I LOVE ALL OF YOU! This has almost 40 Kudos on AO3, which I'm super excited about~ Continuing at this trend, this *might* end up my most popular fic so far, which is obviously good for me since I'm going to start writing my original novel this summer, and the fact that so many people are reading is a refreshing ego boost ;-)
Please leave a nice comment, leave a kudos, drop me an ask about it on tumblr. Anything you would like to. I am totally open to all of those things.
The walk to the beach was short. Castiel felt like it took forever; everyone who so much as glanced their way erupted into a fit of giggles, or confused staring, or even flat-out gaping at Dean. Cas didn't know how he took all the staring; he felt like he wanted to curl up in a ball and die, just from being close to Dean.
Then again, that wouldn't go on for much longer. Soon they would send out a notice through the "phone" and word of mouth would have everyone knowing that Dean Winchester was, in fact, human, and he was sticking around for a few days. Of course, heaven forbid, people might actually see that as an invitation to come up and try to talk to them. Oh, the horror.
Gabriel and Balthazar were talking in hushed tones the entire way, whispering back and forth and giggling. Cas knew that he shouldn't feel that way, but it somehow felt like he'd been left out of some big joke.
Of course, they'd tried to get Cas to hit on women, but he just couldn't. Or men, for that matter. Nobody ever seemed appealing for just a quick romp in the sheets; Cas didn't see the appeal of fucking and leaving, and more importantly, he didn't see the appeal in a body that he wasn't emotionally attached to.
After what felt like forever, they finally arrived. Over the large tree stump sticking out of the ground, (it had hand holes carved into it so that one could hoist themselves up and over), and then it was in sight.
The sun shone onto the water, making it a hazy blue-green in the light of eleven o'clock. A little bit of fog still stuck around in the area, and Cas could see people splashing around in the pond, feathers getting soaked. He felt a small pang of longing for the feeling of water soaking him down, but he knew that if he were to go and get wet, he would surely get hit on.
"You'd all better be careful." He warned Gabriel and Balthazar. "The last time we were here one of you almost drowned. I'd like that not to get repeated again." He said, matter-of-factly. Gabriel's face morphed into a pout.
"But Cassie, that girl almost gave me mouth to mouth!" He whined. Castiel rolled his eyes.
"Yes, and Balthazar ended up doing it in her place once we found out there was actually water in your lungs." He reminded him, feeling just the slightest bit of amusement creep up. Gabriel and Balthazar, no matter how much trouble they got into, were two of his favorite people. Some of the others here just felt like they were dead.
When Cas was with the other warriors, it was all business. Nobody made jokes, nobody acted kindly. They were expected to be emotionless brick slates who would do as commanded. That was, technically, what they needed to be to protect their kind. Castiel knew that he would be doing right to model himself after those men.
There seemed like there was always a spark of emotion, though, one that he couldn't really control. Very small, buried deep inside of him, but there nonetheless. He had a firm lock on it, but it tended to act up at times like these.
"So, what are we gonna do?" Dean asked, turning to Castiel. Cas's eyebrows furrowed.
"What do you mean by that? Are you not going to partake in their planned activities?" Castiel questioned, gesturing towards where Gabe and Balthazar had gone to change. He could just see the tips of their heads over the bundle of grass concealing them from the other beach-goers.
"I don't have a swimsuit." Dean announced, clapping his hands together. Castiel paused, before realizing what that meant.
"Oh. I forget sometimes that humans have more... regulations than we do. You're allowed to swim in the nude here, so long as you aren't bothering anyone. We don't teach people that nudity is inherently sexual, just that it can be in the right situation. And this is, after all, an adult place. There are other beaches fae take their children to."
"Whoa. So like, all of you guys see a naked chick and don't get...?" Dean trailed off, questioningly.
"Well, most of us still experience sexual attraction, we're just taught to control ourselves in public. But we do still have pornography and things of that nature. We're just a little more civilized." Castiel explained. Dean nodded his head, thinking a little.
"You know, that actually makes sense to me. I mean, I'm still not too keen on the whole, "jumping-in-with-my-dick-hanging-out" thing, but I can see how that could work for you." He said, nodding his head a little. Anna had gone by now, leaving the two of them alone.
