priestesses today, some of them are even interested in becoming Summoners!' 'I hope not, last time someone showed an interest you took on an apprentice and I had to kiss a pillow for weeks!' We laugh together, it's a stupid joke but it's not stupid to us and that's all that matters because, We are the only two people in the world right now, standing in this room, with his arms around me, looking out over the colorful city, illuminated by the sun. 'We've got the rest of our lives to be together,' I say, not finishing with how we should train as many Summoners as we can, just letting it be a happy statement. 'I intend to enjoy every minute,' he says, nuzzling my neck as I giggle, and then he kisses, soft at first and then harder, and I melt into him. "Yuna?" He says, really, in reality. I jump a little. "Sorry, I was… daydreaming." He smirks a little. "Tell me more about your uncle and cousin."
"Well, my uncle's name is Marn, and his son's name is Ren. They would babysit me when my parents had to do business or… hide. No one accepted us, remember. Uncle Marn and Ren weren't that much better, but they were still better." Again it's almost like he's talking about someone else's life…
"Wasn't that hard?" He looks at me, simply… not smirking, or furrowing his eyebrows, looks at me almost as if to ask something… and then looks out the window again.
"Of course it was." His alto voice is a harsh whisper now. He looks back at me, significantly more sternly, "What of it?" I almost want to be mad, because, why does it seem like he's mad at me? I'm being nice. "Nothing, I… I just want to know more about you, I just… care." I look at my lap… and when I look up again he's looking at me, softened again. He puts one hand over my hand, gently, and looks at them for a moment. We both look out the window again. We're looking out the window together, like in my daydream, only it's nighttime, and it's sad. That's real life… it's not always sunny and colorful and giggly. "No one accepted us. Things weren't always the way they are now. Now, I have the best of both worlds, I am a leader and role model to both human and Guado, but when I was a child, it was just the opposite. I wasn't Guado enough for the Guado and I wasn't human enough for the humans. They were… awful." I squeezed his hand with both of mine.
"The worst part was… my parents were ok, one human one Guado, and could've separated never to be judged, until they had me. And then, even though they weren't mixed, they were treated like they were, because of me."
"Seymour, it's not your fault," the words come pouring out of me, "they loved you, and they loved each other, they wanted to have a family, it was wrong of the others to be mean to you…" He turns to look at me.
"…Thank you. I don't hear that a lot." We sat there like that for a while, just holding hands and looking out at the stars, and their twins, the lamps in the buildings. There were so many things I wanted to say still, about his family, his feelings, training, Tidus… for some reason I feel like I should tell him, but I stayed silent, choosing to enjoy the moment and not to risk ruining it. We stayed like that for I don't know how long, an hour? And kissed and went to bed… separate beds. The next couple days were almost exactly the same; class, training, dinner with Seymour, class, training, dinner… I'm starting to fall into a routine. Last night, I actually did homework after dinner, and he helped me… just a little. But tonight…
"So, how has training been going?"
"Great, it's such a privilege to be here in Bevelle, learning under the best."
"You always say it's great…"
"It is great," it is, it's great… ok now that word sounds funny. "Is everything okay?" Of course, why wouldn't it be?
"Well… I've been thinking about what you said, about people being evil, sometimes… I chose to be a Summoner, I chose to train to kill Sin, but then I realized that everyone who made another choice, to be a Guardian or a Crusader or a Warrior Monk, chose their path to kill fiends, but also people, if it comes down to it. I never made that choice, never had to, but now training just feels different I suppose." "Yuna…" He put two heavy-sleeved arms around me. It almost felt suffocating, but not quite. "The world can be ugly, yes, and you chose a more peaceful path, yes, but that doesn't mean you're ignoring the ugliness, or that you're any less strong than those who chose another path. Choosing peace, choosing to see the good in someone is hard, sometimes it's easier to let people like you decide if there is or isn't good in someone and if not then just hack them down," ouch. "Sometimes it's hard to be a warrior and step in front of you when you want to save someone who is only going to be destructive. Those are our lots, one's difficulty doesn't invalidate another's." That did make me feel a little better, somehow. I lean back into his arms, which feel comforting now. I remember his words, Let me be your pillar of strength. He must have felt me lean into him, "Relax, with me, you're home now, not out there trying to see and do good, now is my time to watch, and your time to relax." I did, take a deep breath then, and feel some peace in that moment.
And then I turned a little to look at him,
"Seymour, if you do see good in someone, you'll hesitate, right?"
"Of course, Yuna." We look in each other's eyes a moment, and then, "I've seen a lot of people, Yuna. Barthus… I knew his type, I met him long before you did. Trust me." I want to. Do I really have a choice?
I feel good, though. I want to trust him, want to believe him, want to take comfort in his words… so, why not? If there's something that can make me feel good, in this so often miserable world, shouldn't I take it?
So I do. I go to sleep happy and wake up happy the next morning, and take my schooling in stride. I power through training, even learning a new white magic spell, have dinner with him and go to sleep happy again.
The next day, though I wake up happy, something bad happens. Sir Hiran Ronso has "dropped out" of the program.