Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.
A/N: Warning, this chapter contains some disturbing material involving assault that may be offensive to some.
Quick note, if there are reviews that are attacking other reviewers, call other people names like a child would do and is not about the story, I will start deleting them. I will not tolerate attacks to the other reviewers.
Reviews, critiques and flames are welcome. I absolutely love all reviews about the story as it gives me motivation, I use good constructive criticism to help my writing improve and I feed the flames to the fires of my imagination.
Thanks to my before posting beta Queen of Jokers and my after posting beta SubZeroChimera!
"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." –May Sarton
Chapter 55
Aerith and Tifa had Zack on his side and watched as his body bounced over the bumps in the road. As the group drove toward town, Aerith and Tifa didn't talk much. Zack looked so fragile, like he would break apart any minute. He was on the verge of death and they all knew it. Aerith seemed to be praying and Tifa just stared and got lost in her thoughts.
Tifa's hand rested on Zack's arm and his skin was cold, she tucked the blanket back around his shoulders. He looked nothing like the Zack she had first met all those years ago in Nibelheim. When he showed up at the apartment door in a Turk uniform, he wasn't even close to that Zack anymore. Not crying by just looking at him was getting difficult as her memories flashed.
Yuffie broke the silence as she tried to sound upbeat, trying to lighten the mood even if only a little bit, "I knew he would clean up pretty good. I bet once he gets some weight on him he wouldn't be able to keep the girls from falling all over themselves to get to him." Nothing came from the other two girls. Yuffie decided to just stay quiet.
Cloud and Sephiroth rode side by side and neither looked at the other. Getting closer to Nibelheim, they ran into a monster. Neither of them had ever seen any monster like this one. Cloud signaled to Barret in the truck that they were stopping. Getting off their bikes, they both pulled their swords. The monster blocked them from passing, so they decided to dispose of it quickly.
Barret jumped out and joined Cloud and Sephiroth, "What the hell is that?" Barret said as he ran up next to them. It had bright red fur and a long tail that lit up in a flame at the end of it. It was large, and looked like a monster in the cat species.
"I have not seen any monster like this one before," Sephiroth flanked it to the right and Cloud flanked to the left. Barret stayed and covered from the front, "I hope you fight better than that bull behemoth a few miles back, I have some built up rage to work out," Sephiroth was ready to release his anger in a torrent of fighting.
"Why do you want to fight me?" The monster spoke and studied them, "Very well, if you wish to fight, I will kindly oblige," It took up a defensive position.
All three men stood with their mouths agape. Barret pointed, "It talked?"
"I am not an "it," I am Nanaki," It maintained its stance.
Sephiroth kept his sword trained at the creature and took a single step forward, "Where are you from? We have never met any of your kind."
"As far as I know, I am the only one of my kind left," Nanaki relaxed his stance and the other two did too.
Sephiroth swept his hand around the group, "I am Sephiroth and my friends call me Seph. This is Barret and that is Cloud."
"You can call me Red. Most people do," Red pointed his muzzle toward the truck, "You aren't from Shinra are you?"
"No, we escaped from Shinra," Cloud stated as he replaced his sword back in the harness.
"I am on my way to Nibelheim to do some research into Shinra and its projects. I want to find out more about their intentions toward me and the planet and I have heard that they have a research facility there," He sat down and his good eye focused and studied each of them in turn.
"They're after you too?" Cloud wasn't too surprised, Shinra was well known for their stance on research. They explained their situation to him as best as they could, leaving out the more embarrassing aspects.
"I would love to join you in your journeys, any way I can find out more. Perhaps it will make my own journey more intriguing," Red started walking with them back to the truck.
Barret indicated toward the truck, "There is still room in the back of the truck if you want to hop in."
Sephiroth pulled back the drape and addressed the girls, "We have another passenger."
Red jumped into the back and Yuffie screamed out, "What?"
"Calm down miss, I am not going to hurt you. I am going to Nibelheim as well," Red made himself a spot close to the back.
Aerith looked up from her prayers, "Welcome."
Red looked back at her, "An ancient? I thought the ancient race were extinct." Aerith smiled and shook her head.
Cloud looked over at Tifa and she knew what he wanted to know, "There hasn't been any change." His shoulders dropped slightly, and he turned and went back to his bike. Once the caravan started up again, the girls filled Red in on the rest of the general happenings.
Reaching the outskirts of town, a cold chill went down Cloud's spine, he had to stop. Sephiroth and Zack had both told him that the town had been rebuilt, but to actually see it was shocking on a level that made him want to vomit. All the memories of his mother washed him in grief and then there was Tifa.
