Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

A/N: Very important. Please read! In Reno's flashback, the plain italicized words are the regular flashback, the italicized words in bold are a flashback within the flashback.

I messed up. I mistakenly posted the last chapter a day early. I had some dental work done and I think with all the medication they had me on made me lose a day, or gain a day... Whatever it was, I was mistaken about the day.

Reviews, critiques and flames are welcome. I absolutely love all reviews about the story as it gives me motivation, I use good constructive criticism to help my writing improve and I feed the flames to the fires of my imagination.

Thanks to my before posting beta Queen of Jokers and my after posting beta SubZeroChimera!

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'" –John Greenleaf Whittier, Maud Muller

Chapter 63

Making it back to their room, Reno hung his head. He didn't know what to make of the situation. Zack's eyes and lack of light really bothered him and he wondered if they realized it too. Well, he couldn't dwell on it, he had work to do. Throwing himself onto his bed, he pulled out his phone and went over some of the details with Rude, "Okay, we got the confidential files transferred from Hojo's computer and the "real" security footage where he would find it. The witness statement was shear genius on your part. Where in the world did you find someone to be a witness?"

Rude shifted his eyes to Reno from his seat at the table, "Reno. Why don't you just talk about what's really bothering you?"

Reno sat up in surprise, "What the hell are you talkin about? Nothin bothers me!" Nausea hit him with the thought of Zack in worse condition than what he had just seen, "You don't know what you're talkin about. Just shut the fuck up." Reno threw himself back down on the bed and turned away from Rude. Reno could almost feel Rude's eyes staring a hole in his back.

Rude turned back to face the table and started his paper work, "I'm gonna finish up this paper work. If you have something you need to do, go ahead. I'm gonna be busy for a while."

Reno's eyes widened and took the offer, "Okay, I'll be back later. I don't want to be in this stuffy room with an uptight jack-ass." Reno walked out the door and stood there for a moment. The cool night air brushed his skin lightly and a rash of goose bumps popped up on his arms. He shivered and wrapped his suit jacket around him tightly with his arms crossed and started walking and thinking, 'Zack looked like shit. The babbling, I mean he always talked a lot, but what he was saying was just nuts.' As he walked, he realized he was walking in the direction of Zack's room. Reno stopped and he had ended up right in front of the room. He heard Zack screaming and he could hear Cloud and Sephiroth talking to him. Reno had to walk away as he began to dwell on the past and what Zack meant to him.

"Let's go!" Rude and Tseng ran for the helicopter on top of the Shinra building. Reno already had the engine going and waited very impatiently for his two companions. Rude jumped in next to Reno in the front and immediately put his headset on. Tseng swung himself into the back and took his headset, "We're in Reno." Rude singled him and Reno took the helicopter up.

"Any idea where we're going Tseng?" Reno eyed the horizon as the rain pelted the windshield and thinking to himself that this morning was a good day to find the three escapees.

Tseng spoke into his mouth piece, "The radio call came in as the sightings being north of Midgar."

"Oh, well, that narrows it down."

Reno's sarcasm prompted Rude, "It's better than it being 'around' Midgar isn't it?" Reno smirked at his bald partner.

Tseng's tone was deadly serious, "Reno, we must find them before the military does. They have orders to kill on sight. Visibility is low because of the rain, so we must to be vigilant."

A subconscious chill wiggled its way down Reno's spine as he remembered how he met the first person he ever really called a friend...

When they had met during a mission, Zack was just a third class at the time, but he was still a magnetic personality. Reno immediately became fascinated with the young man with onyx colored hair.

Reno was well known for being bi-sexual, he figured if they were fuckable, then he was more than willing. Over a couple of months and a few missions together, they had become friends. Reno of course wanted a little more, but the young Soldier wasn't interested in that kind of relationship. Even after Reno tried to kiss him, Zack turned him down, but still remained friends with him. Reno stopped trying to get Zack in the sack, which that statement became a joke between the two of them. Reno respected the limits that Zack insisted on and he was the last man that Reno was ever really interested in. It was nothing but women for Reno from then on.

The Turk learned quickly how soft-hearted Zack actually was one night. Reno had gone out and gotten drunk and was at the ass-end of a lost fight. He called Zack and without hesitation, the Soldier showed up and got him back to his apartment, got him cleaned up, in bed and ended up staying with him until morning.

