Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.
Reviews, critiques and flames are welcome. I absolutely love all reviews about the story as it gives me motivation, I use good constructive criticism to help my writing improve and I feed the flames to the fires of my imagination.
A/N: Just a reminder that the italics are flashbacks/inner thoughts or dreams. I wrote the flashback with Zack and Aerith to the song "Not Strong Enough (feat. Doug Robb)" By Apocalyptica. About the scene with Zack and Aerith - I know that they are OOC, I wrote it that way because I wanted to and there is a reason, so just go with the flow people!
Guest reviews: Thanks for taking time to review! I will try to answer the questions. Although I am a huge fan of Zerith, I wanted to write Aerith with Sephiroth. I think that Aerith's calming nature is beneficial to Seph's more volatile nature. I love Sephiroth and do not consider him a villain and never really have. To me, Jenova and Hojo were the real villains and Sephiroth was just an unfortunate pawn in their scheme. I cannot answer the questions about who Zack will be with, or whether or not Seph will meet his biological mother, sorry. If I were to answer them, then it might ruin the ending of the story or the plot of the sequel that I am working on.
I must say that this came up when the story was posted before and I forgot to address this in previous chapters. Sephiroth does NOT know that Hojo is his biological father.
Thanks to my before posting beta Queen of Jokers and my after posting beta SubZeroChimera!
"In the hopes of reaching the moon, men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet." –Albert Schweitzer
Chapter 38
When Zack got out to the storage building and just before going in, he leaned against the wall. He put one of his hands up to his face and covered his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, his heart ached, his body trembled and he fought the tears. 'I can't do this. I can't watch this happening around me. I can't be with her anymore.' He shook his head and dropped his hand. He looked up to the bottom of the upper plate and shook off the tears that began to form.
With a deep breath he went inside and found what he came for. He stopped short and with his free hand he punched the wall and broke the inner wooden plank. As he withdrew his hand, wood slivers sliced into his skin. Looking at his hand, he marveled at how that didn't hurt near as much as his heart did. All the torture, pain and beatings that Hojo and his employees put him through almost seemed like a walk in the park.
He hit it again, he hated this feeling of internal pain, another hit and never had he wanted to be put out of his misery before. He felt like he was losing her all over again, but she wasn't his anymore. Another hit and he fell to his knees and cried out with a deep groan, he hurt more now than he ever did before.
Almost two weeks after Cloud skipped out on him and Tifa, Zack found himself at the house that Aerith shared with Sephiroth. Knocking on the door, Zack looked around nervously, he hoped that Sephiroth was home. Not being able to sleep, he'd decided to take a walk. Since he searched while he walked, he thought that either changing or moving on to the next grid would speed up their search.
It was still early, so the former General shouldn't have left for work yet. Flexing his fists in his jacket pockets seemed to help warm them up a bit. The crisp morning air had a soft breeze that sent the smell of Aerith's flowers right to him. Morning light sifted through the plates above and made shadows of all that Shinra made and forced upon everyone. As he waited for someone to answer, his nerves had him shaking. He hoped that Aerith wouldn't be the one to answer the door. It was just too difficult to see her, even if she was happy, she was happy with someone else.
He remembered the times that he would stand on this very step, waiting for her mother to answer the door. His butterflies fluttering until he saw her, she was his rock, his heart, soul. She had been the reason that he was able to get up in the morning. She'd been the last thing he thought of before he went to bed. She'd been who he dreamed about at night. He'd always been drawn to her, she always had that power. From the moment he met her, she'd imbedded herself into his life. To remove her, would be to remove half of his heart. That was exactly how he felt without her, half of a man.
The door opened slowly and a quiet squeak announced its movement. Aerith's beautiful jade colored eyes peered through the crack between the door and door frame, "Zack? What can I do for you?" Her voice, as soft and graceful as her movements were, reached his ears and he might as well have been wrapped in velvet.
'What could she do for me?' His thoughts jumped, his body shivered and butterflies broke free from their cocoons to flutter all over again. Trying to keep his voice as steady as possible, "Hey, I need to talk to Seph."
She opened the door wider and he could see her in her cute pink frilly pajamas. The top was similar to a tank top that had lace for straps and the lace weaved down the front. The bottoms went down to her calves and the same color of dark pink with lace on the sides that traveled from the waist down to the hem. He loved it when she wore pink. She was absolutely beautiful, more so in the mornings, her natural beauty was overwhelming and left him breathless.
She stepped back and retied her robe around her, "He isn't here. He left early this morning to get some searching done before he had to go to work. Would you like some coffee?"
