Lucy had finished showering, actually feeling a million times better after the hot scalding water ran down her skin.

She knew Negan had several hookups to different trailers and tents around the camp with hot water heaters. The one luxury she was allowed was to have hot showers, which in this hot sticky weather she was always thankful for. Ever since that night that she told Negan she loved him he had allowed her a tiny bit of trust as well as freedom. It wasn't much, but more than enough for her. The only times he allowed her to use a razor was whenever he was in the bathroom with her. Now large and clumsy, she struggled shaving her legs. Negan helped even though she felt embarrassed and often told him she was perfectly fine. Negan as always, jammed in the tiny shower with her would tell her he didn't mind and was an expect at shaving and could do it ten times quicker than her. Often she gave up, and had to admit when he did shave, usually squatting down, in front of her making her turn underneath the showered, he always left her legs nice and smooth, never cutting them which she had begun to do once her stomach started getting in the way. She spoke up once saying she felt embarrassed him doing that. Laughing, he would shake his head like a dog, hair dripping wet before cupping her face and planting a wet sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"Honey, I like a nice smooth body, it's more of a service for me. Besides our boys are making it hard for you to get around. I understand."

As always he would wink, and take back the razor from her. She was able to use it, but always with him either in the shower with her, or just outside shaving himself. Wherever he kept the razors, knifes, or anything else was always kept away. Where was beyond her. Still, she was able to have a little bit of privacy. Whenever Negan was gone during the day and the guys were watching her, they would always walk down that tiny hallway in the trailer and stand outside the door waiting until she finished, no mater how many times she had to get up to pee. As always they would help her off the couch, and walk with her and wait until she was finished.

The little bit of freedom she got from Negan was extra time in the shower, her books, and was more gentle than ever now. She knew as much as she hated it on the inside, she had to continue.

"Babe, I gotta get going in a half an hour, you ready?"

Negan asked, splashing water on his face at the sink. He was dressed, as she dyed her hair, wrapping it carefully up in a towel, slipping into a terry cloth robe he had given her. Using the belt at the waist, she almost bumped into him.

"Sorry..."

Negan laughed, before his hands firmly held her stomach which stuck out between them.

"How are my boys doing?"

Usually whenever Negan touched her stomach the babies began kicking up a storm. Negan claimed it was because they knew their daddy was there. Lucy deep down inside knew it was because he raised her blood pressure so badly, and actually scared her. It annoyed her usually whenever the was always touching her, feeling her stomach without asking and lighting up whenever the babies kicked.

Today...nothing.

Instantly Negan raised an eyebrow.

"Huh...my little kiddos asleep?"

Seeing him stare down at her, Lucy stepped back away from his touch.

"Uh, they must be asleep..."

She walked down to the living room area where Negan usually forced her to eat something. It was the one time Negan usually let her move around a little bit without breathing right on top of her. Still, she noticed every cabinet was locked. Negan had the key or everything and besides her clothes and books, everything was locked away. Feeling her back ache, she sat down on the tiny couch. Negan moved into the kitchen, opening the fridge. Sitting there, Lucy rubbed her stomach feeling exhausted. Instantly Negan was at her side sitting down beside her with a glass of juice.

"Drink this."

Lucy raised an eyebrow.

"Where did you get this?"

"It canned, drink up."

Lucy shrugged, drinking it. Instantly she felt Negan's hand slide over her belly, opening the robe and his large hand pressing firmly against her stomach. Mid gulp, Lucy lowered the glass and looked at him. His eyes were worried, staring down at her stomach.

"What?"

"They usually kick when you drink something remember?"

Lucy had lost count of how many times Negan was touching her stomach or making some stupid remark about the babies. Shooting him a look, she tried to close her robe.

"I told you, they don't always move around. Probably sleeping. Let them be."

Negan sat back still not looking completely convinced. Setting the glass down, she went to tell him to relax, wanting him away from her so she could get dressed and enjoy a little peace as the guys came in and played poker while she finished one of her latest books. She was about to tell him she felt fine when suddenly a terrible pain shot through her. It was worse than any period cramp she ever experienced. It tore through her causing her to snap her eyes shut and cry out.

"Ah!"

Negan jumped up.

"What?!"

The pain came again, worse this time. Something was wrong, something was really wrong. Screaming, she bent forward, holding herself as she screamed.

"JESUS!"