When the caravan stopped, she hopped out of the truck and joined him on the side of the road. Cloud could feel all the eyes on his back, waiting for him to be ready to carry on. Tifa shook next to him and without looking he knew she was crying, he fought it, but a few tears slipped past his defenses. Tifa's hand slid into his and she turned her face to cry into his shoulder. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, but he was so wrapped up in his own, that she was left to her own sadness.
Sephiroth stayed back, he himself had the thick feeling of bile backing up into his system at the first sight of town. Not wanting to deepen their already fragile states, he waited patiently for both of them. As it got later, they broke camp, going into town would have to wait until the waterfall of fiery memories slowed to a trickle.
Not until late the next day was either of them ready. Cloud parked his bike outside the inn and went in to get some rooms for the night. Sephiroth got the girls out of the truck and started unpacking what they would need for the night. There was no military presence at all. They thought it weird, but Hojo was weird too. Cloud came out with three keys, "We are going to have to share again."
Aerith stood next to Tifa with her arm around her shoulders. Tifa looked tired and stressed and Tifa's deep brown eyes looked around town expectantly and she shuddered. Aerith quickly raised her hand, "I call that the girls share one room and you boys decide how you'll split."
Cloud and Sephiroth nodded, "Cloud, Zack and I can take one room. Red, Barret and Harding take the other." Harding rolled his eyes at the thought of having to share with Barret again, "Does that sound fair to everyone?" Everyone except Barret and Harding nodded. Sephiroth looked over at Barret and asked, "Would you rather take the room with the guy who's insane and libel to do anything?"
Barret glanced at Harding and back to Sephiroth, "Since ya put it that way, I think it will be fine to share with Mr. Wizard over here." Barret was less than thrilled, but Sephiroth made a good point and Cloud agreed.
Making their way to their rooms, Cloud had Zack over his shoulder and made his way into the room. He got Zack on the bed and sat down next to him and began taking his own boots off. He got a little bit of food and water down Zack then he settled him into the pillow, "Seph, I don't like being back here. Tifa feels the same way, I know it."
Setting the bags down on the chair, "I know, but we have to find out what Hojo was up to. Zack was on his way here for a reason," He got out some sleep pants, "Maybe we can figure out what Jade is up to as well." He walked into the bathroom to shower.
Cloud maneuvered Zack under the covers and sat with his chin resting in his palms. Getting lost in his thoughts, he failed to hear Sephiroth exit the bathroom, "The shower is all yours." Cloud jerked out of his thoughts and got up and grabbed his sleep pants and got his shower started. As he let the water run over him, Zack popped into his head. What had Jenova done to him? Would he and Sephiroth end up insane also? The towel was soft as he dried himself and he got his sleep pants on.
Sephiroth had already gotten in his bed and his eyes were closed. Cloud climbed under the covers next to Zack and turned the light off. He sighed and listened to the breathing next to him. The rhythm lulled him to sleep. During the night, Cloud woke up to a light weight on his chest. He opened his eyes and Zack had rolled over and rested his hand on his chest. Looking over at him, he appeared to be sleeping. Cloud put his hand on top of Zack's and squeezed it lightly, "We'll get you fixed up, okay."
At first light, everyone trickled outside to the well in the middle of town. Tifa was noticeably uncomfortable, and her frequent glances at Sephiroth let him know it. Cloud stepped up, "Alright, everyone listen up. Me, Seph and Harding are going into the mansion. Tifa, Aerith, would you two stay with Zack? If he starts acting funny, get out of there and call my phone. The rest of you check around town and see what info you can come up with."
Harding tapped Cloud's arm, "I think we should take Zack with us."
"Why? What if there is something down there?" Cloud didn't try and hide the alarm in his voice.
Sephiroth crossed his arms, "Why do you think that?"
"Well, some of the equipment might be able to help," Harding adjusted the strap to his back pack.
Cloud adjusted his harness and added as he squirmed at the thought of going down into the labs again, "Yeah, help him go into a PTSD coma."
Harding insisted, "We can bring along another person, if you want."
Tifa looked over at Cloud and he looked back at her. His face tensed and he shook his head no. Sephiroth suggested, "We could bring Red along," Cloud seemed to relax at that suggestion. "Red is that alright with you?" Red nodded and stepped closer to Harding and Sephiroth.
Cloud pointed at Barret, "Barret, you know what kind of info we need. I know I can count on you." That seemed to calm Barret's eyes from the hurt he felt for not being picked to go to the mansion. Sephiroth went back in and picked Zack up and met everyone back at the well.
Cloud took Tifa by the hand, "I'm sorry, I just can't take you in there."
