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"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Her eyes fluttered open before shutting immeadiantly, the sun streaming through the curtains were blinding her. There was too much light, too much light for a time that was plagued by such darkness.

Waking up was nice, for a single moment you could forget the hell you were living in and pretend that everything was okay.

A smile graced her face, today was Tuesday, Ever since first year Tuesday became a day of great importance to her, Tuesday was the day her parents would send a letter.

Parents…

It was as if a large wave of freezing cold water was tipped over her head, her knees buckled under the weight and she collapsed onto her bed. Elizabeth leaned forward , head tipped towards her chest and forearms pressed into her thighs, her skin becoming reddened from the pressure.

The word echoed through her mind,

parents.

The parents she no longer had.

Her eyes were dry, but her chest was aching, it was as if there was a gaping hole in her heart and everytime she heard that word, parents, echo through her mind, a hammer would come and smash her heart, making that gaping hole even larger, even emptier.

It had been five days.

The funeral was over, closure was given. But the grief was still there.

Lily had said that there are five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But she didn't understand, how could someone say that there was a way to grieve, yet not write a handbook saying how to. She wished, oh how she wished that they weren't gone. She would've given anything to see them again, to go back in time for afew moments and warn them, somehow protect them, die for them…

She shook her head, it wasn't right to dwell on this.

Today she was going to go back to classes with her head held high and her mind in its right place. She wasn't going to let those slimy, no good, Death Eater scum know just how affected she was.

They stood out in the transfiguration corridor waiting for McGonagall, on either side of her, her friends stood protectively The marauders, stood right behind thing, not hiding that they had their wands out, ready to hex anyone that was prepared to say anything to her.

"Lils I don't know what to get for your birthday!" Elizabeth groaned rolling her head back, cracking her neck in the process, as the conversation leant towards Lily's upcoming birthday.

"You don't need to get me anything!" she exclaimed and went forward to hug her, "All I need is our friendship and for you to be happy and safe!" Elizabeth rolled her eyes, typical Lily, she didn't have a selfish bone in her body.

"Well if you end up with a shit birthday present you can blame yourself for be-"

"Oi Gilmore! I was missing you and your Mudblood self." Elizabeth huffed and turned away from Avery to Peter who was standing there with his eye twitching, wand in hand. She did not have any patience to deal with the idiotic whelp and hear his taunts and threats.

She turned to Peter who was standing, staring bewildered at the tall boy.

"So Peter, Im craving something sweet and im wondering if you had any recom-"

"Hows mummy and Daddy Gilmore?" he taunted with a cruel laugh, "Did they send any letters recently, oh wait, they're dead" Elizabeths heart started racing her hand started shaking. She willed the tears away, she wasn't going to cry, she wasn't going to be weak. He didn't have the right to see her so vulnerable.

"How's your mummy and daddy Avery, have they stopped gagging at your stench everytime you're in their presence?"

"Shut up!" he exclaimed, a pale flush going across his pale, high cheekbones.

"Oh so you can dish it out but you cant receive it?" she replied scathingly, her face scrunching up in disgust as she looked at him, "No wonder your parents cant stand you, you're a coward. You're a filthy, no good Death Eater! And that's all you'll ever be!"

"Your parents were too weak to fight back Gilmore, too cowardly to stand up for themselves. But then again, they don't have magic so they would've-" At this she pulled her fist back, but before she got there another fist collided with Averys large nose. She turned in shock to see Lily puffing next to her, shaking in knuckles in pain and her cheeks bright red.

"Miss Evans! Mr Avery enough!" A Scottish accented voice yelled from behind them. "Both of you detention!" a muffled voice argued from the floor as he covered his bloody nose, the blood was dripping through his fingers. Damn Lily, you have a good right hook. Her insides were coiling at what he had just said about her parents, but her heart was writhing with sadistic pleasure at the thought of him lying helpless on the floor. She knew it was wrong, but how could she not, when he had caused her much suffering.

"What! I'm the victim here!"

"You most certainly are not! You have no right to taunt another student the way you were, do you want me to take points as well?"

"She was talking back to me!" he exclaimed, using his less bloody hand to point at Elizabeth,

""Don't be such a wimp!" James spat in disgust, shaking his head. "What you did was wrong and if you don't shut your gob I'll give you an extra week of detention with Filch."

"Mr Potter, whose the teacher around here?"

"Sorry Professor." He muttered looking down at his woreout shoes. He never had a comeback to that nifty line she used.