"Actually, there are a lot of differences between our two species, not just in mating but in culture and custom. For example, aren't your people's women usually not a part of the working force?" Castiel questioned. Dean made a face.
"Dude, no. That ended a long time ago; women are allowed to do what they want now. I mean, it's still frowned upon in some places, but I'm pretty sure a lot of us are getting over that, at least where I come from. How long has it been since you've had contact with humans, aside from Jo?"
"Our people have been isolated from yours, aside, of course, from people like Jo, ever since they started burning us for "practicing magick"." He mumbled. "I know a great deal of human culture from then, but we know that much has evolved in the last few years. My parents had to deal with a lot from humans that I won't." Cas clarified.
"What do you mean? There's no way your parents were alive a hundred years ago." Dean said, eyebrows knitting together. "You know, actually, when we were burning witches, it would have been even further back than that."
Castiel felt the side of his mouth begin to perk up in the ghost of a smile, and he shook his head. Humans had lost touch with nature and alchemy, rebounding only to religion and science in the past little while. Not that those were necessarily bad things, but the problem was that through this, they had lost the ability to see anything that didn't already fit into their life perspective as irrational.
"Our lives easily span two hundred and fifty years. I'm a hundred and fifty." He said. Dean's mouth dropped open in shock. "And my parents had me very late."
"You-you're." He simply said, blinking hard. His mouth seemed unable to close, and he found Dean's inability to comprehend it all just a little bit endearing. "You're five times older than me."
Castiel did the math in his head. So Dean was... thirty years old? Was that pretty old for a human? Thinking back, he remembered their lifespans being at least to age forty or so... So, he supposed it must be. He felt his stomach sink a little. They had gotten a hold of an old human.
Then again, Jo had said she was pretty young when originally questioned on how long she could supply them, and this human looked like he couldn't be much older than she was.
"Yes. Some may say I'm ancient." He said. Dean was still frozen.
"Why is that? I mean, why are your guys's life spans so much longer than ours?" He asked, frowning a little bit. Castiel paused, thinking.
"Nobody is really sure. We were trying to run tests when they started burning down our cities. The most common theory we have is that being smaller is easier on our bodies. We age much slower." Castiel said, placing a hand on his chin. Actually, talking to Dean... wasn't as bad as he would have expected.
"Well, that's cool. I bet you guys get a lot done in your lives." He said, sounding a little wistful. "I wouldn't want to live that long though, honestly."
"Why not?" Castiel asked. "And some of us do."
"Well, honestly, I would feel tired. After all that time and doing all that studying and living and being around other people, I would get sick of it all. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my life. I have a little brother who's amazing, friends who are awesome, lots of stuff to look forward to. But two hundred and fifty years? I wouldn't be able to do it."
"I can see your point. A lot of us have a very strong sense of purpose." Castiel said wistfully, watching Gabriel and Balthazar splashing each other.
"And you?" Dean asked, looking over at him from the side. "What's your purpose? If you don't mind me asking."
"Me?" Castiel questioned. He thought. Really, there was only one answer. "To serve my people. Keep them safe and keep the fae at peace."
"Yeah, but... What about you? What about them?" Dean asked, staring out at the pond.
"What do you mean?" Cas asked.
"You love them, don't you? You can't live your whole life trying to keep everyone else safe and trying to please everyone else. As much as I agree that that's a noble cause or whatever," Dean said, making a dismissive gesture with his hand, "Does that really make you happy? Because you didn't seem all that smiley about going and seeing Uriel. Your job should make you as happy as they do."
Castiel paused, looking over at Dean. "There are lots of things that you don't understand, but thank you for the advice. I'll... I'll try to keep that in mind."
And for once, Castiel wasn't lying. The things Dean said were things that he needed to consider. He assured himself yet again that his job made him happy, assured himself again that serving his people was his only and ultimate cause, but a very small part of him felt just a little bit less upset by the fact that he was enjoying this.
Once Dean started talking to him, he quickly realized that the guy wasn't all just weirdly-attractive pissy robot. In fact, it seemed like he had a decent sense of humor, and made for good conversation.