When Reno woke up the next morning, walking into the living room, Zack was laid out sleeping on the couch. Watching him sleep for a little while, he wished that his crush would either return his affection or that he could just stop feeling this way for the Soldier.

Finally waking him up, they went to get some breakfast and talked about Reno's bad habits of getting himself into trouble and how to avoid it in the future.

Rude sat forward and scanned the landscape, "No visual yet. Is Elena and her crew still in the other search sector?"

"I expect so. We should be hearing from them soon with their update," Tseng continued with his search of the other side with his binoculars.

"I can't see shit! This rain is unbearable," Reno scratched his head and continued, "Is that crazy bastard Hojo adamant about wanting them dead or alive? I mean, what the fuck is he going to do with a bunch of dead Soldiers?" Reno cringed at his own words. He didn't want to think about Zack being dead.

A bright ray of light shone through the clouds as they parted when the rain suddenly stopped. Reno kept going in the circular search pattern hoping to find something.

Then it happened, Rude jumped in his seat, "Over there!"

Reno turned in the direction that Rude indicated. At first it looked like two armies clashed in battle. Bodies, guns, swords, shell casings and blood covered a large area of a cliff. He saw no movement and hoped that they had gotten away. A few army vehicles were parked on the other side of a large outcropping of boulders.

"Reno, land over there," Tseng pointed to a large flat area close to what looked like the center of where the battle had been fought.

Reno scanned the few bodies that still remained, the ones that hadn't been retrieved yet. As he took it in to land, he seriously was hoping that he didn't see… Zack… Reno's eyes closed and he hoped he just was seeing things. When he opened his eyes again, it was no use, the dark spiky hair was an obvious give away to the identity, he was still there. Reno swallowed hard and inhaled deeply to combat the feelings. They jumped out of the air craft and the red-head sadly exasperated, "Fuck! I knew the army was going after them, but shit!" He stood with his hands on his hips. He couldn't bring himself to walk over to Zack's body.

Tseng very calmly said, "Look, I know your upset, but we still have a job to do," The Turk leader put a hand up to Reno.

"Damn right I'm fucking upset!" Reno's eyes burned in anger and he jerked his shoulder out from under Tseng's hand. He asked to no one in particular, "Why didn't they just let us handle this?" His emotions built up and he couldn't take it anymore. It was an outburst of anger that led his foot, he kicked a helmet and it hit a boulder. The impact shattered the visor of the helmet and the plastic fell to the ground in small sharp shards.

Rude adjusted his sunglasses, "Now it just seems to be a recovery mission. All I see is Fair though."

Tseng bowing his head and saying rather sadly, "At least he can get a proper funeral." Reno shot a glare at him. Tseng was already talking about a funeral. That seemed to infuriate Reno further.

Rude put a hand on the other's arm and Reno knew what he had to do. After all the things he had done as a Turk, he thought that this might be the hardest. Reno finally walked over with Rude right next to him. He looked down and the look on Zack's face was calm and peaceful. Zack had changed in the five years he'd been missing, but he still captivated his attention, even in death.

Reno bent over and put his hands gently under his shoulders and lifted him up. The red-headed Turk tried not to look at Zack's body, but the weight in his arms was what gave Reno a whole new aspect of Hojo to hate. He glanced up as Rude carried Zack's legs, placing him gently in the helicopter. Reno leaned his forehead on the door to the cockpit feeling his grief bubble up.

Tseng took out his phone, "Yes sir, we have retrieved Zack Fair… Yes sir… We will be there shortly…" Shutting his phone, he gently placed it back in his pocket.

Reno turned and inquired, "What about Sephiroth and the other one, what was his name?"

"Reno, his name is Cloud Strife. They are still unaccounted for," Tseng walked briskly back to the helicopter and climbed in, careful not to disturb Zack's body, "Hopefully we can find them before Hojo finds them. I don't want them to suffer the same fate as Zack. If the army catches them they will surely die." Reno started the engine and as soon as he could, he took off and headed back to the Shinra building.

Reno was unusually quiet and Tseng and Rude did not press the issue. Reno's thoughts went to Shinra, everything that he hated right then. They got back to the helipad and a crew of Hojo's techs met them with a gurney. They started to reach for Zack and Reno pushed them out of the way, placing him on the gurney with Rude's help.