"Nether the less I think Mr Potter is making a decent point, add on a weeks worth of detention with filch starting tomorrow." A groan escaped Avery whom was leaning against the wall dizzy from blood loss. "Mr Carrow, take Mr Avery to the hospital wing." She then opened the door and the class pushed through the door to get good spots.

"Miss Gilmore, are you sure you want to be here?" Professor Mcgongall asked her, her eyes softened as she gazed at her student.

"I'm fine professor." She said with a small smile, Professor Mcginagalls lips thinned and her eyebrow raised. She turned to Lily who was resembling a tomato with approval in her eyes.

"Miss Evans."

"Yeah." Lily looked up through her eyelashes, her cheeks still flushed.

"10 points to Gryffindor for standing up for a friend." A large smile spread across Lily's face as she squeezed her grateful best friends hand. McGonagall looked up at the rest of the students that were standing around, "Well we don't have all day do we?"

After arithmancy Elizabeth and Lily were headed to the library to spend their free period there studying for NEWTS, which were five months away...exactly.

"Hey I just need to go to the toilet." Lily said as they were walking past the Bathrooms, they went in together and Liz went towards the mirror. She probably looked a mess, after all she didn't spend the last five days looking in the mirror, if anything she was avoiding it. She didn't want to see her fathers eyes or her mothers face. It was too painful.

She winced as she saw her reflection, her pale cheeks were hollow from lack of food and there were large bags under her slightly bloodshot eyes. Her lips were chapped and her eyebrows were messy and losing its shape. Her hair was falling from her messy bun perched on her head. She looked awful, no wonder everyone was asking her if she was alright. She certainly didn't look it.

But oddly enough, she didn't care. She couldn't summon the motivation to care. It took too much effort. Effort she didn't have.

Briefly she wondered why none of her friends had mentioned anything.

Lily walked out and looked at her. She cocked her head to the side and spoke. "You still look beautiful."

"I honestly couldn't care less." She waved her off. "Come on, NEWTS are five months away!" As they walked out Elizabeth looked at her reflection once more and knew, she just knew that her parents would be proud of her.

"Lily! I'm bored!" Liz complained her voice muffled by her transfiguration book.

"Its better than being panicked when you leave your work to last minute." She retorted.

"I don't procrastinate! Do you know me at all?" she exclaimed causing Lily to cock her head to the side looking at her with an expression on her face that clearly read 'are you kidding me?'

"Two words, 4th year." At those words Elizabeth felt her face flush. She never wanted to mention that awful year.

"Two words, never again."

"What's never again?" a voice asked behind them, they turned to see Remus and Mary standing behind them with books piled in their hands. They sat down opposite to one another and opened their books. Mary abet hesitantly.

"Fourth year." Lily laughed whilst copying down some notes. Mary started snickering and Remus looked at them confused. They looked at him in shock, fourth year was a very well known year amongst the Gryffindors.

"The year Sirius became a man-whore?" He questioned, Elizabeth snorted at the statement, poor, kind, innocent Remus was being tainted by Mary's foul mouth.

"No!" Lily snickered, "Universally known as the year Elizabeth tried being emo." Then Remus's eyes lit up in recognition.

"Oh yes, the year where you wore black and wore more makeup than all the girls in fourth year put together." The girls shuddered and nodded,

"The piercings." More nods,

"loud muggle music."

"She still does that." Mary laughed, her eyes alight with mischief.

"You can't talk Mary! You steal my music and listen to it when you run!"

"How'd you know about that!"

"I know all, youngling!" she cackled like a mad witch, a large smile plastered on her face.

"Sure you do." She laughed with a bright smile gracing her face.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." She said seriously, lifting her arm and forming a light fist. Mary's smile widened dangerously as she picked up the reference.

"I Apologise, lord Vader." She spoke solemnly, "To disturb you is the worst of crimes." Those around them that knew of muggle popculture were laughing at their exchange causing Madam Pince to yell at everyone and send several of those in hysterics out of the library.

Including them.

The days following weren't as laid back, In fact, it was the opposite.

It seemed that her grief had felt the need to take a break for a day before returning with a vengeance, she felt as though she was being strangled and choked. She spent her hours either studying or in silence. She had barely spoken to anyone, her friends were sneaking her food into the library. One night she even fell asleep and Madam Pince hadn't noticed and locked her in the library. Elizabeth couldn't help but think she noticed and took sadistic pleasure in locking her in.

