I've rewritten this chapter about five different times, and was not happy with them, but I've decided I cannot obsess over it anymore. Please read and review.
Also, Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate it.
"I've got to go, Damon," Caroline said, almost exasperated. Damon had been following her around for almost an hour, trying to get her to stay another night. "I've got to open up shop tomorrow morning at eight am. I don't want to have to get up at five to get there in time."
"Then let me come stay with you," Damon said. "I want to spend more time with you, and I think that it'd be a nice break for me. I've been working to damn hard, anyways."
"Damon, you don't have a bartender."
Caroline was pretty sure that she saw a pout forming on his lips, "You're right. I don't."
"If I can interrupt," a voice said behind them, "I can tend bar pretty damn well."
Caroline turned around to see Kol Mikaelson. She smiled, "What the hell are you doing here, Kol?"
"That's a nice way to greet your favorite brother," Kol said with a smirk.
Caroline laughed, "No, seriously, what are you doing here?"
He shrugged, "I had some free time, so I came to see you. I haven't seen you in a few days."
"Got fired again, huh?" Caroline asked sympathetically.
"You act like I get fired every other week. I just haven't found my calling yet," he said, looking at Caroline, then Damon. "But it sounds like you have a problem, and I'd like to help."
"Can you tend bar?" Damon asked. Kol nodded.
"Let me show you what I can do," Kol said, jumping behind the bar.
For a good part of the next hour, Damon was drilling Kol on how to mix drinks and so forth, to see what he could do. A few customers even came in and Damon let Kol tend to them. Caroline sat at a table across from the bar and watched Damon drill her brother.
"You know, my brother just saved you," Caroline said to Damon once he was sitting beside her.
He nodded, "Yeah, I know. So, how about you let me come stay with you? I don't have an obligation to be here to tend the bar."
"Honestly, I'm surprised that Kol's never been a bartender before. He's been mixing drinks since he was legal." Caroline was dodging, and she knew it. This was the second time Damon had asked if he could come stay with her, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to share her space with him. She liked the fact that she didn't have to share her space with anybody, and, even though she and Damon hadn't technically been together for very long, she felt some kind of connection with him. She liked him. It was comfortable to be around him, but she kept telling herself that that was how every relationship started. She was worried about what would happen after he got to her house.
She had every right to be worried – or, at least, that's what she told herself. The abuse with Tyler didn't start until they had moved in together. When they were in a "dating" phase – which, honestly, didn't even deserve the word, because he had never taken her one single date – he was sweet, and kind, and opened doors for her and everything that a gentleman would do. It wasn't until they got more comfortable, seeing her space and staying with her, that he started to show his douchebag side.
"I noticed when you asked him if he got fired, you said again. Is there something I should know?" Caroline was honestly glad when Damon seemed to take the lead with what she just said. Yes, she could talk about Kol's failure at jobs better than she could talk about her own emotions.
"Kol's a good guy, and a good worker, Damon. The thing is, he's had a few jobs that just weren't his speed."
"Like?"
"Like the bakery delivery boy, the construction worker, the florist delivery boy, and the fast food joint worker, just to name a few. He's always wanted a long term job, but he just hasn't found his calling. But I think this bartending just might be it."
"So, how about it?" Damon asked Caroline after a moment. "How about I come stay with you?"
Caroline hesitated for a moment. She was pretty sure her eyes widened as well, and prayed that Damon didn't see it. The most baffling part of this scenario, however, was the fact that she actually was thinking about letting him. She was actually thinking about telling him yes. Her head screamed at her, He can't come over! That's when all hell will break loose! But no matter how loudly her head screamed, her heart just wasn't listening. Finally, Caroline nodded, "Sure. That would be nice."
-x-
Caroline stood outside her house with Damon, unlocking her door, when Damon said, "How many locks do you have here, Caroline?"
Caroline shrugged, "About four."
"Why so many? I mean, what are you afraid of?"
"It's not that I'm afraid of anything, per se, it's more like, safety is underrated. I sleep much better with all these locks on my door." She opened the door after unlocking it, and Damon stepped inside. He hadn't even stepped inside fully when Caroline's dog, Lizzie, came running towards him. She practically knocked him over, but he caught himself before he fell. Lizzie sniffed him, and he turned to Caroline, "You have a dog."