Following them closely as they went to the building basement, Reno dropped his head and stood next to Zack as they removed his blood soaked clothing. It was then that Reno saw the extensive wounds inflicted on Zack's beaten body and the extent of Shinra's power. His anger built further as they finished cleaning him up and wrapped him in a white sheet.

They had a small gathering where very few words were said, none of them knowing what to say as Zack's body was pushed into the cremation chamber. When the chamber door closed, Reno stood straight and left quickly without a word, leaving the other Turks in the room.

Going up to the roof for a cigarette, he thought of Zack again...

Reno had felt completely comfortable around him and told him things that he thought he would never tell anyone, he allowed his guard down around him. That was when he had made the mistake of telling Zack about the mission that he had asked Reno not to take. He had to get it off his chest because it had been a bad one, Zack's face twisted into a rare scowl of anger, "I can't believe you did it Reno!"

"I'm sorry Zack, I had to. It's my job."

"You could have refused or done things differently. How could you do that? I know we are at war with Wutai, but children Reno?!" Zack turned to leave.

Reno grabbed his arm, "Please Zack, I said I was sorry."

Zack turned on him and anger flashed in his eyes as they grew to a bright illumination. Zack's tone was low and quiet, "Don't ever talk to me again."

Reno took one last puff of his cigarette and threw it over the side of the building. He leaned over the side and watched it until he couldn't see it anymore. He looked up at the horizon and studied the far off cliff, "Good bye Zack."

Cloud woke up to Zack standing in front of the window. The morning sun began to trickle over the land and through the window. It lit Zack up as if he were the light that was reflecting it back to the world. Running his fingers slowly over the glass, he whispered, "I can't… jump, leaping, in the air, no, water…"

Cloud sat up and stared at his friend who didn't seem to know that he was being watched. Over the last few weeks, he'd gained the majority of his weight back and the dark circles had lessened. Zack's face however, just felt blank. Looking into his eyes, it was as if a dark hole was swallowing his light. He felt Zack slipping away more and more every day.

The blond watched as Zack's strong but nimble fingers traced down the window pane to the window sill and stopped. Going down to his knees, his fingers resumed their trek to the floor, where he got to the floor and lay down on the floor on his stomach; the side of his face lay on the lush carpet. His fingers walked slowly toward the bed holding Cloud, then up the side to the top of the mattress holding the blond observer. That was when the tranquility of the morning ended.

Zack's eyes found Cloud's and a look of overwhelming disgust crossed and churned in the dimming glow of a turquoise leer, "You… You lied…" Zack stood and advanced on Cloud and leaped at him. Zack pinned him to the bed with his weight and held him tight. The brunette lifted his fist and before Cloud could react, his fists hit in rapid succession to the younger man's face. Unable to move from under Zack's weight, he let out a yelp of pain that woke Sephiroth from his sound sleep.

"Zack!" Sephiroth jumped and grabbed Zack from behind and pulled him backward. Once free from Zack, Cloud rolled to the floor while he held his face. Harding ran over to Cloud and tried to see the damage.

"Cloud, let me see," Harding pulled on his shoulder. Cloud shrugged him off and lifted himself from the floor and Harding helped him to a chair and went to get a cold cloth.

Zack struggled against Sephiroth and continued to yell at Cloud, "It's your fault! Her name! Her name… her name is the key and YOU started it!" Zack suddenly went limp in a motion that toddlers use to escape a parent's hold, falling out of Sephiroth's hold, running for Cloud again and grabbing him, "I don't know how, but that's it." He grabbed a handful of Cloud's hair and pulled him down to the floor and bit Cloud on his forearm that he had in front of him in self-defense.

Cloud cried out from the sudden pain, "Ahh! Zack stop!"

Sephiroth grabbed him again and Zack turned on him, speaking to Sephiroth with his mouth stained red from Cloud's blood, "Why did you do it? Huh? The pain, the screams, I can't keep it!" Pulling himself closer to Sephiroth, he kneed him in the groin.

As Sephiroth went down to the floor, Zack looked at Harding, "Fix it! You can do what he won't!" He ran for Harding who was ducking behind the table. With lightening reflexes, Sephiroth grabbed his insane friend's ankle before he could kill Harding. Zack fell short of the scared physician's assistant, face first, and hit his shoulder on the chair with a loud crack of wood.

Cloud was up and took Zack's wrists and pulled them behind him. He sat on Zack's back and held him tight. Zack twitched and bucked trying to get Cloud off his back as he yelled to Harding, "Get me something to tie his hands!"

