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You guys are honestly the best! Last chapter I was celebrating 50 reviews and now I'm celebrating 60! Thank you so much to Raven that flies at night, Marie0907, madwamoose, Chica90, Guest, Anya and Yvonne for their reviews and ongoing support! And... I cant forget about those of you that have favourite and followed this story, I would love to hear your opinions on my writing and be able to correspond with you!

I really love this chapter, theres some cute moments, some plain awkward moments and extremely angsty sad moments! This chapters also slightly shorter than the past few.

This chapter is dedicated to Marie0907 who was my 60th reviewer and is constantly sharing her kind words and support x thank you!

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"Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them." - Leo Tolstoy

Her chest heaved with the effort to breath, perspiration licked her skin, her mind spun. As she ran and stumbled through the halls of Hogwarts in a panicked manner, she felt the walls closing in on her, people staring at her frenzied state, lights flashed in her vision and the world around her was nothing but flashes and lines. Everything around her was colourful and she was black and white. In her mind she seemed motionless for eternity but she was moving.

She felt numb.

Sometime later she'd recall climbing up stairs, pushing through hoards of students. But that sometime wouldn't be for a while. She was too incomprehensible, to disconnected from reality at he present time to realise what was going on around her.

It felt as if everyone was looking at her, as if they all had xray vision and could see the way her heart was pumping rapidly, the way her lungs were struggling to grab onto the air she was inhaling and exhaling rapidly, the way her muscles were clenching and the way her brain was reduced to mush.

She couldn't do this.

She couldn't believe it.

It wasn't true, It couldn't be.

She pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes until she saw nothing but flashes of different and unknown colours amongst a black background, like fireworks on a dark winters night. She tried to sit down, but it was more like a stumble and fall that left her in a trembling heap on the icy cold marble tiles.

This couldn't be happening.

Lily was in a frenzy, Liz had skipped Arithmancy and transfiguration. It was unlike her, especially when she seemed perfectly fine in the morning. Sore, yes. But otherwise fine. She would be pissed if Liz skipped because she was sore, She was sore and she went to transfiguration, she hates transfiguration! If Liz had skipped because she was sore she was going to be incensed.

She could never recall using her muscles so much, it hurt, oh god it hurt.

As she jumped trying to see over everyone in the crowded third floor she bumped into a laughing James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.

"Hey Lily." Peter exclaimed and nudged James who seemed to looking at Lily with an analysing look on his face, had he known she was worried. No, no he most definitely could not.

"Hey Peter, Potter." She nodded at them, before grimacing and sighing, "Listen have either of you seen Liz, I haven't seen her since this morning."

"Erm, no. We're heading down to lunch if you want to join us though." Peter replied whilst nodding in the direction of the Great hall,

"I'm not sure, I really should look." She bit her lip, she was hungry, really hungry, as in her stomach sounded like a troll was grumbling. And her legs hurt, and so did her shoulders, arms, bum...Maybe some chocolate would fix up her ailment. Yes some chocolate would be good, she deserved it after the day she'd had. But she was a good friend and good friends looked out for each other. If she went to eat chocolate she wouldn't be a good friend. Maybe she'd go get chocolate for Liz as well and then she wouldn't be such an awful friend.

"She might be in the great Hall." James suggested, noticing her discomfort. Damn it, why do you need to give good suggestions potter? She relented, she was hungry and they were right, there was a large chance she'd be at lunch with everyone else.

"Yes, fine, I'll go to lunch with you's."

She looked back as she walked with a worried expression on her face, where was she?

What had happened?

Dear Miss Gilmore,

It is with regret that we inform you that last night, on the 8th of January 1978 your parents residence was attacked by the Terrorist group known as the Death Eaters. Your sister was fortunately out of the house at a friends however your parents sadly perished during the attack.

Several houses in the area were attacked. Under the muggle law your sister had to go to your next of kin so she is now residing with your Grandmother in Yorkshire. As you are of age it is your choice once the school term finish's whether you choose to live with her or by yourself.

We are sorry for your loss.