As they talked, Dean noticed little quirks. The way he tried to cover up any emotion he had with this blank, robot-face facade. The way he always smiled just a little bit when Gabriel or Balthazar or Anna talked. How, even if he pretended that Dean was a nuisance and should rightfully be somewhere else, not bothering him, he was clearly fascinated by human culture in general.
Dean wasn't lying when he said that he thought Cas should do what made him happy. Cas, no matter how much he wanted to act like a fucking stick in the mud, was actually a big sap. He could see right through it. He really wasn't cut out for the kind of life he was living.
"So, what made you want to go into this field of work? I mean, people don't usually just grow up saying that they want to join the military. What made you interested?"
"Well, it's not really our formal military." Castiel corrected, looking wary. Dean was afraid that he might stop talking if not prompted, and he kept eye contact whenever he could to try and show Cas that he was both paying attention and trustworthy.
"Then what is it?"
"Well, like I said, it's a... Well, we're warriors. It's less organized than the military. We aren't anticipating any fights any time soon, as we're a mostly peaceful people. Fae in general are evolved far beyond humans, to form what we believe to be the perfect society." Castiel said, nodding a little bit. This sounded practiced, rehearsed. As if somebody else's words were in his mouth, and Dean didn't like it.
"Well, there's no way you guys have accomplished that." Dean said, smiling a little bit. "After all, I've not even seen one pie in the time I've been here. If this place were perfect, the whole air would smell like pecan pie." He teased. He was rewarded when a small smile crept onto Castiel's face.
"You have an odd definition of perfection." Castiel mumbled. Then, he paused. "Pie is a human dish, correct? I've heard of it, but I've never tried it myself. The Fae's diet is made mostly of fresh vegetables and meats. We don't have decadence all too often."
"You know, there's another problem with this place. No pie? Dude, I would probably die. This is the worst place ever to get kidnapped." Dean's eyes flickered over to the giggling and splashing fae in the water, large drops of dew gathering on their feathers to create tiny rainbows everywhere. Okay, so maybe that was a gross over-exaggeration. It was, in fact, kind of beautiful here.
"This is the worst place ever to get stuck with a human to babysit." Castiel retorted, and Dean had to snort at that one.
"Ah, so you do agree that it's not perfect," He pointed out. He thought for a moment, debating whether or not it would be okay for him to dig a little deeper. He decided fuck it, and added, "Is there anything else about this place that bothers you?"
Castiel hesitated. Dean could see that he was holding himself back from saying something, wary about whether or not to share something like that with a human that he had just met. After what seemed like forever of Dean hoping and wishing he would be trusted enough to be let into the secret, Castiel opened his mouth as if to speak.
And that was when Gabriel trotted up, soaking wet.
Castiel turned, eyes narrowing at his friend. Soon, Dean found out why Cas had looked suspicious, as Gabriel turned his head upside down and shook it vigorously, causing tiny water droplets to fly off and land onto the two of them. Dean's hands came up to shield his eyes as Cas remained still as a statue, attempting to have no reaction to the assault.
"You're absolutely despicable." He finally said, flatly. Gabriel laughed out loud, his grin stretching from ear to ear. After only a moment of reveling in his annoyance, he turned to Dean.
"So, buck-o, are you getting into the pond? Balthazar and I think that having a human would be the equivalent of having a baby on your hip when it comes to picking up women." Gabriel said. Dean paused, coming up with an excuse so he could keep talking to Cas.
"Y'know, I actually don't have a swimsuit. Sorry but you two are gonna have to go and bother girls out of your league on your own." He said firmly. Gabriel paused before hitting himself in the center of the forehead. However, he looked far less deterred than what Dean had hoped for.
"I forgot to tell you! I actually grabbed one of Cas's pair of swim clothes from my house. You two look like you would be around the same size, so you should be able to join us, as long as Cas doesn't mind you using them." Gabriel said, swinging to look at Cas with puppy dog eyes. Castiel paused, and Dean tried to shoot him a look that said, 'please-help-me-have-an-excuse', but to no avail.
"That wouldn't bother me at all. Dean, please go ahead. After all, you should be immersing yourself in the culture if you have any hope of going home anytime soon." Castiel said. Dean groaned internally, but he put on a smile for the sake of things.
