Hello my beautiful readers,
I'M SO SORRY! ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS AND THATS THE LONGEST I'VE WAITED TO UPDATE! Don't worry guys, I haven't forgotten you guys! Two weeks ago I had such bad internet and technology just wasn't co-operating, I tried the day after and it was the same situation! Last week it completely slipped my mind to update since its been holidays! But...I have been working tirelessly to write pre written chapters before school starts back! And even now I'm on my mums laptop updating because mine just isn't co operating!
Thank you so much to raven that flies at night, Love. Fiction .2017, beetle126, madwamoose, mazeygrace18 and marie0907 for their reviews! I'm so sorry for making you guys wait!
Enough of my blabbering! Enjoy the chapter folks and don't forget to leave a review!
"Maybe we needed to break a little, so we could put ourselves back together more beautifully than before." - Leah Raeder
- Leah Raeder
Her first instinct was to run over to him and embrace him, to kiss him, to hug him, to touch him, to cast diagnostics to see if his injuries were life-threatening or not. Her mind was whirling, her thoughts jumbled, she couldn't believe it, she couldn't believe that after so long he was back. But then anger surged through her, rushing through her veins, how dare he just appears like this, all bruised and tattered, looking at her as if he'd lost his puppy! How dare he leave without a trace for months and then appear on Christmas of all days!
"R-Remus." She muttered, just saying his name made her want to curl into a ball in cry her heart out, how he had hurt her, he had scarred her so bad that saying his name hurt more than one could imagine. Then her survival instincts kicked in, and was suddenly hit with an image of moody cursing her, she flicked her wrist causing her wand to fly into her hand, She aimed it in between his eyes, feeling her heart beating erratically in her chest. "What is the one food you cannot stand the smell of."
He rolled his swollen eyes, blood trickled down the side of his face, "Fish, especially salmon." She dropped her wand slightly feeling slightly reassured, Remus lifted his own but did not aim it at her directly, flashing her a kind smile, she felt her heart melt seeing that smile, the smile that made her fall for him in fifth year and to this day made her want to jump him.
"How is your meat cooked?"
A flicker of a grin appeared on her face and she couldn't help the bubble of laughter that she was forced to hold in before she put on a stotic mask, "Chargrilled and extremely well done. The opposite of your preference." He saw one of the chairs empty and let is duffle bag fall to the ground with a thump before limping over to the chair. He slumped down in the chair, everyone who was attending was cautious and watching him intently. Remus sighed heavily and ran his hand over his bloody face, exhaustion tattooed onto his too old for his age face.
"I was sent on a long term undercover operation to recruit the werewolfs." He stated, many in the room shuffled, Mary clenched her jaw and grinded her teeth together in anger. Remus looked towards Dumbledore whom was staring at him intently. "Dumbledore can confirm it."
Many in the room turned to the old man who was stroking his beard who nodded when Remus mentioned him. Dumbledore moved forward towards the injured boy.
"From your injured state I'm assuming that it wasn't a successful outcome my boy."
Remus looked down, his cheeks colouring as he had to admit his defeat in front of the order.
"No Professor it wasn't. My cover was blown after the full moon two nights prior. They'd gone hunting, attacking muggles; and I…" he looked down and scuffed his heel against the tiles, feeling shame burning through himself as he felt the judgment of those around him. "I didn't do it, I don't know how but even as a werewolf I was able to control myself."
Mary looked up at him, and flashed him a comforting smile, she felt pride overwhelm the anger within as she heard his story, of his strength and infinite goodness, despite his dark nature, he was light all round, he radiated it. Remus looked up in surprise at how fast she had warmed upto him, wondering what he'd deserved to have such a beautiful girl, that despite their rough breakup, and the awful way he treated her, still treated him as well as she did during the height of their relationship.
"Good job." She whispered under her breath, knowing he'd hear her, he let out a breathy laugh, very subtle, something nobody would notice. For once he was glad for his sixth sense, nobody could ever understand how hearing her approval made him feel, how his heart soared.