Yours sincerely

Bartemius Crouch

Head of DMLE

The ministry of magic.

She screwed the letter up in her hands, the parchment crinckling at her rough handling of it. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted nothing more than to smash something. But it wouldn't happen, the tears wouldn't come, her eyes were agonisingly dry; Her throat was dry and felt closed up, even if she wanted to, she couldn't scream, he didn't have the energy. Her body was numb, even when she moved she couldn't.

Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to cry, she wanted to feel her salty tears slide down her cheeks, she wanted to feel her throat clench as she sobbed. Did they die quickly, she wondered. Did they think of her, of how they loved her, or did they curse her name for affiliating their family with magic in the first place. In some ways she envied her sister, she would've been able to hold their dead bodies in her arms. She would have had tangible evidence to her parents death, not the words of a heartless ministry official.

She couldn't believe it even when the evidence was right in front of her, her parents the people who created her, the people who took care of her, the people who loved her, the people she called mum and dad. Were gone, just like that.

Their lives were taken from them, they were like solid smoke that slowly sublimated into a gas, slowly disappeared.

But that doesn't happen, how could that happen.

Her parents, weren't gone.

She couldn't be an orphan.

Orphan, orphan, orphan, orphan.

The word slowly became louder and louder, it blared in her ears, thumping and pounding as if trying to embed it into her mind. She placed her hands over her ears, no, no no. She didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to hear that word.

"Ew get a room." Lily commented as she walked into the hall to see one of her best friends in one of her other best friends lap practically eating his face off. They didn't stop, are they death now? Honestly. She moved up the table towards James, Peter and Sirius who seemed to be whispering amongst themselves.

"Whats going on?" she asked them as they looked at her in confusion, "Or is it secret marauder business I'm not allowed to know about?" She said cheekily.

"Nah we're just trying to figure out how to prank Mary and Remus, we were thinking of sticking them together but they might enjoy that abit too much." Peter replied with a laugh causing her to snicker, very true.

"Actually only Peter and I are discussing that, Sirius just seemed to be playing with his hair and making innuendos about them." James commented whilst examining his bacon sandwhich.

"Of course he was." Lily laughed whilst patting Sirius on the head like a dog, causing him to shake his head and move away from her.

"Oi away from the hair!" He exclaimed horrified until he saw that it was Lily who had raised her brows in surprise, generally he let her touch his hair, who else braided it for him? "Oh its you. Hey Lils can you do a braid please?"

"After your reaction I don't think so" she shook her head before picking out a spring roll and munching on it.

"Please."

"no."

"Please, please, please."

"Using three pleases isn't going to persuade me."

And then he pouted and put on the best puppy dog face he could, it was very good, very…unnerving as well. Maybe Sirius just had very strong resemblance to a dog. But lets not mention to him how good his puppy dog face was. "Please, please, please with a cherry on top.""

"Nope!" she said popping the p.

"pl…"

"NO SIRIUS!" she exclaimed out loud, causing Remus and Mary who were afew seats down to spring apart, causing laughs all round.

It wasn't until dinner that night, when the evening prophet arrived that the seventh year Gryffindor's found out why Elizabeth had been absent for most of the day. They were shocked, horrified. Why hadn't they known, they had gone about laughing and joking all day, whilst their friend grieved the loss of their parents.

MUGGLE VILLAGE ATTACKED. 13 CONFIRMED DEAD, 3 MISSING.

They hadn't thought much of it until they saw the list, the dreaded list that every student, no matter how pure-blooded checked in silence hoping that it's not their family or friends. They all understand the overwhelming relief at not seeing somebody they know on there and the stabbing pain when they hear an anguished cry from their peers.

Silence envelopes them as they thought about what had happened, they thought about their parents, what they'd do in that situation. They all did except for one, who sat there and didn't think of their parents, no, in his mind they didn't deserve a moment of his time, he thought about Elizabeth and the pain she was going through, Pain that he'd never be able to comprehend.

After seeing the affects of grief, he was glad that he didn't need to grieve for his parents or relatives.