Anything to take her mind off her parents, off her guilt, off the possibilities, the what ifs.

Elizabeth leant over her Potions essay for Everlasting Elixirs. She reread the text over and over again, but something about it was off, it wasn't good enough, she needed to do better. She leant down under the table to get a sheet of parchment out of her book bag when she heard someone drop a book onto the table causing her to jump and hit her head on the underside of the table.

"You alright there!" she retorted sarcastically whilst rubbing the back of her head, ouch, that bloody hurt.

"No I am not." Sirius's voice retorted back in a non nonsense way, was someone impersonating him with polyjuice. She looked at him sceptically. She'd never heard him sound so serious. She couldn't help but laugh internally at her pun...she was so funny.

"Alright." She dragged on the I in confusion.

"I'm sick of watching you stay locked up in this bloody hellhole." He said causing her to gasp, the library and hellhole, what, how? Excuse him. Seeing her indignant expression he continued, "No its not healthy, you look like you haven't slept in years and you look like you've lost 5 pounds in the last few days! You look like the demented house elves at my parents house." He exclaimed frailing his arms around. Madam Pince turned around and glared at him from his loud yelling.

"Sirius!" she whispered. She knew she looked bad, but that was just harsh.

"No Gilmore." Now that stung, she didn't know why but being called by her last name by him hurt, she couldn't even comprehend why. It was like a physical blow. "You need to get out or your going to collapse from exhaustion."

"I'm fine Black." She muttered harshly before roughly writing on her parchment, he rolled his eyes and glared at her before rougly plucking her quill out of her hand and snapping it. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she exclaimed loudly causing Madam Pince to yell at them to get out but she continued, "THAT QUILL WAS BLOODY EXPENSIVE!"

"I'll get you a new one straight after you go get fresh air." he told her with a smirk, but his eyes betrayed his careless mask, his eyes were full of worry. She stood her ground, looking at him, her face expressionless. He made a split second decision and pulled her over his shoulder like a fireman.

"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?" she screeched whislst kicking her legs around, "IM BEING KIDNAPPED! HELP! HELP ME!" she screamed.

"Oh shut up Gilmore! They all know you need to leave the library anyway."

"KIDNAP! RAPE! HELP ME!" she screamed whilst kicking him. Everyone who passed them looked at them curiously and everyone peered out of windows to see what the commotion was.

Honestly, the school was a madhouse.

He dropped her unceremonially on her backside on the concrete of the courtyard.

"DO YOU HAVE A FRICKEN PROBLEM?" she screamed, that had bloody hurt! "GOSH CANT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST WANT TO STUDY BUT NO! APPARENTLY THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT!" she ranted, Sirius's face got angrier by the moment,

"DO I HAVE A PROBLEM? YS I DO BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE YOURSELF ILL!"

"ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"MERLIN CANT YOU APPREACIATE SOMEONES HELP, I JUST WANT WHATS BEST FOR YOU BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN STUFF IT BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" he exclaimed before storming off, once he was about three meters away her turned around and looked at her in anger. "OH AND YOU MUST'VE LOST TRACK OF THE DATES, ITS JANUARY 30TH, YOU KNOW, YOUR BEST FRIENDS BIRTHDAY!"

Elizabeths stomach dropped at that information, she'd forgotten her best friends birthday.

It completely escaped her mind. Black dots begun to swim in front of her eyes. What kind of person was she if she could forget her best friends, her sisters birthday. Her throat closed up and her chest heaved. She ran her thin hands through her greasy hair which was knotted and flat. Oh god. She was horrible. How could she. She let out a strangled scream when she felt hands on her. She felt her throat tightening

And she succumbed to the darkness.

Elizabeth opened her eyes to see a bright white ceiling that was painstakingly plain. She had to bite back a groan as she leant back into the soft pillow supporting her head. Great, she was most definitely in the hospital wing, if not confirmed by the ceiling, it was by the smell.

"Hey sleeping beauties finally awake." A famillar voice whispered pulling a strand of hair away from her face, Lily, sweet Lily. Guilt coiled in her stomach.

"Lils." She whispered, her voice cracked and she couldn't continue because of how dry her throat was. She pointed at her throat and Lily got the message, she elant over and poured a cup of water and let Liz sip on it before she continued. "I'm sorry for forgetting." She fiddled with a strand of thread fraying from the edge of the sheets in shame, Lily looked at her and hook her head. Her eyes were softened with compassion.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does! I'm a horrible friend!" her head pounded as she raised her voice. Madam Pomphrey came storming in.

