I watched Grunt go to the food, snag an untouched plate of snacks, and take as much booze as he could cradle in his arms, muttering about how this weak shit would have to do, and walked off to lord only knew where to enjoy his bounty.

That wasn't going to end well for my apartment.

"Glyph!" Jack shouted from the kitchen. "Put on some music we can fucking dance to!"

Glyph: "Putting on music you can fucking dance to."

"Jack!" I heard Liara snap at Jack from the balcony. "Don't teach Glyph to swear!"

"He was with us in the archives." I called to Liara. "That ship has sailed." I, myself, swore over a dozen times.

There was a choir of laughter.

Mordin, I noticed, was sitting quietly reading his data-pad. I was amazed he could concentrate with all this noise.

"Mordin?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"What're you doing?"

"Looking over Crucible data."

"You do realize this is a party."

"Aware."

"And you still owe me a dance." I carefully slid the data-pad from his fingers. "From the casino."

He thought about this. "Do not recall such suggestion."

"Ah, huh." I placed the data-pad on the closest flat surface. "You'd be the first and only salarian to forget something." I took his hands and pulled him to his feet. "It's impossible to dance worse than me." I led him to the dance circle and we slid in between Garrus and Samara. Jack was doing her version of dancing on the War Table.

Cortez: "Hah! Captain on deck!"

Traynor: "Has Shepard always been like this?"

Tali: "Shepard is saving the galaxy. You have to forgive a few…eccentricities."

Me: "Yeah? And who here as killed not one, but two Reapers and come back from the dead?"

Traynor: "It's…very enthusiastic."

Samara: "It is impressive."

Garrus: "We should record this and broadcast it for the Reapers. They'll either run way, melt down, or fall in love."

Jack: "Good to see somethings don't change."

Cortez: "Well, I like it, Commander. It's good to see you cut loose now and then!"

"Thank you all for your loyalty and support!" I said dryly.

So I can't dance or drive the Mako. Big deal.

Garrus: "I'm always amazed humans can dance, with the way your legs bend."

Traynor: "The way our legs bed?"

Tali: "Yes, you and the asari. I'm surprised you don't tip over!"

Jack: "I don't tip over until I've found company, dog-legs. Till then, watch and learn!"

"Vestibular system in human and asari ears different than turian, quarian, and salarian." Mordin sighed in exasperation at the blank stares. "Balance. Vestibular system deals with balance."

Samara: "Is that why asari and humans have ears?"

Mordin opened his mouth, and judging by his expression, he was about to lecture in a very condescending way.

On a normal day, Mordin rubbed people the wrong way. On a bad day, my inbox was full of complaints. On a drunk day, fist and biotics might go flying.

To hopefully avoid that, I asked the first thing that popped into my head. "Who, besides Mordin, knows the periodic table?"