Negan tried grabbing onto her but she fell, hitting the floor hard. The pain was awful, her muscles ripping through, she could feel herself being torn apart. Screaming, she arched her back, whipping her head from side to side in complete agony. Negan grabbed his radio, calling for help, saying he needed men to round up and get Harlan down there right away. Laying there, she squirmed and twisted, before she opened her robe. Negan was kneeling beside her, when the door burst open. Harlan came racing in, holding a black medical bag. There were others, but Negan screamed for them to stay out. Harlan knelt on the other side.

"What happened?!"

"She just got out of the shower, the babies were't kicking and she started screaming."

Lucy screamed, feeling sweat roll off her.

"IT HURTS!"

Negan squeezed her hand looking scared to death.

"Is she going into labor?"

Harlan slid down, opening her legs.

"No, she's not dilated...Lucy when did the pain start?"

Lucy screamed. No, this was happening too fast. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. Negan was behind her, helping her sit up. That's when she watched her stomach move and it hit her. The babies...the babies had died inside of her and had changed. They were ripping her apart from the inside. Watching her stomach move, she threw her head back and screamed...

"NO!"

Lucy shot up in bed, eyes wide and sweat rolling off her. She sat up, hands clutching her chest feeling her heart hammer inside of her. Sitting there, she tried catching her breath as she sat up in bed, the room washed with darkness. Negan sat up, kissing her bare shoulder blade.

"Another nightmare baby?"

The dreams had begun a week or so ago. All the same. She felt like she was going into early labor before the horrible pain began and she felt the babies starting to rip her apart from the side, dead inside of her and trying to claw and eat themselves out of her. Sometimes the dream had her pushing before black blood went everywhere. Other times, she could see her stomach expanding as the babies tore their way through her. Other times, she heard the words...

"She's miscarrying!"

The words would echo before she felt them rip her apart from the inside. Each time she would snap awake crying out or screaming with Negan awake, asking if she was okay? At first she tried to hide the dreams from him, or just lie about them. Finally she knew the only way she was going to continue gaining his trust was to open up a little bit to him. Worried, he would always be sitting there, calming her down before she was ready to go back to sleep. Harlan was staying at the camp until the babies were born and told her that nightmares like this were perfectly normal. That so far everything looked fine and it was just her nerves. He offered to give her something to sleep but Negan forbid it saying it would hurt the babies. So almost every other night the same scene would replay in her head. As always her hands would slide to her swollen stomach, feeling the babies shift and move within her. The last few days weren't terrible besides the nightmares. Negan had been gentle with her, and as much as he forced things on her, was keeping a close eye on her. He made sure she rested, got plenty of sleep, and would always come home kissing her, and squeezing and kissing her hand. Tonight, he had her climb onto his lap backwards. Doing her in that position, he sat there, rocking his hips back and forth as she sat there tired and uncomfortable. Afterwards in bed, he made her give him a hand job. Lucy sat beside him, looking tired as she jerked her hand up and down his shaft. Once they were finished, he laid her down, kissing her before finally the two of them fell asleep.

"You need something?"

He asked still kissing her shoulder blade. Lucy rubbed her clammy face before shaking her head.

"No, I'm fine..."

Laying back down, she laid completely still as Negan began nuzzling her neck. His tongue traced up and down her jawbone, before he started kissing the side of her face. Sighing, she cursed herself for waking him up. Rubbing her stomach, he pulled her closer.

"Don't worry honey, we're fine...we're all fine..."

The next morning...

Lucy was surprised by Negan the following morning when he handed her a glass of powder milk and a jar of peanut butter. Casually he had asked her a few days ago what her favorite food was. Lucy had struggled to put on weight during her pregnancy, and really only ate whenever she was forced. Asking her, she raised her eyes from her book and at first didn't want to tell, thinking it was some sort of trick. Instead she rolled her eyes and looked back down.

"Peanut butter..."

This morning he brought her a jar. Grinning, he handed it over.

"Here little lady."

Lucy raised an eyebrow, before slowly letting down her book and taking the jar. Turning it over in her hands she looked up at him trying not to show any emotion. Still, the very thought of eating it, tasting the creamy rich goodness made her mouth want to water.

"Eat up honey, you deserve it."