He stood up silently and walked out of the hall, it wasn't like anyone noticed, no. they all had other things to think about, much more than he did anyway.

Lily walked through the halls patrolling with James in silence, they were both deep in thought. Both had met Mr and Mrs Gilmore, James briefly but Lily knew them, they were like her second parents.

She had loved them and respected them immensely.

Mr and Mrs Gilmore let her stay at theirs when she turned up in the middle of the night when she was 14 after an argument with petunia, she went shopping with them, they celebrated both hers and Liz's birthday in the summer instead of missing it completely, she could go to them for anything and they helped her to the best of their ability.

She remembered admiring them for something her parents never managed to do, something that she was always insanely jealous of. The fact that they managed to keep their family together after they found out about Liz being a witch, yet hers fell apart.

It wasn't fair that they were able to stay together and love one another whilst her family struggled to sit down for Christmas dinner.

But now she knew she'd relish those awkward Christmas dinners, It wasn't fair that her best friend was an orphan/

A lone tear slid down her lightly freckled cheek as she thought about the situation, that could be her, any day, at any time. She could find her parents name on a list, and people would just pass over it as if they were nobody. Even though, to her they were the most important people in the world.

She felt as though she was grieving not only for Elizabeths parents, but for her parents, even though they were still living, she knew there was a possibility. She wasn't naïve.

James looked at Lily and saw a tear running down her cheek, oh how he wanted to use the pad of his thumb to wipe away her tears, for her to go to him when she was upset, to put a smile back onto her beautiful face.

He knew what she was thinking, he was thinking it too. Despite what many thought, he was not stupid, he knew the truth, he just chose not to accept it. He was apart of one of the most prominent blood traitor families in magical Britain, his father, before inventing sleekeezies was a top notch auror. He knew that he was in danger, he knew his parents were in danger, he knew they were targets.

But he chose to not accept it.

Some may say it'd be easier if he accepted it now than have to do so later on, but James was never one for doing things the easy way.

No, if he had anything to do with it, his parents wouldn't be dying anytime soon.

Peter sat in the kitchens sipping on a hot chocolate thinking over the events of today, he didn't want a war, he didn't want people to die. Why was the world so cruel? Peter's father left him and his mother when he was 6 years old for another woman, of course they didn't know that until he never came back. He had said he couldn't deal with magic anymore. He grieved, he grieved everyday, for the family he could've had. Before Hogwarts he was always rattled with jealousy around fathers day, he had wanted a father, a proper family. It wasn't until Hogwarts where he discovered the love of friendship, and how friends were the family he chose. He found out that his friends were a different type of family. He loved them, they were his brothers in everything but blood.

However he was different to them. Yes he was apart of the Marauders and they loved him, he was still an outsider, he wasn't as tall, or as handsome, or as intelligent. They wanted to fight for this war, they wanted to lead. But he wasn't sure, he didn't want to die, he didn't want his friends to die. He wanted it to just end.

For it to just be over.

Beverley hit the punching bag infront of her with such force, such anger. She put all her might into it, every feeling, every inch of pain. She hated it, she hated emotions, he just wanted the emotions to disappear, to leave her. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to hate, she didn't want anger, but most of all she didn't want to love.

Her chest heaved as tears welled in her eyes. She didn't want to cry, no, crying was for weaklings, for vulnerable people. She was better than everyone else, she wasn't weak, she wasn't vulnerable. She was Beverley Wilkins and those depictions didn't describe her at all.

She knew they missed her, they wanted the old her back. But the old Beverley was dead, her innocence went with her. No they wouldn't understand. She didn't want them to understand.

She couldn't remember the last time she laughed, wholeheartedly laughed. Was it that day, was it several days before? She couldn't remember...

When they say you never think the last time is the last time they're right. We as a human race are too selfish to think that there is an expiration date on forever, we think that there will be more, that forever is infinite.

She wanted nothing more than to be there for Elizabeth, to hold her as she cried, to tell her everything would be okay. But how could she, when she knew it wouldn't be. She would never be the same. She lost two of the most important people in her life, how could someone recover from that. How can she sugar-coat the truth from one of her best friends.