"Alright." He relented. Suddenly, Gabriel was pulling him over and pushing him behind a plant, talking animatedly about how many girls were going to be interested in them being there and how awesome it was that Dean was going to join them. Dean ended up having to physically push him out from behind the grass so that he could change in a little bit of privacy, and he shook his head as he assessed the bathing suit.
It was green and made of a soft material. It was stiff, but that was to be expected, as it was pretty much just a skirt. If he swam too hard, he might end up with... er, awkward areas, exposed. Well, at least he wasn't going to be around anyone that could call him out back home.
Because, as much as Dean Winchester, the voice of logic and reason at most times of the day, hated to admit it, he had started to really believe it was happening. It was crazy and it was stupid and it made his head spin a little bit, but it was real. This had gone on too long to be an acid trip, (not to mention that it was significantly not that crazy, believe him) too much of it felt too damn true.
And, everyone was wearing too much clothing for this to be a typical dream.
If anything in the world was truly real at all, (because Dean's not going to lie, psychology class in high school fucked him up when a kid suggested that the entire world could be just the diseased ramblings of your own twisted mind building something around you in a desperate attempt to stop it's downward spiral into insanity) this was.
Soon, his own clothes lay in a haphazard pile on a stone, and he walked out from behind the bush. Gabriel took a moment to sarcastically whistle, earning him an irritated glare, (mainly irritated because Dean knew that it was something he would have done himself) before he was pulling Dean away.
The water was fucking cold. That was Dean's very first thought, and the only one that really stuck out later when he reassessed the memory. But, also important to note, was that there were leaves lining the bottom and the water was fairly devoid of dirt for a literal giant puddle. All in all, once his body started to adjust, it was a pretty pleasant place to be.
The leaves at the bottom felt a little bit like seaweed, but in a less alarming way. Dean couldn't help but feel a little bit peaceful as the water came up around his waist.
That is, he felt peaceful until Gabriel sprinted forward and did a canon ball right into the center of the pool.
Dean shook off the excess water, laughing a little bit as he did. As soon as Gabriel came back up Balthazar was upon him, shoving him back down into the water, hands pushing down on his head every time he tried to come back up again.
"You bloody imbecile, you ruined my dry hair." He said calmly, as if Gabriel was nothing more than a nuisance. He still worked to push him down. Dean was pretty darn sure that Gabriel was being over dramatic and he could stop Balthazar any time, but this was just the way that they functioned. Ninety percent of the time, they were pretty much doing improv scenes between themselves.
Dean could relate to having a friend like that. He and Sam used to tease each other all the time before he moved out. He would pull Sam's head underneath his arm and give him a noogie, or Sam would throw a pillow at his head.
Suddenly, a small wave of loneliness crashed over him. It was bittersweet; the happy memories kept coming, but with them the knowledge that, under it all, Dean was lonely. Sam had been gone for far too long and he was by himself in an apartment that was too big for just one person. It seemed like, on the bad nights, his voice echoed off the walls and his steps were the only to have ever walked the halls.
"You need to control your anger issues." Gabriel teased once Balthazar had gotten sick of repeatedly pushing his head under the water. "Maybe you need a hug and a big bottle of whiskey. You're a fun drunk."
"You're just saying that because last time I drank, I hit on you for two hours straight because I thought you were a pretty lady." Balthazar said suggestively. Gabriel raised his eyebrows.
"You didn't think I was a pretty lady. You just like me and you're afraid to admit it. It's okay Balthazar, you can feel free to let your true feelings show. Nobody is going to judge you for it." Gabriel said, as if he was straight-up quoting a lifetime movie. Balthazar gave a sigh and looped his arms around Gabriel's shoulders, pulling him closer.
"What can I say, honey, you just see right through me." He said, leaning forward to rub noses with the shorter man. Gabriel eagerly returned it.
"So wait," Dean said, trying to get a feeling for what exactly was going on. "Are you two really...?"
"Oh, god no." Balthazar said, leaving his hands casually around Gabriel's neck. Gabriel smiled a bit, as if they had gotten that a lot. "We're just incredibly comfortable around each other. Gabriel is like the stepbrother my parents never quite fancied as well as me. He's just darling."
"But that is socially acceptable in your... in your guy's "culture" or whatever?" Dean questioned. Balthazar and Gabriel shared a look.
