Present.
Lucille slept for nearly a straight eighteen hours. Negan laid beside her, curled up, holding onto her the entire time. Shortly before dawn, Lucille woke up, eyelids fluttering open and for a split second she had absolute no idea where she was. Staring up at the ceiling, she took a moment before the worst sense of confusion hit her. Laying there a jolt went through her for a moment before she wondered why wasn't she sleeping in a tent, or in some loft above a barn. Glancing to her side she saw Negan. Not Joe, but Negan.
"Negan, Negan, Negan..."
The words repeated over and over again in her mind. Somehow it felt familiar, but strange. She knew this man, in fact in that hazy mess of whatever was left of her memories was only faint his face. For the longest time she believed maybe he was her father, or whoever she was with before she woke up in that cabin. Hearing that this was her husband, and how they had separated just didn't seem right. She was from Florida? This was her father's friend? His business partner? They were married? She couldn't understand... Still, Joe had left...dropped her off just like that and was gone. Here she was, laying beside a man who was how old? Forty-five? Fifty? Was she really married to him? She had taken a look around briefly and saw how huge this camp was. Negan was the leader...her husband, the father of one dead child, and the other taken...how could all of this information suddenly just be thrown at her? She felt safe staring at him, but why didn't this seem right? Carefully she slid from out of his arms, carefully not to make the mattress creak. Standing, feeling her knees pop, she looked down at him and cocked her head to the side. Was this really her husband? She looked around the tiny room and felt as if she had been here before but could't seem to place it. Turning, she was careful to make her way down the narrow hallway. She used the bathroom, and then went into the small kitchen/living area.
It was early still, and nobody seemed to be out walking around in the camps. There was a heavy fog out, and frost on the ground. She stared out the window, chewing on her bottom lip.
"Morning..."
Lucy jumped, gasping a small scream before she spun around and saw Negan standing directly behind her. His beard showing more gray than brown. He looked roughed, well rested, and handsome. He smiled staring down at her before lightly chuckling.
"I'm sorry to scare you baby, heard you get up. You sleep okay?"
Lucy sighed, a little embarrassed and turned staring back out the window. Negan moved up behind her, slipping his huge arms around her waist and nuzzling her shoulder, gently tickling the skin with his beard as he trailed kisses up and down.
"Yeah...sorry I've been so out of it. Guess I needed it..."
"Of course you did, being on the road...Jesus it makes me sick knowing you were out there all alone..."
Lucy sighed.
"I wasn't alone...Joe was with me."
She could feel Negan pause for a second.
"And...I own him my life. Wish he really could have stayed a little longer. I owed him that much keeping my girl safe..."
Lucy turned, just a mere inch away from his own face. She locked eyes with him.
"I need to know more...what is this place, the babies...I'm...just so confused. I need...answers..."
Negan nodded, bringing her hand up and kissing it.
"Coffee first, answers next...then we're hitting the road."
Lucy nodded before Negan smiled, lifting her chin with his fingers. Smiling, his entire face seemed to light up.
"I just can't believe you're back here with me..."
Tilting his head, he softly kissed her lips. Staring up, stunned she looked at him before Negan grinned. Somehow deep down inside that grin chilled her to the bone.
Later...
Lucy sat down in the small booth of the tiny fold out table with Negan. Two half drank cups of coffee sat before them as Negan finished. He had told her roughly about her family, and how she had lost them during the first attacks. He talked about their wedding, how she was in school, and planning on after they graduated on trying for a family. He spoke about his camps, some of the terrible things that had happened, his men, his rules, and what they had become. He spoke about how she got pregnant earlier that year, how she went for that walk, and went missing. He spoke about how long he had been searching, and finally how happy he was that she was back with him. He reached across and squeezed her hand. Lucy felt sick, sitting there she slowly took deep breaths.
"Do you have any photos...of my parents, us?"
"Baby we had to leave in such a hurry...I couldn't take anything. I'm so sorry..."
Lucy stared at their two hands on the table squeezing each other. Sighing, she clicked her tongue.
"These camps...you're not telling me everything are you?"
Negan used his free hand to scratch his beard.
"What's happened...it's forced men like me to take charge. I've done things I'm not proud of...but by doing so I've kept myself, my men, and until a few months ago you safe. You saw the way I ran things, and while you didn't completely agree, you understood. It's going to take getting used to, but trust me...it's for the best."
Sighing, Lucy nodded.
"The babies..."
"I should have never let you go alone...it's my fault..."
Lucy stared blankly down at the table and the coffee cups.
"I...wish I could remember them."
Negan squeezed her hand.
"Come on, I got some clothes for you...let's get bundled up and we'll take one of the trucks..."
Lucy nodded, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.