Tifa could sense the tension, "Cloud, I understand. That place is a great source of pain for you. Just remember that you're not a captive, remember your promise." He gave her hand a squeeze, turned and walked with the group into the mansion.
Sephiroth and Cloud took the stairs slowly and cautiously, when the entrance and the stairs leading down came into view, both of them shivered in fright and disgust. Sephiroth readjusted Zack on his shoulder and headed down the stairs and through the cavern. Once the hallway was in view, they froze.
Harding went on and then stopped when he realized that they weren't with him. He looked back at them and a chill went down his back. Their eyes were wide, they shook lightly and their faces frozen in a memory. Red stepped around them and went to Harding, "Let's go ahead and look for what you came here for. It is obviously deserted so there shouldn't be any danger." Harding headed off into Hojo's office.
Cloud finally found words, "Seph, where do we need to go?"
Sephiroth shook his head slowly, "I guess we can start in the infirmary. The medical records may still be in there." They walked with hesitation down the hall, past the cell that they all shared and seeing the gym door just barely around the corner, sent a chill down Cloud's body. As they passed into the last hallway, Sephiroth detoured down the hall toward the isolation cells. He put Zack down and leaned him against the wall.
"Hey Seph, where you going?" Sephiroth didn't say anything. He walked past the isolation cells and stopped in front of an open single cell that Sephiroth had occupied. Cloud approached him, Sephiroth's face glazed over as he just couldn't tear his eyes away from the cell. Cloud could see that it was a smaller cell, one bed and a bathroom in the back. Sephiroth's trance didn't break. Memories that he had blocked and had long forgotten surfaced…
The hours he spent in here seemed endless. The things that happened in there seemed endless. It all seemed to start when he woke up in this cell, cold, naked and disoriented. Still in a haze, he'd curled up in a ball and wrapped his arms around his legs. He heard the door open, barely having the strength to open his eyes, he saw two men standing there, looking at him, "I told you… It's Sephiroth. Wow." The other one said nothing; he went over and poked him in the arm. His muscles tight, he flinched away from him and closed his eyes again, "We can do this! If we make enough, we can get our plans underway. What do you think?" They studied him a little longer and left. He fell back to sleep.
He'd been dragged back to his cell from the lab after Cloud had a double injection of mako. In pain and wanting to just either sleep or die, his thoughts went to Zack and Cloud. They'd said that he killed innocent people and burned an entire town down to the ground. He writhed on his bed; he tried not to think, in hurt too much. He did have more mobility than Cloud did. What was happening? Thoughts kept coming and he just couldn't drop it, at least not knowing what happened.
He must've finally drifted off. He rolled slowly over to his side and tested his body's mobility. Able to move pretty well, he sat up. He said to himself, "Hojo never touched me, yet I felt pain as he hurt that boy." He just wanted to remember, but at the same time, he didn't. A screeching sound began to quietly hum in his head, "This is giving me a head ache, trying to figure this out." The screeching slowly became a screaming and his head began to throb, as though it would explode and the pain just seemed to get worse. He dropped to his knees and held his head. The scream built up as the pain increased until it finally broke its way through.
As he laid there in the midst of the agony, he started to feel it eventually fade, slowly. While still lying on the floor on his side, his hands were full of his hair as they clutched the side of his head. Abruptly, his eyes widened and he sat up in a short movement. It hit him, "Jenova…"
It all came back to him, the fire, the screams and the… blood. Innocent blood, Cloud's blood, Zack's blood, and his blood mixed together in his memory and washed over him in a torrent. He inhaled and held it, by his hand. He had done the terrible things he was accused of. How? Jenova, it all revolved around her.
He was comfortable, somewhat warm and thinking about when he finally got to see Zack and Cloud, during a trip to the lab. Because Zack had to ask a smart-ass question, he then got to visit with Cloud a little. Well, at least until it was his turn to visit the bathroom so Hojo would keep his probe to himself. Cloud had every right to hate him. Sephiroth hoped that Cloud would be able to recover and heal. Cloud had at least listened.
His sleep was disrupted when his cell door opened. Two men stood there, "Hey wake up!" One of them kicked at the bed.
Sephiroth sat up quickly and asked harshly, "What is going on?"
"Well, you are going to help us," One playfully elbowed the other one, "You see this?" He held out a pair of shackles, "Get up and turn around." The other guy pulled him off the bed and down to the floor. Now on his knees, the shackles were put on his ankles. His hands were pulled behind him and restraints were put on his wrists. He was put on his bed again, "Now, you are going to cooperate with us or someone might get hurt."
"Go ahead, hurt me, you can't do much worse than Hojo has," His eyes were narrow and his face stern.