"No!" Sephiroth yelled, "I can't tie him up! What if it does more damage to him?"

Cloud looked at Sephiroth through his swelling black eye and bleeding eyebrow, nose and lip, "I don't like it any more than you, but what else do you suggest? It will just be until he calms down." Sephiroth rolled to his back with one hand on his crotch. Turning to look at the assistant, he hesitantly nodded.

Once they got his hands and ankles restrained they struggled to get him back onto the bed. Zack held his hands in front of his chest and lay there being very still and he quietly stared and narrowed his eyes at Sephiroth and Cloud. Zack's facial expression was close to a predator stalking its prey.

Cloud sat in the chair next to the table and Harding cleaned and dressed the bite on his arm. Cloud looked at Zack unbelieving, "I don't know what to make of all that."

A knock on the door got their attention and Sephiroth opened the door to all three girls. Tifa cheerfully asked, "Are ya'll ready for breakfast? Everyone else is already going to the diner to eat." Then she noticed Cloud's physical condition, "What happened?"

Aerith looked at Zack lying on the bed tied up, "Why is he tied up?" She walked toward him and sat on the bed.

Zack bared his teeth and growled at her, "Dogs go to run at the store!" Zack lunged forward at her and she jumped as Sephiroth caught him before he fell to the floor.

The angry former Soldier twisted around and tried to bite Sephiroth's arm and just grazed his skin with his teeth, "Damn it Zack!"

Yuffie stared at Zack as he twisted and fought against the restraints. His babbling was getting louder when he noticed her looking at him. He fell completely silent and a very un-Zack like grin sinisterly shifted on his face and he spat out as if it were poison to his victim, "Hey Wutai bitch, wanna fuck?!" A black-hearted laugh erupted from him as he rolled to his back and repeated the offending words a few more times under his breath.

Yuffie's mouth dropped and she looked around at everyone else in the room. Everyone had the same expression of shock on their faces. Yuffie backed up through the door, "I… I'm gonna go get something to eat." She quickly exited the room and Aerith ran after her.

Tifa went to Cloud's side, "Cloud? What happened?"

As Harding was patting more ointment on the bite, it caused Cloud to hiss. Then he said with anger poured on the words, "He's fucking nuts. That's what happened."

Tifa stood straight, "You don't mean that. He is your friend, he just needs help."

Angrily, Sephiroth grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom and slammed the door. Cloud sighed and looked over at Zack. His eyes went to Tifa's face and then he lowered them back to the floor, "Sorry."

Once Harding was done bandaging Cloud's wound, he said, "I'm gonna go get Zack some food. Maybe he will calm down if he eats." Cloud nodded and the medic left without another word.

Sephiroth came out of the bathroom a fog of anger surrounded him, "You know Cloud I figured you of all people would… would… never mind."

Cloud quickly jumped to his feet, "No Seph, just say it." Cloud eyed him from across the small table. He waited for the sentence to leave Sephiroth's lips.

"I figured that you would be the most sensitive to Zack and what he is going through," Sephiroth leaned forward on the table.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Cloud growled lowly, "Just say what you're really thinking Seph."

Blinking, Sephiroth straightened his back and bit out, "You are a fucking hypocrite! You say you want to help him, but all you want is to have Jade to yourself!" Sephiroth paused, he looked around at the other two and his puzzled look was shared by Cloud.

Cloud put his hand up, "Whoa, what the hell was that?" Cloud looked at Tifa and then back to Sephiroth, "I don't know what is going on, but we need to just stop right there." Cloud looked over at Tifa, "Could you get Harding back in here?" Tifa left and Cloud walked over to Zack.

The former infantry soldier stood there and looked over him as his struggles began to tear at his skin on his wrists. Zack pushed himself back a little as Cloud sat next to him and took Zack's hands into his, "Zack, stop doing that, you're hurting yourself." Zack's focus had moved to the door to the room and Cloud sighed and he closed his eyes, "Zack I'm sorry," He opened his eyes and looked at Zack again and shook his hands until he was finally looking at him, "I'm sorry."

Yuffie briskly walked away from the room, toward the restaurant. Aerith caught up to her and pulled on her arm, "Yuffie, are you alright?"

The young warrior turned and Aerith could tell that she worked very hard at not crying, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just hungry."

Aerith took her hand and they walked to the restaurant together. Aerith talked as she slowed her walking thus slowing Yuffie down, "You do know that is not what Zack is really like, right?"