"Yes, yes it is. In fact, we have our suspicions about dear old Cassie over there." Balthazar informed him. Dean glanced back to Castiel, who was staring off to the side, something clearly going through his mind. Dean felt a little bad that he was all alone there, with nothing to do.
"I don't know, I don't really get that vibe from him. Maybe something other than straight, but not gay or bi either. And, uh, that's what I am. Bi." Dean admitted, giving a small shrug. No matter how accepted it was, he still felt a little nervous when he came out to people. He'd gotten some bad reactions in the past.
His least favorite ones, of course, were the people who immediately stuck a label onto his head. They assumed he was effeminate or that he was hitting on every guy he so much as glanced at. A girl once asked him to go shopping with her, and he had barely even spoken to her beforehand.
And yeah, Dean liked some generally "effeminate" things. He jammed to Taylor Swift every once in awhile and he would admit (though not out loud) to liking the feeling of satin panties around his hips. But that didn't mean he was immediately a flaming stereotype.
"That's cool. What else is there, though?" Gabriel questioned, tilting his head to the side. Dean paused.
"Well, like, I don't know the names but I know there's other stuff. Like I have a friend who's pan." Dean said, his mind drifting to Benny. "I really only make a point to memorize them if I know someone who's like that. But I do know other stuff exists." He mumbled. He could always look up definitions on the internet, anyways. Well, I mean, usually he could.
"What's pan?" Gabriel asked, and then quickly added, "And just to clarify, it has nothing to do with kitchen utensils, correct?"
"It means you have "equal attraction to all genders"." Dean said, remembering Benny using those same exact words when explaining everything to him. "Or something like that."
"Oh. That sounds cool. So what's the difference between that and being bi?" Gabriel asked, again. Balthazar decided to butt in.
"Our society may be advanced in what it accepts, but unfortunately it does have the flaw of being fairly isolated. We can't really be certain of what all is out there because we have no way of getting in contact with a broader range of people. Humans can come up with this stuff through a luxury we don't have. It probably sucks to not know what you are because you feel like you're the only one." He mumbled.
Dean didn't miss the way his eyes flickered to Cas. Okay, so Cas most definitely was not straight, and he'd told Balthazar something about it. That made Dean's stomach do a weird little dance. Maybe they hadn't realized before that Cas was officially "queer" because he was under the impression that whatever he was wasn't "normal"?
He would have to be delicate about bringing it up, but Dean would make sure before he left that he found out what exactly was going on over there.
It wasn't long until lounging in the pond became breaking for lunch. Cas flew back to his house and made everyone sandwiches, (cucumber and some weird spread that Dean had never heard of, but tasted okay) grabbing himself one of those old, leather-bound books to read.
Lunch went well. Anna came over with a couple more friends, one named Gilda, who Dean immediately fell in love with, and one who Dean couldn't honestly remember. Gabriel and Balthazar halfheartedly hit on them, but they didn't really seem like they were all that into it.
In fact, from what Dean saw, this trip was more about swimming and less about picking up babes.
At the end of their day out, (around seven o'clock, from what Dean could tell), they were all exhausted. They had built "sand" castles out of dirt, made a small shack out of leaves, and swam themselves to death. Everyone was ready to go home and hit the hay, and Dean was no exception.
Cas, however, had spent the entire day reading. Dean had managed to sneak a glance at the book clutched tightly in his hands, and he discovered that it was some kind of "Warrior's Code" manual or something like that. He made a face when he saw it.
Their feet dragged on the walk back. The sun, though still having a couple more hours to shine, was painting the sky a nice, light orange to pink colour.
It was then that Dean realized that he was ravenous.
"Do you have any of those sandwiches left, Cas?" He complained, walking ahead and tapping Cas's shoulder. Castiel checked into the bag that he had brought before he shook his head no. Dean let out a loud groan, almost measured by the rumble his stomach gave off. "I'm starving, dude."
"If you would like to stay with Gabriel and eat him out of house and home, he's the closest. If you intend to stay with me, you'll have to wait another twenty-five minutes while we walk home." Cas informed him, voice steady and giving away no indication of which he would prefer.