"Out Miss Evans! You aren't here to disturb my patient! You should've told me the moment she opened her eyes! Shooo!" she waved Lily out who stayed planted in her spot with an eyebrow raised. "Do I need to escort you out myself Miss evans."

"I'll be Back!" Lily yelled as Madam Pomphrey shooed her out. Liz winced, this was already a long day.

Liz woke up the next morning with Sirius asleep on the couch next to her bed, his head lying on the bed and he was gripping her hand tightly. A small smile graced her face as she looked at his face, he looked so calm and relaxed in sleep. His mouth was wide open and he had drool running down his chin, his hair was sticking up in all places, it was almost as bad as James.

He was beautiful.

Almost five minutes later his eyes fluttered open before he winced at the light and shut them again. A groan escaped his mouth and he stretched with his eyes closed, cracking bones and stretching them. She winced every time he clicked a joint or bone. He opened his eyes and looked at her as she winced.

"Is there something on my face?" he whispered worriedly, his voice husky as he felt around his face.

"Yup, right there." She said as she pointed her finger right at the middle of his forehead. She watched with amusment as his face contorted into panic as he felt around the area. He stopped as she started laughing at his reaction.

"You were bluffing weren't you?" he questioned narrowing his eyes. She nodded through her laughter. "haha very funny."

"Oh I know." It was almost like everything was back to normal, until they fell into an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry." They both spoke at the same time,

"You go." Once again they spoke at the same time before succumbing to laughter.

"Ladies first." Sirius told her,

"Oh then I'm sure you'll do the honours." She replied with a smirk causing him to let out a bark of laughter.

"Oh no I insist." He laughed,

"Well I must concur." She let out a sad smile, before letting out a sigh of resignation. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, it way way out of line, I could've got you into serious trouble and all you wanted was what was best for me. And for that im sorry."

"Its alright, and I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have yelled at you or made you panic, otherwise you wouldn't have collapsed."

"Shall we call a truce?" he questioned looking at him with a smile, they nodded simultaneously in agreement. With a laugh she spoke,

"Shall we shake on it?" she extended her arm for him to shake but instead of shaking her hand he gathered her up in his arms and hugged her, she stiffened up at first before relaxing and wrapping her arms around him as well. She took a long breath and inhaled his scent, he smelt like freshly smoked cigarettes, petrol, the fresh air and wet dog? She'd have to ask about that another time. But it was so welcoming, she felt like this was where she was safe, content, this was where she belonged, in his arms. She felt warm and protected.

She could stay in his arms forever.

Two days later, Liz was out of the Hospital wing, and that's when they decided to celebrate Lily's birthday. Peter and James sorted out a picnic basket from the house elves and bought it down to the willow tree by the lake where they all sat down and were enjoying their time. Laughter was laced through the breeze and could be heard miles off. It was sensually warm for September, the snow had melted away and there was no rain in sight, it was cold yes, but beautiful.

Elizabeth loved when they were like this, happy and laughing without a care in the world. With these wonderful people, she felt at home.

Mary and Remus were holding hands and attempting to feed scones to one another but were failing and dropping cream and jam everywhere causing the rest of the group to both laugh and gag. James was harshly whispering to Peter and Beverley about something where they were reassuring him of something, Sirius was sitting with his back facing Lily as she braided his hair and laced daisies through it. Elizabeth watched in joy as she realized how privileged she was to have these people in her life.

Afew minutes later once Lily was done braiding his hair she levitated a treacle tart to herself but just before she took a bite out of it Sirius snatched it away.

"HEY!" she exclaimed scrunching her face up and leaning over to grab it out of his hand, she leant over so far that she collapsed ontop of him as she tried grabbing it before Sirius in one quite succession shoved the small tart into his mouth without hesitation causing her to gape at him. 'THAT WAS MINE!"

"you can have this instead." He gave her a cute vanilla cupcake with green icing on it. She grabbed it out of his hand and shoved it into her mouth immeadiantly causing the Marauders to look on it horror as she chewed on the cupcake, the girls looked on in wonder as to what was going on. Lily's face scrunched up and she spat out the remains of the crumbled cupcake all over Sirius.

" EW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Sirius with distate picked off a small piece of parchment off his face with his fingers before placing it on her forehead. "BLACK!"