"This is all new to me...I'm sure it's going to come back, but I need time. I'm going to ask questions, lots of them...I just need time okay. One day I woke up, having no idea who I was or where I was from and...I had to hold one of my babies who I had no idea I was even pregnant with as they died in my arms. I had to destroy them, and watch the other get taken away. Up until a few days ago I had no idea who my name was or that I was married. My only friend left, and now I'm married. I'm a little overwhelmed here..."
"And you need time. Trust me I know baby, I know..."
With that he smiled, got up and cleared the cups. Lucy meanwhile sat there in a stunned trance.
Later...
Lucy and Negan rode together in one of the pick up trucks. When they left the trailer, she saw that people were just starting to wake up and move about. Before they headed out, Lucy changed in the clothes Negan had left out for her in the bedroom. As she changed, she was completely unaware that Negan was watching leaning against the wall of the narrow hallway. He watched with her back facing him. She slowly slipped on the jeans, and slipped on the black T-shirt. By the time she sat down on the edge of the bed to pull on her boots, he had gone to the front of the trailer.
They took off together, nobody really speaking to them besides the man named Neil and Simon. They took Negan aside, spoke in low voices before Negan took a pistol and tucked it into the front of his jeans. Opening the door to one of the many parked trucks, he let her in and circled around. They rode together mostly in silence. Lucy stared out the window, trying to wrap her entire mind about this. Once or twice Negan asked if she was all right and each time Lucy would force a smile and say of course.
"What were my parents like?"
"Hum?"
"My parents...what were they like?"
"Well, they were...great. You're father...Larry was my best friend and business partner. He was really a great guy, always joking around. You look a lot like you're mother...her name was Mary."
"I do?"
"Yeah, she used to call you her twin. They loved you a lot..."
Lucy forced herself not to cry. Instead she took a deep breath and stared out the windshield at the road ahead of them.
"What was I going to major in in school?"
"You wanted to become a...physical therapist. You went on and on about how that was going to be your major...you wanted to put it off though until we started having children..."
"Can you answer something...Negan?"
"Yeah of course."
"Why want to bring children into this...all of this..."
She motioned to the deserted back highway.
"Joe told me all about what happened...why?"
"Well, you had your heart set on wanting a baby so bad...it was an accident, and we had choices but you told me you wanted a family no matter what. You saw what we build and what we had to do. It didn't always feel right, and sometimes you said we felt like monsters but at the end of day you knew I was keeping you safe. You knew this way was the only way...the future..."
Lucy turned, pretending she was looking out the window and roughly wiped at her eyes. Suddenly she felt his hand reach over and cover the one that was resting on her lap. Somehow, this small sign of comfort was exactly what she needed.
Later...
Nearly three hours later they found the cabin. The moment they parked Lucy felt her heart hammering in her chest. Carefully she let herself out and the two went to the front of the truck. Sighing, Lucy pointed towards one of the trees.
"That's where we buried the baby..."
Negan's eyes seemed stone set. Taking her hand, the two began to walk towards the small grave. Once they reached the area, Lucy let go of Negan's firm grip and took a shaken step forward. Instantly her confused and pale face completely crumpled. Falling heavy down on her knees, she stared forward unaware at Negan was standing directly behind her. For a mere moment he looked as if he was going to kill her. His hands were highly brought into fists at his sides. He glared down at her, fogged with the memory before she jumped out of his sight all those months ago. He saw himself grabbing her neck from behind, wrapping his large hands tightly around her throat and strangling her until she paid for what she had done. Underneath the ground there was one of his boys. His own flesh and blood. His family. He had worked so hard to give her children, and this was how she thanked him? He fought so hard to hold back these terrible urges. Instead he took deep breaths, and stepped forward before slowly getting down on one knee. The two knelt side by side staring at the grave. Sighing, eyes rimmed with tears, Lucy reached down and gently swept the dirt with the palm of her hand.
"I named him Negan...since your name was really all I could remember."
Negan didn't say a word, instead he reached over and gently squeezed her shoulder blade, rubbing it before Lucy lowered her head as silent tears rolled down her face. The two stayed that way for a good hour, side by side looking at their dead child's grave.
Later...
When Negan opened the door, dried leafs blew inside the dark cabin. Lucy stayed behind him as the two carefully walked inside. It smelt damp, and the air inside stale. Negan had his gun out and looked around before Lucy stood in the doorway and sighed. Pointing, she motioned over to the floor where there were crumpled up sheets, blankets, and sleeping bags.
"That's where I had them, that's where I had to kill...our boy..."