Dean thought. If he didn't go home with Cas tonight, Cas would probably spend the entire time reading that stupid work book. He didn't know how Cas could deal with such dry material; it couldn't possibly be good for him.
And that just about decided it, didn't it? Because Cas needed somebody to save him from his taste in books, if only for the night..
"No, man, you're the best cook I know. I want to stay with you. It's just that I haven't had this much aerobic exercise since the coach made us run two miles in high school." He teased. Castiel looked a little confused.
"You have well-developed muscles. Are you implying that you don't train?" He questioned. Dean felt a little bit of heat rise to his cheeks. Glancing back, he saw that the other three were too tired to really be paying attention to the conversation, and he was grateful for both of their sakes nobody had heard.
"Well, my job requires me to do a lot of lifting. I'm a mechanic. But that's a whole 'nother world from swimming for seven hours straight." Dean informed him, stretching.
"You didn't swim for seven hours straight, you took periodic breaks. Maybe you need to get into better shape." Castiel shot back, all in good jest. Dean placed a hand on his chest, pretending to be offended.
"How dare you. I bet I could take you." He challenged, putting up his fists. Castiel looked at him like he was stupid.
"I know for a fact that you can't, but we'll save proving it for another time. That is, if you want to get home and eat any time soon." He said. Then, unexpectedly, "Goodnight, Gabriel."
Dean turned to see Gabriel walking off the path, towards his own home. He mumbled something unintelligible as he moved towards the door like a zombie in search of brains.
Dean's stomach gave another growl, making up his mind for him. "Yeah, another time."
When they got home, Castiel briefly picking Dean up bridal style and Dean shutting his eyes tightly as they rose into the air, Dean immediately collapsed onto the couch.
"Do you still want food, or are you too tired?" Castiel questioned. To Dean's utter relief, as he said this, he slipped the book back onto it's shelf.
Dean's stomach gave a powerful growl, and he knew that if he didn't eat now he would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to find shit to eat in Cas's kitchen. God, did he hate the idea of that happening.
"I think I need to eat something or else I'm gonna pass out. Will you be angry if I fall over and accidentally knock your coffee table down?" He questioned, looking at it. He could practically hear Cas rolling his eyes in the background.
"I highly doubt you're that affected by being tired. You need to stay sitting down, though." Castiel warned. Dean wondered what would happen if he were to stand up right now, specifically to defy Cas. Probably nothing good.
In about fifteen minutes, he had a steaming hot plate of something sitting in his lap. He didn't even bother with the "this might be poisoned" this time, just digging in. Which, was probably stupid, but he had begun to trust Cas. Even if he had only known him for a day.
"So, what's on the agenda for tomorrow?" Dean asked, deciding that he was a little too worked up about this whole thing in general to sleep right that second. Learning about them and their culture was actually sort of... well, exciting. And, okay, wow, that sounded nerdy as fuck.
"Well, nothing as rigorous as today." Castiel said. Dean wasn't quite certain as to whether or not it was a joke. "We're going to take you around to see a couple of popular odd jobs. Lots of fae are craftspeople, since we don't function off of machine-made products like your kind tends to." Cas stated.
"That sounds cool. You mean like, painters and stuff?" Dean clarified. Castiel paused.
"Well, sort of. There are a great deal more jobs than just paining." He informed Dean. Dean paused, starting to feel the first dregs of sleep begin to wrap around him and take hold. He wanted to fight it, if only to stay up and keep talking to Cas, but the food sat heavy in his stomach and it was a nice, warm night.
"I'm sorry, but I gotta hit the hay before I start hallucinating, man." Dean said, simply letting his body fall over onto the couch. "I mean, my hallucinations would probably be less crazy than reality right now, but that doesn't mean letting them happen is a good idea."
"I understand. Do you need something to cover up with, or...?" Castiel questioned. Dean shook his head no. He was in the same clothes as he had been in before this whole thing, and he had no problems sleeping in his jeans if he needed to.
"Goodnight, Cas." Dean said fondly, snuggling into the couch's throw pillow. He didn't even bother to take off his shoes, and his hair was still a little wet, but he could probably fall asleep on a rock right about then.
"Goodnight, Dean." Cas said.
And if he wasn't mistaken, Dean thought that there was a hint of fondness in that, too.