Before Zack could argue with himself, he stepped across the threshold into the hallway, "Thanks Aerith." Being alone with her made him nervous. He just had to work on maintaining control of himself, he wasn't going to get upset and yell or worse, cry. What he really wanted to do, was run back out the door and back to the safety of his lumpy and extremely uncomfortable couch.
"Here, give me your jacket," As he pulled his jacket off, she dropped it on the floor. Suddenly grabbing him, his back hit the wall with a loud thump as she jumped at him and smashed her lips to his. The picture that his head ran into fell to the floor with a crash.
'Am I dreaming this? What is going on?' He held his hands up in surprise. Confusion ruled him at that moment. Then his thoughts jammed his brain with warnings. 'No, I can't do this, we can't do this.'
"Aerith…" Her gentle fingers stroked his chest and neck as she pressed her lips to his again. His hands found the tie that held the robe closed. Once it was untied, he pulled her into him and his tongue parted her lips and his head continued to swim in its attempt to make sense of what was happening. When she yanked his shirt up, he grabbed it and finished pulling it up and over his head.
His brain began to scream at him, 'What the hell is wrong with you?! Practice some self-control Zack!'
His hands reached up and gently caressed her silky soft skin while they slid down her shoulders, dropping the robe to the floor.
'Zack stop this, now!'
His head spun, his body jerked to life and he moaned quietly in anticipation. He backed her up against the wall on the other side of the hall, her breaths on his neck made an epidemic of goose bumps surround him. His blood rushed through his veins and when she pushed him back across the floor to the other wall; he was close to the kitchen entrance.
'Self-control? Oh, fuck self-control…'
He balanced himself on the frame and kicked off his boots, they hit the wall and bounced into the living room.
Taking her by the waist, he pulled her to him and she pushed him farther into the kitchen and they ended up at the table. His heel sent a chair screeching and falling to its side and the backs of his thighs rested on the table top. She worked at his waistband getting his pants undone; he pulled her shirt off and revealed her soft skin.
He bent over and tasted her lips again, soft but desperate kisses and his rough hands gently and expertly brushed her delicate form. He had missed her taste, her softness and the tiny gentle noises she made when she was aroused. When she pushed him back on to the table, he semi sat on the table and leaned back on his hands and watched as she pulled the rest of his clothing off. He slammed his eyes shut, threw his head back and was unable to control a loud moan as she slowly worked her way up thighs and hips, then she planted tiny kisses up his stomach and chest.
When she returned to his arms, he turned and laid her back down on the table. He sucked and nipped at her as he worked his way down to her pajama bottoms. He slid his fingers in the sides of the bottoms and pulled them off. They flew behind him and his lips returned to her leg and the moan from her, sent electricity of pleasure through him. The delicate skin of her inner thigh met his lips and tongue with little resistance as he worked his way up her leg and when she finally screamed his name, he moved back to her lips.
He had dreamed, fantasized and waited for this, to be with her again. He remembered what she liked, what she craved. When he slid his hands under her shoulders and held her tightly, he thrust forward and she let out a cry of painful passion. His breath hitched, his back muscles flexed and his arms never let go of her. The intense over-stimulation of his entire body had him in the unique and tantalizing position of moving in unison with her movements. As her fingers ran through his hair he was momentarily transported to bliss. Then she quickly grabbed at his back, her erotic whisper for more sent him into a whirlpool of carnal, sexual hunger…
From a short, but deep sleep, he opened his eyes abruptly, he looked up from the kitchen floor where they eventually ended up and he looked around, horrified. What happened? Lying next to Aerith, naked, he wondered 'Do I have that little control of myself?' Physically he was satisfied but what about his heart? He looked at her, sleeping, dreaming of something. Her long chestnut colored hair fanned out across the floor.
Gently he picked her up and took her into the bedroom and covered her up. He stood there, staring at her; he just stabbed Sephiroth in the back. He couldn't see her beauty right then, only the hurt that covered Sephiroth's face. He and Aerith hadn't talked, it just happened. -It just happened- That was a weak and shameless attempt at making his trespass less offending. Aerith had been his at one time, but not anymore.
Breaking out in a sweat, he rushed downstairs and gathered his clothing that had been strewn all around the house. Getting dressed he moved the table back and surrounded it with the chairs again. His hair hung down in his face, damp with sweat, as he cleaned up the broken picture off of the floor. Gathering up her clothing, he took it upstairs. Nervously running his hands through his hair, "Oh gods what have I done?" This could end his and Sephiroth's friendship, he couldn't let him find out, ever.
Leaving the house without another word, he started searching his next search area. Guilt consumed him, so when he was finished searching at the end of the day, he went back to the office and showered. The gut gnawing indiscretion still played in his mind.