"It's not you we're going to hurt. Cloud and Zack are in the other cell and they will get seriously hurt. You can prevent that as long as you work with us." He stood straight and stared at Sephiroth waiting.
"Who are you?"
"We're just men who have dreams, and needs," He smiled.
"A sick bastard is what you are," Sephiroth spit out, the disgust crept into his flesh.
"No, you call me Master," He went over with a baton and put it under his chin and lifted until he could see Sephiroth's eyes, "Let me hear you say it." Sephiroth pushed his lips together tightly and sat quietly. "Oh, you're gonna be difficult, well we will show you a little of what those two are going to get," The other guy yanked out a knife and cut his shirt off. The one that called himself Master took the EMR baton and began to shock him over and over, until it had run out of charge.
Sephiroth lay on the floor, his muscles still stiff from all the electricity that had run through it. His breathing was fast and raspy. Through clenched jaws, "What do you want?"
"Call me Master," When Sephiroth still withheld the answer he wanted, the other guy handed him another EMR baton, "Your buddies are going to get this plus some really nasty stuff. So call me Master." To highlight what he meant by 'nasty stuff' he put the baton on Sephiroth's rear end. He firmly wedged the baton between his butt cheeks and the subsequent shock was a new kind of terrible pain, "Only they won't be wearing any shorts and I'll see just how deep this can go," A weak grin passed his face just before he took a hold of Sephiroth's hair and pulled him into a kiss. Sephiroth wiggled his head, but the guy held on.
Once the guy let go, Sephiroth's eyes went to his face and began wondering if friendship was worth this. 'Is this what friends do for each other?' He thought that he wanted Cloud and Zack to be his friends. He'd witnessed a few things between them, the trust, caring for each other; did he really want it that bad? The thought of them going through this or worse, as the man had threatened; he didn't know if he could knowingly let it happen to someone else.
If he could prevent it, could he set his pride aside and take one for the team? His thoughts went to Annabelle and that he would have done anything for her. The closeness he felt toward Zack was because he reminded Sephiroth of Annabelle's fiery personality. If it had been Annabelle instead of Zack and Cloud on the receiving end of his refusal to cooperate, there would be no hesitation on his part. If he did want friends and have that affection from another human being again, he would have to start somewhere.
He felt as though he'd already caused both Zack and Cloud them enough pain. With a mouth full of anger, his eyes burned with fury, he spit out, "Master."
"There, now was that so hard." He squatted down to Sephiroth's position on the floor. When he moved his face closer, Sephiroth recoiled, "This is how you're going to help us. We are going to bring friends here and you are going to cooperate with them." He tapped Sephiroth's hip with the baton, "Aren't you?"
His anger was surfacing and he began to shake, his teeth gritted together and made a scraping sound from the force he put on them, "Yes."
Master tilted his head, "Yes what?"
With the fury still burning in his eyes, he said, "Yes, Master." The taste of his dignity turning to submission in his mouth was bitter.
"Good, now we have a guest, you're going to entertain him. Aren't you?" Master was still holding the baton that now rested on his ribs.
"Yes, Master," Sephiroth didn't know if this was the angriest he had ever been, but it was close.
Master looked up at the other guy, "Go ahead and get our guest in here."
After a few minutes, Sephiroth raised himself back on to the bed. He sat there, livid. A man walked through the door and his eyes grew wide. A smile came across his face. He turned to Master, "It really is him isn't it? That is fantastic! Well worth the money."
The door shut and it was just Sephiroth and the man. The man walked over and pulled him up by his shoulders to standing. He threw a punch and Sephiroth staggered and held himself up by the side of the bed. The beating continued until the man exhausted himself. Most of the hits, he'd sustained below his neck. The man's knuckles were bloody and that was when Master came back in when the man indicated that he was finished. After he left, Master came over and shook him, "We will see you next week, after you heal up." His shackles were removed then. Thanks to his mako enhancements and a Soldier physique, he healed rapidly, but it didn't diminish the pain.
The next time Master came, he had two men with him. They shackled him and he took the beating. He probably looked worse than he felt after, but he didn't bother getting up to look. Master and his lackey, rolled him over and removed the shackles. He just lay there quietly on his stomach as they left and felt his pride fall farther and farther from his grasp. The cold tile floor soothed his head and his eyes followed the line that the grout filled, over to the wall. The door stood right there, locked and sealed. Small pieces of him went with the bastard that called himself Master every time he walked back out the door.