Negan saw the dried blood stains now a dark purplish color on the floorboards. Slowly, he walked around as Lucy crossed her arms and told him about the couple. What she barley could remember about them, and how they had promised to keep the other baby safe. Negan circled around the future, looking at the long blown out fireplace, and the firmly latched windows listening. Lucy gave a humorless laugh, shaking her head saying she wished she knew where they were headed, at least then maybe she could see if they had made it.
She regretted letting them take him, but in the shape she was in what choice did she have? Finally Negan walked over to her. His pistol tucked back into his pants. Staring at her, he walked in close and gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look up at him.
"You did the right thing. Don't you ever blame yourself."
Lucy shifted her eyes to the side, embarrassed before Negan brushed back her hair.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you...but I promise I'll make it up to you. No matter what it takes."
Lucy sighed pulling back.
"I don't even know you...this is all..."
"New, I know. But we got plenty of time to change that okay?"
Lucy nodded before Negan smirked.
"I got some stuff in the truck. Stay here, we'll clean up and spend the night."
"You wanna, stay here?" Negan patted her on the shoulder not answering before walking down the front porch steps. Turning, Lucy watched him, admiring his skinny hips, his broad shoulders, and how his hair was going gray. Looking at him, she still felt so displaced. Turning, she looked back down at the floor where she had these babies she couldn't remember and instantly her forehead wrinkled as she drew her eyebrows down and hurried over. By the time Negan returned with a box of supplies he had kept in the back, Lucy had balled together all of the sheets, and blood stained blankets and hurried past him, nearly knocking him over before tossing them out over the porch railing. When she came back, Negan had drawn up some of the shades in the cabin, and had set down the box on the kitchen table. Walking over, Lucy fixed her hair back in a tighter ponytail before nothing Negan fixing them both drinks in two mason jars from the box he brought.
"What are you doing?"
"Fixing us a drink. I say you rest a bit...I'll keep watch, then maybe in a few hours if you feel up to it we'll hit the road."
"I thought you said you wanted to spend the night?"
"Yeah well, I know you aren't too crazy about that idea and I don't blame you. We're share a drink and you can lay out on the sofa, I'll sit by the window for a few hours..."
"I've slept enough..."
"You seem tired baby. You've been through a lot...trust me okay?"
He handed her the mason jar, filled with a clear liquid. Looking at it, Lucy carefully took it and spelled it before wrinkling her nose.
"What is it?"
"Something that will calm your nerves, drink up..."
He raised the glass.
"To...second chances."
Lucy stared at it for a second before clinking her glass against his.
"Second...chances..."
She repeated before tilting the jar to her lips. There was an instant burn, before the warm liquid traveled down her throat and down into her stomach. She watched Negan drink his, tilting it back and shooting it. Copying him, she did the same, not exactly enjoying the taste before finishing it. Nearly instantly, the booze seemed to go straight to her head. Licking her lips, she handed him the empty jar.
"Thanks..."
Negan smiled.
"Don't mention it. Now go sit down and relax doll..."
Lucy nodded, feeling swimmy headed before slowly walking over to the sofa and sitting down among the throw pillows and folded blankets. There seemed to be thousands of memories wanting so badly to surface...instead they blended together as the booze caused her vision to blur, and soon blend all together...
Fifteen minutes later...
Negan sat beside Lucy who was now sprawled to the side of the sofa, drugged and completely unconscious. The drink Negan had fixed her had been laced with something special he had brought along with them. He knew he needed this time alone with her, to get what he was craving without wrecking what very possibly could be his true second shot with her. In time time he would make her trust him, love him, obey him...but until then he needed to play his cards right. Until then, he would have to use this time, and use it well. He finished his own drink on the coffee table before them, and reached over taking Lucy's limp wrist and felt a strong pulse. He had only used this stuff once or twice, Simon had given it to him and he wasn't exactly too sure how strong it really was. Still, when he snapped his fingers in front of her face, there was no reaction. He lifted her eyelids, dropped them, and listened to her chest which was slowly rising up and down.
He had an hour...maybe... Smiling, he carefully lifted her legs up on the sofa, and looked her over. He felt his erection pulsing in his jeans before he hovered above her. Nuzzling her soft face, his beard scratched against her cheeks and throat. His hands grabbed at her breasts, squeezing above her T-shirt, before lifting it. He stared at her breasts filling her bra, before licking the skin, and being careful not to leave any bite marks. Instead he took deep breaths, and reached down pulling her jeans down, along with her panties. Once they were down around her ankles, he spread her legs slightly and straddled her. Undoing his belt and yanking down his fly, he worked himself out and continued staring at her sleeping peaceful face, completely unaware that any of this was happening... Leaning down, he grunted and pushed himself deep inside of her. Stifling a groan, he sank all the way into her, feeling her tightness and warmth, He laid all his weight down on her, before remembering how good she had felt and at this exact moment everything made sense. Laying there, he pushed gently down before completely losing all control and climaxing inside of her. Unable to help himself, he moaned and clutched onto her before sighing. He felt himself empty out into her and knew he hadn't fully prepared himself for this. Lifting his head, he stared a her while trying to catch his breath. Smiling, he shook his head.