"Thanks." He muttered equally as low, revelling as he once again heard her blunt honesty.
Later on, one would say this was the rebirth of their relationship, the ignition of a flame.
Dumbledore, whose twinkling eyes were fixated upon them during their exchange were twinkling as if he knew something everybody was unaware of.
"Don't beat yourself up over it Remus my boy." Dumbledore placed his hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sure you succeeded at the other aspects of the mission. Which we shall discuss in three days, before the new year, leaving you time to heal and get reacquainted."
Remus nodded at the man in gratitude, Lily frantically moved forward as everybody resumed their yuletide celebrations, some still watching Remus with blatant suspicion.
"Remus."
"Lils."
Lily raced forward to a seated Remus and threw her arms around him, squeezing him as hard as she could, her voice choked up as she embraced him. "Remus, I've missed you so much! You've missed so much and there is so much to tell you, I don't know where to start!"
"Lil."
Lily gasped as she saw his face close up, her own flushing crimson with anger and worry, "Remus you're injured, let me." She picked up her wand only for Remus to gently pry it out of her grip.
"Lily Evans." He snapped, causing her to glare at him, he saw the guys approaching them from behind Lily. He wanted nothing more than to say hey to them and catch up on everything he'd missed, but he had something he had to do. "You can fix me up tomorrow." He held her two hands in between his own. Remus felt his heart surge with love as he saw unshed tears in his good friends emerald eyes, full of concern and care. It had been so long since he had experienced such emotions. She was undeniably kind, she saw him for who he was and never judged; he was glad that James had found love in someone so selfless, so kind and caring, intelligent and brave...
"Tomorrow!" she gasped, her cheeks flushing
"You could have a fractured skull or a concussion! That's extremely Serious!"
He rolled his eyes, "Lil I'd know if I'd been inflicted with both those things, and trust me, I know that concussions are very serious and have ramifications." he let out a soft laugh and tried to mask his wince, "I've had my fair share of concussions.
She opened her mouth one more time but shut it back when he placed a hand up for her to stop talking. "I promise that you can fix me up, tomorrow, I think that there are a few things I need to do first." His hazel eyes connected with Mary's beautiful blue as he spoke the last part. hearing his proclamation a soft smile spread across mary's face, her heart sped up and her palms clammed up in response.
A little over fifteen minutes later, after greeting their group and organising several catch ups Remus and Mary finally apparated to her flat. Remus dropped his bag to the ground with a resounding bang that echoed around the empty loft and placed his hands in his pockets. Mary moved over to the kitchen and turned on the kettle, leaning against the bench and gazing at him. He shuffled under her piercing stare.
"Sorry about the mess." she muttered, waving her wand to move the pieces of clothing and food wrappers tossed around, Ï haven't had anyone to impress with my cleanliness."
Remus winced at the ice in her tone, knowing that she had intended for that to hit home. "Somehow I feel I need to apologise for that." She raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged, biting her bottom lip as her eyes scanned him up and down.
"You look like you've been to hell and back." She couldn't help it, but that's what he loved about her, she never could. She had no filter what so ever if there was something he knew its that she would've been the world's worst politician, she didn't have a lying bone in her body. He couldn't be sure if it was something that she had always had, or if it was one of Beverley's traits that had rubbed off on her.
He snorted, "It feels like it too."
She rolled her eyes and poured the boiling water into the cup and mixing the cocoa powder in with milk before handing it to him, gazing at him fondly as he gulped the scalding drink down.
"This will make you feel better, It always does."
He took a gulp of the drink, uncaring of how it scalded his throat, despite her protests which fell silent on his ears as he was drinking his favourite drink, he hadn't had it in months!
Mary let out a laugh as the frothed milk formed a mustache on his upper lip, Remus looked up at her in concern,
"Is there something on my face?"
She looked into his eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes and nodded. "I'm not going to lie, white, milky moustaches really complement your skin tone, you'll be a good looking old man Remus."