She'd chosen and it wasn't him. Sephiroth was the better man, he felt as though he'd become a devastating maelstrom. Every time he saw her, he would die a little more. The fact that he couldn't shout it out to everyone that she was his just jerked his heart around a carousel of desolation. It was his own fault, he could have stopped his obsession, but he was weak when it came to her.
He swore to himself that he would abide by her decision, but he hadn't anticipated her picking Sephiroth. She was in love with another and there was nothing that he could do about it.
When Zack finally got back upstairs, he saw that Cloud had dropped the door, but his face was shocked at Zack's hand. He knew the questions would rein him farther into a downward spiral, but it was unavoidable, "What happened to your hand?"
"Nothing," Zack pushed past him and stepped over the door to get to the sink. When the cold water hit it, he hissed from the sting.
Cloud went and got the first aid kit, "Here, let me get this." Zack pulled his hand away and Cloud looked at him and grabbed it again, "Stop being a horse's ass. Let me help you." Zack looked down and turned his head away from him. Cloud pulled him over and sat him down on the side of the tub, Zack kept his head down, his shame filled every part of his being. It was like sickening, burning ooze that crept into his chest and threatened to cause an outburst on a massive scale.
When he was finished cleaning and bandaging his hand, Cloud ruffled Zack's hair. He turned and walked back into the bedroom leaving Zack alone, who sat there thinking, Cloud was usually the one that needed him. He needed Cloud for a change, but maybe he had always needed him. The time that everyone thought he was dead; Cloud had grown and become a stronger man. Did Cloud really require him to take care of him anymore? Well except for the occasional rescue from a bordello of course.
Hearing a hammer incessantly banging on the wall, he momentarily watched his friend fixing the Cloud shaped hole in the wall. Zack picked up the door and propped it against the frame and went over to help finish the dry wall, side by side with his friend. It had been too long that they had done anything together. Maybe a little part of him missed the lab, only because he felt a sort of hollowness without the familiarity and connection with Cloud.
They were almost finished and then the door was next. They both worked silently, Zack just enjoyed being in the room with Cloud. He just had to think, if only he could just leave, leave and get as far from the pain as possible.
They ate really late that night so they could get the room finished. Zack said nothing and Cloud was observing him with his eyebrows pinched together. Tifa looked at Cloud in the 'what is wrong with him?' look. Cloud shrugged his shoulders slightly. Zack's silence unnerved Tifa, so she broke the silence, "Did ya'll get finished with the room?"
They both looked at Zack, waiting for him to answer. He still said nothing, but looked up and strained a smile and Cloud spoke, "Yeah, we're finished." Zack looked to be in a whole different world. Tifa could almost see the wheels turning in his head. Something had happened and she was concerned about what might be going through his thoughts. She hated to admit it, but she cared for Zack a great deal, he was fun to be around, had a wonderful laugh, an infectious smile and always found the good in everything. The times that she saw him upset, it usually didn't last long, but it was still painful to watch him suffer.
Zack stood, "I'm gonna go get a shower now that there is a door and some privacy."
After Zack left, Tifa leaned into the table, "You have any idea what happened?"
"All I know is Zack left to get the nails, Seph came up there, Aerith came in crying and wanted Seph to take her home," Cloud scraped the last of the food onto his fork.
"Hmm? Something happened between the two of them. Aerith was fine before, and so was Zack. Maybe by tomorrow it'll settle," Tifa swirled the remaining food on her plate around, nervously, "Cloud? I would like to talk to you, but it is a bit awkward."
Cloud swallowed his last bite down and it was loud enough that Tifa heard it across the table, "Sure," his hesitancy was not lost on her. Cloud sat back and fidgeted in his chair, his eyes moved away.
She put her arms up on the table and continued, "Here comes the awkward part."
"Let me guess, you want to know what Zack and I got into a fight about?"
"Well yeah, but that's not it," Her eyes peered at him, "You do know that nothing happened between me and Zack right?"
"Yes," Cloud hardened his face and narrowed his eyes.
"When you woke me up that night… well I want to know… How do you feel now?" She sat back and put her hands in her lap and fidgeted with her fingers. The thought that he didn't want her anymore entered her mind. It made her a little sick to think that after everything he'd said, it was not what he wanted anymore.
Cloud rubbed the back of his head, "Well, I… you see…" He sighed loudly in frustration. He put his arms on the table and lowered his face. "Tifa… I…"
Tifa stood up and walked over to him and put her nervous fingers through his hair. Looking in his beautiful eyes, they glowed lightly, his lips were parted and they called to her. She answered the call when she leaned down and kissed him.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."
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