She couldn't…

And she knew that it would be merciful to do so, but sometimes you needed to face the sharp pain of the truth then opposed to the dull, blunt pains later on.

Mary looked up from her herbology textbook and looked at Remus, her Remus. A giddy feeling swelled in her chest as she thought about him.

His face was screwed up in concentration from his ridiculously large history book. The dark corner they were in was illuminated by the few lamps after meters away, it was secluded and quiet. Remus's favourite place in the library. Not surprising, his best friends were James, Sirius and Peter.

His eyebrows were drawn together and he was biting his lower lip, he leant over to grab his quill only to see mary staring at him. A small grin passed over his face as he looked at her in confusion, her cheeks were dashed with pink and she looked embarrassed.

"Do I have something on my face?" a small laugh escaped her, she shook her head in the negative.

"No, you just, you just looked really cute just then."

"Cute?"

"Extremely so." She nodded noting his discomfort with a smirk. "Irresistably cute, like…a small puppy or... I dunno, ice-cream."

Icecream? What on earth, why did she decide to use icecream to compare him to? Now she wouldn't mind a date with him, a tub of icecream and a bed, but now...comparing him to icecream. She had never been academically inclined, but what she had just said was downright ridiculous!

He sniggered, "icecream?"

"Yes, because every time icecream is put in front of me I want to eat a gallon of it."

"Yeah and then you feel guilty about it."

"Stop looking into my awful description of you!" she exclaimed whilst burying her head into the textbook. "I don't read sappy romance novels like Liz so I cant describe you as amazingly as I'd like to." she grumbled, her voice muffled by the book.

"Nah I find it cute." He leant over the table and lifted her head, "You don't need to read romance novels for me to care about you Mare."

She let out a sigh, but internally her heart was pounding, he cared about her!

"But I'm not as smart, I don't read or write or like school like-" He placed a finger against her lips to stop her from speaking, Her pale pink lips were soft against his finger, he couldn't help but crave to touch them, to feel them against his own.

"Intelligence is subjective." he whispered, "You are perfect the way you are." She felt like she could dance on a cloud, she wanted nothing more than to laugh and dance in joy. Merlin, he was perfect and beautiful and wonderful!

He placed his thumb under her chin and looked into her deepset dark blue eyes, they were like the clear dark waters of the ocean, open and inviting, yet mysterious and lethal. Her eyes sucked him in like a rip. She leaned forward as well and their lips connected over the table, books layed forgotten, it was just them.

And despite everything going on.

As long as they were together,

They would get through everything.

Sirius walked up the stairs towards the astronomy tower, he knew she was here after all, the map never lied.

He saw her sitting with her back facing him, looking towards the unending horizon. He moved towards her and he sat down next to her so they were side by side, she stared blank faced forwards, and he did to. The blank look on her face, it didn't belong there, for some reason his heart twinged at her pain. The empty mask plastered onto her face didn't belong there, she was meant to smile and laugh; not be so unexpressive and empty.

They sat in silence, she just sat there staring impassively ahead. They were both looking at the black canvas ahead of her that was littered with glistening dots.

To her it was beautiful.

To him, it meant so much more.

"That's Orion." He said out loud and pointed towards a constellation, "His the hunter. He died of his own arrogance, told everyone about how great he was at hunting and how he'd kill al the wild animals," he sorted at this, "They say that Gaia, the mother of all the animals was displeased and set a huge scorpion onto him and it stung him. They say that she placed both Orion and the scorpion in the sky as constellations and that Orion appears to be chased by the scorpion."

She looked at him in curiosity, that's when he saw her face, she looked so pale, so broken yet so strong. Her eyes were fogged yet miraculously clear. She hugged her knees as he continued.

"Orions my dad, and theres Bellatrix, my cousin."

"Your family." She started, her voice was husky and hoarse from disuse and lack of hydration, before continuing she cleared her throat, "They're all named after stars, why?"