"Just read it Evans!" Lily picked the piece of parchment off her face and read the contents before a small smile graced her face and her cheeks flushed slightly. James sat with an anxious smile on his face. Lily looked at him and walked over before leaning in front of him. She put her hands on either side of his face before looking at him in the eyes and speaking.

"You nearly made me choke to ask me something you could vocalize?" he just nodded in fear of saying something that he would regret. She let her smile grow until the point where her small dimples were showing on her cheeks. James felt his heart beat faster at the delighted expression on her face.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." She muttered underneath her breath before moving her face closer to his. Everyone was leaning forward in anticipation, he must've asked her out…again. Would she say yes, would she say no, who knows? She leant forward and kissed him on the cheek before whispering something in his ear. James face lit up and a large smile appeared on his face.

"Really?" he asked whilst placing a hand over his cheek, she nodded, "merlin's saggy left, I can't believe it!" he exclaimed in shock before hugging her, it only lasted about two seconds because Lily pushed him away. James continued holding his hand to his cheek.

"I'm never washing my face again."

Mutters of disgust went through the group and you could hear Sirius muttering about Greasy gits.

"Potter I wont go out with you if you don't wash you're face."

It was later that night where everyone was gathered around the common room fire laughing at a joke Sirius had made about houseleves that things changed, where the night became a lot darker.

Elizabeth would one day look back on this night and wonder how she had not noticed that this was the night everything started going downhill.

"How can you all sit there and act as if nothing is happening!" Beverley questioned causing everyone to stop talking and look at her, wondering where that statement came from. Everyone was in shock until Mary spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"You're all sitting there so carefree, full of laughter, braiding hair and making flower chains, eating shitloads of food and pretending that there's no war!"

"Why should we let the war dictate our actions now? Soon enough we'll be consumed by it, I like being stress free at the moment." Lily retorted, her cheeks slowly flushing in anger.

"But we are consumed by it! We just don't realize it yet! There are people dying, left right and center. There are death eaters in our school! They know all sorts about us, our friends, our fears, our weaknesses, our strengths. Everything. And they can use it against us." She looked at them, her eyes hardened and back straight. In that moment they realized they'd never seen her look so passionate and brave.

"It's like having one of your best friends become a spy, but the worst part is, you don't know what they know! I can't sit around and wait for us to get picked off one by one, the muggleborns, half-bloods, blood traitor, light pureblood family, blood traitor family, werewolf, and the disowned one. Wow I wonder how long we'll all last." She retorted and pointed at them all at the titles she stated. They all looked around when she said werewolf making sure there was nobody around, the marauders looked at her in anger.

The thought of one of them becoming a spy was heinous, All of them loved each other beyond words and cared for one another immensely. The bond they shared was one of a kind and for that to be broken up... It was too horrible a thought.

"Stop being so negative Beverley!" Lily raised her voice, her fists clenched and lip curled in rage, why now? Why did Beverley need to voice what was going through all their minds anyway.

"I'm not being negative I'm being realistic!"

"If that's what you like to call it." She replied sharply.

"No listen to me, you all may be content to sit around and laugh whilst people die and he finds out about all of us." She put emphasis on he, and shudders went through them. "But I'm not going to sit around, twiddle my thumbs and wait to die."

"I don't want to live every day in fear; there are death eaters within these walls. We are all in danger and when reality finally slaps you all in the face some of us might already be dead." Silence went over them as they listened to her strong words.

"Doing even something small will help in this war. I don't care about me, I just want this to end. I'm going to find out who these death eaters are, and when I do, I'm going to shut them up for good." She raised a fist before turning around and storming up to the dorm with a fire in her eyes.

She was a blazing inferno.

Elizabeth just hoped that she didn't meet fire, because if they did meet, the whole world would go up in flames.

Oh how I love this chapter! I feel like I say that every chapter with my super drawn out authors notes! I'm sorry! I just have so much to say!

So finally some progress between James and Lily! Now Sirius and Liz need to get there act together before one of you jump out of the screen and strangle me for dragging this on for so long! This chapter is a turning point in the story! I wish I could say more but I cant without spoiling! I'm so bad at being subtle.

Now a tiny peek into next chapter!

He wanted to spend the rest of his life kissing Lily Evans.

Now don't worry, I haven't spoiled the entirety of next chapter! So much happens and I know all you shippers are going to be overjoyed hehe!

Don't forget to follow and favourite, as well as leave a review! It only takes a minute to make me the happiest person in the world.

I love you all

Thechosenbibliophile xo