It was almost like old times, joking and laughter, hot chocolates and fun. He licked away the milk and rolled his eyes as he looked into her own. She was so beautiful, and so unbelievably funny. Merlin he loved her so much, but he no longer knew if she did. As he watched her uncharacteristicly daintily sip on chamomile tea, he found that he couldn't convey how much he missed her with words, merlin he missed her, and he loved her so damn much. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, to run his hands through her hair, to share a dinner with her, grip her hand as they walked through the streets, sit up and watch muggle films, debate over food...
"Mare-"
But she cut him off by raising her hand, her face surprisingly stern. "No, not now."
He looked at her surprised, he shouldn't have been, not really… she had always been very observant.
Mary wanted so bad to rekindle with him, she wanted things to go back to the way they were before all this shit. But she also had self respect and dignity. He had hurt her, he had broken her heart. And as petty as it sounded, she wanted him to hurt, no matter how much she loved him. She wanted him to know exactly how much she had suffered, how many nights she had sat up crying pathetically or wondering where he was.
He was her first and only love, and he broke her heart. What cut even deeper was the fact he hadn't had the guts to do it face to face, he left a letter, a bloody letter!
Remus opened his mouth to speak but before he could let one sound out Mary interrupted him, her cheeks slightly pink.
"Let me speak Remus, as you always say, Ladies first." He winced at her tone, she clenched her jaw as she saw the pain register in his eyes. He was hurting too. "You hurt me." He visibly winced, "You broke my heart into tiny little pieces, and I should hate you for it, damn it I wish I could hate you for it!" Tears began to well up in her eyes, and underneath all the pain Remus felt some hope in his heart, she didn't hate him. "But I just cant." Her voice cracked at the last word, he felt every word stab him, "I just cant hate you, no matter how much I wish I did."
He looked like a kicked puppy dog, his eyes were so sad at her words.
"I love you, But I cant be with you. Not now." He visibly deflated and she could see in his face the effect of the words that were coming out of her mouth had on him. "We have one week left of this year, lets live the rest of it out as friends, and after the clock strikes twelve next week, we will discuss the next step."
Her heart soared at his reaction,
"But right now I- I cant, and I'm sorry for that."
Lily continued to interweave Sirius's hair into a braid as the group chortled over a memory he said as they sat down on piles of blankets and pillows overlooking London, in perfect view for the midnight fireworks.
"In all honesty though, the best thing about 1978 is that in exactly…" he cast a not so surreptitious tempus charm, causing laughter to echo around the group, "forty seven minutes, it'll be over."
"You cant say that!" Lily gaped at him from behind, lightly pulling on his braid. He turned slightly, blowing cigarette smoke in her direction, causing her to, as James would say, 'do that cute nose crinkle.
"Why the fuck not?"
Lily rolled her eyes, "You graduated! You finished Hogwarts, started auror training-"
Sirius interrupted her by mumbling under his breath loud enough for everyone to hear."Death camp you mean."
Alice let out a giggle and Lily snorted, "Shut up you love it!" he shrugged his shoulders and Elizabeth muffled her laugh behind her hand. "You fell in love, you two moved in, Ally and Frank got hitched…"
"And you're sounding like you're running out of good things to say Lils." Elizabeth snorted as she moved her hands closer to the fire pit in front of them, warming herself up, despite the fact she could've used magic to do the same thing.
"I'm not!"
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "Yeah so we finished school and fell in love, that's about it as far as good things go. My parents died, Bev died, we started fighting wars, killed a few people, I got hit by the cruciatus about half a dozen times, duelled Voldy…"
"Liz it sounds like you're running out of bad things to say." Lily cheekily retorted, interrupting Elizabeth who turned to her and raised an eyebrow, struggling to hide the smile that was growing on her face. Mary took a sip of her hot chocolate and shook her head at the antics of her friends.
"Not to sound depressing but this years probably as good as its gonna get for a while." Frank told them, interlocking his fingers with Alices, "I cant tell you the bad things that might happen-"
"Some of us might not be in the land of the living in 365 days." Sirius huffed, shoving the cigarette but against the ground to shut it.