Handing her a spoon as well, he winked at her before strolling over to the kitchen to call into the radio. Sitting there, Lucy eyed him before setting her milk down and unscrewing the cap. Smiling, she used the spoon before tasting some. The second it hit her tongue, she smiled, unable to help herself. As she continued to eat, not noticing Negan watching her smiling. Afterwards he led her out. He was calling a meeting. Harlan was coming tomorrow, and Negan wanted to round up the others and assign guards. Several men had been found killed in the area, and he wanted to keep an eye out for any surprises.

About thirty or so of them gathered around. Negan spoke with Lucy now dressed by his side. Everyone knew not to talk nor look at her. Negan told the men they had nothing to worry about, and showed them the giant map that laid out on the ground before them, weighed down by rocks. He told them to keep their wits about them. To set up several miles apart, and where to reload weapons. Lucy stood beside him, listening, catching nervous glances her way.

A few of the others began to talk, one of them being Neil who was throwing out ideas of making road blocks all around the main camp. The men all began throwing out different ideas, such as using trees, walkers, even digging out ditches in the road to stop any travelers.

While Negan was listening, Lucy took a deep breath knowing she needed to take the next step. Sighing, she stared at him as he listened across the way and turned towards him. Gently she reached up and rested her hand on his chest of his jacket. Instantly, Negan stared down. Lucy never touched him unless forced. Right now as they stood listening to Neil and the others, she stood close to him, resting her hand against his chest. Raising her eyes, she stared at him with no expression. Slowly she began rubbing his chest, back and forth on top of his jacket. Looking instantly interested, he smiled as she forced hers. Slowly his arm snaked behind her, and pressed firmly against the small of her back. Leaning down he whispered in her ear...

"My, you sure are frisky today huh?"

Lucy just continued forcing her small little smile as she rested her head against his shoulder. Smiling, he held her close, stroking her hair as he continued listening to the others. Once they were finished, and everyone began breaking apart going their own ways, Lucy tugged on his sleeve.

"Say, wanna go for a walk?"

Negan frowned, sighing as he watched everyone walk their separate ways.

"We really shouldn't baby, that doctor fella is coming tomorrow and you outta rest up."

"Please...I was thinking we could go for a walk, maybe head over to the quarry. It's such a nice day..."

Negan kissed her hand smiling.

"We'll see honey, maybe after the doc takes a look at you, come on."

Sighing, Lucy knew not to push the issue. She had been playing her cards right, and didn't want to anger him. He hadn't honestly lost his temper in so long and she wanted to continue this as long as she could. She just knew she needed to get to that quarry before these babies were born. As of lately the terrible weight in her stomach had become so uncomfortable her back often ached as did her ankles.

She knew it was just a matter of time before it happened. Following him, they returned to her prison, otherwise known as the trailer. Shutting the door, Negan stretched, and smiled as he unzipped his jacket. Watching her, he smiled as she undid the red scarf she used to keep her bangs out of her hair today. Smiling, he strolled over.

"Can I see?"

Confused, Lucy stared before handing him over the scarf. It was just one of the many clothing pieces that had been brought to her over the last few months. Negan smiled, wrapping it around his neck.

"Months are getting cooler, smells like you. Might have to keep this close to me."

Lucy shrugged, not really caring. Walking to the back bedroom, she sat down, struggling to pull her boots off. Once she sat there, Negan appeared in the doorway smiling,

"God your beautiful."

Lucy dropped her eyes, she knew she couldn't look at him. She felt her act had been pretty solid, but whenever he looked at her like that she couldn't help but feel frightened. Negan stepped forward before undoing his belt. Sighing, she knew what was next. Once the belt was off, he dropped it to the side before undoing his jeans. Sitting there, Lucy knew it was best to just get it over with. Pulling her own blouse off, she let it fall to the floor. Negan sat down beside her as she finished undressing. Staring at her, he squeezed her hand. Turning, she looked at him. It was such a shame she hated him so much. Not only had he kidnapped her, killed Chris, beat her, raped her, and impregranted her...he had changed her into something she never thought she would be. He was going to be the cause of her death, since life even if she survived the delivery like this she couldn't handle.

She wouldn't forgive herself to be his object any longer. She needed him to pay for what he did. For the longest time she weighed the options if she did indeed survive the delivery. These babies were half hers after all? No, she couldn't think that way, she wouldn't. Never in a million years back when she was just a carefree teenager living in the city with her parents did she ever believe she would be a mother. These babies were unnatural.