Caroline nodded, "Yes. I've had her for a while."
"She's a fucking big dog," Damon commented. "German shepherd, yes?"
Caroline nodded.
"I hope you feel safe, with all those locks and that big dog to protect you," Damon said.
"That's kind of the idea," Caroline said. For a moment, Damon wanted to ask Caroline why she had all these locks and this great big dog, what was she afraid of? He wanted to ask her, but this was his first time being at her house, and he didn't want Caroline to feel uncomfortable. He didn't want her to feel like bringing him home was a mistake.
After a few minutes, Lizzie went over to Caroline and Damon took the time to look around her living room. It was a nice, spacious living room, but the thing that grabbed Damon's attention was the pictures. She probably had at least twenty something pictures around the room. Elena was also in most of them. The one that grabbed Damon's attention the most, however, had the Mikaelsons, Elena, and Caroline in it, and she couldn't have been older than seventeen. She looked happy. There was a sparkle in her eyes, something that seemed to have died since then. She had her arm around Elena, and they looked like they giggling. She looked so carefree. There were also quite a few pictures of Caroline with Klaus, as well. Damon was almost jealous of Klaus in that moment; he knew a side of Caroline that Damon might never know.
That night, Damon cooked her dinner. Caroline had food in her house – in fact, she had enough food to survive the apocalypse. Damon was surprised at how much food she had.
"It's because I grew up not knowing where my next meal was coming from, Damon," she had explained. "I went days without food, sometimes having to steal my next meal. Ever since, I need the security of knowing I have enough food. It's my security blanket."
Damon made her something special – spaghetti. As they ate, they talked.
"Tell me about your family," Damon said, and Caroline watched him for a moment.
"I don't know," she responded slowly. "They're family. You've met them."
"Tell me about how you fit in."
"Huh?"
"I mean, how did you become one of them?"
Caroline sighed, "It took time. And when I say time, I mean a lot of it. I'd been hurt by everyone, and I literally had no one. My only living blood family, my Grandma Forbes, she died a few months before my parents' accident, so there was nowhere for me to go. And when I went to the Mikaelsons, I hated them. I hated them because I couldn't afford to like them."
"Why not?"
Caroline debated the answer to this question in her head for a moment. Honesty was always her policy. Ask her a question, and she would answer it as honestly as she could. She figured her past was her past, it happened, and she didn't care about talking about it. After chewing it over in her head, she finally decided to give an answer, "I went through a phase where I hated everyone because I was afraid to like them. If anybody got too close to me, I'd push them away. I'd say awful things, be violent, I'd even block the whole world out. I knew I had myself, I could take care of myself, but what if these people left me? What if they died? Or worse, what if they just decided that they hated me, and just disappeared?" This was the most vulnerable Damon had ever seen her, and he felt for her. He couldn't imagine what she went through, or how she felt. However, Caroline was leaving something out. The phase that she was talking about was still going on. She was afraid to let anyone, besides the Mikaelsons or Elena, get too close. She sighed before saying, "The only exception, though, was Elena. It's always been Elena."
"What about when you were away at school?"
"She'd come up and visit me, you know," Caroline said with a smile, and Damon realized that this was the only he had ever seen Caroline smile at a memory from college. "She'd come up, and I'd get her a hotel room for the weekend. Tyler always forbade her to spend the weekend with us. I think it's because he didn't want her to know he used to hit me, but she knew. Elena always knew. She was different than most people, though. Most people, my brothers included, would have told me that I didn't deserve to be treated that way, and that I needed to move on with my life, but I know me, and at that point of my life, I would have just rolled my eyes. But Elena waited until I was ready. She saw me get hurt, she waited until she thought I was ready, and then she gave me the courage I needed to end things with him. If it wasn't for Elena Gilbert, I'd probably still be with that jackass, broken and bruised."
"Was she the only contact you had from your old life?" Damon asked her softly.
Caroline nodded, "Yes. Elena watched after me. My first foster family made me cut ties with everybody from my old life, but Elena and I would email each other secretly. She knew everything that was happening – everything with Mike, everything with his parents, even me getting put into rehab. She even came to visit me a couple of times. When I got put into the Mikaelson house, I don't know how she knew, but the very next day, she called me to make sure I was okay. That very weekend, she came up to see me and meet my mother and brothers."