"Guess I didn't expect that to happen darling..."
Working his way out of her, he saw the mess he had made between her thighs and chuckled before sitting up. Scratching his beard, he stared down at her before he wrapped his hand around his now limp penis and began to slowly worked his hand up and down in a frenzy. Working up a sweat, he stared a her and smiled.
"Working on round two honey, just give me a second..."
Lucy continued laying there, drugged and breathing softly unaware that yet again this man had raped her.
Later...
Negan had Lucy naked from the waist down sitting on top of his lap, his own jeans pooled around his ankles. He was holding Lucy by the left shoulder, and right hip, working on making her body go up in a frantic rhythm up and down on his penis, as her head rolled back on her leg like a rag doll. Thrusting upwards, he grabbed onto her, having been raping her in this position for the last ten or so minuites. She felt exactly like she did before, even better now. Negan grunted as he held her, watching her body bob up and down before finally he moaned, squeezing onto her before finishing. It was a rough climax, and as warmth dripped down on him, he allowed Lucy to lay back against him as he laughed. Reaching down he squeezed her breasts before kissing her neck.
"Now, let's get you cleaned up."
Later...
Lucy awoke a few hours later, no longer in the cabin but back in the truck with Negan. Her head resting on his lap, as he drove. It was nearly late evening, and her head felt foggy and slow. Glancing up, she saw Negan driving, one hand on the wheel, the other stroking her hair. Feeling sick to her stomach, she blinked and stared up at him. Something wasn't right. Negan glanced down and smiled.
"Hey darling..."
Lucy slowly slid her head off his lap, not feeling comfortable. Sitting up, she instantly felt dizzy and had to hold onto the dashboard for support. Negan continued driving and glanced over.
"You okay?"
"Lucy's stomach cramped, she felt sick, her head stuffed up, and dizzy. Her throat dry, and her stomach in knots. It felt this same way whenever she got her period. Plus, her skin smelt strongly of soap.
"What...happened?"
She said slowly. Negan glanced at her.
"You had that drink and I think it might have gone to your head...you threw up all over yourself so I had to change your shirt and clean you up a bit..."
Lucy glanced and saw she was wearing Negan's white T-shirt instead of her own. Crossing her arms to cover her breasts by pure instinct, she sat as far as she could on the passenger side and shook her head, rubbing her temples.
"Jesus..."
"Sorry, I knew you were upset and thought it would help. You need rest is all, we're about an hour away from camp. You need a nice hot shower and some more rest...there's water by your feet."
Lucy took the bottle and drank it slowly, her head now pounding.
"I'm so embarrassed..."
"Don't be, you were upset...besides it's not like I haven't seen it before...I wanna give you a heads up though honey, I think your...monthly bill might be due, you can wrap my jacket around your waist when we get back, I'll send for some stuff while you're showering..."
Lucy instantly looked down at the crotch of her jeans, she didn't see any blood stains, and thought she wasn't due for her period for another week. Still, she did feel strange down there, and ever since she had the babies she hadn't been regular. Biting down on her lip, she felt a faint cramp and nodded. Maybe it was just spotting. Trying not to let it get to her she glanced out the window.
"Thank you..."
"Don't worry about it...we'll get you home in no time..."
He reached over, rubbing her arm. Sitting there, Lucy sat there not sure what to believe. Instead she sat there staring out the window wanting so badly to believe this was her husband, and that he was looking after her. Instead as he gently rubbed her arm, and she smelt the strong scent of soap as if somebody had been scrubbing at her skin, and her stomach and insides cramped, she felt as if something wasn't right...and that it was on the verge of getting a whole lot worse. Just then Negan finished into one of the zipper pockets of his leather jacket and finished something out, keeping his eyes till on the road.
"Here..."
Lucy looked over as he dropped it in the palm of her hand. Looking down, she saw it was a stunning sparking diamond ring.
"Is this mine?"
"I lost mine a while back when all this shit started to go down, but I kept yours after you caught pregnant, those fingers of yours would swell so I kept it on me. Thought you would want it..."
Lucy stared down at the ring, surprised by how beautiful it was. Slipping the ring on her left hand, she stared at it as the sparking stone caught some light. Somehow it didn't feel right. Looking, cocking her head to the side as ignored the terrible cramps she felt from down below, and sighed. Negan meanwhile continued glancing at her, grinning.