It was unexpected, a question he'd answered a handful of times, yet never seemed to explain properly. He didn't know how to.

"Its something to do with how the stars and constellations are there, The stories were told centuries ago, but the constellations and stars are there. It's their legacy. The Black family will live on, if not in person, they will in the sky, therefore they will never be forgotten. The Black family is important, they shine brighter than mere mortals against a plan backdrop, they stand out and have the ambition to do something others don't have the strive to do." He explained whilst looking forward, expertly finding members of his family amongst the other lone stars. "Or that's what Bella, sorry, Bellatrix told me."

She nodded with a contemplative look on her face.

"It must be nice, having something to fall back on if you're running out of conversation topics, Hey did you know my familys named after stars?"

"I don't really like talking about my family. We don't get along all that well." He scoffed as she shook her head, turning towards him with anger etched onto her face. How dare he say something like that when she's just lost her family to those his family members followed.

"So in those 16 years that you were with your family, there weren't any good moments huh? Nothing that you look back on and go, yeah that was fun?"

Oh there was, there was plenty. So many good memories, getting Kreacher to get him and Regulus icecream in the middle of the night, forcing Andy to become the third brother and Bellatrix to be death so they could reenact the tale of the three brothers, getting Narcissa to braid his hair, them starting Hogwarts, their first winter balls at age 13, playing pranks. But the good could not undo the bad, there were more bad memories than good. But she didn't need to know that.

"I don't like to think about it, I hate them, all of them! They're no family of mine."

"So if your family was taken away from you, you wouldn't grieve, you wouldn't care?" she exclaimed, anger seeping into her voice. He was unbelieveable, arrogant and foolish.

"Some of my family. Uncle Alphard died so Andy's all that's left…but the rest, they can go commit suicide for all I care."

"That's not a nice thing to wish on anybody, no matter how cruel, Some people don't have the luxury of having family." She whispered the last part. She was still in utter disbelief, she couldn't believe that she was an orphan.

"You're lucky that your family was so great, you didn't have much, but they loved you. I can't say that."

They sat there in silence sifting through memories of their familys, the times they got in trouble, the times they laughed, the times they cried. The times they argued and the times they celebrated.

"It doesn't feel real, it feels like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and it'll all be fine." she whispered.

"Maybe not tomorrow, but one day it will be."

"Doesn't feel like it, it doesn't feel like they're even dead!" she exclaimed, her lip trembling. "I just want to have a hug from my mum and for my dad to call me his little princess. But that's not going to happen, just like his never going to interrogate my boyfriends or walk me down the aisle, my mums never going to give me advice on boys or take me shopping or have another coffee with me."

She cried, tears welled up in her eyes for the first time since she read that unforgiving letter, a sob wracked her body as she ran her hands through her messy hair. At last she finally cracked, she felt the blinding pain in her chest, she tasted the saltiness of her tears and felt them dry against her cheeks.

"They're never going to hold my…children, they aren't going to see me g…get m…marri…ed, they aren't go…going to tell me that I've made a mmistake or con…congratulate me, They a-aren't eve...n g..going to see me gra-graduate!" She sobbed, a bubble had formed in her throat and her body was trembling. She felt a pair of strong arms embrace her and pull her towards him, she burrowed her head in his strong chest feeling his heartbeat. The feel of his warmth made her chest ache, she just wanted them back.

"Th…they're nn..never going to tell me they l…love me."

What was he supposed to say, he couldn't say it would get better or than she'd be fine. Nothing he said would make her feel better.

So he just held her.

There was nothing more he could do.

And she was fine with that.

Wow, that was a rollercoaster of feels! I loved this chapter actually, I personally enjoyed the breaks from the depressing stuff and more to interactions between the other characters without Elizabeth. I cringed whilst going over the Mary/Remus scene...oh my it was awful, but I secretly loved it aha! Down below is your usual spoiler!

She could stay in his arms forever.

Who is it hmmmm? Maybe its Lily, Maybe its Liz, Maybe Beverley is back to her old habits, Maybe its Mary? That's for me to know and for you to find out hehe!

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