They weren't meant to be. They were conceived out of hate and possession, nothing more. She was just used to carry his children, and as much as she heard otherwise, she couldn't even try to think that he would rather her survive instead of them. These babies shouldn't have even existed. Looking at him, she kept seeing all little flashes of what kind of man maybe he was before. Did he have a family? A wife? Children? What drove him to be this insane rapist who kept her locked away like some kind of bird ready to escape towards the sky. She couldn't understand. He was a complete madman. She looked at him, he was older, salt and pepper in his beard. His eyes hazel, his hair going gray. He was handsome in a a strange way, and its seemed completely insane that this was who she was having children with. That these babies were made by him, a mix between the two of them. Thinking of them looking like him made her sick to her stomach. She wouldn't...no she couldn't allow it.

"So...I was thinking, how about Negan Jr for one and Damon for the other."

"What?"

Lucy blinked, lost in her own thoughts.

"One named after me, NJ and Damon...that was my kid brother's name. He died years ago over seas...and DJ. You like those?"

Sighing she knew these babies would never even have those names but nevertheless she wanted to humor him.

"Those are nice."

"You like them?"

"Yeah, they sound nice."

Negan reached over deeply kissing her, his lips tightly pressing against hers as he groaned.

"Oh baby, you are just too much for words...I can't wait for all of us to be a family..."

Gently pushing her back, his hands went up and began to run over her swollen breasts. Sighing, she stared up at the ceiling, before he turned her over. Within seconds, she was kneeling, legs parted as he reached down and rubbed her back.

"Shhhh..."

He said grinning. Within seconds he entered her. Lucy had to stiffen a cry. Laying on all fours, belly hanging down she stared forward as he began to thrust inside of her. Staring forward at the mattress, she ignored the pain as he kept going into her and tried to focus on the quarry. All that mattered was the quarry.

Later...

Negan wasn't done yet. For hours he had been fucking her, now she was laying on her side as he was entering her form behind, curled up close behind her. Laying there, she sighed as he kept entering her, one arm tightly wrapped around her, holding her into place. Feeling her body shake as he continued going into her, she shut her eyes trying to tune him out. This wasn't her husband. He didn't love her. These weren't her children, they were made as a result of a rape. A dirty filthy rape.

Shutting her eyes, she said a silent prayer. Not just for her soul, but for the babies' as well.

The next morning...

"What do you think?"

Harlan sat back, having just listened with his stereoscope to her stomach. Smiling nervously, he patted Lucy on the arm as she laid on the tiny couch, blouse brought up. Negan stood behind, watching.

"Well, I don't have all my equipment but the babies sound strong. I would say in a few more weeks to start bedrest and start getting ready."

"You'll be able to deliver them?'

"Absolutely."

Harlan stood up as Negan patted his arm.

"Thanks doc, I'll be keeping you on call. Now go on out and see where the guys can set you up someplace nice, get yourself a nice warm dinner alright. I'll be seeing you tomorrow all right."

"Sounds good. Thank you."

As Harlan rose, he stared down at Lucy as she carefully sat up buttoning up her blouse.

"Take care of yourself Lucy."

Lucy locked eyes with him and softly thanked him. Negan saw him out and once he turned he smiled.

"That's good news, boys are doing great."

Lucy lifted her eyes and sighed.

"What if something happens...what if they die during the delivery and rip me apart?"

Negan's face fell as he sat beside her, putting his arm around her.

"Shhhh, don't say that. Harlan is a damn good doctor and he's going to make sure you are all taken care of."

Brushing her hair back he smiled.

"Quit worrying, it's not good for you or the boys okay?"

Sighing, Lucy nodded before she forced a small smile.

"How about that walk?"

She was waiting for Negan to say no, that he didn't think it was a good idea. Instead he smiled and patted her on the knee.

"All right, but only for an hour. I want you off your feet okay? We'll take the bike up."

"Can we go to the quarry? The trees look so nice there."

"Anything you want."

Leaning forward, she kissed him, feeling his beard tickle her.

"Thank you..."

Negan smiled, kissing her back before getting up. Zipping his jacket up, and using the red scarf he had now started wearing, he helped her hunt her boots down. Dressed in jeans and a jacket, Lucy pushed her hair back and smiled softly. Taking her hand, he led her out. Before she walked out the door, she took one last look around the trailer, knowing she would never see this awful place again.