"But I thought that Klaus didn't meet her until later?"
"He didn't. He was at the VA hospital. He had gotten wounded in Iraq and had shrapnel in his leg – they weren't even sure if he'd be able to walk again. So everybody else met Elena, but Nik did not. He knew of her, though. When he got better, he went back into the service, and was away when I was with Tyler."
"He doesn't know about how Tyler treated you?"
"That's not it," Caroline said, chewing over her words carefully. "By the time Nik got back, I had broken up with Tyler. I had these days where I could barely pull myself out of bed in the morning, and I was staying at Mother's, along with Nik. He's always known me so well, so he knew something was up. He eventually cornered me and asked – well, more like demanded – that I spill my guts. So I did."
"So, who knew Tyler was an abusive douchebag?"
"Elena."
"Yeah, I gathered that. I mean, who else?"
Caroline shook her head, "Elena. That's it. I still get mad at myself. After surviving everything that I went through in my adolescence, I put up with it until I was twenty-one years old. I have been through a lot and have all this strength, but when it mattered the most, I lost my nerve. I stayed with Tyler for almost four years. Elena knows absolutely everything about me – she knows my past, she knows my secrets, she knows everything I've ever gone through."
-x-
After dinner that night, Caroline told Damon that she had to go work on her sketches. Damon looked at her quizzically.
"I'm doing the dresses for Miss Mystic Falls this year," she explained. "Elena asked me to."
Damon was kind of wary, "I don't know, Caroline. After the founder's party, aren't you afraid of another run in with Carol?"
Caroline shook her head, "It doesn't worry me. Elena asked me to do this, and, after the hundreds of things she's done for me, I figured I could do this one thing for her. Besides, I can be civil."
"Yeah, but I'm not sure Carol can," Damon said, following Caroline up the stairs.
"I lost my nerve at my last run in with Carol, Damon," Caroline explained. "Usually, I'm not like that, but it's the first time seeing her since I broke up with Tyler, and it was just an inconvenient time." She turned into her sewing room, flipping the light on, "I really do appreciate you saying something to her for me, though, Damon. That was very gentlemanly."
Damon shrugged, "She was saying bullshit. She needed to be put in her place."
Caroline reached into a drawer in her sewing machine table and grabbed an oversized sketchpad. She grabbed a pencil out of the holder on the table that was in there and sat down to start her work.
"You can sit if you want," Caroline said, patting the chair next to hers. "Or, you can go downstairs and watch TV, whatever. I usually put on music," Caroline motioned to the iPod dock that was on the table.
Damon sat beside her.
"Listen, Damon, I want to know something," Caroline started, opening up her sketchpad and getting to work.
Damon nodded, "Sure."
"What is it about me? I mean, there's something you like, right? What is it?"
Damon picked up a tool from the table and started to fiddle with it as he replied, "You're refreshing, Caroline. You're independent, but not too much; just enough. I've seen both types; I've been with girls who are so independent that they don't need me around except to look good, and I've been with girls who are so dependent on me to take care of them. You're the middle ground, and you're perfect."
Caroline reached over and took the tool out of Damon's hand, "Don't play with that, it's sharp. It's what I use to cut material, other than scissors. It's easier to cut straight lines with this."
Damon shrugged, "It looks like a pizza cutter to me."
"Was one of those girls Katherine?" Caroline asked, getting back on subject, and then immediately felt guilty for asking.
Damon nodded slowly, "Yes. The overly independent one was Katherine. She was independent to a fault. She didn't need me; she didn't need anybody. Made me feel out of my place sometimes, but I loved her so much that I didn't care."
There was a moment of silence before Caroline added, "I'm sorry I asked you about her. I just wondered…" her voice trailed off.
"Don't apologize, Caroline. Much like you have a past, I do too. Katherine was my past. But I'm here, with you, because I choose to be. I want to know you. I want to know what makes you happy, what you do when you're angry, what makes you depressed, and how to fix it. I want to know your greatest hopes, and fears, and everything that makes you tick. I want to experience it firsthand. I want to be with you, Caroline, and don't think of getting rid of me. I'm going to be here whenever you need me, and I'm not leaving anytime soon."
Caroline smiled, "You know, Esther Mikaelson said the same thing to me about ten years ago."