Frank gave him a dirty look,
"But I mean there's some good things." Some in the group looked at them sceptically, "James and Lily are getting married soon! You guys will become junior aurors and will get to go to a snazzy party! Maybe someone will have mini marauders, James I'm looking at you. Who knows, for merlins sake maybe the war will end!"
Elizabeth took a sip of her earl grey, tearing up slightly at the thought of the coming year. Despite what Frank was saying, she felt less than optimistic about the coming year. All she knew was that it was going to bring more death, more suffering, more heartache and injuries, less hope, bloody battles and shattered souls. She could not look into her friends eyes and promise she would be there in a years time, and she knew they couldn't reciprocate. Nobody knew anymore what the next day would bring.
She didn't want fake promises from hopelessly optimistic people.
"Hey if you want to look forward to something about next year, your going to get a pretty dress, free of charge, from me. I think that's a pretty good deal when all you have to do is support me and help me plan a wedding."
Mary snorted into her hot chocolate, "I'll take a 24crt gold bracelet with that, you know, the cherry on top. The dress for standing next to you and the gold for helping you plan a wedding."
"I never thought you to be the type for opulent jewellery Mare." James raised an eyebrow at her,
"Oh I'm not, But I'd appreciate something of equal or higher value."
Lily let out a laugh, knowing how much Mary despised of all the fancy proceedings.
"You have my undividing love and friendship."
Mary rolled her eyes at Lily. Really, she wanted that gold bracelet. Sirius looked towards her and threw a chip at her head causing her to look over at him increduclously.
"Don't be so ungrateful Mare, you could at least give her a fake thank you!" She coldly gazed at him, but after a few moments she relented and began to laugh. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"What?"
"I'm sorry Sirius, I cant take you seriously when you've got braids through your hair!" she laughed, trying to calm herself but failing.. The rest of the group began to laugh too causing Sirius to look at them in curiousity and confusion.
"Braids are punk rock!" This caused the group to laugh even more, Sirius gave them all the finger, "You guys wont be laughing at me when all the new trends are braided hair!"
"Sirius, guys with braided hair and buns are never going to come in!" Peter snorted, he shook his head solemnly,
"No, watch it, I'm going to be a fifty year old man and I'm still going to have my hair like this, like all the young ones will. Its punk rock!"
"Young ones!" James spat out his Butterbeer, "You're beginning to sound like that fifty year old guy Pads!"
"Shut the fuck up Prongs!"
"Language boys." Lily placated them as she took a swing of her Butterbeer, they both turned and gave her identical looks of displeasure causing her to giggle into the bottle.
"Anyone have bets for the next year?" James couldn't help but ask as he lay back against the boulder behind him, Sirius raised himself on his elbow and lay down,
"My bet is that next year you and Lily will get married." Lily shoved her elbow into his side causing him to loudly wince and turn back to her, "Merlin woman! You must be real rough in bed, poor James, he bruises easy!" James levitated a pebble and dropped it over Sirius's head.
"Your bet has to be on an unforseen event." Peter couldn't help but lean forward,
"How can you predict an event if its unforseen?" Lily raised an eyebrow at the statement.
"That is very true Peter!" she pointed at him and nodded, "You are a secret genius!
Whilst the group was preoccupied Remus leant over towards Mary who he'd coincidentally sat next to and poked her in the shoulder causing her to jump slightly, startled.
"Merlin Remus, don't do that!" she placed a hand on his bicep in shock, he felt goosebumps appear on his arms despite the warming charms he'd placed on himself. He looked into her blue eyes and felt his heart begin to pump faster, and as he dragged his gaze down to her perfect pink lips he felt his desire for her quadriple. He instinctively knew that his hands were getting clammy.
But he'd promised her, after midnight, it wasn't too long away, fourty minutes. He didn't know if he could last that long.
Mary looked at him, and she felt her heart speed up, and she couldn't help but rub her thumb against the bicep where her hand was resting. Merlin he was beautiful, with reddened nose and cheeks from the cold, his brown hair falling across his forehead, his eyes, which were darkened with lust exploring her. She felt shivers go down her spine.