Drake, the quiet one, came for him one day, and his eyes got wide at his condition. Taking him down to the lab, Hojo ran his tests and injected him with mako, Jenova cells, clear stuff and black stuff. Hojo mistakenly took Sephiroth's physical condition as him picking a fight, "Now S, for acting up," He gestured to his face, "You will be punished." Sephiroth raised his eyes up to him, and he had only contempt for Hojo. He turned his face away from him and said nothing, "You're not going to protest? Hmmm?"
Hojo left and Davis and Drake took him to the solitary confinement cell. It kind of made him laugh, what was the difference? He was alone anyway. The only difference was he didn't have a bed or bathroom. He didn't know how long he was in there before Master showed up. He took him across the hall to his old cell and the beating began.
Master's next guest was a smaller man and the things he did were nothing short of torture. Not only was he shackled, but he had Sephiroth bend his knees and tied his ankles to his hands behind him. The man then tied him to the railing to the bed so that he couldn't wiggle away. The man had stripped him down and sliced and carved at his stomach and chest. He had also taken small slices of his skin as a trophy.
Sephiroth laid there and tried not to breathe too hard, as it stretched his already raw skin and muscles. When he was finally done, the man untied him from the bed and he was left out on the floor bleeding. When Master came back in, even he was shocked at what he'd done. Sephiroth knew that Master had heard his screams, but still did nothing, all so he could make money and the other guy that seemed to always be with Master put ointment and bandaged him up. It was then that Master made a rule that they couldn't leave marks.
It continued even after Hojo and Dr. Chase moved him to Zack and Cloud's cell. The fact that Cloud's body reacted to Sephiroth's attempt on his own life; he wondered how he didn't feel any of the beatings. Thankfully, he would only come for him one to three times a month. Master would show up after Zack and Cloud were asleep and take Sephiroth down to the single cell. Many of the visitors were repeats and just beat him. Some just wanted to torture him, because of some vendetta against Shinra. Some even took souvenirs like locks of his hair, or they took pictures. When evidence would show up on his face or arms, Zack and Cloud would give him puzzled looks and he was able to just explain it away.
After his arrival in the shared cell and he found out about Cloud being Maria, the laughter helped him. It told him that maybe he did make the right decision to protect Zack and Cloud any way he could. In the time they were all three in the one cell, they had started to break down his walls that he erected to keep people out. As they chipped it away, he began to feel more human and he liked the way they made his heart feel. He felt successful in making friends, but there were times during the beatings that he wavered very slightly. He shrugged it off and held his decision firm just as Zack would for Cloud and maybe even Sephiroth too.
Losing count on how many times Master came with his "guests," he figured that there would be those guests who didn't want to just beat him that he dreaded. He braced himself for that possibility and every time a guest would show up, he wondered if this was it. Inevitably it finally happened. He hadn't fought it. He figured if he had, it would have been worse for him, Zack and Cloud. To his great relief, it was only a total of two times. Thankfully the beatings were predominating; it seemed the idea of beating up the General seemed more appealing.
After the first man left him exposed, bleeding and humiliated, Master told him to shower and get dressed. He had to get him back to the cell before Zack and Cloud woke up. Master took him back to the cell. When his shackles were taken off, he stumbled into the bathroom while holding onto the walls. Sitting on the floor across from the toilet and he wept in silence. Sharp pains in his rear end and the lower back pain tensed all his muscles. Again his loyalty to Zack and Cloud wavered. He couldn't and wouldn't go through that again and not know if they even cared about him at all.
Cloud had gotten up to get a drink of water and caught him sitting on the floor, "What's the matter?" Cloud reached out to him.
Quickly wiping at his face , he lied, "Oh, it's nothing, I just wasn't feeling well." He hid his eyes.
Cloud reached down and pulled him up to his feet and put his arm around him, as they walked Cloud said, "Well go lay down and try and get some rest, you look terrible." Cloud's small smile didn't go unnoticed. He tried to hide the fact that he had a difficult time walking. His bruised and broken ribs from a beating two days before and the assault that night were thankfully hidden under his shirt.
Once Cloud had gotten him to his bed, he turned to leave for the other side of the room and Sephiroth grabbed his hand, "Could you stay here with me… for a little while?"
A confused look crossed Cloud's face, but with a reassuring smile he said, "Sure, scoot over." Cloud lay down next to him and Sephiroth kept a hold of his hand. When Cloud had stayed with him without hesitation, he knew that Cloud did see him as a friend. That was all it took for him, not only could he see Cloud express his feelings of friendship, but he could feel them also. He had to make sure that Master wouldn't hurt them. Still holding Cloud's hand, he finally fell asleep.
A month after Davis died; thankfully, Master seemed to have either lost interest or was transferred. Once Sephiroth was alone again in the single cell, he slept with his eyes pointed at the door, from then until the day they escaped.
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