Author's Soundtrack:
The following are all by Colossal Trailer music, and can be listened to sequentially:
Submersive
In Too Deep
Quiet Moon
Endless Drifter
A Distant Lament
Fallen Sailor
Warning: Potentially sensitive and dark material ahead
Chapter Fifteen
Time was lost to her, slipping further and further from her grasp, an anchor unchained and sinking deeper into the murky depths of the dark abyss.
She reached for it.
Chased it.
Fought for it.
Her body wasn't her own. It was his to do with as he pleased - and his imagination was terrifyingly unlimited. There had to be an end to it, a bottom where the tether of her sanity rested. She simply needed to find it. Yet when she thought she had reached it, she discovered nothing but more endless emptiness.
She stopped trying. Drifting in the sea of her mind, she fought to forget the reality that surrounded her like a bruising force. In the sanctuary of her inner thoughts, he couldn't touch her. She was safe, surrounded by the warmth that was her most cherished memories. Their faces brought comfort, breathing life into her dying limbs and collapsing will with their gentle expressions and tender gestures.
Until they fractured under the pressure.
The pieces scattered like stardust, fading away beyond her grasp.
Beckoning them, begging for them, was pointless. They wouldn't return. Those that remained were tainted, spoilt by his cool tones and brutal imaginings. What gave her solace was now only a reminder of her torment. Every loving moment was twisted into something new, false, and unwelcome. To keep them clean, she buried them deep in the shadows of her wavering mind.
Out of her reach.
Out of his.
The ache in her heart was like drowning, the pressure squeezing tightly as the water filled every pocket of her being. She was almost glad when it was cut out of her, an unwanted weight that only caused her more suffering.
There were questions.
So many questions.
They blurred in her mind, difficult to remember, impossible to understand. It didn't matter. Silence was her answer. They had taken enough from her, she would give them nothing else. It irked him, his unanswered curiosities. He was pleased when he heard her anguish, so she sealed her mouth, clenching her teeth so tightly they nearly shattered. Desperation howled for release, beating against her like a feral animal. It clawed at her and left her raw and weak, but she wouldn't relent.
Until she was alone.
Discarded and uninteresting, she submitted and let the tears fall. They stung her eyes and phantom wounds, but she did nothing to stop them. For these few moments, she was free.
But he took that from her too.
When her fangs punctured the flesh, heated blood filled her mouth, and a frantic pulse of life fluttered beneath her grasp she knew she would never break the surface.
She wept openly.
Broken and ruined.
And he was pleased.
And he was cruel.
The body was left there, an empty shell and powerful reminder of all she no longer was. She welcomed his next visitation and the agony that followed. Flames, this time.
They burned.
Bright blue, nearly white.
She prayed they were hot enough to cleanse her fetid soul.
But the memory was still there, the sensation too real, the regret unbearable. Not matter the number of times she abandoned this world and returned, her suffering did not ease. She begged for the end, for the weight of it was too much to bear.
Death wasn't strong enough.
He reached for her. She floated close enough to touch, only to be ripped away by a force more powerful than he. Seeing the impossibility of possessing her, he abandoned her.
In the dreary solitude, she marveled at the faint sensation of the ice cold floor. The chill danced across her skin, leaving it tingling with familiarity, like an old friend coming to greet her. It sang to her, resonating with her in silent harmony, creating a beautiful sound of crackling metal.
He silenced it.
Her vision was clouded.
The song was subdued.
The quiet was oppressive, crushing like the emptiness of space, and she was happy to greet the darkness that followed.
Cool waves of water surrounded her, and she wondered, when would she be free?
Author's note: I struggled a lot with this chapter. I hope it turned out well. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I know it's shorter and a bit of a departure from my usual style, but I'm hoping the content itself makes up for that.
Thank you to everyone who favorited and followed my story. And thanks to those who were kind enough to leave reviews: NieveDrop, DLil (I'm glad you like the music choices!), and Haru (Sorry, but it happened :/).
If you didn't read this chapter with the recommended music I listed, I highly recommend it.