She didn't care how long there was until midnight, she didn't care about the technicalities. He was in front of her, breathless with lust, gazing at her animalistically. If they weren't with all their friends she would've dropped her panties right then and there. Mary moved her head closer to his, she just needed to feel him, she didn't care how, she just needed him.
"Macdonald those pants make your legs look fantabulous!" Sirius slurred, causing the couple to turn slowly towards an intoxicated Sirius who'd had his fair share of drinks that night, " You know where else they'd look great?" He paused for dramatic affect.
"Would you care to enlighten us?" Mary questioned irritably, annoyed that he felt the need to interrupt them.
"Remus's floor."
Elizabeth elbowed him in the side and gave him a look that clearly said 'shut up', Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Are you hitting on Mary or me?"
Sirius rolled his eyes and moved closer to the two, and waved Mary to move closer to him. She shuffled only slightly closer, slightly afraid of what he was going to do.
"You know, I taught Remus how to wa-"
"PADFOOT!" Remus interjected, his cheeks aflame, sniggers went around the group. Sirius turned to Remus and winked cheekily at his best friend.
"Anyhow, Moony's grandma once caught him with a b-"
"PADFOOT!"
"-and she told him that he'd have hairy palms." Sirius snorted, but before he could continue Elizabeth pushed him down and covered his mouth whilst straddling him. Mary was holding her stomach trying to contain her mirth. Sirius pressed his tongue against her hand causing her to instinctively pull away.
"Kinky." He leant up on his elbows, "You always liked being on top anyway."
11:59pm, 31st December 1978
Elizabeth clutched onto Sirius's hand tighter as they heard the loudspeakers around the city counting down to the new year.
It was so surreal to finally be leaving 1978 well behind them, she couldn't believe that after everything, they finally got to start a clean slate. In all honesty just the thought of the previous year left a bitter taste in her mouth.
All the meaningless deaths, all the bloodshed and suffering, the senseless pain. All in the name of freedom, a cause she thought was vehemently ridiculous; After all, what was freedom? It was nothing more than the right to hold ones head up with pride. Freedom did not give health and happiness, education and success, it did not ensure safety and justice, only freedom, and that was rarely absolute. No, she did not fight for freedom, she fought for all the things that freedom did not guarantee, all the basic necessities to life.
But to every negative, there was a positive.
She could say, that the best thing that happened that year was being with Sirius. Despite their arguments and disagreements, he made her so happy. She could not describe the love she felt in her heart whenever he was around, the fluttering in her stomach, the way that her brain just stopped functioning. Merlin she could not convey how much she loved him, and how damn hard she had fallen for him.
He was beautiful, he was funny, intelligent, charismatic, brave, chivalrous… She could go on for days about his many endearing qualities. But most of all, she didn't doubt his love for her, after everything, she knew that he loved and cared for her profoundly.
She turned her head to the right, and a smile spread across her cheeks as she caught the gleeful expression on his face as he watched the buildings light up with the countdown. A wolfish smile spread across his aristocratic features, stormy grey eyes alight with excitement shadowed by dark eyelashes.
10
"Move in with me?"
"Like…live here?" she questioned, her eyes suspiciously bright,
Elizabeth looked up at him, her eyes bright and unshed tears welling up in them and nodded. A large smile spread across his face as he looked at her in disbelief. He let out a laugh of disbelief.
"Really? You'll move in with me?" he laughed, she had never seen him so happy. He looked so alive and young.
"Yes really!" she laughed and wrapped her legs around him, "I'll move in with you."
9
Orphan, orphan, orphan, orphan.
8
""well are you going to thank me?"
"I didn't ask you to do it." she stated, cocking her hip out and placing a manicured hand on it.
"yes you did."
"I don't recall ever saying 'Sirius can you please chuck my trunk on the rack,' You suggested it, two completely different things." She replied before walking off then stopping afew feet away, "If you want someone to thank you go upto some one who admires you more than you admire yourself."