Yuffie sighed, "Yes. You're good people. I just couldn't see you being friends with a horrible person."

"Zack is not a horrible person. He is the most kind, gentle, loving man I know," Aerith stopped walking and turned Yuffie to face her, "Zack sacrificed his life so Cloud and Sephiroth could get away from the army and survive."

"Why are you telling me this?" Yuffie pulled her hand from Aerith's hands.

Aerith spoke softly and with an abundant amount of love for the man who she used to call hers, "Because I couldn't stand it knowing that someone thinks badly of him."

Extra author note: While I said that I wouldn't indulge the troll anymore, I went back on my word and did in the last chapter (and this one too). To those of you who don't like it, sorry.

Now, after last chapter, I got another troll review from he/she/it/thing. (*taps finger on lips while deep in thought* Do trolls have a gender or gender identity or do they procreate through asexual or artificial means?)

The following are my streaming thoughts on the subject:

Truly, I have GOT to stop eating while reading these troll reviews. I'm going to end up choking to death. FYI, laughing with food or drink in your mouth can be dangerous!

For the record, I never said I was going to ignore the troll, only that I wouldn't do what I'm doing now. But things change, habits change, seasons change, time changes and even I change my mind from time to time. I'm a woman and it's in my contract that I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. (I even change the spelling of some words with my spell checker so that the words are spelled correctly...) I'm not sure what else I didn't confirm or deny. Did I not say that I had another account, fairurbanstrife? What else is there besides the rape fantasy and yaoi? Did I not say that I enjoy reading yaoi and mature rated material? Did I not say that my safe word was troll? This may come as an utter shock, but some people like rougher sex. By it's very definition, sex is just controlled violence. *Gasp! The horror!* Did I not say that my name was Tifa, Cid, Vincent, Barret, Yuffie and Harding? Oh well, I guess you'll just have to wonder since you didn't read/comprehend my notes.

On more serious matters... I never said that rape was hot, it isn't, I've been there. But it's life, it happens, evil happens everyday. Quick side-note, BDSM is an actual thing that some people enjoy with others. On a slightly different topic, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, not bi-polar. I wouldn't dare put myself in the same category as our neighborhood troll. I don't get my jollies by trying to hurt other people's feelings through anonymous reviews and impolite messages directed at not only an author, but the reviewers and readers as well. My guess is that I'm not the first or only person that this troll is trying to bother.

Life is too damn short to let petty people ruin a good thing, and life is a good thing. [I want those of you who've survived life's heartaches and ills to feel free to voice yourselves, not to be taken down by a person who finds it amusing and therapeutic to belittle others, they are otherwise known as bullies.]

Just so that everyone knows how I feel, listen VERY closely - I don't get angry at little things like an inconsiderate trolling reviewer. Instead, I get angry at REAL problems like fascism taking over in a free country, terrorists killing innocent men and women in horrific ways and children being abused by the very people who are supposed to love them - THAT is what angers me. When I'm angry, I don't write or talk, I clam up and brood. I only get sarcastic when I'm in a good mood or when something makes me laugh.

To the troll: These are my true colors that you've sought out - And your statement about me insulting you was very amusing and hypocritical of you. Evidently all the times that you insulted and called me and other reviewers names (first) - has no bearing in your reality what-so-ever?

Note - Sarcasm is a hobby of mine. I may be a depressed, sarcastic and disturbed whore-bitch, but I'm good at it. I'll practice my sarcasm and the troll can go into their dark little corner of the world and bitch at people crossing their bridge like a good little mythical being.

To the readers and fellow authors: Perhaps I brought most of this upon myself by indulging the troll's trollish ways. But it was my choice to use this troll as an example to all the other authors out there who are scared of the dreaded and fear-inducing troll... There is nothing to be scared of, only pitied because they are only lonely people who have nothing better to do. Don't be scared, don't let their "comments" bother you because what they say is simply a reflection of the darkness that resides within their own hearts. They just need a hug and a prayer. #hugatroll Check out danisnotonfire and his video at (no spaces): youtu . be / d2VYhR8q040 -I think he says it better than I do.

[Honestly, after I wrote all this out, I find that the entire group of arguments above, from me, is probably absolutely pointless because regardless of what I say, the troll will continue with their unintelligible drivel while trying to find things to gripe about.]

Now, I'm done. Cookies anyone?