7
"You know, I didn't… hic…give you your present…hic…but I had it on me…all night." He stuttered and hiccupped inbetween words. Her heart began to thump in her chest in anticipation. He didn't forget...
"You did." She looked at him, her eyes widened in shock, she started biting her nails and fiddling with her hands. He didn't have to, she wanted him to of course, but he certainly didn't need to.
"Yeah… here." He gave her a small square box that was wrapped in blue wrapping and a silver ribbon. The blue of her eyes, a very light blue.
6
"If you die I…" his voice cracked, as the weight of the battle finally succumbed to him.
"I would forgive you." She whispered tears welling up in her blue eyes, "Just let me do this." Sirius looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes dark, a fire was burning behind those grey orbs, a fire that no one could possibly burn out for they would get burnt, a look of defeat passed over him for a moment and she knew, she knew that she would get through this.
"If I'm going to die, I want to do it on my own terms." she whispered.
5
Sirius's gaze fleeted over her face, he could count her few freckles splayed across the bridge of her nose, he could see the hairs of her arched eyebrows, he could count her dark lashes. His gaze dropped to her pouting pink lips and like a starved man he lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers.
Her arms moved up his back and circled around his neck as his arms encircled her small waist. She leant up on her tippy toes and ran her hands through his wavy locks as they passionately them people clapped and cheered, catcalls around them.
4
The crowd silenced after a while, and when they did, the Gryffindor seventh years moved forward, and in tandem they charmed the candles so they would levitate above the water. The seven candles cast an eerie glow above the clear waters of the black lake as they floated across the expanse. Their fellow student body lit their wands in tribute to a wonderful person, and in honour of a lost life.
It was a sign of respect to someone you loved and lost.
And they had loved Beverley Wilkins very much, and would continue to do so for the rest of their days.
3
"I don't know if I can give that to you." He whispered, "I would give you the world, but I don't think I can give you that."
"I don't need the world." She whispered, "I just need you."
2
"je t'aime mon ange"
"je t'aime aussi"
1
"HAPPY NEW YEARS!"
She was shaken away from her reverie as she felt Sirius's arms encircle her waist and swing her around. A loud laugh escaped her as the cold wind blew her hair away from her face. He dropped her to her feet and pulled her dark locks away from her face, looking into her glorious blue eyes.
He loved her.
"Happy new years Mon ange." He whispered as he leant closer to give her her midnight kiss. She smiled as he moved closer to her and the strong scent of his cologne invaded her senses.
"Happy new years dog boy." He laughed as their lips connected, they both smiled into the kiss, fireworks from all around London were surrounding them as they embraced passionately.
Mary rolled her eyes at the sickening displays her friends were putting on, and she couldn't help but feel a bitter taste in her mouth knowing that she could easily be partaking in those same activities. But she was a stubborn bitch. She turned slightly to see Remus's expression, only to see that he was gazing at her once more. She felt her insides flip and her heart beat erratically in her chest. She felt all her resolve begin to chip at her.
It was after midnight.
It didn't matter anymore.
She opened her mouth to speak, turning to face him fully. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could continue her words, Remus interjected.
"You know, I realised that I haven't had a shower since last year." He whispered, looping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. She felt warmth surge through her as she was in his embrace for the first time in months. A smirk graced her face.
"You know what, me neither." She whispered, biting her fuller bottom lip, he stared her the sensual action for a moment before looking into her sapphire orbs and winking at her.
"Maybe we should…deal with that together?" Mary leant forward so she could feel his warm breath against her face, and she could almost taste him in his air. He leant forward and captured her lips with his.
It was after midnight afterall.
It seemed that the first few hours of 1979 were putting a high standard for the rest of the year.
I couldn't deprive you of a chapter for two weeks and not give you a good one! Down below is a sneak peek for next chapter!
"You're going to rot in Azkaban, or you're going to die!"
Please don't forget to review! Everyone who leaves one on a signed account will be sent a second sneak peek from the upcoming chapters! I hoped you enjoyed the chapter and cant wait for the upcoming content! Theres some exciting stuff planned!
Ruby xo